Unhooked: Breaking Porn Addiction Podcast

Explore the Unhooked app: https://unhookedapp.co
🔵 Want to break free? Join Unhooked Academy now: https://www.unhookedacademy.com/
This week, I'm bringing back one of my favorite episodes because its message is just as relevant today as when I first recorded it.
Have you ever tried to quit porn, made progress for a few days or weeks, and then found yourself right back where you started?
Maybe you've promised yourself you'll never watch it again. Maybe you've tried relying on willpower, avoiding anything that triggers you, or being harder on yourself every time you slip up.
But what if some of those approaches are actually making recovery more difficult?
In this rebroadcast of Unhooked, I'm revisiting eight of the most common mistakes I see people make when trying to break free from porn addiction.
The idea for this episode actually came to me at a climbing gym in Amsterdam. I was helping a friend who was new to climbing, pointing out a few beginner mistakes that were making the climb unnecessarily difficult.
It got me thinking about recovery.
Just like climbing, breaking free from porn isn't only about trying harder. Sometimes, the biggest difference comes from recognizing what isn't working and learning a better way forward.
In this episode, we explore:
Why treating sexual desire as something shameful can reinforce the very cycle you're trying to escape
How to experience cravings and uncomfortable emotions without suppressing them or automatically acting on them
Why building supportive environments, meaningful relationships, and healthier routines is more sustainable than relying on willpower alone
How to recognize the deeper emotional needs that porn may be helping you avoid, so you don't simply replace one compulsive habit with another
Why setbacks don't have to erase your progress, and how vulnerability, support, and accountability can help you get back on track
One of the most important lessons I've learned is that recovery isn't about becoming someone who never struggles.
It's about learning to respond differently when challenges arise, becoming more honest with yourself, and building a life you no longer feel the need to escape from.
If you've been trying to quit porn but keep finding yourself stuck in the same patterns, this episode will help you recognize what might be getting in your way.
Explore the Unhooked app: https://unhookedapp.co
🔵 Want to break free? Join Unhooked Academy now: https://www.unhookedacademy.com/
Timestamps
00:00 Why Relapse Doesn't Mean Failure
00:55 Introducing the Rebroadcast and Free Slip Reset
02:37 The Rock Climbing Lesson Behind These 8 Mistakes
04:54 Mistake 1: Thinking Watching Porn Makes You a Bad Person
07:12 Mistake 2: Repressing Your Emotions and Urges
08:13 Mistake 3: Relying on Willpower Alone
09:03 Mistake 4: Looking for a Quick Fix
10:21 Mistake 5: Underestimating the Harm Porn Is Causing
12:11 Mistake 6: Ignoring the Root Cause of Addiction
14:08 Mistake 7: Beating Yourself Up After Relapse
15:28 Mistake 8: Trying to Recover Without Support
17:51 Getting Help and Building Accountability
18:31 Final Thoughts on Breaking Free From Porn
18:57 Closing Message

Explore the Unhooked app: https://unhookedapp.co
Learn more about Unhooked Academy: https://unhookedacademy.com
What happens when you finally quit porn, but the shame, secrecy, and distance in your relationship are still there?

For many men, quitting porn feels like the finish line. Stop watching, stay consistent, and everything else should eventually fall into place.

But I've seen how much more complicated recovery can be.

Porn often becomes a way to escape uncomfortable feelings. Stress, loneliness, insecurity, or simply not wanting to deal with what's happening in our lives. And when that habit starts affecting a relationship, the consequences don't necessarily disappear just because the behavior stops.

In this special reshare from Relationship Renovation, I join couples therapists Tarah and EJ Kerwin to explore what genuine recovery looks like, especially when trust and intimacy have been affected.

We talk about why porn use can become compulsive, what keeps people trapped in cycles of shame, and how to begin making changes that go deeper than maintaining a streak.

In this episode, we explore:
How to recognize when porn use has moved beyond occasional pleasure and become a way of avoiding difficult emotions
Why constant novelty and unrealistic sexual expectations can create challenges with attraction and intimacy in real relationships
How to use the RAIN mindfulness practice to recognize cravings, allow uncomfortable feelings, investigate what's underneath them, and respond with greater self-compassion
Why couples need honest conversations about boundaries and broken agreements rather than assuming they share the same expectations around pornography
How accountability and emotional awareness help rebuild self-respect while creating space for healthier relationships

One of the most important things I've learned is that recovery isn't just about what you stop doing. It's about how you learn to show up for yourself and the people you care about.

