Do You F*cking Mind?

Can you truly love someone and still cheat? Honest advice on infidelity, setting boundaries with a mother-in-law and why a best friend might ghost you.

Key takeaways
Can you truly love someone and still cheat on them? My honest take on whether love and infidelity can exist together, and what that says about the kind of love you’re offering.
Do you want your ex back, or just their forgiveness? Learn how guilt, insecurity and the need for validation can feel like love after a breakup, and how to tell the difference.
The two questions every healthy relationship depends on. Discover a simple test for whether your relationship is built to last, and why I believes good relationships shouldn’t feel hard.
How to handle an overbearing mother-in-law. Find out who’s really responsible for setting boundaries with a clingy in-law, and the one conversation that will show you whether things can change.
Why do people ghost their friends when they’re depressed? Understand what might be behind a friend’s silence, what to make of their social media activity, and how to find closure when someone you love goes quiet.
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**How to Feed Your Brain for a Happier, Healthier You**
In today's world, it's easy to get caught up in the habit of mindless scrolling and doom scrolling, but what if you could turn those "dead" moments into something more enriching?
In this episode I go into the importance of consuming a balanced diet of information, including education, entertainment, and comfort. Our brains are wired to respond to stories and how this can be a powerful tool for retaining information and making it more enjoyable.
This ep will teach your how to turn "dead time" into something more productive where you feel more fulfilled at the end of the day.
Thank you so much to the episode sponsor Audible for working together with me to bring you this piece. (and for providing me with my favourite audio books)
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Struggling to decide between staying home or moving overseas? In this ep I give you 9 questions to ask yourself to get the clarity you need. Then I answer 3 listener questions. Key themes covered are indecision after moving, what changing locations does to personal growth and how to plan ahead for the difficult times that moving can bring.
Takeaways -
Are you after adventure or permanent change? A year abroad for adventure means saying yes to everything, not settling into a dull nine-to-five. A move for permanent change comes from dissatisfaction, so be clear about which one it is. If money is what’s holding you back, booking a non-refundable flight can turn a dream into a plan.
Are you running away or chasing something? You take yourself with you wherever you go. Moving fixes problems with your town or city, but not your habits or motivation. A sunny city won’t make you a morning person. A new place is a strong fresh start, but only if you do the work.
Plan for everyday life, not the holiday version. Think about what a normal Monday will look like, how you cope with being alone, and whether you can afford to come home if things go wrong. Then ask which you’d regret more in five years: going or staying.
Loneliness after emigrating keeps your brain in survival mode. Long stretches without safety or belonging keep the brain in a stressed, reactive state, which wears down confidence and self-esteem. The main fix is building a sense of belonging. That can start small: run clubs, volunteering, learning your barista’s name, getting to know your neighbours.
Being alone abroad isn’t a failure, and moving for love needs a fair plan. Travelling solo builds self-trust and resilience, even when it doesn’t feel that way. If you keep moving for a partner’s career, talk honestly about a long-term plan before the sacrifices turn into resentment.
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What you can walk to shapes your mental health. Having shops, cafés and friends within a 10-minute walk means you leave home more often and have more small interactions. Long drives make you batch your errands into one trip, which is more isolating.
Other Takeaways
Living close to friends makes you happier because it allows spontaneous catch-ups. Living nearby turns a quick text into a coffee or a dog walk together. A 40-minute drive means every catch-up has to be planned, so you see good friends far less often.
Chrono-urbanism: time-based living lowers chronic stress. This urban planning idea measures a place by how quickly you can reach what you need. Short trips and good public transport cut the daily stress of traffic, parking and long drives.
The “big house, small life” problem: more space can mean less connection. Many families move further out for a yard and extra rooms, then end up feeling isolated. Choosing location over space often makes for a bigger social life.
Social connection protects your health, and small interactions count. Research comparing the health impact of loneliness to smoking about 15 cigarettes a day. Chatting with neighbours and strangers builds a sense of belonging, which supports mental health, immunity and healthy years of life.
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Feeling lost, stuck people-pleasing, or like you’re living the 'wrong' version of your life? In this encore episode, I break down what your authentic self really means, the psychology of self-conflict and self-discrepancy theory, and how living authentically boosts your self-esteem, confidence and resilience.
Too much choice can leave you paralysed, and the pressure to please family, friends and society can pull you far from who you really are. This episode gives you practical mindset tools and journal prompts to reconnect with your true self.

Top takeaways:
What your authentic self is: knowing your values, morals and what you actually want, and why it keeps evolving
The freedom test: a simple exercise that shows whether you’re living on your own terms
Self-conflict vs self-inconsistency: why abandoning yourself to please others destroys fulfilment
Self-discrepancy theory: your actual self, ideal self and “ought” self, and how the gap between them creates anxiety
Real vs false responsibilities: how to stop carrying other people’s expectations
The research: how authenticity is linked to resilience, trauma recovery, self-esteem and lower stress, anxiety and depression
Your job is not your identity: why you don’t need to find your passion in your career
Signs of an authentic person: no comparison, no competing for validation, and being able to laugh at mistakes
Journal prompts: questions to audit where you’re people-pleasing, fitting in or being inconsistent
Dealing with judgement: how to respond when people comment on the new you
See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.