Securely Attached

In this deep dive episode, I explore how secure attachment evolves across development and what children are really needing from us emotionally at each stage of childhood and adolescence. Using Erik Erikson's stages of psychosocial development as a framework, we look at the core emotional tasks kids are navigating from infancy through young adulthood, and how our role as parents shifts alongside them.
 
Together, we explore:
 
- What secure attachment looks like at different developmental stages.
- How to stay connected to your child as their needs evolve over time.
- Why toddlers push for independence and what they need from us in those moments.
- How play, boredom, and curiosity support emotional development in early childhood
- Why school-age kids become more focused on achievement, perfectionism, and peer comparison.
- How social media can intensify insecurity during key developmental windows.
- Why adolescence can suddenly feel so emotionally intense and unpredictable.
- How to stay a secure base for your teen without escalating power struggles.
- What today's loneliness epidemic can teach us about raising emotionally connected kids.
- Why repair matters more than perfection in secure relationships.
- How understanding your child's developmental task can completely shift the way you respond to behavior.
 
This episode is ultimately about learning to zoom out. Not to parent each stage perfectly, but to better understand what your child is actually working through underneath the behaviors, emotions, and developmental shifts that can sometimes leave us feeling confused or disconnected. Because when we understand the developmental needs driving our child's behavior, we can respond with more clarity, compassion, and connection.
 
 
LEARN MORE ABOUT ME:
🔗 Dr. Sarah Bren 
🔗 Check out my group practice, Upshur Bren Psychology Group, offering therapy and coaching for individuals, children, parents, and families 
📱IG: @drsarahbren
 
 
CHECK OUT ADDITIONAL PODCAST EPISODES YOU MAY LIKE:
 
🎧 02. Attachment Theory and Fostering Secure Attachment Relationships
 
🎧 102. Breaking the cycle of insecure attachment: How to support your child's secure attachment even if you didn't grow up with it, with Dr. Miriam Steele
 
🎧 103. Secure attachment vs. social media: Navigating their effects on body image from early childhood to teen years with Dr. Miriam Steele
 
🎧 76. Secure attachment is optimal, but insecure attachment may not be as bad as we think: A conversation with attachment researcher Dr. Or Dagan
 
🎧 139. BTS: Can my kid be securely attached to me if I'm insecurely attached in my adult relationships?

Beyond the Sessions is answering YOUR parenting questions! In this episode, Dr. Emily Upshur and I talk about...
 
- Whether co-sleeping is actually a problem, or simply a parenting choice that works for some families.
- How to tell the difference between connection-based co-sleeping and anxiety-driven sleep struggles.
- Why independent sleep is a skill that develops over time through practice, not pressure.
- How to support your child's growing independence without making them feel rejected.
- What it can look like when children naturally begin transitioning out of their parents' bed on their own.
- How to approach sleep transitions gently if co-sleeping stops working for your family.
- Why there is no one "right" way to handle sleep arrangements, and how to focus on what works best for your child, your relationship, and your family as a whole.
- The importance of safe co-sleeping practices and understanding how to co-sleep safely with young children.
 
This episode will help you feel more confident navigating co-sleeping, independent sleep, and nighttime connection in a way that feels aligned with your family's needs, values, and stage of life.
 
 
REFERENCES AND RELATED RESOURCES:
 
👉 Stay up to date on the latest podcast episode, tips and tricks, and parenting resources by joining my newsletter. Go to drsarahbren.com, scroll down to the bottom of the page and click "Join my community" to get weekly emails from me.
 
🎧 Tune into the original question that this episode is a follow up to: Is letting my anxious child sleep in my bed helping or making their anxiety worse?
 
🔗American Academy of Pediatrics: Safe Sleep
 
👉 Want extra support in your parenting journey? Upshur Bren Psychology Group offers therapy and coaching to give parents the tools to feel more grounded and confident as they navigate parenthood and learn how to most effectively support their child. Visit upshurbren.com to explore our services and schedule a free 30-minute consultation call to find the support that's right for your family.
 
 
CHECK OUT ADDITIONAL PODCAST EPISODES YOU MAY LIKE:
 
🎧 Listen to my podcast episode with practical solutions for getting your child to stay in their own bed with Eileen Henry
 
🎧 Listen to my podcast episode about Why toddler sleep is different than infant sleep and how to use the attachment relationship to help them fall asleep with Eileen Henry
 
🎧 Listen to my podcast episode about how to modify traditional sleep strategies for neurodiverse brains with Dr. Funke Afolabi-Brown
 
 
WE WANT TO HEAR FROM YOU:
 
Go to https://drsarahbren.com/question to send us a question or a topic you want to hear us answer on Securely Attached - Beyond the Sessions!

Beyond the Sessions is answering YOUR parenting questions! In this episode, Dr. Emily Upshur and I talk about...
 
- Why it's important to tell your child that they are starting therapy (and why many parents avoid it).
- How to explain therapy in simple, developmentally appropriate language your child will actually understand.
- Why using your child's own words for their struggles, like "worry" or "big feelings," matters.
- What to call a therapist and how to describe what they do in a way that makes sense to kids.
- What to do if your child asks, "Is something wrong with me?"
- Why getting your child's buy-in matters and how to help them feel invested.
- How to frame therapy as something the whole family is working on together.
 
