Divorce and Separation

What does it actually mean when someone says, "I just want to be heard" and why does it matter so much in mediation? In this episode, I'm joined by Gerard Rees, Senior Family Dispute Resolution Practitioner at Simple Separation, to unpack what mediators listen for, how power imbalances show up, and why superannuation is often the most underestimated asset in family property settlements.
We talk through full and frank disclosure, why you shouldn't mediate "blind," and the very real house vs super trade-offs that can shape your life not just now but in 10, 15, 30 years.
In this episode we cover:
Why "I want to be heard" can signal a power imbalance (especially financially);

The non-negotiables before mediation: an agreed balance sheet + values + disclosure;

Why legal advice before mediation changes everything (confidence, clarity, reality testing);

How the law recognises non-financial contributions (parenting + domestic work);

Why super feels "personal" (and why people get emotionally attached to it);

The most common house vs super trade-off and how to think it through;

Gerard's best "pause before you agree" tip: today's needs vs future security.

Let's Keep the Conversation Going:
Visit Divorce and Separation Hub to explore expert resources, courses, and programs tailored to your needs. Share your questions or comments you're not alone in this.
Host: Nikki Parkinson, TEDx Speaker, Divorce Doula, Coach and Founder of The Divorce and Separation Hub.
The Divorce and Separation Hub Website
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Join our Divorce and Separation community HERE.
Watch Nikki's TEDx Talk HERE.
Guest: Gerard Rees, Senior Mediator, Simple Separation 
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Support the podcast by subscribing, leaving a five-star review, and sharing it with someone who could use a little extra support right now.
This podcast's audio production crafted by Dan at dankingproductions.com.au.
This episode is sponsored by Simple Separation, the smarter way to separate. Simple Separation is an online, fixed-fee service designed to help Australian couples finalise their divorce and separation respectfully, collaboratively, and without the stress of going to court. From property settlements and parenting plans to child support and divorce applications, everything you need is under one roof, saving you time, money, and unnecessary conflict.
Book your free consultation today to find out if Simple Separation is right for your situation at simple-separation.com.au.
Disclaimer
I hope you enjoyed the podcast today. The information we discussed today was just that information only. It is not specific advice. If you take action following something you heard today, it is important to make sure you get professional advice about your unique situation before you proceed, whether that advice be legal, financial, accounting, medical or other advice. Please reach out to me if you have any questions or if there's another topic you'd like explored.

When parents separate, the focus is often on logistics parenting schedules, property settlements, court orders.
But underneath all of that is something quieter.
The emotional world of our children.
In this episode, I sit down with psychologist Jamie Maserow, author of The Therapist in Therapy, to explore the silent emotional work children often carry during divorce and separation.
We discuss how children can slip into people-pleasing patterns, walking on eggshells to avoid upsetting Mum or Dad. We unpack jealousy — whether it's a child feeling replaced by a new partner, or a parent struggling with their child's bond with the other parent. And we talk about how to build emotional safety so kids feel secure enough to express what they really think and feel.
Jamie shares practical strategies parents can implement immediately, including grounding techniques to manage anxiety during handovers and how to create open conversations without burdening children with adult issues.
Resources Mentioned
The Therapist in Therapy – Jamie Maserow

The Invisible String (children's book referenced in discussion)

Let's Keep the Conversation Going:
Visit Divorce and Separation Hub to explore expert resources, courses, and programs tailored to your needs. Share your questions or comments you're not alone in this.
Host: Nikki Parkinson, TEDx Speaker, Divorce Doula, Coach and Founder of The Divorce and Separation Hub.
The Divorce and Separation Hub Website
The Divorce and Separation Hub Instagram
The Divorce and Separation Hub Facebook
The Divorce and Separation Hub Linkedin
Join our Divorce and Separation community HERE.
Watch Nikki's TEDx Talk HERE.
Guest: Jaime Maserow, Psychologist and Author of The Therapist in Therapy
Website
Instagram
Book
Loved This Episode?
Support the podcast by subscribing, leaving a five-star review, and sharing it with someone who could use a little extra support right now.
This episode is produced by Dan King of Dan King Productions.

