Fertility Cafe

What does surrogacy look like when everything actually goes the way it should?

This episode is part of the Surrogate Stories, where we hand the mic to the women who make this whole thing possible. These are their journeys, their stories, in their own voices. Eloise Drane sits down with surrogates and lets them tell it start to finish: why they said yes, what carrying for another family really asked of them, and what they carried home afterward.

This week, our surrogate is Amy, a two-time gestational surrogate who carried for two different families through Family Inceptions. Amy works in healthcare, where colleagues talked openly about infertility long before she ever considered surrogacy herself. She and her husband are foster parents. She has four children of her own. Both times she carried, she delivered a family their second child, which she describes as giving them a sibling as much as a baby.

This conversation covers the years Amy spent thinking about surrogacy before she acted on it, the children’s book that made her intended mother feel the match was meant to be, and why she turned down matches where the connection was not there. She talks about two very different deliveries, one so fast the father did not make it and one long enough that everyone was in the room, and about the questions her healthcare coworkers asked most. She is also direct about the misconception that bothers her most: that a surrogate and her intended parents are in an employer and employee arrangement rather than a friendship.

If you are considering becoming a surrogate and want to hear from someone whose two journeys went well and who is sad to be finished, this is the episode to listen to before you take the next step.

"I became a surrogate because I’m a happy, healthy pregnant woman and I wanted to share that." -- Amy

What You’ll Learn

● Why Amy thought about surrogacy for years before she pursued it

● How working in healthcare shaped what she understood about infertility

● Why she specifically wanted to carry for families who already had a child

● What her match calls felt like, and why she said no to some of them

● What the screening process asked her to think through before matching

● How she and her intended parents handled communication during both pregnancies

Guest Bio

Amy is a two-time gestational surrogate who completed both journeys through Family Inceptions, carrying a second child for each of two families. She works in healthcare, is a foster parent alongside her husband, and is a mother of four. She speaks about surrogacy openly and often, including with coworkers and her own teenagers, because she believes more women would consider it if they understood how the process actually works.

This episode is for women who are considering becoming a surrogate and want a clear-eyed account of what a well-matched, healthy journey looks like from start to finish.

Episode Resources

Family Inceptions: familyinceptions.com

Fertility Café: thefertilitycafe.com

Related Episodes

Why I Chose to Become A Gestational Surrogate

https://thefertilitycafe.com/podcast/ep-89-why-i-chose-to-become-a-gestational-surrogate/

Surrogate Logistics: Travel, Timelines, and Support

https://thefertilitycafe.com/podcast/ep-112-surrogate-logistics-travel-timelines-and-support/

Thinking About Becoming a Surrogate?

If you’re thinking about becoming a surrogate and want to talk with a team that’s been doing this for over...

Chapters

(00:00:33) - The Surrogate
(00:01:00) - Surrogacy Is For Real
(00:04:46) - The Surrogate's Journey
(00:06:15) - Amy on Her Surrogacy Journey
(00:07:51) - The Matching Process
(00:10:07) - The Process of Surrogacy
(00:11:37) - On The Intended Parents' Relationship During Their Pregnancies
(00:12:43) - Surrogate's Message for Family
(00:13:44) - What was it like at work? Surrogacy talk
(00:15:12) - Surrogate Baby's Birth
(00:18:31) - Surrogacy Is a Terrible Experience
(00:20:44) - On Her Choice to Have a Baby Early
(00:21:39) - What Makes a Surrogate So Special?
(00:23:50) - What Do You Think Is The Biggest misconception about Surrogacy
(00:28:48) - Surrogate's Journey Through Family Inceptions
(00:29:48) - Amy Surrogate's Advice for Others

What changes when you carry for your best friend, and then do it again for a family you have never met?

This episode is part of the Surrogate Stories, where we hand the mic to the women who make this whole thing possible. These are their journeys, their stories, in their own voices. Eloise Drane sits down with surrogates and lets them tell it start to finish: why they said yes, what carrying for another family really asked of them, and what they carried home afterward.

This week, our surrogate is Alyssa, a two-time gestational surrogate from small-town Iowa who did it two completely different ways. Her first journey was independent, for her best friend, a family that had already lost a child. Her second was through Family Inceptions, for intended parents on the other side of the country whom she met on a match call she compares to a blind date.