If you've been working hard to quit porn but still feel stuck in the same emotional patterns, I hope this conversation helps you see what the next part of recovery can look like.
Timestamps
00:00 Opening: Understanding Porn Addiction
01:20 Jeremy Introduces the Relationship Renovation Reshare
03:23 Unhooked Podcast Introduction
04:03 Relationship Renovation Introduces the Conversation
05:59 Jeremy's Personal Experience With Porn Addiction
06:57 Recognizing the Impact of Porn
07:56 How Porn Affects Attraction and Intimacy
11:14 When Does Porn Use Become an Addiction?
13:23 The Wake-Up Call That Changed Jeremy's Life
16:03 Discovering Mindfulness and Buddhist Philosophy
18:41 Why Porn Is Often an Emotional Coping Mechanism
21:24 The Accessibility of Porn and Its Effects on Relationships
25:00 Shame, Secrecy, and the Addiction Cycle
29:10 How Meditation Helps You Regain Control
31:53 Why Sobriety Isn't the Same as Recovery
33:03 Understanding Your Default Future
38:11 Introducing the RAIN Mindfulness Practice
39:13 Using RAIN to Work With Cravings
41:20 Getting on the Same Page With Your Partner
42:58 Why Recovery Must Be Your Own Choice
43:23 The Unexpected Benefits of Quitting Porn
45:49 Advice for Men and Their Partners
46:23 Finding Support Without Shame
47:38 Why Your Partner's Porn Use Isn't Necessarily About You
50:47 Why Opening Up Gets Easier With Practice
51:24 Where to Find Jeremy and Unhooked Academy
52:48 Jeremy's Closing Message

Explore the Unhooked app: https://unhookedapp.co

Learn more about Unhooked Academy: https://unhookedacademy.com

Explore the Unhooked app: https://unhookedapp.co
🔵 Want to break free? Join Unhooked Academy now: https://www.unhookedacademy.com/
What if the freedom you're looking for isn't just about quitting porn, but reaching a point where you no longer feel the need to turn to it?
For years, I was chasing happiness in all the places I thought I was supposed to find it. Success, relationships, sex, pleasure. On the outside, things seemed to be going well. But privately, I was struggling with porn addiction and a growing sense that something was missing.
I remember reaching a point in college when I started questioning everything. If I was getting the things I wanted, why wasn't I happy? And if I kept living this way, would I ever be?
That question eventually led me to meditation, Buddhist philosophy, and a completely different understanding of what it means to live a fulfilling life.
In this special reshare from Thriving with Addiction, I join host Dr. John Avery to talk about that journey, the role shame played in keeping my struggles hidden, and what I've learned about genuine freedom in recovery.
In this episode, we explore:
How early experiences of sexual shame can teach us to hide behaviors rather than understand them, creating patterns that follow us into adulthood
Why addressing the underlying craving for relief matters more than focusing exclusively on porn or any single addictive behavior
What years of silent meditation retreats taught me about experiencing uncomfortable emotions without immediately escaping them
Why finding a nonjudgmental community can be more effective than relying on motivation alone, especially when the initial excitement of quitting wears off
What Buddhists call the bliss of blamelessness, and why living without secrecy can bring a deeper sense of peace than simply maintaining a streak
One of the most encouraging things I've experienced is that recovery doesn't have to feel like an endless fight. With time and practice, the urges that once seemed impossible to resist can become less frequent and easier to navigate.
If you're somewhere on that journey, I hope this conversation reminds you that there's more to recovery than just stopping a behavior. There's an entire life waiting to be lived.
Timestamps
00:00 Opening: How Shame and Addiction Begin
01:15 Introducing the Conversation With Dr. John Avery
02:20 The Unhooked App
03:14 Unhooked Podcast Introduction
03:53 Dr. John Avery Introduces Jeremy
04:35 Jeremy's Life in Thailand
05:21 How My Porn Addiction Started
07:06 Why Porn Became an Emotional Escape
09:00 Sexual Shame and Mixed Messages
10:11 Understanding the Root of Addiction
11:33 The Moment I Questioned My Happiness
13:17 How Buddhist Philosophy Changed My Perspective
15:23 Silent Retreats and Becoming a Buddhist Monk
17:33 Learning to Work With Cravings
19:47 Breaking the Silence Around Porn Addiction
21:54 The First Time I Publicly Shared My Story
24:30 Talking About Pornography and Children
26:16 Mindfulness and Emotional Regulation
27:53 Rebuilding Relationships and Intimacy
29:15 Why Community Matters in Recovery
31:39 The Unexpected Benefits of Quitting Porn
34:15 Inside Unhooked Academy
35:05 Why Shame Keeps Addiction Alive
36:24 Closing Thoughts
Explore the Unhooked app: https://unhookedapp.co
Learn more about Unhooked Academy: https://unhookedacademy.com
This conversation originally aired on Thriving with Addiction.