This episode is sposnored by Simple Separation, the smarter way to separate. Simple Separation is an online, fixed-fee service designed to help Australian couples finalise their divorce and separation respectfully, collaboratively, and without the stress of going to court. From property settlements and parenting plans to child support and divorce applications, everything you need is under one roof, saving you time, money, and unnecessary conflict.
Book your free consultation today to find out if Simple Separation is right for your situation at simple-separation.com.au.
Disclaimer
I hope you enjoyed the podcast today. The information we discussed today was just that information only. It is not specific advice. If you take action following something you heard today, it is important to make sure you get professional advice about your unique situation before you proceed, whether that advice be legal, financial, accounting, medical or other advice. Please reach out to me if you have any questions or if there's another topic you'd like explored.

If you're separated (or separating) and you keep replaying the past, rewriting conversations, and wondering "Maybe I'm the one who's wrong…" this episode is for you.
One of the most common (and most unsettling) things I see after a breakup isn't confusion about money, logistics, or parenting schedules. It's people quietly doubting their own reality. There's a name for it: self-gaslighting and it can keep you stuck long after the relationship ends.
In this short solo episode, I explain what self-gaslighting is, why separation turns up the volume, and how to rebuild trust in yourself safely and slowly.
In this episode, we cover:
What self-gaslighting is (and how it differs from everyday self-doubt).

Why divorce/separation can make your inner critic louder even if leaving was the right call.

The "quiet, reasonable" thoughts that slowly erode self-trust.

Two real-world examples (Sarah + Tom) and how self-gaslighting shows up differently.

Practical ways to start coming back to your reality, your instincts, and your steadiness.

Let's Keep the Conversation Going:
Visit Divorce and Separation Hub to explore expert resources, courses, and programs tailored to your needs. Share your questions or comments you're not alone in this.
Host: Nikki Parkinson, TEDx Speaker, Divorce Doula, Coach and Founder of The Divorce and Separation Hub.
The Divorce and Separation Hub Website
The Divorce and Separation Hub Instagram
The Divorce and Separation Hub Facebook
The Divorce and Separation Hub Linkedin
Join our Divorce and Separation community HERE.
Watch Nikki's TEDx Talk HERE.
Loved This Episode?
Support the podcast by subscribing, leaving a five-star review, and sharing it with someone who could use a little extra support right now.
This episode is produced by Dan King of Dan King Productions.

This episode is sposnored by Simple Separation, the smarter way to separate. Simple Separation is an online, fixed-fee service designed to help Australian couples finalise their divorce and separation respectfully, collaboratively, and without the stress of going to court. From property settlements and parenting plans to child support and divorce applications, everything you need is under one roof, saving you time, money, and unnecessary conflict.
Book your free consultation today to find out if Simple Separation is right for your situation at simple-separation.com.au.
Disclaimer
I hope you enjoyed the podcast today. The information we discussed today was just that information only. It is not specific advice. If you take action following something you heard today, it is important to make sure you get professional advice about your unique situation before you proceed, whether that advice be legal, financial, accounting, medical or other advice. Please reach out to me if you have any questions or if there's another topic you'd like explored.

Some of the hardest days after separation aren't the days where everything falls apart.
They're the days that look "fine" on paper — birthdays, Christmas morning, school milestones, first days back — and yet I still feel that sting afterwards.
In this episode, I'm talking about why milestone days can hurt more than you expect, especially when social media tells the story first. Not because a photo is "wrong"… but because the timing, the caption, and the implied narrative can leave you feeling edited out of your child's life.
This isn't petty. It's grief meeting visibility. And it's more common than people admit.
In this episode, I cover:
Why special occasions after separation can feel heavier than ordinary days;

The difference between missing a moment and being missing from the story;

How "posting" becomes a proxy fight for identity, belonging, and being seen as a parent;

What kids absorb from adult emotion around photos, captions, and visibility;

Practical social media boundaries that reduce conflict and protect children.

