40 Plus: Gay Men. Gay Talk.

John Ball came out years ago. That was not the hard part. The hard part was the second closet he built after, the professional one, where he learned to shrink, soften, and stay palatable so nobody in the room got uncomfortable.

Ball breaks down how stand-up comedy taught him that boundaries do not make people leave, they make the right people stay, and how a room-sharing standoff with his family in Spain became the moment he stopped editing himself.

This kicks off Gay in the Gayborhood, a new interview series pulling back the curtain on the men behind the mic. This one is for the man still performing comfortable.

Key Takeaways
Coming out does not end the shrinking, it just moves it into new rooms
Boundaries do not make people leave, they make the right people stay
Stand-up comedy taught John Ball more about authenticity than any stage training ever did
Making other people comfortable at your own expense is a pattern, not a personality trait
This episode launches Gay in the Gayborhood, a new interview series featuring the men behind the mic
The moment John stopped hiding was not on a stage, it was a conversation with his family in Spain


About John

John is a Keynote & Presentation coach who turns competent speakers into captivating ones. He works with professional speakers, coaches, and leadership teams who are done blending in.

He hosts the Professional Speaking podcast for speakers who want to be known, booked, and paid what they're worth, and co-hosts The Coaching Clinic with his good friend Angie. His LinkedIn newsletter, Serious About Speaking, is exactly as punchy as it sounds.

John spent over 15 years as lead online coach and trainer for T. Harv Eker, and years on the coaching team at The Speaker Lab helping professional speakers get booked and paid. Before any of that, he was a flight attendant with British Airways, a bar manager, and a door-to-door salesman. He's got stories. He says the NSFW ones aren't for the show. Don't believe him.

He's also a working stand-up comic, an open mic addict, and runs workshops for new comedians. Underneath the cheekiness is someone who takes communication, integrity, and leadership seriously. Practicing Stoic, meditator, still doesn't take life too seriously.


Connect With John

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Hey Guys, Check This Out!

Are you a guy who keeps struggling to do that thing? You know the thing you keep telling yourself and others you’re going to do, but never do? Then it’s time to get real and figure out why.

Join the 40 Plus: Gay Men Gay Talk, monthly chats. They happen the third Monday of each month at 5:00 pm Pacific - Learn More!

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Twenty-five years ago, during the week the world changed, I met my husband.

This episode is not a highlight reel. It is an honest look at what it actually takes to build a life with someone, the silence that saves you, the space you have to learn to give, the difference between reacting and responding, and why love is not something that happens to you but something you keep choosing.

For gay men over 40 who wonder if lasting love is still possible, or who are already in it and need a reminder of why it is worth the work, this one is for you.

Key Takeaways:


Why silence is one of the most powerful tools in a long-term relationship
The difference between reacting and responding and why it changes everything
How giving space is an act of love not a withdrawal
Why not everything needs to be resolved immediately and how to know the difference
What a Buddhist practice taught Rick about embracing change instead of fighting it
Why operating from love makes you better at every role you play


About Rick

Rick Clemons has been getting people out of their own way since 2006. For gay men over 40, that means getting specific, getting direct, and getting a little uncomfortable. You're welcome.

He came out at 36, walked away from a corporate career that looked great on the outside and felt like slow death on the inside, and learned the hard way that the detours aren't the problem. Treating them like one is. That whole messy, inconvenient realization became his life's work.

He doesn't motivate. He doesn't therapize. He confronts. He works with gay men who are done stalling, done negotiating, and done living lives that technically work but don't actually fit.

Rick is the host of 40 Plus: Gay Men, Gay Talk, where the quiet parts get said out loud, and the author of Frankly My Dear, I'm Gay. His next book, The Reckoning: A Gay Man's Wake Up Call to His Own Bullshit, is coming soon.

He coaches. He speaks. He tells the truth in rooms where most people are still being polite about it.

When he's not doing that, he's drinking good wine, annoying his husband, and pretending his two grown daughters still need his advice.

No fears. No excuses. No apologies. That's not a tagline. It's how he lives.
Connect With Rick

Website

Instagram
Hey Guys, Check This Out!

Are you a guy who keeps struggling to do that thing? You know the thing you keep telling yourself and others you’re going to do, but never do? Then it’s time to get real and figure out why.

Join the 40 Plus: Gay Men Gay Talk, monthly chats. They happen the third Monday of each month at 5:00 pm Pacific - Learn More!

Also, join our Facebook Community - 40 Plus: Gay Men, Gay Talk Community

Tyler Wasson spent years running from every uncomfortable silence, awkward date, and rejection, convinced escape was the only way to survive them. Then he found Acceptance and Commitment Therapy and learned the opposite: sitting still inside discomfort is what actually builds connection.

Wasson explains why loneliness is not proof something is broken in you, it is a misperception you have been trained to believe. He breaks down his N.A.T.U.R.E. Formula, a nature-based approach that reframes isolation as something you can retrain, not a life sentence.

This conversation is for the man who keeps swiping, keeps busy, keeps avoiding the quiet, and still feels alone.

Key Takeaways
Loneliness is a misperception you have been trained to believe, not proof you are broken
Running from discomfort, bad dates, awkward silences, rejection, keeps you further from connection, not closer
Sitting still inside discomfort instead of escaping it is where real connection starts
The N.A.T.U.R.E. Formula reframes isolation as something you can retrain
Connection does not require performance, it requires presence
Nature and mindfulness are tools for noticing the connection you already have access to


About Tyler

Tyler Wasson, PsyD, is a psychologist, mindfulness teacher, and author of "Queering Connection: A Nature-Based Journey That Transforms Loneliness into Unshakeable Belonging."

His work focuses on helping queer men move from chronic loneliness and disconnection into a lived sense of belonging through mindfulness, direct experience, and a nature-based understanding of connection.

He is the creator of The N.A.T.U.R.E. Formula™, a framework that reframes loneliness not as a personal deficit, but as a misperception of disconnection.
Connect With Tyler

Website

Get The Book

Podcast

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Hey Guys, Check This Out!

Are you a guy who keeps struggling to do that thing? You know the thing you keep telling yourself and others you’re going to do, but never do? Then it’s time to get real and figure out why.

Join the 40 Plus: Gay Men Gay Talk, monthly chats. They happen the third Monday of each month at 5:00 pm Pacific - Learn More!

Also, join our Facebook Community - 40 Plus: Gay Men, Gay Talk Community

Most gay men do not have a conflict problem. They have a conversation problem. Joshua Johnson spent 25 years in journalism learning why people cannot talk to each other, then turned it into a TED Talk. The former NPR and MSNBC anchor joins Rick to break down what actually happens inside a difficult conversation, why your internal monologue is running the show before you say a word, and why the queer community has a specific and largely unspoken problem with mentorship and validation. This is not a civility lecture. It is a framework for stopping the patterns that keep gay men stuck in the same arguments with the same people.

Key Takeaways:
Why the problem in conflict is not the inability to talk but the inability to argue constructively
How your internal monologue shapes every difficult conversation before it starts
The journalist's trick for getting the story behind someone's position before engaging
Why responding instead of reacting changes the outcome of almost every conflict
The "common enemy intimacy" pattern that holds gay men back from real community
Why queer men struggle to receive mentorship and positive validation and what to do about it


About Joshua

Joshua Johnson has spent more than 25 years in journalism, helping people see each other despite their differences. His latest project, The Resolution, is an online game where players debate everyday issues to build their persuasion skills.

Previously Johnson was the anchor of “NOW Tonight”, the first 8pm program on the streaming channel NBC News NOW. Before that he anchored “The Week with Joshua Johnson” on MSNBC, providing rare spaces for audience interaction in network news.

His projects for NBC included anchored specials for Black History Month, a live MSNBC broadcast from outside New York’s Stonewall Inn for LGBTQ Pride Month, and a focus group of small business owners reacting to President Biden’s 2022 State of the Union Address. MSNBC recruited Johnson away from the NPR daily talk show “1A”, which he hosted for its first three years on-air. During that time “1A” built a weekly audience of four million listeners nationwide. Johnson has also been an anchor and reporter at San Francisco’s KQED, and at WLRN in its unique partnership with The Miami Herald. His most recent accomplishment was his TED 2026 talk.

Johnson holds bachelor’s degrees in Broadcasting and Theater Arts from the University of Miami. He lives in Chicago.
Connect With Joshua

Website

TED Talk 2026

Facebook

Instagram

LinkedIn
Hey Guys, Check This Out!

Are you a guy who keeps struggling to do that thing? You know the thing you keep telling yourself and others you’re going to do, but never do? Then it’s time to get real and figure out why.

Join the 40 Plus: Gay Men Gay Talk, monthly chats. They happen the third Monday of each month at 5:00 pm Pacific - Learn More!

Also, join our Facebook Community - 40 Plus: Gay Men, Gay Talk Community

David Lauterstein co-founded Nasty Pig, one of the most unapologetically sex-positive brands in queer history. Everyone expected his first book to be about that. Instead he wrote Sodomy Gods, a love story about meeting his husband Fred in the 1990s, because 33 years into the marriage he learned something nobody markets to gay men: fun and happiness are not the same thing.

Lauterstein talks about what three decades of work, sacrifice, and adaptation actually looks like, what the AIDS crisis taught him about resilience and community, and why chasing fun instead of happiness is how good men end up alone.

This one is for the man still confusing a good Saturday night with a good life.

Key Takeaways
Fun and happiness are not the same thing, and most men spend years chasing the wrong one
David Lauterstein co-founded one of the most sex-positive brands in queer history, then wrote a love story instead of a founder story
Thirty-three years of marriage taught him that great relationships require work, sacrifice, and constant adaptation
Lessons from the AIDS crisis still shape how he thinks about community and resilience today
Recording the audiobook in his own voice let him say things print never could
Older gay men find real purpose through charitable work and community, not just through fun


About David

David Lauterstein is among the most influential forces in queer culture, celebrated as an unapologetic champion for sex-positivity since co-founding the iconic Nasty Pig fashion brand in 1994.

As its CEO, he has been honored for his trailblazing entrepreneurship, his philanthropic efforts supporting homeless queer youth, and by the White House for his decades of public health advocacy.

A formally trained poet and house music producer, Lauterstein resides in New York City with his husband and Nasty Pig co-founder, Frederick Kearney. Sodomy Gods is his first book.


Connect With David

Website

Instagram
Hey Guys, Check This Out!

Are you a guy who keeps struggling to do that thing? You know the thing you keep telling yourself and others you’re going to do, but never do? Then it’s time to get real and figure out why.

Join the 40 Plus: Gay Men Gay Talk, monthly chats. They happen the third Monday of each month at 5:00 pm Pacific - Learn More!

Also, join our Facebook Community - 40 Plus: Gay Men, Gay Talk Community