This episode will help you feel more confident in how to approach this conversation, reduce anxiety around starting therapy, and support your child in a way that builds trust, openness, and emotional resilience.
 
 
REFERENCES AND RELATED RESOURCES:
 
📚 Want to learn more about talking to your child about going to therapy? Read Upshur Bren Psychology Group's blog article: How to Tell Your Child You're Taking Them to Therapy: A Compassionate, Practical Guide for Parents
 
👉 Want extra support in your parenting journey? Upshur Bren Psychology Group offers therapy and coaching to give parents the tools to feel more grounded and confident as they navigate parenthood and learn how to most effectively support their child. Visit upshurbren.com to explore our services and schedule a free 30-minute consultation call to find the support that's right for your family.
 
 
CHECK OUT ADDITIONAL PODCAST EPISODES YOU MAY LIKE:
 
🎧 Listen to my podcast episode about how to know if your child is too young for therapy
 
🎧 Listen to my podcast episode about how to know if group therapy would be a good fit for your child
 
 
WE WANT TO HEAR FROM YOU:
 
Go to https://drsarahbren.com/question to send us a question or a topic you want to hear us answer on Securely Attached - Beyond the Sessions!

Beyond the Sessions is answering YOUR parenting questions! In this episode, Dr. Rebecca Hershberg, Dr. Emily Upshur, and I talk about...
 
What the research actually says about attachment and why one strong, secure relationship is enough for healthy development.
Why your child asking for the other parent may actually be a sign of a secure attachment, not a problem.
How toddler development (around age 2) shapes their awareness of family structure and separation.
How to talk about an absent parent in a way that is simple, neutral, and developmentally appropriate.
The importance of naming and validating your child's feelings, like sadness, curiosity, or confusion.
How your own emotional responses can influence how often your child brings this topic up.
Why these questions often show up at bedtime and how to respond while still holding bedtime boundaries.
 
This episode will help you feel more grounded and reassured in your role as a parent, and more confident in how to support your child through big feelings, hard questions, and family differences in a way that strengthens your connection.
 
 
REFERENCES AND RELATED RESOURCES:
 
👉 Want extra support in your parenting journey? Upshur Bren Psychology Group offers in-person and virtual therapy and coaching to give parents the tools to feel more grounded and confident as they navigate parenthood and learn how to most effectively support their child. Visit upshurbren.com to explore our services and schedule a free 30-minute consultation call to find the support that's right for your family.
 
 
CHECK OUT ADDITIONAL PODCAST EPISODES YOU MAY LIKE:
 
🎧 Listen to my podcast episode about fostering secure attachment
 
🎧 Listen to my podcast episode about how to support children experiencing abandonment or separation from a parent
 
 
WE WANT TO HEAR FROM YOU:
 
Go to https://drsarahbren.com/question to send us a question or a topic you want to hear us answer on Securely Attached - Beyond the Sessions!

Rachel Melvald joins the podcast to explore a powerful but often overlooked influence on our children's behavior, mood, and regulation: the spaces they live in. Drawing from her work in Neurodesign, this conversation looks at how our home environment shapes the nervous system and impacts how both kids and parents feel and function.
 
Together, we explore:
 
How clutter and visual overwhelm increase cognitive load and dysregulation in kids (and adults).
Why fewer toys can actually support more focused, creative, and independent play.
How predictable, organized spaces help children feel safer and more regulated.
The role of sensory input, like lighting, color, texture, and movement, in shaping behavior and mood.
Why natural elements are so powerful for calming the nervous system.
How to think about different spaces in your home and the function you want them to serve.
Simple, practical changes that can have an immediate impact on how your home feels.
How design can support not just individual regulation, but connection, boundaries, and family relationships.
 
This conversation offers a new lens on parenting, one that goes beyond behavior strategies and focuses on the environment itself. It's about creating spaces that support regulation, connection, and well-being for the whole family.
 
 
LEARN MORE ABOUT MY GUEST:
🔗https://www.psychitecture.com/ 
📚NEURODESIGN: The Art and Science of Harmonious Living 
📱@rachelmelvald 
 
LEARN MORE ABOUT ME:
🔗 Dr. Sarah Bren 
🔗 Check out my group practice, Upshur Bren Psychology Group, offering therapy and coaching for individuals, children, parents, and families 
📱IG: @drsarahbren
 
ADDITIONAL REFERENCES AND RESOURCES:
🔗Pikler Triangle 
🔗 Toddler Trampoline
 
 
CHECK OUT ADDITIONAL PODCAST EPISODES YOU MAY LIKE:
🎧 Listen to my podcast episode about finding balance in the home, at work, and in parenthood with Chelsi Jo
 
🎧 Listen to my podcast episode about how you can teach your toddler to clean up their toys without power struggles?
 
🎧 Listen to my podcast episode about buying less and living sustainably with The New York Stylist, Liz Teich