Fertility Cafe

What happens when a sperm donor and his donor-conceived child find each other decades later?

In this episode of Fertility Café, Eloise Drane sits down with reproductive medicine physician Dr. Danny Shapiro and Georgia state legislator Josh McLaurin for a conversation that is equal parts fascinating, deeply personal, and profoundly important for the future of donor conception.

Dr. Shapiro donated sperm as a medical student at Emory in the 1980s, never expecting to one day come face to face with the result. Josh McLaurin didn't find out he was donor-conceived until he was 31 years old, a revelation that sent him on a journey of self-discovery that ultimately led him straight to his biological father's 23andMe profile. The twist? Danny was already Josh's elected state representative.

This conversation goes far beyond one family's story. It unpacks the psychology of disclosure, the case for open donation, the evolving landscape of donor-conceived rights, and what it truly means to find yourself through your DNA.

If you have ever wondered what happens after the match is made...
If you are a donor, a donor-conceived person, or a recipient parent navigating disclosure...
If you believe the fertility industry needs to evolve alongside the families it creates...

This episode is for you.

You'll Learn

What it was actually like to donate sperm in the 1980s, before FDA oversight and genetic screening

How Josh discovered the truth at 31 and what the emotional journey really looked like

Why so many donor-conceived people describe feeling "broken" before they know the truth

How a 23andMe profile and a state legislature seat collided in the most unexpected way

What changed in Dr. Shapiro's patient consultations after living this experience firsthand

Why open donation is better for everyone, and where resistance in the field still exists

What the Colorado donor-conceived rights law gets right, and where it may go too far

How Josh and Danny navigated building a relationship without pressure or expectation

Why DNA is disposition, not destiny, and what that means for self-awareness and grace

What donors, donor-conceived people, and recipient parents can take away from this story

About Our Guests

Dr. Danny Shapiro is a reproductive endocrinologist and one of the founders of My Egg Bank, now the largest network of frozen donor egg banks in the United States. He has spent decades helping individuals and couples build families through assisted reproduction, and since connecting with Josh in 2019, has become an advocate for open donation and greater transparency in the fertility field.

Senator Josh McLaurin was elected to the Georgia State Senate in 2022 and serves Georgia's 14th Senate District, covering portions of north Fulton County including Sandy Springs, Roswell, Johns Creek, Atlanta, and Alpharetta. Previously, he served four years in the Georgia House of Representatives. A Double-Dawg graduate of UGA, he received his law degree from Yale and has built a legal practice focused on business litigation and aviation law. He grew up in Cobb County, discovered he was donor-conceived at age 31, and located Dr. Shapiro through 23andMe, only to realize Danny had been his own elected representative all along. Josh is now an advocate for donor-conceived rights and the policy changes needed to support them.

Resources & Links

Dr. Danny Shapiro

Reproductive Biology Associates (RBA): rbafertility.com

My Egg Bank: myeggbank.com

Senator Josh McLaurin

Georgia Senate Official Page:

Chapters

(00:00:00) - Fertility Cafe
(00:00:57) - Dr. Daniel Shapiro and Senator Josh McLaurin
(00:02:42) - Dr. Shapiro on Becoming a Sperm Donor
(00:04:49) - I Learned That My Father Is Not My Biological Father From 23and
(00:09:24) - Donor Registry Recruitment Through 23andMe
(00:16:03) - "I Should've Told My Parents About This"
(00:21:45) - The Secret Life of Donor Egg Banks
(00:26:37) - Donor Conceived Person on the Colorado Law
(00:35:00) - Open Donor Selection
(00:39:09) - Donor-Confidential: The Friendship
(00:46:29) - What Would You Want People To Know About The Love Letter
(00:48:27) - Donor's Story

What does it really take to become a surrogate physically, emotionally, and mentally?

In this episode of Fertility Café, Eloise Drane sits down with Darnae Pitts, wife, mother of two, and two-time gestational surrogate, to talk about what surrogacy actually looks like behind the scenes.

