Kids with vulnerable nervous systems need more co-regulation than other kids their age and yes it’s exhausting.Did you know it’s possible to be GOOD exhausted and not just BAD exhausted?!?! It’s you’re chronically exhausted, you’re probably not doing as much co-regulation as you are masking how dysregulated you are.And hey- no judgment here! This is very explicitly a no-judgment episode. I don’t want you to feel bad or even try to do anything different.In this episode, you’ll learnThe difference between co-regulating and maskingHow doing something really hard (like co-regulating a child with a vulnerable nervous system day in and day out) means that YOU need more connection and co-regulation, too!That you don’t need to try to do anything different right now, it’s too much work to do anything different. In this episode, I’ll just ask you to notice- without judgmentResources mentioned in this podcast:Stress Response System {EP 94}Read the full transcript at: RobynGobbel.com/coregulatingormaskingFollow Me On:FacebookInstagramOver on my website you can find:Webinar and eBook on Focus on the Nervous System to Change Behavior (FREE)eBook on The Brilliance of Attachment (FREE)LOTS & LOTS of FREE ResourcesOngoing support, connection, and co-regulation for struggling parents: The ClubYear-Long Immersive & Holistic Training Program for Parenting ProfessionalsCheck Out All Robyn's Free Resources!You can download all sorts of free resources, including webinars, eBook, and infographics about topics such as lying, boundaries, and co-regulation!RobynGobbel.com/FreeResources :::Buy Raising Kids with Big, Baffling Behaviors at RobynGobbel.com/BafflingBookJoin The Club (or get on the waiting list!) over at RobynGobbel.com/TheClubHop on the waiting list for Being With- an immersive professional training program exploring the neurobiology of big, baffling behaviors at RobynGobbel.com/BeingWith
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Ep. 216: "On Purpose" Behavior
Have you ever wondered how those behaviors that feel 'on purpose' fit into this nervous system approach?They feel so intentional! Like there is so much Owl-brain thought involved.But they certainly aren't behaviors of connection!!!This episode will:Demystify 'on purpose' behaviorsRemind you to always consider regulation, connection, and felt safety...then strategize how to respond to those 'on purpose' behaviors accordinglyCheck Out All Robyn's Free Resources!You can download all sorts of free resources, including webinars, eBook, and infographics about topics such as lying, boundaries, and co-regulation!RobynGobbel.com/FreeResources :::Buy Raising Kids with Big, Baffling Behaviors at RobynGobbel.com/BafflingBookJoin The Club (or get on the waiting list!) over at RobynGobbel.com/TheClubHop on the waiting list for Being With- an immersive professional training program exploring the neurobiology of big, baffling behaviors at RobynGobbel.com/BeingWith
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Ep. 215: The #1 Ingredient of Self Regulation
Monitoring and modifying are the two essential elements of regulation. ~ Dr. Dan SiegelWhen we really understand what makes up the skill of self-regulation, we can be more intentional about helping our kids develop those skills.We can also be more understanding and compassionate when they aren't able to use those skills!This episode explores the skills of monitoring (noticing) and modifying (changing) our level of arousal and activation as the main ingredients of self-regulation.Remember that self-regulation can only develop with enough co-regulation. But once there is a strong foundation of co-regulation, we can encourage our kids to develop the skills to notice and change (when appropriate or needed!) their level of arousal. In this episode, you’ll learnThe main ingredients of self-regulation- monitor & modifyHow to scaffold up to teaching kids to monitor and modifyHow to have appropriate expectations about your child’s ability to monitor and modify, even after they have learned the skillsResources mentioned in this podcast:The Whole-Brain Child - Dr. Dan SiegalNo-Drama Discipline - Dr. Dan SiegalRead the full transcript at: RobynGobbel.com/ingredientFollow Me On:FacebookInstagramOver on my website you can find:Webinar and eBook on Focus on the Nervous System to Change Behavior (FREE)eBook on The Brilliance of Attachment (FREE)LOTS & LOTS of FREE ResourcesOngoing support, connection, and co-regulation for struggling parents: The ClubYear-Long Immersive & Holistic Training Program for Parenting Professionals: Being WithCheck Out All Robyn's Free Resources!You can download all sorts of free resources, including webinars, eBook, and infographics about topics such as lying, boundaries, and co-regulation!RobynGobbel.com/FreeResources :::The All-About-Me workbook will help your child grow their owl brain and develop ways to calm their watchdog and possum brain. 24 page, full-color, instant download at RobynGobbel.com/store :::Buy Raising Kids with Big, Baffling Behaviors at RobynGobbel.com/BafflingBookJoin The Club (or get on the waiting list!) over at RobynGobbel.com/TheClubHop on the waiting list for Being With- an immersive professional training program exploring the neurobiology of big, baffling behaviors at RobynGobbel.com/BeingWith