This conversation covers how she raised it with her husband on the drive home from a date night, how she told two daughters at very different ages, and how she vetted agencies from Facebook groups before she ever picked up the phone. Alyssa is candid about the difference between doing everything yourself and having someone else handle it, about the beta test that made everyone think the pregnancy was over, and about the postpartum blood pressure scare that put her in an ambulance three days after delivery and eventually led to a hysterectomy she is still making peace with.

If you are considering becoming a surrogate and want to hear both the independent route and the agency route from someone who has done each of them, this is the episode to listen to before you take the next step.

"These were never my babies. It was all their embryo." -- Alyssa

What You’ll Learn

How a friend’s family crisis turned surrogacy from an idea into a decision

What it is like to carry independently versus through an agency, from someone who did both

How she brought it up with her husband, and what he said the second time

How she explained surrogacy to a preteen and to a curious seven-year-old

How she vetted agencies from Iowa and why she chose one in Atlanta

What a match call with total strangers actually feels like

Guest Bio

Alyssa is a two-time gestational surrogate who completed one independent journey for a close friend and one agency journey through Family Inceptions. She lives in a small town in Iowa with her husband and their two daughters. She talks openly about what surrogacy asked of her body and her family, including the postpartum complications that followed her second delivery, so that women considering it can decide with the full picture in front of them.

This episode is for women who are weighing surrogacy and want an honest, first-hand account from someone who has carried for both a friend and a stranger and seen how differently the two can go.

Episode Resources

Family Inceptions: familyinceptions.com

Fertility Café: thefertilitycafe.com

Alyssa on Instagram https://www.instagram.com/alyssamcnally22

Related Episodes

Postpartum After Surrogacy

https://thefertilitycafe.com/podcast/ep-65-postpartum-after-surrogacy/

What to Look For in a Surrogacy & Egg Donation Agency

https://thefertilitycafe.com/podcast/ep-88-what-to-look-for-in-a-surrogacy-egg-donation-agency/

Thinking About Becoming a Surrogate?

If you’re thinking about becoming a surrogate and want to talk with a team t...

Chapters

(00:00:00) - What Women Carry Second Time
(00:00:52) - What Did You Know About Surrogacy
(00:04:41) - How A Surrogacy Made Her Baby
(00:07:06) - The Secret to Having a Surrogate Baby
(00:13:07) - The Secret to Surrogacy
(00:15:41) - The Surrogacy Match Call
(00:18:39) - Surrogacy Surrogacy: The First Journey
(00:23:23) - Tamara Surrogates on Being a surrogate
(00:27:37) - Did Your Blood Pressure Rise During Your First Delivery?
(00:33:24) - I Had A Hysterectomy After Having 4 Babies
(00:37:09) - What Do You Think Is The Biggest misconception About Surrogacy
(00:42:43) - What Do You Wish Women Know About Surrogacy?

Too many people walk into an OB GYN appointment with uncertainty, unanswered questions, or years of silent symptoms.

In this episode, Eloise Drane sits down with board-certified OB GYN Dr. Renita White, MD to unpack the real state of women’s healthcare today and the steps every person can take to advocate for themselves.

Dr. White shares why she entered obstetrics and gynecology, what she witnessed during training, and how systemic gaps leave many women confused about their own bodies. She explains the challenges of limited appointment times, lack of access, and medical misinformation and offers practical tools for improving trust and communication with healthcare providers.

Together, Eloise and Dr. White cover fertility education, AMH testing, preventive care, maternal mortality, racism in medicine, pregnancy fears, and navigating care in a post-Dobbs world. Dr. White also breaks down what a “normal” period actually looks like and when to seek additional support.

“You deserve to walk out of every appointment with real answers.” - Dr. Renita White

Guest Bio

Dr. Renita White, MD is a board-certified obstetrician and gynecologist and women’s health advocate. Originally from Georgia, she received her undergraduate degree from Duke University, her medical degree from The Ohio State University, and completed her OBGYN residency at Emory University. Alongside her private practice, Georgia OBGYN, Dr. White co-hosts the podcast Cradle & All and serves as a medical advisor for The Honey Pot Company, Flo Health, VeryWell Health, Parent Magazine, and Elle Magazine.

This episode is for any woman who has left a doctor’s appointment with more questions than answers, or who wants to better understand her reproductive health before something goes wrong.

