Brave Love Great Sex – Couples Therapy Podcast

Welcome Brave Lovers! In today's episode, Laurie is joined by EFT couples therapist Jef Slootmaekers. Jef is an EFT trainer hailing from Belgium and is the author of a new book on shame called Shame in Psychotherapy: The Art of Appearing (English translation coming in September 2026). He is also the coauthor of Fighting for Connection: Perspectives on Conflict and Intimate Partner Violence . This fantastic episode starts with the question "If shame had a voice, what would it want us to understand about being human?" and dives deep into our need to belong to each other, the ways we experience shame, its healthy functions and how toxic core shame is developed. All persons feel shame but our response to shame can either be adaptive or create negative stories that organize and influence our relationships with ourselves and others. Walk through this conversation with Laurie and Jef to learn the healthy functions of shame, why living in a world without shame would be like driving around New York City without traffic lights. Learn how to recognize unhealthy shame and ways to uncondition yourself from the rigid stories it has created. We all need to feel safe and belong and this conversation helps shine a light in the dark places we keep to ourselves but can also keep us stuck. This conversation brings a lightness and hope to what can be a heavy topic and you'll walk away with action steps on how to begin healing toxic shame. Take care Brave Lovers!
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This episode is all about attachment theory. Attachment styles have been buzzing in the pop psychology world recently. Our hosts invite listeners to learn more about attachment theory which helps us understand why we fight the way we do and why our partner reacts to conflict in the way they do. Attachment theory is based on the idea that we are here to connect and life is all about relationship and meaningful connection. Join us today as we break down attachment theory, and the attachment styles secure, anxious, avoidant and disorganized. Laurie and George help us put on our attachment lenses to make sense of relationship behaviors that are often misunderstood. You'll take away the useful tips from acronyms A.R.E and O.I.L and how to make your relationship more secure today! Let's us help you love better this year!
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Help! This is not the relationship I signed up for. Did you bait and switch me from the person I said "I do," too? Welcome Brave Lovers, in today's episode we are tackling a topic we have heard in our offices over and over again. Hot and heavy, emotionally connected lovers that become distant strangers after marriage, children and more life together. Listen in as Laurie and George, explain what exactly happens between partners and help us work together to get back to the love that brought you together initially. Listeners will be guided by the steps that withdrawers and pursuers can take to reinvest in the relationship. The opposite of the bait and switch isn't more sex, it's attunement to one another's different needs. How long has your caregiving system been shut off and you have only been focused on your needs that aren't getting met? It's time to break free from the negative cycle and see where you can take a step towards your partner. Make sure to order a copy of our book, Brave Love, Great Sex available for pre-order now!

Check out this episode's sponsor (and help the pod!):

Uberlube.com - Laurie's favorite personal lubricant! Use the code BraveLove at checkout!

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Laurie and George answer a mailbag question in this episode. "I think my husband has been faking orgasms...how can I bring this up without increasing the anxiety he may already be feeling?" We want to thank our brave listener for reaching out to us with this question and bringing up a topic that is rarely discussed. Our hosts help provide language for couples and also make more explicit the emotions that end up driving the 'faking behavior'. Learn how to start a difficult conversation with your partner and pay attention to these key takeaways from this episode: the compliment sandwich, reducing unhealthy shame, giving men the permission to not orgasm and taking some of the pressure off. We love helping listeners with questions like this, so make sure you visit our website and drop us a note!
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Welcome Brave Lovers! In today's episode we are diving into the topic of communal sexual strength. Research shows that couples feel more desire when they approach sex with love and caring. This creates a positive reinforcement loop for couples. The motive for sex is love and caretaking and secure partners experienced heightened intimacy, longing and connection. Love creates the sense of "we" and this benefit is noticed in other areas of the relationship as well. Laurie reminds listeners that "desire grows when we give pleasure, deepen intimacy with our partner and deepen our emotional connection. Follow along as Laurie and George give a great role play example of what this looks like in action.

Make sure to grab a pre-order copy of our book, Brave Love, Great Sex! 
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