Dysregulated Kids: Science-Backed Parenting Help for Behavior, Anxiety, ADHD and More

377 episodes

The Disrespect Epidemic: Why Kids Are Ruder Than Ever and What to Do | Regulation-First Parenting | E375
2026/1/21 | 18 mins.
Kids today seem sharper, quicker to snap, and harder to parent—and it’s leaving many families exhausted. In this episode, we explore The Disrespect Epidemic: Why Kids Are Ruder Than Ever and What to Do with Dr. Roseann Capanna-Hodge, founder of Regulation First Parenting™, who reveals how emotional dysregulation—not bad parenting—drives today’s behaviors and how calming the brain restores respect.
If you feel like your child’s eye rolling, snapping, or sharp tone has gotten worse, you’re not imagining it—and you’re not failing. Many parents are quietly wondering why parenting feels harder than ever, even when they’re doing all the “right” things.
In this episode, we unpack why kids are ruder than ever and what to do, revealing why disrespectful behavior has skyrocketed and why it’s really a sign of nervous system overload—not bad manners. You’ll learn what’s driving today’s explosive reactions and how calming the brain first can restore connection, respect, and peace at home.
Why does my child seem so rude and disrespectful lately?
Many parents worry their child’s disrespectful behavior means bad manners or poor values. But it’s not disrespect—it’s dysregulation.
Children today are overstimulated, under-rested, and under constant pressure. When the nervous system is overwhelmed, skills like empathy, patience, and respectful tone go offline.
What looks like rude behavior is really a stress response. Kids don’t wake up wanting to talk back or roll their eyes—their brains are stuck in survival mode.
Takeaways:
Behavior is communication, not defiance
Overloaded brains lose access to self-control
Your child isn’t bad—their nervous system is struggling

Example: A 12-year-old snaps “Leave me alone!” when asked about homework. It’s not attitude—it’s emotional overload.
Are kids today really ruder than past generations?
Children today aren’t worse—they’re more dysregulated. Screens, constant noise, fast schedules, and emotional burnout leave little recovery time. Many young people hold it together at school, then explode at home where they feel safest.
This is why disrespectful kids often save their worst behavior for parents and family members.
Takeaways:
Kids crash at home after holding it together all day
Hyper-stimulation shortens frustration tolerance
Losing problem-solving skills makes everything feel like a threat

🗣️ “Kids don’t want to be disrespectful. It becomes the only thing their brain can do when they’re overloaded.” — Dr. Roseann
Why doesn’t my child listen or respond respectfully in the moment?
When a child’s nervous system is in fight, flight, or freeze, the prefrontal cortex—the brain’s job manager—goes offline. You can’t reason, lecture, or punish your way through dysregulation.
Matching their intensity only fuels a power struggle.
What helps instead:
Soft tone + calm...
Is Over-Scheduling Hurting Your Child’s Nervous System? | Emotional Dysregulation | E374
2026/1/19 | 12 mins.
Is your child melting down despite a full schedule? Is over-scheduling hurting your child's nervous system? This episode reveals how too much activity dysregulates kids—and how less can bring calm. Dr. Roseann Capanna-Hodge, founder of Regulation First Parenting™, shows why calming the brain restores balance.
If you’ve ever wondered why your child melts down after activities you thought were helping—or why home feels like the emotional fallout zone—you’re not alone.
In this episode, I unpack how over scheduling can quietly overwhelm a child’s nervous system, why even “good” activities can backfire, and what actually helps kids find calm, focus, and emotional balance again.
Is over scheduling hurting your child's nervous system—even with activities they love?
Many parents sign kids up with good intentions: sports, music lessons, enrichment activities. But more isn’t always better. When children go from school to after school activities to homework to bed, their nervous system never gets a break.
Key takeaways:
Transitions drain neurological energy
Even fun can be overstimulating
A constantly “on” brain can’t reset

Real-life example: A child thrives at elementary school and extracurricular activities—but explodes over socks at home. That’s not bad behavior. It’s cumulative stress.
Why does my child behave at school but fall apart at home?
This is one of the biggest clues of a child overscheduled. Home is the safe place where the nervous system finally crashes. When kids hold it together all day, the stress has to come out somewhere.
Watch for signs like:
Tears, irritability, shutdowns
Resistance to simple tasks
Physical symptoms like headaches or stomach aches

🗣️ “When kids fall apart at home but are phenomenal at school, it’s a classic sign of nervous system overload.” — Dr. Roseann
It’s not bad parenting—it’s a dysregulated brain.
Can structured activities and enrichment harm mental health?
Yes—when there’s no balance. Research shows chronic stress elevates cortisol, overloads the prefrontal cortex, and negatively impacts emotional well being, sleep, and a child’s cognitive ability.
Too many scheduled activities can lead to:
Higher anxiety and stress levels
Trouble sleeping or sacrificing sleep
Mood swings and emotional fragility

This is especially true for kids with ADHD, anxiety, OCD, PANS/PANDAS, or other mental health challenges—but all children need downtime.
If your child’s nervous system runs “hot,” tools like Quick CALM can help bring fast regulation support into daily life. Learn more at https://drroseann.com/quickcalm/.
How do I know if my child is overscheduled?
One activity alone isn’t the problem—it’s...
The #1 Reason Your Kid Doesn’t Listen (It’s Not What You Think) | Emotional Dysregulation | E373
2026/1/14 | 13 mins.
The #1 reason your kid doesn’t listen isn’t defiance or attitude—it’s brain state. This episode reveals why listening shuts down during dysregulation and how calming the nervous system restores connection, guided by Dr. Roseann Capanna-Hodge, founder of Regulation First Parenting™ and expert in childhood emotional dysregulation.
When parents understand the reason your kid doesn’t listen, everything shifts. This episode breaks down how nervous system dysregulation—not attitude—impacts how kids listen, especially during transitions, and shows parents how calming the brain first restores connection and cooperation.
Why does my child ignore me when I know they understand?
This is such a big deal for many parents. Your child may be perfectly capable of understanding your words—and still not process them because their child's actual developmental reality doesn’t always match what we’re expecting in that moment.
Listening isn’t a skill; it’s a brain state. When kids are dysregulated, the brain deprioritizes language, which can deeply strain the parent child relationship if we don’t understand what’s really happening.
It’s not “they won’t,” it’s “they can’t—right now.” That’s why my work is about helping teach parents to stop personalizing behavior and start responding to the nervous system instead.
Behavior is communication, and a child who ignores you is often overwhelmed or under-stimulated—which is why regulation always comes before cooperation. This is where practical tips rooted in brain science make all the difference.
Takeaways:
Dysregulation shuts down auditory processing
Overstimulated brains feel noisy and reactive
Understimulated brains feel flat and checked out

Real life Scenario: A parent asks a child to wear shoes, stop playing, grab their school bag—nothing. The child isn’t defiant. Their nervous system is louder than your voice.
Is my child being disrespectful or oppositional?
Many parents worry about oppositional defiant disorder or long-term disrespect. But compliance connotes coercion, and real listening comes from connection—not control, especially when we understand how children emotionally experience stress and authority.
When children feel emotionally safe, their willingness to cooperate rises, and children follow rules more naturally. That’s how civil society operates—through regulation and relationships that children facilitate autonomy, not fear.
What helps:
Stop assuming attitude
Avoid yelling (voice carrying escalates stress)
Offer gentle guidance instead of pathetic commands carried by frustration

It’s not bad parenting—it’s a dysregulated brain.
Want to stay calm when your child pushes every button?
Become a Dysregulation Insider VIP and get the FREE Regulation Rescue Kit—your step-by-step guide to stop oppositional behaviors without yelling or giving in.
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The Executive Function Trap: When Smart Kids Can’t Start | Emotional Dysregulation | E372
2026/1/12 | 14 mins.
Why can smart kids explain everything yet can’t get started? The Executive Function Trap reveals how dysregulated brains block task initiation. Dr. Roseann Capanna-Hodge, creator of Regulation First Parenting™, helps parents calm the brain and restore executive skills.
Ever watched your smart child know everything about black holes—but freeze at putting on their shoes or starting homework? It’s frustrating, confusing, and can feel impossible to fix. You’re not imagining it—and it’s not laziness. There’s a real reason bright kids struggle with starting and finishing tasks: executive function challenges.
In this episode, we unpack why executive function deficits often masquerade as disobedience, defiance, or lack of motivation. You’ll learn what these core executive function skills are, why task initiation often fails in dysregulated brains, and practical, science-backed strategies to support your child’s success in school and everyday life.
Why does my child freeze even when they’re so smart?
Smart kids often know the content—they just can’t see the path from start to finish. Their prefrontal cortex struggles with task initiation and planning ahead, creating what I call the executive function trap.
Visualize the end goal: Help your child picture the completed task.
Break tasks into small, concrete steps: 3–5 micro-steps instead of overwhelming lists.
Use movement and gestures: Activate visual and motor pathways to strengthen memory and planning.

Real-Life Example
Milo could explain black holes in depth but couldn’t start homework. Once we taught him to see the finished project and work backward, he could initiate tasks without panic.
How can I teach executive function skills at home?
Executive function isn’t fixed—these key skills can be developed over time with consistent practice. Think of it like learning to cook a new recipe: you visualize the final dish, then reverse engineer the steps.
Scaffold the first steps without creating dependence.
Encourage cognitive flexibility and impulse control by offering choices within structured limits.
Use visual schedules, sticky notes, or body doubling to support working memory.

Parent Tip: Cue the nervous system to regulate first—if your child is dysregulated, no executive function strategy will stick.
Try Quick CALM for a quick regulation reset before tackling tasks.
What’s the first executive function skill to address?
The single most impactful skill is task initiation. Without the ability to start, even the most intelligent child can feel paralyzed. By teaching children to:
Imagine the end result
Work backward through the steps
You’ve Tried Everything… Here’s Why Your Child Still Struggles | Emotional Dysregulation | E371
2026/1/07 | 14 mins.
If you’re exhausted and wondering Why Your Child Still Struggles despite trying everything, this episode explains what’s really going on. Dr. Roseann Capanna-Hodge, founder of Regulation First Parenting™, reveals how nervous system dysregulation—not parenting failure—blocks real change.
If you’re exhausted from trying therapy, medication, behavior charts, or every tip the internet throws at you, you’re not alone. So many parents reach out after years of effort, still confused about their child’s behavior and why change never seems to stick.
Today, I’m breaking down what’s actually happening inside a dysregulated brain—because this isn’t about willpower, effort, or “trying harder.” It’s about calming the nervous system first so kids can learn, grow, and handle difficult emotions in healthier ways.
Why does my child still struggle even after therapy, meds, and behavior charts?
If you feel like you’ve done “all the things” and nothing sticks, you’re not alone.
Most parents are given strategies that target symptoms instead of calming the nervous system first. And when a child’s brain is stuck in survival mode, problem solving skills, self regulation, cooperation, frustration tolerance, and even basic listening become neurologically impossible.
Megan’s story says it all. After years of OT, speech, CBT, and multiple meds, her son Jack still couldn’t transition, follow directions, manage anxiety, or regulate emotions. She felt defeated — but the real problem wasn’t effort… it was sequence.
Key Takeaways:
Behavior is communication, not defiance.
A dysregulated nervous system pulls the prefrontal cortex offline.
You can’t teach children skills during dysregulation.
It’s not bad parenting — it’s a dysregulated brain.

