Divorce and Separation

If you're separated (or separating) and you keep replaying the past, rewriting conversations, and wondering "Maybe I'm the one who's wrong…" this episode is for you.
One of the most common (and most unsettling) things I see after a breakup isn't confusion about money, logistics, or parenting schedules. It's people quietly doubting their own reality. There's a name for it: self-gaslighting and it can keep you stuck long after the relationship ends.
In this short solo episode, I explain what self-gaslighting is, why separation turns up the volume, and how to rebuild trust in yourself safely and slowly.
In this episode, we cover:
What self-gaslighting is (and how it differs from everyday self-doubt).

Why divorce/separation can make your inner critic louder even if leaving was the right call.

The "quiet, reasonable" thoughts that slowly erode self-trust.

Two real-world examples (Sarah + Tom) and how self-gaslighting shows up differently.

Practical ways to start coming back to your reality, your instincts, and your steadiness.

Let's Keep the Conversation Going:
Visit Divorce and Separation Hub to explore expert resources, courses, and programs tailored to your needs. Share your questions or comments you're not alone in this.
Host: Nikki Parkinson, TEDx Speaker, Divorce Doula, Coach and Founder of The Divorce and Separation Hub.
The Divorce and Separation Hub Website
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The Divorce and Separation Hub Facebook
The Divorce and Separation Hub Linkedin
Join our Divorce and Separation community HERE.
Watch Nikki's TEDx Talk HERE.
Loved This Episode?
Support the podcast by subscribing, leaving a five-star review, and sharing it with someone who could use a little extra support right now.
This episode is produced by Dan King of Dan King Productions.

This episode is sposnored by Simple Separation, the smarter way to separate. Simple Separation is an online, fixed-fee service designed to help Australian couples finalise their divorce and separation respectfully, collaboratively, and without the stress of going to court. From property settlements and parenting plans to child support and divorce applications, everything you need is under one roof, saving you time, money, and unnecessary conflict.
Book your free consultation today to find out if Simple Separation is right for your situation at simple-separation.com.au.
Disclaimer
I hope you enjoyed the podcast today. The information we discussed today was just that information only. It is not specific advice. If you take action following something you heard today, it is important to make sure you get professional advice about your unique situation before you proceed, whether that advice be legal, financial, accounting, medical or other advice. Please reach out to me if you have any questions or if there's another topic you'd like explored.

Some of the hardest days after separation aren't the days where everything falls apart.
They're the days that look "fine" on paper — birthdays, Christmas morning, school milestones, first days back — and yet I still feel that sting afterwards.
In this episode, I'm talking about why milestone days can hurt more than you expect, especially when social media tells the story first. Not because a photo is "wrong"… but because the timing, the caption, and the implied narrative can leave you feeling edited out of your child's life.
This isn't petty. It's grief meeting visibility. And it's more common than people admit.
In this episode, I cover:
Why special occasions after separation can feel heavier than ordinary days;

The difference between missing a moment and being missing from the story;

How "posting" becomes a proxy fight for identity, belonging, and being seen as a parent;

What kids absorb from adult emotion around photos, captions, and visibility;

Practical social media boundaries that reduce conflict and protect children.

Let's Keep the Conversation Going:
Visit Divorce and Separation Hub to explore expert resources, courses, and programs tailored to your needs. Share your questions or comments you're not alone in this.
Host: Nikki Parkinson, TEDx Speaker, Divorce Doula, Coach and Founder of The Divorce and Separation Hub.
The Divorce and Separation Hub Website
The Divorce and Separation Hub Instagram
The Divorce and Separation Hub Facebook
The Divorce and Separation Hub Linkedin
Join our Divorce and Separation community HERE.
Watch Nikki's TEDx Talk HERE.
Loved This Episode?
Support the podcast by subscribing, leaving a five-star review, and sharing it with someone who could use a little extra support right now.
This episode is produced by Dan King of Dan King Productions.

This episode is sposnored by Simple Separation, the smarter way to separate. Simple Separation is an online, fixed-fee service designed to help Australian couples finalise their divorce and separation respectfully, collaboratively, and without the stress of going to court. From property settlements and parenting plans to child support and divorce applications, everything you need is under one roof, saving you time, money, and unnecessary conflict.
Book your free consultation today to find out if Simple Separation is right for your situation at simple-separation.com.au.
Disclaimer
I hope you enjoyed the podcast today. The information we discussed today was just that information only. It is not specific advice. If you take action following something you heard today, it is important to make sure you get professional advice about your unique situation before you proceed, whether that advice be legal, financial, accounting, medical or other advice. Please reach out to me if you have any questions or if there's another topic you'd like explored.

