Fertility Cafe

What does it feel like to grow up donor-conceived and find out at age 35 that everything you thought you knew about your origins was incomplete?

In this episode, Eloise Drane sits down with Erin Jackson, a freelance writer and donor-conceived rights advocate who discovered at 35 that she was conceived using donated sperm. The experience was shocking and it sparked a mission. Erin went on to create We Are Donor Conceived, a community and resource hub built to support others navigating the same discovery.

This conversation is an essential listen for any intended parent considering egg donation, sperm donation, or embryo donation. Erin shares what donor-conceived adults wish their parents had known, how the conversation around disclosure has shifted, and what the rise of consumer DNA testing has changed about donor anonymity forever.

If you’re building your family through donor conception, this episode gives you the perspective that matters most the one from the child’s point of view.

“Donor-conceived people deserve to know their own story.” - Erin Jackson

Guest Bio

Erin Jackson is a freelance writer and donor-conceived rights advocate. At age 35, she discovered she was conceived using donated sperm a revelation that transformed her life and her purpose. She founded We Are Donor Conceived, a community and resource platform created to support donor-conceived people in their search for identity, community, and answers.

This episode is for intended parents considering egg donation, sperm donation, or embryo donation who want to understand the long-term impact of donor conception from the perspective of the people who have lived it.

What You’ll Learn

• What it’s like to discover you’re donor-conceived as an adult and why late disclosure causes lasting harm

• What donor-conceived people most want parents to know and do differently

• Why donor anonymity is no longer a realistic promise in the age of consumer DNA testing

• How to approach disclosure with your child in a way that is honest, age-appropriate, and empowering

• What resources exist for donor-conceived people and the families who love them

Episode Resources

We Are Donor Conceived wearedonorconceived.com

Family Inceptions familyinceptions.com

Start Your Family-Building Journey

If you’re considering building your family through surrogacy or egg donation, visit familyinceptions.com to talk with our team.

This episode is part of our Between Seasons series, where we’re bringing back some of the most-loved and most-needed conversations from the Fertility Café archive while we work on our next full season.

Stay Connected

Instagram https://www.instagram.com/fertilitycafe

Facebook https://www.facebook.com/fertilitycafe

LinkedIn linkedin.com/company/fertility-cafe

More Resources

Learn more about surrogacy & fertility https://familyinceptions.com/

Listen to past episodes https://www.youtube.com/@FertilityCafe

Get expert insights & updates thefertilitycafe.com/resources

Chapters

(00:00:00) - Back in the Fertility Cafe Archive
(00:00:53) - Fertility Cafe: We Are Donor Conceived
(00:02:17) - Donor Conceived: Erin on the Podcast
(00:03:15) - Adoptee Reveals She Was Adopted
(00:05:08) - Does 23andMe Tell You How You Were Made?
(00:07:54) - In the Elevator With We Are Donor Conceived
(00:10:45) - The Donor Conceived Person Facebook Group
(00:12:34) - Donor Conceived People Respond to the Survey
(00:21:51) - What Does It Feel Like To Know You Have Sister?
(00:23:28) - Donor Anonymity Is Dead
(00:25:24) - Donor Conceived People Speak Out About Their Own Fate
(00:30:42) - Donor-Conceived People Want More Transparency
(00:35:57) - The DNA That Makes You Who You Are
(00:38:26) - Donor Conceived: What Do Donor-Born People Want
(00:40:30) - The Fertility Cafe: Modern Family Building

What does it actually feel like to carry a baby for someone else? Not the polished version the real one.

In this episode, Eloise Drane sits down with Heathyr Suhr, a two-time gestational surrogate and single mom, to talk honestly about what the surrogacy journey looks and feels like from the inside. Heathyr shares her motivations, her experiences with intended parents, what she needed most from her agency, and the parts of surrogacy that nobody tells you about upfront.

This is a first-hand account from someone who has done it twice and loves it and who is passionate about helping other women understand what they’re really signing up for before they begin.

