Relationship Advice

When someone says, “I think my partner is a narcissist,” they’re usually not chasing a diagnosis—they’re trying to make sense of a relationship that feels controlling, confusing, and painful. This episode slows it way down and compares narcissism with insecure attachment patterns (pursuer/withdrawer) and neurodivergence, since the impact can look similar even when the why is totally different. The big differentiator they keep coming back to is flexibility: is there willingness to reflect, learn, repair, and change—even if slowly?

Main talking points


Impact over labels


Spectrum, not binary


Rigidity vs flexibility


Withdrawer mislabels


Neurodivergent overlap


Curiosity “experiments”

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⁠Cozy Earth⁠⁠ -  Black Friday has come early! Right now, you can stack my code “IDO” on top of their sitewide sale — giving you up to 40% off in savings. These deals won’t last, so start your holiday shopping today!

⁠⁠Beducate⁠⁠ - Use code relationship69 for 65% off the annual pass.

⁠⁠AG1 - ⁠⁠AG1 has become my go to every morning.

⁠⁠Simple Practice⁠⁠ - If you're in mental health and not using simple practice then what are you doing???

⁠⁠Spark My Relationship Course:⁠⁠ Get $100 off our online course. Visit⁠⁠ SparkMyRelationship.com/Unlock⁠⁠ for our special offer just for our I Do Podcast listeners!

⁠⁠Skylight⁠⁠⁠ - Use code “IDO” for $30 off your 15 inch calendar. 

If you love this episode (and our podcast!), would you mind giving us a⁠ review in iTunes⁠? It would mean the world to us and we promise it only takes a minute. Many thanks in advance! – Colter, Cayla, & Lauren
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Couples Values Construction for 2026⁠⁠

Here you can find some more instruction on how to construct your values as a couple as well as the values list.

⁠⁠Get $100 off Spark My Relationship⁠⁠

14 hours of relationship content
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There’s been a wave of major U.S. events stirring up big emotions, and this episode stays out of political commentary to focus on how people psychologically respond—in themselves, in relationships, and online. In this episode, Colter, Cayla, and Lauren unpack how nervous-system activation, bias, privilege/positionality, and “defensive attribution” can shape what we believe, how safe we feel, and how we treat people who respond differently. They also walk through 10 common “archetypes” of coping with national unrest and offer a relational path forward: get curious, find safe places to process, and move from reactivity into values-based action.

Main Talking Points


Nervous system activation


Bias + “tribes”


Defensive attribution


Privilege + proximity


10 coping archetypes


Curiosity over combat

Give Me Discounts!

Check out Relationship Academy! ⁠

⁠Cozy Earth⁠⁠ -  Black Friday has come early! Right now, you can stack my code “IDO” on top of their sitewide sale — giving you up to 40% off in savings. These deals won’t last, so start your holiday shopping today!

⁠⁠Beducate⁠⁠ - Use code relationship69 for 65% off the annual pass.

⁠⁠AG1 - ⁠⁠AG1 has become my go to every morning.

⁠⁠Simple Practice⁠⁠ - If you're in mental health and not using simple practice then what are you doing???

⁠⁠Spark My Relationship Course:⁠⁠ Get $100 off our online course. Visit⁠⁠ SparkMyRelationship.com/Unlock⁠⁠ for our special offer just for our I Do Podcast listeners!

⁠⁠Skylight⁠⁠⁠ - Use code “IDO” for $30 off your 15 inch calendar. 

If you love this episode (and our podcast!), would you mind giving us a⁠ review in iTunes⁠? It would mean the world to us and we promise it only takes a minute. Many thanks in advance! – Colter, Cayla, & Lauren
Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Couples Values Construction for 2026⁠⁠

Here you can find some more instruction on how to construct your values as a couple as well as the values list.

⁠⁠Get $100 off Spark My Relationship⁠⁠

14 hours of relationship content
Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Negotiation isn’t a “business skill” — it’s an everyday relationship skill. Today we sit down TED Talk speaker, best-selling author, and podcast host of Negotiate Anything, Kwame Christian. He is recognized as one of the world's top negotiation experts, and he got good at it by treating tough conversations like a learnable muscle (not a personality trait). 

He breaks great negotiation down into three core skills—listening, curiosity, and emotion management—and offers a flexible framework (“compassionate curiosity”) that keeps things collaborative instead of combative. The big shift: do the internal work first (name your feelings, get clear on what you want), then enter the conversation ready to validate, get curious, and problem-solve—without handing your well-being to the other person.


Skill, not talent


Everyday negotiations


Unlearn Hollywood


Self-awareness first


3 core skills


Compassionate curiosity

Give Me Discounts!

Check out Relationship Academy! ⁠

⁠Cozy Earth⁠⁠ -  Black Friday has come early! Right now, you can stack my code “IDO” on top of their sitewide sale — giving you up to 40% off in savings. These deals won’t last, so start your holiday shopping today!

⁠⁠Beducate⁠⁠ - Use code relationship69 for 65% off the annual pass.

⁠⁠AG1 - ⁠⁠AG1 has become my go to every morning.

⁠⁠Simple Practice⁠⁠ - If you're in mental health and not using simple practice then what are you doing???

⁠⁠Spark My Relationship Course:⁠⁠ Get $100 off our online course. Visit⁠⁠ SparkMyRelationship.com/Unlock⁠⁠ for our special offer just for our I Do Podcast listeners!

⁠⁠Skylight⁠⁠⁠ - Use code “IDO” for $30 off your 15 inch calendar. 

If you love this episode (and our podcast!), would you mind giving us a⁠ review in iTunes⁠? It would mean the world to us and we promise it only takes a minute. Many thanks in advance! – Colter, Cayla, & Lauren
Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices