Good Grief

• Encore: Let Us Be Greater

  Adoption is a loss that often lives in the shadows, both in the world and inside of adoptees. Losing everything you've ever known before there are even words to name it, when you are an absorbent, unformed human being can take a lifetime to understand. But it is only by recognizing the loss that adoptees can claim their birthright; a life of beauty and meaning. Michelle Madrid knows this territory from both directions. She is an adoptee and an adoptive mother. She dedicates herself to helping other adoptees claim all the parts of themselves, including the ones they were before they lost their first family. Join us as we talk about all sides of the an adoption and how we can all support adopted people to claim every part of themselves.

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• Bring More Cake

  Alone in a brand new city, Merissa Nathan Gerson set out to connect with her community. Her father shepherded the process, traveling with her to help her choose a house and set herself up for this new life. But very shortly after, he declined, rapidly approaching the end of his life. How does a single woman in a new city, far from her friendships and supports, get help with an unimaginable loss? Merissa identified what she needed and found ways to invite her new community into her world. As a result, she acquired valuable skills applicable not just to her own life but to other grievers as well. Her humor and tenacity shine through her guide, Forget Prayers Bring Cake, to all things grief (including legacies of trauma passed down through the generations). The result is a grief guide especially written for singles but helpful to anyone facing loss. Merissa Nathan Gerson’s writing has appeared in The New York Times, The Atlantic, Playboy, Tablet, Modern Loss, Lilith, and beyond. She was the inherited trauma consultant to Amazon’s Emmy-winning show Transparent and the author of Ask Your Yenta, an advice column that Bitch Magazine named the top ten to watch in 2010. The founder of KenMeansYes.org, a consent advocacy organization, she speaks nationwide on inherited trauma, consent education, and religious sex education. Born and raised in Washington, DC, Merissa lives in a purple house on an amazing block in Mid-City, New Orleans. Alone.

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• Emma

  Diana Kupershmit had the plans for her life clearly mapped out; finish college, graduate school, marry your high school sweetheart, start a family. She was not prepared for the jolt of the unexpected that arrived with the birth of her first child, Emma, who came with severe disabilities. Feeling unable and unprepared to raise a child with such profound needs, she and her husband looked for a family who could give her what she needed and love her too. But fate led Emma back to them, changing Diana's life, her beliefs and her capacity to believe in herself. In the process, she opened to a love that changed the way she felt about everyone in her life! Diana Kupershmit holds a Master of Social Work degree and works for the Department of Health in the Early Intervention program, a federal entitlement program servicing children birth to three with developmental delays and disabilities. She has published online in the Huffington Post, Manifest Station, Mutha Magazine, Power of Moms, Motherwell Magazine, Still Standing Magazine, and Her View From Home. On the weekends, she indulges her creative passion working as a portrait photographer specializing in newborn, family, maternity, and event photography. She lives in New York City.

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• Lost Angels

  In these times of increasing assaults on the queer community, we replay an episode from 2015 in which Kevin Fisher-Paulson recounted the triplets he and his husband fostered then lost as a result of homophobia. Going on the adopt two more children as the climate improved, his story is a cautionary tale about the family traumas that can come from societal bias. Kevin Fisher-Paulson was the author of the books “How We Keep Spinning,” “A Song for Lost Angels” and “Secrets of the Blue Bungalow.” He lived with his husband, Brian, their two sons and a pack of rescue dogs in the neighborhood he dubbed the “Outer, Outer, Outer, Outer Excelsior.” In addition to being a writer, Kevin served as commander of the honor guard for the San Francisco Sheriff’s Department. Gifts in Kevin’s memory can be made to the Innocence Project or the Most Holy Redeemer AIDS Support Group. His column in the San Francisco Chronicle was widely read and appreciated.

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• Always There, Always Gone

  Marty Ross-Dolen grew up in the shadow of her mother's grief. Her mother's parents had died in a plane crash when she was 14, just 5 years before Marty was born. She knew that her mother was different from her friend's mothers. Knowing this led to Marty trying to protect her mother, never really asking to know the whole story. The ways in which she could still know them were also blocked off. But as an adult, Marty investigated their lives to form a strong relationship with them. As the heads of Highlight Magazine, they were very visible and public. There were also letters and newspaper clippings. Over time, Marty came to know them, even in their absence. And that is how she came to love them and repair the break in her family legacy. Marty Ross-Dolen is a graduate of Wellesley College and Albert Einstein College of Medicine and is a retired child and adolescent psychiatrist. She holds an MFA in Writing from Vermont College of Fine Arts. Prior to her time at VCFA, she participated in graduate-level workshops at The Ohio State University. Her essays have appeared in North Dakota Quarterly, Redivider, Lilith, Willow Review, and the Brevity Blog, among others. Her essay entitled “Diphtheria” was named a notable essay in The Best American Essays series. She teaches writing and lives in Columbus, Ohio.  

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