If you’re considering surrogacy and wondering what the experience is truly like for the surrogate, this episode gives you an honest, grounded answer straight from someone who has lived it.

“I love pregnancy, I love helping create families, and I love educating other women on the ups and downs of this journey.” - Heathyr Suhr

Guest Bio

Heathyr Suhr is a single mom and two-time gestational surrogate who loves pregnancy, helping create families, and educating other women on the realities of surrogacy. She brings a candid, warm perspective to one of the most personal decisions a woman can make.

This episode is for women who are considering surrogacy and want to hear an honest, first-hand account of what the journey actually feels like.

What You’ll Learn

• What motivated Heathyr to become a surrogate and do it again

• What the day-to-day reality of being a gestational carrier actually feels like

• How Heathyr navigated her relationship with her intended parents

• What surrogates need most from their agency and their IPs

• The emotional ups and downs no one prepares you for

• What Heathyr wishes more women knew before starting the process

Episode Resources

Becoming a Surrogate: What’s Carrying Someone Else’s Baby Like? familyinceptions.com

6 Red Flags When Selecting a Surrogacy Agency familyinceptions.com

Related Episodes

Ep 8: Six-Time Egg Donor & Three-Time Surrogate Eloise Shares Her Story 

Ep 2: Surrogacy 101: When It Takes a Village to Start a Family 

Thinking About Becoming a Surrogate?

If you’re thinking about becoming a surrogate and want to talk with a team that’s been doing this for over two decades, visit familyinceptions.com.

This episode is part of our Between Seasons series, where we’re bringing back some of the most-loved and most-needed conversations from the Fertility Café archive while we work on our next full season.

Stay Connected

Instagram https://www.instagram.com/fertilitycafe

Facebook https://www.facebook.com/fertilitycafe

LinkedIn linkedin.com/company/fertility-cafe

More Resources

Learn more about surrogacy & fertility https://familyinceptions.com/

Listen to past episodes https://www.youtube.com/@FertilityCafe

Get expert insights & updates thefertilitycafe.com/resources

Chapters

(00:00:00) - Return to Fertility Cafe: Surrogacy Story
(00:01:23) - Surrogacy Special Guest: Heather Sir
(00:01:54) - Surrogacy for Kids 1
(00:05:01) - Surrogacy 1, Personal Support
(00:06:01) - The Surrogate's First Pregnancy
(00:07:37) - The surrogacy journey
(00:08:50) - The First Couple I Met Through The Birthcare Agency
(00:12:42) - The Surrogacy Process
(00:13:46) - The surrogates' first transfer failed
(00:15:25) - The Couple's Love Letter
(00:20:25) - I Was Forced To Have A Termination During My Marriage
(00:24:14) - The Match Manager's involvement in the pregnancy
(00:25:33) - The C-Section Baby
(00:29:18) - The Surrogacy Process
(00:34:18) - The Penn State doctor who got coveted
(00:34:36) - The Couple Who Matched With Their Daughter
(00:37:12) - Surrogate on 'The Surrogate'
(00:38:27) - What Would You Tell the Intended Parents About Surrogacy?
(00:40:14) - What would you tell a woman considering becoming a surrogate herself?
(00:42:03) - Surrogates Speak Out
(00:46:50) - Heather's Story of Surrogacy

Why are we taught so little about something that happens every single month for decades of our lives?

In this episode, Eloise Drane sits down with fertility awareness educator and author Lisa Hendrickson-Jack to unpack one of the most overlooked truths in women’s health: the menstrual cycle is not just about getting pregnant. It is a vital sign.

From heavy periods and birth control prescriptions in her teens to becoming a pioneer in fertility awareness education and podcasting, Lisa shares how charting her cycle transformed her understanding of her body and ultimately her career.

This conversation goes far beyond basic sex education. It breaks down what is actually happening during your cycle, how ovulation impacts overall health, what hormonal birth control really does to the body, and why so many women feel confused or dismissed when something feels “off.”