What You’ll Learn

• Why Dr. White chose OB GYN and what she witnessed during training

• Stigma and systemic gaps within women’s healthcare

• How to prepare for and get more out of your OB GYN visits

• Fertility basics and what AMH testing can tell you

• When to see a reproductive specialist

• The realities of maternal mortality in the US

Episode Resources

Dr. Renita White renitawhitemd.com

Dr. White on Instagram @renitawhitemd

Cradle & All Podcast renitawhitemd.com/podcast

OBGYNs in Georgia study shorturl.at/k1aHl

Related Episodes

Ep 113: The Fertility Timeline: Dr Susanna Park on When to Get Tested 

Ep 111: The Patient Experience in Fertility Care: Advocating for Better Support

Ep 99: Bringing Equality to Reproduction for LGBTQ+ People

This episode is part of our Between Seasons series, where we’re bringing back some of the most-loved and most-needed conversations from the Fertility Café archive while we work on our next full season.

Stay Connected

Instagram https://www.instagram.com/fertilitycafe

Facebook https://www.facebook.com/fertilitycafe

LinkedIn linkedin.com/company/fertility-cafe

More Resources

Learn more about surrogacy & fertility https://familyinceptions.com/

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Chapters

(00:00:00) - Back to the Fertility Cafe Archive
(00:00:26) - Fertility Cafe: What to Know About Your Reproductive Health
(00:02:39) - Ob-GYN on Why She Loved Her Work
(00:11:10) - Ob-Gyn: Pre-Pregnancy Care
(00:18:09) - Maternal Fetal Mortality in the US
(00:26:26) - What is a miscarriage and how does it affect you?
(00:27:30) - Have you seen changes like pre-Covid and post-
(00:29:47) - On the Pro-Abortion Case
(00:33:20) - Are birth control pills safe?
(00:35:30) - Discussing menopause and contraception
(00:38:03) - How to talk about your period
(00:41:59) - Ob-GYN: Everything You Need to Know
(00:44:20) - Interview

What does it actually feel like to donate your eggs including the parts nobody talks about?

In this episode, Eloise Drane sits down with Rai Hyde, a six-time egg donor who is proud of her donations and the families she helped create and who also experienced long-term health complications as a result. Rai shares her story with honesty and without sugarcoating, because she believes every woman considering donation deserves the full picture before she decides.

This conversation covers what motivated Rai to donate, what the experience felt like from the inside, how she navigated known versus anonymous arrangements, and what she wishes she had known before her first cycle. It is a rare, candid account from someone who has done it six times and still looks back on it with pride while also being clear-eyed about the risks.

If you are considering becoming an egg donor, this is the episode to listen to before you take the next step.

“I’m proud to be an egg donor. And I want every woman who’s considering it to make the right decision for herself, knowing the real risks.” - Rai Hyde

Guest Bio

Rai Hyde is a six-time egg donor who, despite experiencing long-term health complications from her donations, looks back on the process and the families she helped create with pride and fondness. She is passionate about helping other donors and potential donors make informed decisions with a clear understanding of the health risks involved.

This episode is for women who are considering becoming an egg donor and want an honest, first-hand account from someone who has done it six times and experienced both the rewards and the complications.

What You’ll Learn

• What motivated Rai to become an egg donor and to do it six times

• What the egg donation experience really feels like from a donor’s perspective

• The long-term health complications Rai experienced and what potential donors should know

• How Rai navigated known versus anonymous donation arrangements

• What she wishes she had known before her first cycle

• Why she is still proud of her donations despite the challenges

Episode Resources

Rai Hyde on Instagram @cornellcontentmarketing

Rai Hyde on LinkedIn linkedin.com/in/raicornell

Will Being an Egg Donor Impact My Own Fertility? familyinceptions.com

IVF Injections: What to Expect & How to Deal With Them familyinceptions.com

Related Episodes

Ep 63: Meeting My Egg Donor Baby 

Ep 15: Egg Donor, Do You REALLY Understand the Egg Donation Process? 

Thinking About Becoming an Egg Donor?

If becoming an egg donor is something you’re exploring, visit familyinceptions.eggdonorconnect.com/donorprescreen to learn what’s involved.

This episode is part of our Between Seasons series, where we’re bringing back some of the most-loved and most-needed conversations from the Fertility Café archive while we work on our next full season.

Stay Connected

Instagram https://www.instagram.com/fertilitycafe

Facebook https://www.facebook.com/fertilitycafe

LinkedIn linkedin.com/company/fertility-cafe

More Resources

Learn more about surrogacy & fertility ...