From being initially denied due to mental health and BMI requirements to navigating a divorce before starting her first journey, Darnae shares the determination it took to qualify. She opens up about losing weight to meet medical guidelines, strengthening her mental health, and learning that “not right now” did not mean “never.”

Darnae walks us through both of her surrogacy journeys, including an unexpected emergency C-section at 38 weeks, a successful VBAC the second time, and the emotional moment of watching intended parents meet their babies for the first time. She speaks candidly about hormone injections, intense medical screenings, strict IVF schedules, and the physical and emotional realities that most people never see.

The conversation also explores boundaries in the delivery room, cultural stigma around surrogacy, breastfeeding and pumping after delivery, balancing marriage and motherhood while carrying for another family, and what recovery truly feels like once the baby goes home with their parents.

If you have ever wondered how surrogates give the baby back…
If you have questioned whether you could emotionally handle carrying for someone else…
If you are considering becoming a surrogate and want to know what it really requires…

This episode offers an honest and grounded look at the strength, structure, and support necessary for a successful journey.

You’ll Learn

Why mental health stability is essential before becoming a surrogate

What the medical screening process actually involves

The BMI and health requirements agencies look for

How IVF medications and hormone injections impact the body

What it feels like emotionally to deliver a baby for another family

How to set clear boundaries during appointments and delivery

The realities of postpartum recovery after surrogacy

Why not everyone should become a surrogate

What makes someone mentally and emotionally prepared for a second journey

About Our Guest

Darnae Pitts is a wife, mother of two, and two-time gestational surrogate who felt called to help other families experience parenthood.

After navigating a divorce, prioritizing her mental health, and meeting strict medical qualifications, Darnae completed two successful surrogacy journeys. Her experiences included both an emergency C-section and a VBAC delivery, pumping breastmilk postpartum, and maintaining close relationships with both intended families.

Darnae is passionate about educating others on what surrogacy truly involves and hopes her story helps intended parents and future surrogates better understand the commitment, boundaries, and strength required to build families through surrogacy.

Resources & Links

Learn more about surrogacy and Family Inceptions: familyinceptions.com
Follow Fertility Café on Instagram: @fertilitycafe
Watch full episodes on YouTube: Fertility Café

Related Episodes

Ep 128 – What Surrogacy Really Feels Like: A Candid Conversation

Ep 112 – Surrogate Logistics – Travel, Timelines, and Support

Chapters

(00:00:00) - Fertility Cafe
(00:00:55) - What Happens After You're a Surrogate?
(00:02:07) - Melissa's Surrogacy Journey
(00:05:42) - Baby's First C-Section
(00:09:43) - Baby's First Mother's Reception
(00:10:08) - Baby's C-section delivery
(00:10:52) - After Delivery, How Did You Feel?
(00:12:22) - I Was A Surrogate Mother 2
(00:16:32) - What Does Your Relationship With The Intended Parents Look Like?
(00:17:32) - Mariah Carey On Being a Surrogate
(00:19:58) - Married Woman Carves 4 Pregnancies In Her Body
(00:21:29) - Marriage 2: Experiences from Journey 1
(00:22:55) - On Boundaries During Pregnancy
(00:25:02) - What Makes A Good Surrogate?
(00:26:49) - What's Advice For A Surrogate Who's Thinking of Doing
(00:28:17) - Surrogacy: How has it Changed Your Life?

Why are we taught so little about something that happens every single month for decades of our lives?

In this episode of Fertility Café, Eloise Drane sits down with fertility awareness educator and author Lisa Hendrickson-Jack to unpack one of the most overlooked truths in women’s health: the menstrual cycle is not just about getting pregnant. It is a vital sign.

From heavy periods and birth control prescriptions in her teens to becoming a pioneer in fertility awareness education and podcasting, Lisa shares how charting her cycle transformed her understanding of her body and ultimately her career.

This conversation goes far beyond basic sex education. It breaks down what is actually happening during your cycle, how ovulation impacts overall health, what hormonal birth control really does to the body, and why so many women feel confused or dismissed when something feels “off.”

