Did you know? Sex isn't just physical. It is deeply connected to your nervous system, trauma history, body image, and sense of safety. In this episode of The Wellness Effect, we explore how intimacy can actually become a space for healing when it's rooted in trust and regulation.
Today we're joined by Ivana Kolakovic, a registered Sex & Relationships Therapist from Kat Kova Therapy specializing in sex and relationship therapy. We dive into how trauma lives in the body, why shame blocks sexual desire, and the difference between spontaneous and responsive desire. We talk about brakes and accelerators in intimacy, body image struggles, hormonal shifts, parenting transitions, and how couples can rebuild connection through nervous system safety. This conversation is nuanced, compassionate, and deeply practical; especially if you've ever wondered, "What's wrong with me?" when it comes to sex or intimacy.
What You'll Learn:
In this episode, we discuss:
What somatic therapy actually means (and how it differs from talk therapy)
How trauma gets stored in the nervous system
Why safety is the foundation of pleasurable sex
Accelerators vs. brakes in sexual desire
Why relationships are powerful tools for nervous system regulation
Chapters:
01:21 - Meet Ivana + what somatic therapy means
06:44 - Talk therapy vs. somatic work
08:49 - Why sex can be a space for healing
10:05 - Low desire, shame & sexual disconnection
18:22 - Safety, ventral state & healing through intimacy
25:00 - Parenting, burnout & libido changes
29:33 - Responsive vs. spontaneous desire
33:04 - Accelerators and brakes explained
40:00 - Body image, shame & self-acceptance
48:31 -Trauma responses in intimacy
53:49 - Open relationships: when they work (and when they don't)
Connect with Kat Kova Therapy:
Website: https://katkovatherapy.com/
Email:
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