Sex and Psychology Podcast

Research has found that gay men are substantially more likely to experience erectile dysfunction than heterosexual men, whereas heterosexual men are more likely to experience premature ejaculation than gay men. So what’s up with that? In this episode, we’re going dive into the science that can help to explain this curious pattern, as well as discuss tips for dealing with ED. I am joined once again by Tom Bruett, a licensed marriage and family therapist, trainer, consultant, and author who works extensively with the queer community. He is the founder of the Queer Relationship Institute, and author of the book The Go-To Relationship Guide for Gay Men: From Honeymoon to Lasting Commitment, which will be published in March 2025. Some of the specific questions we answer in this episode include: How common is ED among gay men? How does performance anxiety impact gay men, and how do you deal with this? How do recreational drugs impact sexual functioning? What are some strategies to improve erectile function? How might rapid ejaculation be viewed differently in gay vs. heterosexual contexts? You can learn more by checking out the Queer Relationship Institute’s Linktree. Got a sex question? Send me a podcast voicemail to have it answered on a future episode at speakpipe.com/sexandpsychology. *** Thank you to our sponsors!  TENGA is Japan’s leading sexual wellness brand, specializing in discreet, stylish products. Take advantage of their year-end sale and Christmas bundles at the TENGA Store USA and TENGA Store Europe. Use code SEXANDPSYCH to save 15% off your first purchase with a minimum spend of $15 (US) or €30 (Europe).  Passionate about building a career in sexuality? Check out the Sexual Health Alliance. With SHA, you’ll connect with world-class experts and join an engaged community of sexuality professionals from around the world. Visit SexualHealthAlliance.com and start building the sexuality career of your dreams today. The Kinsey Institute at Indiana University has been a trusted source for scientific knowledge and research on critical issues in sexuality, gender, and reproduction for over 75 years. Learn about more research and upcoming events at kinseyinstitute.org or look for them on social media @kinseyinstitute. *** Want to learn more about Sex and Psychology? Click here for previous articles or follow the blog on Facebook, Twitter, or Bluesky to receive updates. You can also follow Dr. Lehmiller on YouTube and Instagram. Listen and stream all episodes on Apple, Spotify, Google, or Amazon. Subscribe to automatically receive new episodes and please rate and review the podcast! Credits: Precision Podcasting (Podcast editing) and Shutterstock/Florian (Music). Image created with Canva; photos used with permission of guest.

Most relationship advice is tailored to heterosexual folks. And while some of that is also applicable queer relationships, not all of it is. Queer relationships are unique and therefore need relationship advice that’s tailored to them. My guest today has a forthcoming book that offers a relationship guide for gay men, so that’s what we’re going to be talking about in this show. I am joined by Tom Bruett, a licensed marriage and family therapist, trainer, consultant, and author who works extensively with the queer community. He is the founder of the Queer Relationship Institute, and author of the book The Go-To Relationship Guide for Gay Men: From Honeymoon to Lasting Commitment, which will be published in March 2025. Some of the specific questions we answer in this episode include: What are the unique stages that gay men’s relationships go through? What’s the deal with gay men and “daddy issues?” For gay men who struggle to make a relationship last beyond the honeymoon stage, what do they need to know? How can understanding your attachment style help in navigating dating and relationships? How do you find a sex or relationship therapist who is knowledgable and gay-affirming? You can learn more by checking out the Queer Relationship Institute’s Linktree. Got a sex question? Send me a podcast voicemail to have it answered on a future episode at speakpipe.com/sexandpsychology. *** Thank you to our sponsors!  Passionate about building a career in sexuality? Check out the Sexual Health Alliance. With SHA, you’ll connect with world-class experts and join an engaged community of sexuality professionals from around the world. Visit SexualHealthAlliance.com and start building the sexuality career of your dreams today. Whether you’re just a few dates in or have been together a long time, it’s time to lighten the mood and have fun with your partner by using Paired. Head over to paired.com/justin to get a 7-day free trial and 25% off if you sign up for a subscription. *** Want to learn more about Sex and Psychology? Click here for previous articles or follow the blog on Facebook, Twitter, or Bluesky to receive updates. You can also follow Dr. Lehmiller on YouTube and Instagram. Listen and stream all episodes on Apple, Spotify, Google, or Amazon. Subscribe to automatically receive new episodes and please rate and review the podcast! Credits: Precision Podcasting (Podcast editing) and Shutterstock/Florian (Music). Image created with Canva; photos used with permission of guest.