Let's Keep the Conversation Going:
Visit Divorce and Separation Hub to explore expert resources, courses, and programs tailored to your needs. Share your questions or comments you're not alone in this.
Host: Nikki Parkinson, TEDx Speaker, Divorce Doula, Coach and Founder of The Divorce and Separation Hub.
The Divorce and Separation Hub Website
The Divorce and Separation Hub Instagram
The Divorce and Separation Hub Facebook
The Divorce and Separation Hub Linkedin
Join our Divorce and Separation community HERE.
Watch Nikki's TEDx Talk HERE.
Loved This Episode?
Support the podcast by subscribing, leaving a five-star review, and sharing it with someone who could use a little extra support right now.
This episode is produced by Dan King of Dan King Productions.

This episode is sposnored by Simple Separation, the smarter way to separate. Simple Separation is an online, fixed-fee service designed to help Australian couples finalise their divorce and separation respectfully, collaboratively, and without the stress of going to court. From property settlements and parenting plans to child support and divorce applications, everything you need is under one roof, saving you time, money, and unnecessary conflict.
Book your free consultation today to find out if Simple Separation is right for your situation at simple-separation.com.au.
Disclaimer
I hope you enjoyed the podcast today. The information we discussed today was just that information only. It is not specific advice. If you take action following something you heard today, it is important to make sure you get professional advice about your unique situation before you proceed, whether that advice be legal, financial, accounting, medical or other advice. Please reach out to me if you have any questions or if there's another topic you'd like explored.

Jonathan Kline-Spink, Director at Market Street Finance, unpacks what banks are really looking at when someone is separating and hoping to keep the family home.
We talk about the difference between borrowing capacity and affordability, why keeping the family home after separation is often more complex than people expect, and how lenders reassess risk when a joint mortgage becomes a single loan.
Jonathan explains
how banks consider income, expenses, child support, and property values;
why finance approvals fall through, and
the importance of having honest, early conversations before negotiating outcomes.
We also cover common issues that arise during separation, including credit files, missed payments during high-stress periods, and a broker's ethical obligation to act in a client's best interests.
This episode is for anyone navigating separation or divorce and trying to work out whether buying out an ex and keeping the family home is financially viable.
Related resources:
Episode 79 – Legal | Who Keeps the House After Separation? (Christina Salvo) → Legal | Who Keeps the House After Separation?

Lawyer Ready Session → Get clarity on your separation options

Supported Exit Session → Support if you're planning to leave or recently separated

Divorce & Separation Hub – Resources → Separation resources and support

Let's Keep the Conversation Going:
Visit Divorce and Separation Hub to explore expert resources, courses, and programs tailored to your needs. Share your questions or comments you're not alone in this.
Host: Nikki Parkinson, TEDx Speaker, Divorce Doula, Coach and Founder of The Divorce and Separation Hub.
The Divorce and Separation Hub Website
The Divorce and Separation Hub Instagram
The Divorce and Separation Hub Facebook
The Divorce and Separation Hub Linkedin
Join our Divorce and Separation community HERE.
Watch Nikki's TEDx Talk HERE.
Guest: Jonathan Kline-Spink, Mortgage Broker and Director at Market Street Finance 
Website
LinkedIn
Instagram
Loved This Episode?
Support the podcast by subscribing, leaving a five-star review, and sharing it with someone who could use a little extra support right now.
This podcast's audio production crafted by Dan at dankingproductions.com.au.
This episode is sponsored by Simple Separation, the smarter way to separate. Simple Separation is an online, fixed-fee service designed to help Australian couples finalise their divorce and separation respectfully, collaboratively, and without the stress of going to court. From property settlements and parenting plans to child support and divorce applications, everything you need is under one roof, saving you time, money, and unnecessary conflict.
Book your free consultation today to find out if Simple Separation is right for your situation at simple-separation.com.au.
Disclaimer
I hope you enjoyed the podcast today. The information we discussed today was just that information only. It is not specific advice. If you take action following something you heard today, it is important to make sure you get professional advice about your unique situation before you proceed, whether that advice be legal, financial, accounting, medical or other advice. Please reach out to me if you have any questions or if there's another topic you'd like explored.