“Your menstrual cycle is not an inconvenience. It’s information.” - Lisa Hendrickson-Jack

Guest Bio

Lisa Hendrickson-Jack is a certified fertility awareness educator, host of the Fertility Friday podcast, and author of The Fifth Vital Sign and Real Food for Fertility (co-authored with Lily Nichols, RDN). Lisa has been charting her cycle since age 18 and was one of the first voices to bring fertility awareness education to the podcast space in 2014. Today her work focuses on educating women directly and training health practitioners to use the menstrual cycle as a diagnostic and health tool.

This episode is for any woman who wants to understand her cycle more deeply whether she’s on hormonal birth control, recently come off it, or simply trying to make sense of what her body is doing every month.

What You’ll Learn

• What it really means when we say “the menstrual cycle is a vital sign”

• What’s happening hormonally from your period to ovulation to the luteal phase

• Why the 28-day cycle myth is misleading and what is actually normal

• How cervical fluid works, and why most of us were never taught about it

• The key role ovulation plays in bone density, mood, and long-term health

• How hormonal birth control suppresses ovulation and what that means for your body

Episode Resources

Fertility Friday Podcast fertilityfriday.com

The Fifth Vital Sign fertilityfriday.com/book

Real Food for Fertility (free first chapter) realfoodforfertility.com Lisa on Instagram @fertilityfriday

Related Episodes

Ep 129: Acupuncture for Fertility: Supporting Hormones, Cycles & IVF Success 

Ep 126: What Your OBGYN Isn’t Telling You

This episode is part of our Between Seasons series, where we’re bringing back some of the most-loved and most-needed conversations from the Fertility Café archive while we work on our next full season.

Stay Connected

Instagram https://www.instagram.com/fertilitycafe

Facebook https://www.facebook.com/fertilitycafe

More Resources

Learn more about surrogacy & fertility https://familyinceptions.com/

Listen to past episodes https://www.youtube.com/@FertilityCafe

Get expert insights & updates

Chapters

(00:00:00) - The Fertility Cafe
(00:01:30) - Fertility Cafe: The Cycle
(00:02:13) - Unpacking Fertility Awareness
(00:03:00) - Fertility Awareness For Women
(00:09:12) - The Secret to Working Through Your Period
(00:12:19) - Meticulous Signs of PCOS
(00:16:39) - How to Tell When You're Expecting Ovulation (Cycle
(00:21:16) - How to manage your cycle? (28 Day Cycle)
(00:26:59) - What is the normal range of periods?
(00:29:09) - How Does Birth Control Work?
(00:36:05) - Ovarian reserve parameters post-ppill
(00:42:01) - Coming off the Pill
(00:47:54) - Trust Your Intuition
(00:49:58) - Lisa On Fertility: Real Food for Fertility
(00:51:56) - How to chart your cycle

How does egg donation actually work, and what do you need to know before you start?

In this solo episode, Eloise Drane, founder of Family Inceptions and a six-time egg donor, breaks down everything you need to know about egg donation. She covers the biology behind the process, the different types of donor arrangements (anonymous, semi-anonymous, known, and informational), how to choose the right program, and what the process actually looks like for both donors and intended parents.

Eloise also addresses the questions she hears most often: Is anonymous donation even possible in the age of DNA testing? What are the real risks for donors? How has cryopreservation changed the fresh vs. frozen debate? And how do you choose between a fertility clinic’s in-house program, a frozen egg bank, an agency, or going independent?

Whether you’re an intended parent who’s already decided to use egg donation or someone just starting to explore your options, this episode gives you the foundation you need.

“The egg donation process doesn’t need to be overwhelming, you just need the right information.” - Eloise Drane

This episode is for intended parents considering egg donation as a path to parenthood, and for women who are curious about becoming a donor and want to understand the full picture.