Many kids struggle not because they’re unmotivated, but because their brain is overwhelmed.
At school, with friends, or during transitions, your child may be struggling to manage frustration, think clearly, or solve problems—so lectures and consequences often bounce right off.
🗣️ “You haven’t tried everything — you’ve just been shown what to try first in the wrong order.” — Dr. Roseann
Why does my child fall apart even though they’re smart and capable?
Smart kids can still get stuck in fight, flight, or freeze. When the limbic system takes over, language, frustration tolerance, and cooperation shut down—this is why children struggle, even when a child who “knows better” suddenly can’t listen, transition, or self-regulate.
Look for clues:
Sudden irritability
Avoidance
“I won’t” moments that are truly “I can’t”
Micro-signs of dysregulation before the meltdown

Parent tip: Start observing your child like a detective — the little signals matter.
If you’re tired of walking on eggshells or feeling like nothing works…
Get the FREE Regulation Rescue Kit and finally learn what to say and do...

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About Dysregulated Kids: Science-Backed Parenting Help for Behavior, Anxiety, ADHD and More

Are you tired of the daily battles, the problems with listening and focus, meltdowns over minor frustrations, and the constant feeling of walking on eggshells in your own home? If you're a parent who feels overwhelmed, stuck in a cycle of reactivity, and utterly exhausted from trying to manage your child's challenging behaviors, you are not alone. You've tried everything—the sticker charts, the timeouts, the endless negotiations—but nothing creates lasting change. The answer isn't more discipline. The secret is understanding the brain. Welcome to Dysregulated Kids: Science-Backed Parenting Help, the podcast that is revolutionizing the way we parent. Hosted by Dr. Roseann Capanna-Hodge, a licensed therapist, school psychologist and author with over 30 years of experience in children's mental health and recognized by Forbes as a thought leader in children's mental health, this podcast is your lifeline. Dr. Roseann pulls back the curtain on why your child or teen is struggling, whether they have a clinical diagnosis like ADHD, Anxiety, Autism, OCD, Depression, Dyslexia, Executive Functioning challenges, Lyme, or PANS/PANDAS, or are simply navigating the ups and downs of everyday life.Her revolutionary Regulation First Parenting™ approach teaches that calming the nervous system is the first step before you can connect, teach, or help your child learn. In short, actionable episodes, Dr. Roseann gives you proven tools like the CALMS Protocol™, quick nervous system reset tools and co-regulation strategies to move your child (and yourself!) from stress and reactivity to calm, connection, and resilience. You'll learn what to say and do to de-escalate meltdowns in the moment, how to build your child's emotional regulation skills, and how to improve their executive functioning and attention so they can succeed at home, at school, and in life. Imagine shifting your entire perspective from seeing "defiance" to understanding "dysregulation." Picture yourself feeling confident and equipped, knowing exactly how to respond in those tough parenting moments. This is the transformation that awaits you. Parents discover how to break free from the reactivity cycle and build a more connected, joyful family—going from helpless and frustrated to empowered and hopeful. Here's what you can expect from Dysregulated Kids: Real Solutions for Real Problems – Whether you're dealing with ADHD, anxiety, sensory overload, meltdowns, or everyday struggles, Dr. Roseann brings strategies that actually work. Science-Backed Parenting Tools – Learn how to understand your child's nervous system and apply research-driven calming strategies to create a peaceful, happy home. Practical Advice You Can Use Today – Each episode delivers focused, actionable content without the fluff—just pure wisdom you can apply to your family right away. Empowerment and Hope – Dr. Roseann blends expert knowledge with deep empathy for the challenges parents face, helping you feel confident that you can make positive change. This podcast is for parents of the "reactive" kid or the child who feels more, reacts to little things more, and just needs more from you. It's for parents of neurodivergent children or kids struggling with mental health challenges. Really this show is for all parents dealing with typical stressors who want to raise emotionally intelligent, resilient kids in a world that is more demanding and chaotic than ever. If you've seen Dr. Roseann on TV, you know she doesn't shy away from real talk about real problems. She brings that same authenticity and expertise to every episode, combining hope with science to help you calm the brain and create a happier family. Are you ready to stop just surviving and start thriving? Subscribe now and start your journey toward a calmer brain and a happier family today. For more resources, show notes, and to connect with Dr. Roseann, visit drroseann.com.

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