Financial domination or findom involves a submissive (usually a man) who gives money or control of their finances to a dominant partner (usually a woman). The sub is not expecting anything in return—it’s about submitting, giving up control, sometimes being humiliated, and being aroused by all of this. So why are people into findom, and why does it seem to be growing in popularity? My guest today is Jessica van Meir, a PhD candidate at the Harvard Kennedy School who studies sex work. Jessica is co-founder of MintStars, a subscription platform for content creators, models, and their fans. She also co-authored a chapter in the new book Sex Work Today: Erotic Labor in the 21st Century that explores the rise of financial kinks. Some of the specific questions we answer in this episode include: Who’s into findom and why? How is findom similar to or different from sugar dating? What’s the connection between findom, our growing economic crises, and capitalism? How can findom serve as a way of coping with financial precarity? How does findom both challenge and reinforce traditional gender power dynamics? To learn more about Jessica, follow her on the socials at @jessicavanmeir.bsky.social You can get 30% off  Sex Work Today when you input code NYUP30 at checkout on nyupress.org. Got a sex question? Send me a podcast voicemail to have it answered on a future episode at speakpipe.com/sexandpsychology. *** Thank you to our sponsors!  Maintain your intimate health with NeuEve. Check out NeuEve’s array of science-backed products created by an OB/GYN for promoting vaginal wellness. Visit neueve.com/justin to learn more and save 5% off of your order! *** Want to learn more about Sex and Psychology? Click here for previous articles or follow the blog on Facebook, Twitter, or Bluesky to receive updates. You can also follow Dr. Lehmiller on YouTube and Instagram. Listen and stream all episodes on Apple, Spotify, Google, or Amazon. Subscribe to automatically receive new episodes and please rate and review the podcast! Credits: Precision Podcasting (Podcast editing) and Shutterstock/Florian (Music). Image created with Canva; photos used with permission of guest.

These days, it seems like sex is everywhere you look. We live in a very pornified culture in many ways, but it wasn’t always like this. So what changed? In today’s show, we’re going to explore the rise of “raunch culture.” Some of the topics we’ll discuss include the effects of living in a hypersexualized society, the mixed messages that women receive about sex, and why raunch culture and purity culture co-exist. I am joined once again by Dr. Bernadette Barton, a Professor of Sociology and the Director of Gender Studies at Morehead State University. Barton is co-editor of the new book Sex Work Today: Erotic Labor in the 21st Century. She is also author of the book The Pornification of America. Her research and teaching explore contemporary issues of gender, sexuality, religion, culture, happiness, and the sex industry. Some of the specific questions we answer in this episode include: What is “raunch culture?” When and why did our culture start to become so highly pornified? Is raunch culture empowering to women? Is the hypersexualization of society a sign of sex-positivity? Raunch culture and purity culture seem at odds with one another, so how do they exist simultaneously? You can get 30% off  Sex Work Today when you input code NYUP30 at checkout on nyupress.org. Got a sex question? Send me a podcast voicemail to have it answered on a future episode at speakpipe.com/sexandpsychology. *** Thank you to our sponsors!  Passionate about building a career in sexuality? Check out the Sexual Health Alliance. With SHA, you’ll connect with world-class experts and join an engaged community of sexuality professionals from around the world. Visit SexualHealthAlliance.com and start building the sexuality career of your dreams today. The Kinsey Institute at Indiana University has been a trusted source for scientific knowledge and research on critical issues in sexuality, gender, and reproduction for over 75 years. Learn about more research and upcoming events at kinseyinstitute.org or look for them on social media @kinseyinstitute. *** Want to learn more about Sex and Psychology? Click here for previous articles or follow the blog on Facebook, Twitter, or Bluesky to receive updates. You can also follow Dr. Lehmiller on YouTube and Instagram. Listen and stream all episodes on Apple, Spotify, Google, or Amazon. Subscribe to automatically receive new episodes and please rate and review the podcast! Credits: Precision Podcasting (Podcast editing) and Shutterstock/Florian (Music). Image created with Canva; photos used with permission of guest.