The Psychology of Relationships

Sometimes the things we do to protect ourselves from getting hurt are the very things that create distance in our relationships. Julie & Yue are joined by psychologist and relationship researcher Dr. Raquel Peel to explore why we sometimes sabotage healthy relationships, from pulling away when things get serious to criticizing, becoming defensive, or shutting down when we feel vulnerable. Together, they unpack the Four Horsemen and how greater self-awareness can help us respond differently before protective patterns become relationship-ending habits.
In this episode, you’ll learn:
Why we sometimes sabotage relationships that are actually healthy
How fear and self-protection can create relationship problems
What the Four Horsemen reveal about relationship conflict
How to recognize your own self-sabotaging patterns
Ways to respond with more vulnerability and intention

To learn more about Dr. Raquel Peel, visit https://www.raquelpeel.com

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Most people enter relationships without ever being taught the skills needed to sustain one. Communication, conflict, intimacy, and emotional responsibility are often learned through trial and error instead of intention. Dr. Alexandra Solomon—licensed therapist, professor at Northwestern University, and author of Loving Bravely and Taking Sexy Back—joins Julie & Yue to explore the lessons behind her popular course Marriage 101. Rather than focusing on finding “the one,” her work centers on becoming “the one” through self-awareness, emotional growth, and relational skill-building.
In this episode, you’ll learn:
Why self-awareness is essential for healthy relationships
How family history shapes the way we love
Why conflict is something to work through, not avoid
The role emotional and sexual intimacy play in long-term love
What differentiation means and why it matters in relationships

To learn more about Dr. Alexandra Solomon, follow her @dralexandrasolomon and visit dralexandrasolomon.com

Want to feel more connected to your partner? Download Brick and get 10% off at https://www.getbrick.app/PORSHOW

Our Sponsors:
* Omaha Steaks: Try the Burger Perfection Flight at OmahaSteaks.com today. That’s 20 premium steak burgers for just $79.99. Plus, get $35 off with promo code BEEF.
* Quince: Download the Quince App for app-exclusive offers and get free shipping and 365 day returns at https://quince.com/por
* Talkiatry: Complete the short assessment and get matched with an in-network psychiatrist in just a few minutes at talkiatry.com/por
* The Dare: Go get the book wherever books are sold or through https://www.kensingtonbooks.com

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What if healthy relationships require more than simply falling in love? Many traditional relationship models teach couples to merge into one shared identity, but that approach can sometimes weaken connection instead of strengthening it. Dr. Sara Nasserzadeh, social psychologist and author of Love by Design, joins Julie & Yue to introduce the Emergent Love Model—a more intentional framework for lasting partnership. She explains why thriving relationships allow both people to continue evolving individually while building a meaningful life together.
In this episode, you’ll learn:
The difference between emergent and submergent relationships
Why “becoming one” can sometimes weaken connection
The six ingredients that support lasting love
How intentional partnership differs from passive expectation
Ways to approach relationships with more clarity and design

To learn more about Dr. Sara Nasserzadeh, follow her @dr.saranasserzadeh and visit https://www.sara-nasserzadeh.com/

Want to feel more connected to your partner? Download Brick and get 10% off at https://www.getbrick.app/PORSHOW

Our Sponsors:
* Omaha Steaks: Try the Burger Perfection Flight at OmahaSteaks.com today. That’s 20 premium steak burgers for just $79.99. Plus, get $35 off with promo code BEEF.
* Quince: Download the Quince App for app-exclusive offers and get free shipping and 365 day returns at https://quince.com/por
* Talkiatry: Complete the short assessment and get matched with an in-network psychiatrist in just a few minutes at talkiatry.com/por
* The Dare: Go get the book wherever books are sold or through https://www.kensingtonbooks.com

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Sex is one of the most important parts of a relationship—and one of the hardest topics for couples to talk about openly. Vanessa Marin, licensed psychotherapist and author of Sex Talks, joins Julie & Yue alongside her husband and collaborator Xander Marin to unpack why conversations around intimacy often feel so uncomfortable, and how avoidance can quietly create distance in relationships. Together, they explore how communication, emotional safety, and vulnerability shape intimacy far beyond the physical side of sex.
In this episode, you’ll learn:
Why so many couples struggle to talk about sex openly
How avoidance impacts intimacy and emotional connection
Ways to communicate needs without shame or pressure
Why emotional safety is essential for a healthy sex life
How better conversations can strengthen intimacy overall

To learn more about Vanessa and Xander Marin, follow them @vanessaandxander and visit vmtherapy.com.

Want to feel more connected to your partner? Download Brick and get 10% off at https://www.getbrick.app/PORSHOW

Our Sponsors:
* Omaha Steaks: Try the Burger Perfection Flight at OmahaSteaks.com today. That’s 20 premium steak burgers for just $79.99. Plus, get $35 off with promo code BEEF.
* Quince: Download the Quince App for app-exclusive offers and get free shipping and 365 day returns at https://quince.com/por
* Talkiatry: Complete the short assessment and get matched with an in-network psychiatrist in just a few minutes at talkiatry.com/por
* The Dare: Go get the book wherever books are sold or through https://www.kensingtonbooks.com

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After enough painful relationships, many people start asking the same question: why do I keep ending up here? Pharaoh Kyle, spiritual coach and entrepreneur, joins Julie & Yue to explore how toxic relationship patterns form, why people ignore red flags, and what it takes to break unhealthy cycles. He shares how emotional wounds and lost self-trust can keep people stuck in dynamics that no longer serve them—and how healing those patterns can lead to healthier, more aligned relationships moving forward.
In this episode, you’ll learn:
The common signs of toxic relationship patterns
Why people ignore red flags and stay stuck
How to rebuild trust in yourself after unhealthy relationships
What keeps old relational cycles repeating
Tools for healing and choosing healthier connections moving forward

To learn more about Pharaoh Kyle, follow him @pharaohkyle and visit pharaohkyle.com

Want to feel more connected to your partner? Download Brick and get 10% off at https://www.getbrick.app/PORSHOW

Our Sponsors:
* Omaha Steaks: Try the Burger Perfection Flight at OmahaSteaks.com today. That’s 20 premium steak burgers for just $79.99. Plus, get $35 off with promo code BEEF.
* Quince: Download the Quince App for app-exclusive offers and get free shipping and 365 day returns at https://quince.com/por
* Talkiatry: Complete the short assessment and get matched with an in-network psychiatrist in just a few minutes at talkiatry.com/por
* The Dare: Go get the book wherever books are sold or through https://www.kensingtonbooks.com

Advertising Inquiries: https://redcircle.com/brands

Privacy & Opt-Out: https://redcircle.com/privacy