If you have ever been told your symptoms are normal when they do not feel normal…
If you have ever come off birth control and wondered why your body felt different…
If you want to better understand what your cycle is actually telling you…

This episode is for you.

You’ll Learn

What it really means when we say “the menstrual cycle is a vital sign”

What’s happening hormonally from your period to ovulation to the luteal phase

Why the 28-day cycle myth is misleading — and what’s actually normal

How cervical fluid works (and why most of us were never taught about it)

The key role ovulation plays in bone density, mood, and long-term health

How hormonal birth control suppresses ovulation — and what that means for your body

Why there can be a temporary period of subfertility after coming off the pill

What research shows about post-pill cycle normalization

Why women often feel dismissed by providers — and how to advocate for yourself

The importance of learning your body before trying to conceive

About Our Guest

Lisa Hendrickson-Jack is a certified fertility awareness educator, host of the Fertility Friday podcast, and author of The Fifth Vital Sign and Real Food for Fertility (co-authored with Lily Nichols, RDN).

Lisa has been charting her cycle since age 18 and was one of the first voices to bring fertility awareness education to the podcast space in 2014. Today, her work focuses not only on educating women directly but also on training health practitioners to use the menstrual cycle as a diagnostic and health tool.

Her mission is simple but powerful: to help women understand their bodies in a way that is informed, practical, and grounded in research.

Resources & Links

Fertility Friday Podcast (look for the pink cover)
Website: fertilityfriday.com
Book: The Fifth Vital Sign
Book: Real Food for Fertility (realfoodforfertility.com — free first chapter available)
Instagram: @fertilityfriday

Connect with Eloise & Family Inceptions: familyinceptions.com

Related Episodes

Ep 129 – Acupuncture for Fertility: Supporting Hormones, Cycles & IVF Success
A conversation on how acupuncture supports hormone balance, regulates cycles, and complements fertility treatment.

Ep 126 – What Your OBGYN Isn’t Telling You
A candid discussion about the gaps in reproductive health education — and why so many women leave appointments without real answers.

Chapters

(00:00:00) - The Fertility Cafe
(00:00:59) - Fertility Cafe: The Cycle
(00:01:42) - Unpacking Fertility Awareness
(00:02:29) - Fertility Awareness For Women
(00:08:41) - You Talk About Your Period on the Podcast
(00:11:48) - Maiden's menstrual cycle as a vital sign
(00:16:07) - How to Tell When You're Expecting Ovulation (Cycle
(00:20:44) - How much variation is normal in your menstrual cycle?
(00:26:28) - What is the normal range of period bleeding?
(00:28:40) - How Does Birth Control Work?
(00:35:34) - There's a temporary period of subfertility post pill
(00:41:29) - Coming off the Pill
(00:47:23) - Trust Your Intuition
(00:49:25) - Lisa On Real Food For Fertility
(00:51:24) - How to chart your cycle

What does it take to navigate a U.S. surrogacy journey from abroad—and how do you stay grounded when the internet offers either too little or way too much information?

In this episode of Fertility Café, host Eloise Drane talks with Richard Westerby and Julio of IVF Daddies about Richard’s 14-year journey to fatherhood, the realities international parents face (legal, financial, and logistical), and why transparency and the right team matter more than glossy promises.

Whether you’re two dads, a heterosexual couple, or a solo parent exploring options, this conversation offers practical steps, candid cost talk, and a framework for picking trustworthy partners.

You’ll Learn

Why many international families choose the U.S.—and the state-by-state legal factors that matter

A realistic all-in cost range for U.S. surrogacy today and where surprises tend to appear

How to structure your “team” (agency, clinic, attorneys, insurance) to reduce conflicts of interest

The first questions to answer before you start (home-country legal path, embryos, sperm/egg/uterus plan)

How to sort signal from noise when there’s “too much information”—and build your own decision tree

An ethical, human-centered approach: what it looks like when things go right—and when they don’t

About Our Guests
Richard Westerby & Julio (IVF Daddies) are the creators of the IVF Daddies podcast and community, focused on demystifying fertility and surrogacy with straight talk and heart. Richard is the author of Our Journey: One Couple’s Guide to US Surrogacy (Amazon). Together, they advocate for informed choice, dignity for surrogates, and truly transparent care.