What You’ll Learn

• The biology behind egg donation and the key terms you’ll encounter

• The four types of donor arrangements anonymous, semi-anonymous, known, and informational and what each means today

• Whether true anonymous donation is still possible given advances in genetic testing

• What qualifies someone to be an egg donor, and what the real risks are

• How to choose between a frozen egg bank, fertility clinic program, egg donation agency, or independent route

• Why the fresh vs. frozen cycle debate has largely been settled by advances in cryopreservation

• How Eloise’s own donation journey led her to found Family Inceptions

Episode Resources

Family Inceptions familyinceptions.com

Related: Ep 144: Becoming an Egg Donor: The Real Process 

Start Your Family-Building Journey

If you’re considering building your family through surrogacy or egg donation, visit familyinceptions.com/start to talk with our team.

This episode is part of our Between Seasons series, where we’re bringing back some of the most-loved and most-needed conversations from the Fertility Café archive while we work on our next full season.

Stay Connected

Instagram https://www.instagram.com/fertilitycafe

Facebook https://www.facebook.com/fertilitycafe

LinkedIn linkedin.com/company/fertility-cafe

More Resources

Learn more about surrogacy & fertility https://familyinceptions.com/

Listen to past episodes https://www.youtube.com/@FertilityCafe

Get expert insights & updates familyinceptions.com/resources

Chapters

(00:00:00) - Fertility Cafe Archive: Egg Donation
(00:01:00) - Many myths and misconceptions about egg donation
(00:02:00) - What is Egg Donation?
(00:06:29) - What type of Egg Donation arrangement should you go with?
(00:16:21) - E egg donation: risks, complications, and options
(00:18:32) - Compensation for egg donation and frozen embryo transfers
(00:22:01) - Choosing the Right Egg Donor

Thinking about becoming an egg donor? Before you take the first step, here’s what the process actually looks like from your first application to the day you receive your compensation check.

In this solo episode, Eloise Drane a six-time egg donor herself and founder of Family Inceptions takes you through the entire egg donation journey in detail. She covers how to choose the right program, what medical screening and monitoring really involves, the legal agreements that protect you, and what compensation looks like at every level.

Eloise doesn’t sugarcoat it. She talks about OHSS, the emotional weight of the decision, what anonymity actually means in the age of 23andMe, and the questions most potential donors don’t know to ask until it’s too late.

If becoming an egg donor is calling you, this is the episode to start with.

“She is a kind and compassionate human being who wants to give a family a part of herself so they can feel whole.” — Eloise Drane

This episode is for women who are curious about egg donation and want an honest, detailed look at the process before they decide whether it’s right for them.

What You’ll Learn

• How to decide if egg donation is right for you and how to get clear on your ‘why’

• The qualifying criteria every egg donor must meet

• The four types of egg donation programs and how to choose between them

• What the application, matching, and medical screening process looks like step by step

• The medications you’ll take, what to expect, and what OHSS actually is

• Legal agreements: what the Egg Donor Agreement covers and why you need your own attorney

Episode Resources

Family Inceptions 

Thinking About Becoming an Egg Donor?

If becoming an egg donor is something you’re exploring, visit https://familyinceptions.com/egg-donors/ to learn what’s involved.

This episode is part of our Between Seasons series, where we’re bringing back some of the most-loved and most-needed conversations from the Fertility Café archive while we work on our next full season.

Stay Connected

Instagram https://www.instagram.com/fertilitycafe

Facebook https://www.facebook.com/fertilitycafe

LinkedIn linkedin.com/company/fertility-cafe

More Resources

Learn more about surrogacy & fertility https://familyinceptions.com/

Listen to past episodes https://www.youtube.com/@FertilityCafe

Get expert insights & updates thefertilitycafe.com/resources

Chapters

(00:00:00) - Fertility Cafe Archive
(00:00:26) - Egg Donor Chat
(00:01:19) - E egg donation 101
(00:02:57) - Are You Ready to Build a Family With Egg Donor?
(00:03:51) - What Does an Egg Donor Look Like?
(00:12:30) - Donor Selection: What Happens If You Get Chosen?
(00:17:18) - Oocyte Donor Process
(00:21:13) - E egg donation: Anonymous, Semi-Anonymous or
(00:27:24) - Donor Compensation
(00:29:25) - Becoming an Egg Donor