Chapters

(00:00:00) - Return to Fertility Cafe: Episode 70
(00:00:50) - More Than 165,000 Egg Donors in 2019
(00:01:48) - I Was An Egg Donor 6 Times
(00:04:45) - After Donor 6, Did You Go Through a Clinic?
(00:05:56) - In the Elevator With An Egg Donor
(00:07:15) - Donor Anonymous on Sexual Donor Anonymous
(00:11:14) - On Becoming An Egg Donor
(00:16:45) - Donor Ovary Retrieval
(00:23:18) - Donor No. 6: Donor Experience
(00:26:15) - One Egg Donor's Issues related to the Donation
(00:34:36) - Donor Voices: I Have No Regrets
(00:36:37) - What would you tell intended parents who are considering egg donation?
(00:37:53) - Donor Speak Out
(00:40:46) - Donor Advocates Speak Out
(00:43:21) - Donor vs. Donor on Fertility Cafe

What does it feel like to grow up donor-conceived and find out at age 35 that everything you thought you knew about your origins was incomplete?

In this episode, Eloise Drane sits down with Erin Jackson, a freelance writer and donor-conceived rights advocate who discovered at 35 that she was conceived using donated sperm. The experience was shocking and it sparked a mission. Erin went on to create We Are Donor Conceived, a community and resource hub built to support others navigating the same discovery.

This conversation is an essential listen for any intended parent considering egg donation, sperm donation, or embryo donation. Erin shares what donor-conceived adults wish their parents had known, how the conversation around disclosure has shifted, and what the rise of consumer DNA testing has changed about donor anonymity forever.

If you’re building your family through donor conception, this episode gives you the perspective that matters most the one from the child’s point of view.

“Donor-conceived people deserve to know their own story.” - Erin Jackson

Guest Bio

Erin Jackson is a freelance writer and donor-conceived rights advocate. At age 35, she discovered she was conceived using donated sperm a revelation that transformed her life and her purpose. She founded We Are Donor Conceived, a community and resource platform created to support donor-conceived people in their search for identity, community, and answers.

This episode is for intended parents considering egg donation, sperm donation, or embryo donation who want to understand the long-term impact of donor conception from the perspective of the people who have lived it.

What You’ll Learn

• What it’s like to discover you’re donor-conceived as an adult and why late disclosure causes lasting harm

• What donor-conceived people most want parents to know and do differently

• Why donor anonymity is no longer a realistic promise in the age of consumer DNA testing

• How to approach disclosure with your child in a way that is honest, age-appropriate, and empowering

• What resources exist for donor-conceived people and the families who love them

Episode Resources

We Are Donor Conceived wearedonorconceived.com

Family Inceptions familyinceptions.com

Start Your Family-Building Journey

If you’re considering building your family through surrogacy or egg donation, visit familyinceptions.com to talk with our team.

This episode is part of our Between Seasons series, where we’re bringing back some of the most-loved and most-needed conversations from the Fertility Café archive while we work on our next full season.

Stay Connected

Instagram https://www.instagram.com/fertilitycafe

Facebook https://www.facebook.com/fertilitycafe

LinkedIn linkedin.com/company/fertility-cafe

More Resources

Learn more about surrogacy & fertility https://familyinceptions.com/

Listen to past episodes https://www.youtube.com/@FertilityCafe

Get expert insights & updates thefertilitycafe.com/resources

Chapters

(00:00:00) - Back in the Fertility Cafe Archive
(00:00:53) - Fertility Cafe: We Are Donor Conceived
(00:02:17) - Donor Conceived: Erin on the Podcast
(00:03:15) - Adoptee Reveals She Was Adopted
(00:05:08) - Does 23andMe Tell You How You Were Made?
(00:07:54) - In the Elevator With We Are Donor Conceived
(00:10:45) - The Donor Conceived Person Facebook Group
(00:12:34) - Donor Conceived People Respond to the Survey
(00:21:51) - What Does It Feel Like To Know You Have Sister?
(00:23:28) - Donor Anonymity Is Dead
(00:25:24) - Donor Conceived People Speak Out About Their Own Fate
(00:30:42) - Donor-Conceived People Want More Transparency
(00:35:57) - The DNA That Makes You Who You Are
(00:38:26) - Donor Conceived: What Do Donor-Born People Want
(00:40:30) - The Fertility Cafe: Modern Family Building