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EP 214: Helping Kids with Medical Trauma with Rose LaPiere
Medical trauma can feel confusing because in many circumstances, we are seeking out the very medical interventions that our kids experience as traumatic. Trauma is in the eye of the beholder. Some kids experience trauma due to their time in the NICU. Some kids experience trauma at the dentist. Some kids experience trauma due to an emergency or accident. Much of the time, parents feel helpless or even guilty for ‘causing’ the trauma. In this episode, you’ll learnHow medical treatment can have a traumatic impactHow to help kids make sense of confusing medical treatmentA couple of ideas for how to help kids prepare for medical treatmentRead the full transcript at: RobynGobbel.com/medicaltraumaFollow Me On:FacebookInstagramOver on my website you can find:Webinar and eBook on Focus on the Nervous System to Change Behavior (FREE)eBook on The Brilliance of Attachment (FREE)LOTS & LOTS of FREE ResourcesOngoing support, connection, and co-regulation for struggling parents: The ClubYear-Long Immersive & Holistic Training Program for Parenting Professionals: Being WithCheck Out All Robyn's Free Resources!You can download all sorts of free resources, including webinars, eBook, and infographics about topics such as lying, boundaries, and co-regulation!RobynGobbel.com/FreeResources :::The All-About-Me workbook will help your child grow their owl brain and develop ways to calm their watchdog and possum brain. 24 page, full-color, instant download at RobynGobbel.com/store :::Buy Raising Kids with Big, Baffling Behaviors at RobynGobbel.com/BafflingBookJoin The Club (or get on the waiting list!) over at RobynGobbel.com/TheClubHop on the waiting list for Being With- an immersive professional training program exploring the neurobiology of big, baffling behaviors at RobynGobbel.com/BeingWith
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Ep. 213: Resentment & Parenting
Resentment. We’ve all felt it.Very little about this parenting journey has gone according to plan.We’ve done the hard work- the never-ending work actually - of rewiring everything we thought we knew about behavior, what it means to be human, how to parent, and how to have a family.Some days we do it without a second thought.Some days are full of resentment and anger.You aren’t a bad person. But resentment feels bad! In this episode, you’ll learnThe very important job that resentment does for youA message that resentment might be trying to tell youThe importance of staying curious - and not shaming - about the feeling of resentmentResources mentioned in this podcast:When Parenting is Traumatic {EP 95}Grief in Parenting Kids with Vulnerable Nervous Systems {EP 129}Read the full transcript at: RobynGobbel.com/resentmentFollow Me On:FacebookInstagramOver on my website you can find:Webinar and eBook on Focus on the Nervous System to Change Behavior (FREE)eBook on The Brilliance of Attachment (FREE)LOTS & LOTS of FREE ResourcesOngoing support, connection, and co-regulation for struggling parents: The ClubYear-Long Immersive & Holistic Training Program for Parenting Professionals: Being WithCheck Out All Robyn's Free Resources!You can download all sorts of free resources, including webinars, eBook, and infographics about topics such as lying, boundaries, and co-regulation!RobynGobbel.com/FreeResources :::The All-About-Me workbook will help your child grow their owl brain and develop ways to calm their watchdog and possum brain. 24 page, full-color, instant download at RobynGobbel.com/store :::Buy Raising Kids with Big, Baffling Behaviors at RobynGobbel.com/BafflingBookJoin The Club (or get on the waiting list!) over at RobynGobbel.com/TheClubHop on the waiting list for Being With- an immersive professional training program exploring the neurobiology of big, baffling behaviors at RobynGobbel.com/BeingWith
About The Baffling Behavior Show {Parenting after Trauma}
Formerly the Parenting after Trauma podcast, internationally recognized children's mental health expert Robyn Gobbel decodes the most baffling behaviors for parents of kids with vulnerable nervous systems. If you're parenting a child who has experienced trauma or toxic stress or a child with a neuroimmune disorder, sensory processing, or other nervous system vulnerability, this show will let you know you are not alone. You can stop playing behavior whack-a-mole because Robyn offers you tools that actually work. You can become your child's expert, feel more confident as a parent, and bring more connection and clarity into your family.Educators, therapists, coaches and consultants- you too can learn all about what behavior really is and become more effective at helping the families you support. You can love your work again!
Listen to The Baffling Behavior Show {Parenting after Trauma}, Focus on the Family with Jim Daly and many other podcasts from around the world with the radio.net app