Explore the Unhooked app: https://unhookedapp.co
🔵 Want to break free? Join Unhooked Academy now: https://www.unhookedacademy.com/
This week, I'm bringing back one of my favorite episodes because its message is just as relevant today as when I first recorded it.

You've decided to quit porn. You're feeling motivated, you've set your goals, and you're ready to change. But then an urge hits, and suddenly all that determination feels a lot harder to hold on to.
What do you actually do in that moment?
In this rebroadcast of Unhooked, I break down eight practical strategies for dealing with cravings, including how to make urges less likely to arise and what to do when they show up anyway.
One of the biggest mistakes people make in recovery is relying entirely on willpower. But lasting change isn't about fighting every urge that comes your way. It's about creating an environment that supports your goals while developing the ability to experience cravings without automatically acting on them.
In this episode, you'll learn:
How to identify your personal triggers and change the routines that keep pulling you back toward porn
Why simple changes to your environment, including where you keep your phone, can make recovery easier
How mindfulness creates space between experiencing an urge and choosing what to do next
What urge surfing is and how to practice it without fighting or suppressing your cravings
When to use physical movement, cold showers, or support from another person to get through a difficult moment
The goal isn't to spend the rest of your life avoiding temptation. It's to build the freedom to choose how you respond, even when an urge is strong.
Explore the Unhooked app: https://unhookedapp.co
Learn more about Unhooked Academy: https://unhookedacademy.com

Explore the Unhooked app: https://unhookedapp.co
🔵 Want to break free? Join Unhooked Academy now: https://www.unhookedacademy.com/
What happens when something you turn to for pleasure slowly starts shaping the way you see yourself, your relationships, and the world around you?
In this reshare from Wake Up with Marci, I sit down with Marci Hopkins to share a part of my own story that changed the direction of my life.
On the outside, things were going well. I had good grades, friends, and plenty of opportunities ahead of me. But privately, I was struggling with porn addiction, constantly chasing pleasure, and becoming increasingly dissatisfied with what I already had.
Then one day, walking down the street in my early twenties, I had a realization that scared me. I could suddenly see the kind of man I was becoming, and I knew I didn't want that future.
That moment led me to question everything I thought I knew about happiness, fulfillment, and what it actually means to be free.
In this episode, we explore:
Why porn can be especially difficult to quit, including the three factors that make it so accessible and habit-forming
How to recognize the difference between toxic shame that keeps you hiding and healthy remorse that helps you change
What I learned about happiness and neuroplasticity through Buddhist philosophy, and how it changed my approach to recovery
Why trying to empty your mind during meditation can actually reinforce self-judgment, and what to practice instead
What partners often misunderstand about porn addiction, and why understanding the behavior doesn't mean excusing the harm it causes
If you've ever wondered why changing a behavior can feel so difficult, or why getting what you want doesn't always make you happy, I think you'll find something valuable in this conversation.
Explore the Unhooked app: https://unhookedapp.co
🔵 Want to break free? Join Unhooked Academy now: https://www.unhookedacademy.com/
Timestamps:
00:00 Jeremy's Story: When Porn Addiction Became a Problem
03:32 Welcome to Wake Up with Marci
05:36 How Jeremy's Porn Addiction Started
08:00 When Porn Began Taking Over His Mind
10:00 The Moment Jeremy Saw Where His Addiction Was Taking Him
12:16 Porn, Alcohol, and Other Forms of Escape16:52 How Porn Changed the Way Jeremy Viewed Women
20:06 When Does Porn Become a Problem?
22:29 The Three A's of Porn Addiction
24:32 Why Porn Can Be So Difficult to Quit
25:45 Understanding the Shame Cycle
29:22 Healthy Shame vs. Toxic Shame
31:27 Moral Shame and Moral Dread
33:19 Trauma, Insecurity, and Filling the Void
35:58 Searching for a Different Kind of Happiness
38:25 How Buddhism and Neuroplasticity Changed Jeremy's Life
41:22 Mindfulness, Meditation, and Recovery
43:51 Meditation as a Gym for the Mind
46:18 Why Meditation Isn't About Clearing Your Mind
47:13 Recovery Is More Than Sobriety
49:10 How to Practice Mindfulness in Everyday Life
52:16 How to Start Meditating
53:03 Building a Practice of Gratitude
55:34 What Partners of Porn Addicts Need to Know
57:35 Porn Addiction as a Coping Mechanism
58:31 Where to Find Jeremy
59:06 You're Not Alone
01:01:29 Jeremy's Closing Message