Resources & Links

Website: ivfdaddies.com (episodes, anonymous confessions, community)

Instagram/YouTube: @ivfdaddies

Book: Our Journey: One Couple’s Guide to US Surrogacy by Richard Westerby (Amazon)

Connect with Eloise & Family Inceptions: familyinceptions.com

Related Episodes

Ep 93  U.S. Surrogacy for International Parents

Ep 103  Choosing Your Family Building Team

Chapters

(00:00:00) - Why More People Are Going to the US for Reproductive Treatment and
(00:00:56) - Fertility Cafe
(00:01:47) - Fertility Cafe: Surrogacy
(00:02:42) - ICF Daddies
(00:03:20) - Tom Selleck on Surrogacy
(00:06:16) - The Surrogacy Process in the US
(00:10:21) - Why Do People Consider Doing Surrogacy Outside Their Home Country?
(00:17:53) - US Surrogacy: The Process
(00:19:19) - What Does a Typical Surrogacy Journey Look Like?
(00:23:39) - Surprise Costs of Surrogacy
(00:30:48) - US surrogacy and the birthright citizenship
(00:36:11) - The Importance of Surrogacy

What does it mean to grow up “the first” of anything—especially the first IVF baby born in the United States?

In this episode of Fertility Café, host Eloise Drane talks with Elizabeth Carr about her parents’ journey through early, experimental IVF, what has—and hasn’t—changed in 40+ years, and how media attention shaped her advocacy.

With clarity and compassion, Elizabeth unpacks common misconceptions (“test tube baby,” “miracle baby”), why patient autonomy matters, and the very real barriers families still face: geographic access and uneven insurance coverage.

Whether you’re a patient, provider, or policymaker, this conversation offers a grounded look at assisted reproduction—past, present, and what’s next.

You’ll Learn
• How Elizabeth’s parents navigated early IVF and why parts of today’s protocol are still similar
• What it was like growing up under a media spotlight—and how that informed her advocacy
• The biggest barriers to care: fertility deserts, travel burdens, and inconsistent insurance coverage
• How to talk with kids about IVF from toddler to teen—age-appropriate, stigma-free language
• Where innovation (PGT, freezing, AI) meets ethics—and why informed consent should lead
• Why the conversation about IVF stigma feels the “same volume” today, just amplified by social media
• What providers and lawmakers can do to center education, consent, and access

About Our Guest
Elizabeth Carr is the first baby born via IVF in the United States and a long-time advocate for fertility access and patient education. She works in PR/marketing for a PGT company and dedicates personal time to answering patient questions and engaging lawmakers on coverage and access. Find her on Instagram @EJordan12 and at EJordanCar.com.

Resources & Links
Follow Elizabeth on Instagram: @EJordan12
Visit Elizabeth’s website: EJordanCar.com

Related Episodes
Ep 119 – The Grief of Waiting: Invisible Losses in Family Building
Ep 118 – Surrogacy and the Emotional Journey to Motherhood

Chapters

(00:00:00) - Is IVF Expensive?
(00:00:36) - Fertility Cafe: The Legacy of IVF
(00:02:38) - In the Elevator With IVF
(00:04:14) - Born in a Test Tube Baby:
(00:06:01) - The Secret Life of My Birth
(00:09:23) - Elizabeth's Birth Through IVF
(00:11:05) - What IVF Was Like in the 1980s
(00:15:20) - Multiple barriers to IVF in the US
(00:20:42) - I Was Conceived Through IVF
(00:25:36) - Marriage and the Future of Reproductive Tech
(00:31:46) - What message would you share with fertility professionals and even lawmakers
(00:33:41) - Elizabeth Jordan on What She Does Now