Jonathan Kline-Spink, Director at Market Street Finance, unpacks what banks are really looking at when someone is separating and hoping to keep the family home.
We talk about the difference between borrowing capacity and affordability, why keeping the family home after separation is often more complex than people expect, and how lenders reassess risk when a joint mortgage becomes a single loan.
Jonathan explains
how banks consider income, expenses, child support, and property values;
why finance approvals fall through, and
the importance of having honest, early conversations before negotiating outcomes.
We also cover common issues that arise during separation, including credit files, missed payments during high-stress periods, and a broker's ethical obligation to act in a client's best interests.
This episode is for anyone navigating separation or divorce and trying to work out whether buying out an ex and keeping the family home is financially viable.
Related resources:
Episode 79 – Legal | Who Keeps the House After Separation? (Christina Salvo) → Legal | Who Keeps the House After Separation?

Lawyer Ready Session → Get clarity on your separation options

Supported Exit Session → Support if you're planning to leave or recently separated

Divorce & Separation Hub – Resources → Separation resources and support

Let's Keep the Conversation Going:
Visit Divorce and Separation Hub to explore expert resources, courses, and programs tailored to your needs. Share your questions or comments you're not alone in this.
Host: Nikki Parkinson, TEDx Speaker, Divorce Doula, Coach and Founder of The Divorce and Separation Hub.
The Divorce and Separation Hub Website
The Divorce and Separation Hub Instagram
The Divorce and Separation Hub Facebook
The Divorce and Separation Hub Linkedin
Join our Divorce and Separation community HERE.
Watch Nikki's TEDx Talk HERE.
Guest: Jonathan Kline-Spink, Mortgage Broker and Director at Market Street Finance 
Website
LinkedIn
Instagram
Loved This Episode?
Support the podcast by subscribing, leaving a five-star review, and sharing it with someone who could use a little extra support right now.
This podcast's audio production crafted by Dan at dankingproductions.com.au.
This episode is sponsored by Simple Separation, the smarter way to separate. Simple Separation is an online, fixed-fee service designed to help Australian couples finalise their divorce and separation respectfully, collaboratively, and without the stress of going to court. From property settlements and parenting plans to child support and divorce applications, everything you need is under one roof, saving you time, money, and unnecessary conflict.
Book your free consultation today to find out if Simple Separation is right for your situation at simple-separation.com.au.
Disclaimer
I hope you enjoyed the podcast today. The information we discussed today was just that information only. It is not specific advice. If you take action following something you heard today, it is important to make sure you get professional advice about your unique situation before you proceed, whether that advice be legal, financial, accounting, medical or other advice. Please reach out to me if you have any questions or if there's another topic you'd like explored.

Buying out an ex from the family home after separation can feel overwhelming — financially, legally, and emotionally. In this episode, I'm joined by Christina Salvo, CEO and Founder of Simple Separation, to break down how the process actually works and what needs to happen first.
We talk through the real sequence involved in buying out an ex — starting with negotiation and mediation, moving into formal agreements, and then looking at finance and title transfer. Christina explains why affordability and borrowing capacity need to be assessed early, what lenders look at when a joint mortgage becomes a sole loan, and why refinancing after separation is often misunderstood.
We also cover what happens when both people want to keep the family home, how mediation helps reality-test options, and when court becomes the only remaining pathway. Christina clarifies common misconceptions around stamp duty and spousal transfers, including when exemptions apply for married and de facto couples.
Finally, we talk about why every property settlement should include fallback provisions if finance approval falls through, and how having a safety net in place can protect both parties and reduce unnecessary stress.
This episode is for anyone navigating separation, negotiating a property settlement, or trying to work out whether keeping the family home is financially viable.
In this episode, we cover:
Buying out an ex after separation

Property settlements and formal agreements

Refinancing vs new loans after separation

Borrowing capacity and affordability

Mediation and negotiation pathways

Stamp duty exemptions and spousal transfers

What happens if finance isn't approved

Let's Keep the Conversation Going:
Visit Divorce and Separation Hub to explore expert resources, courses, and programs tailored to your needs. Share your questions or comments you're not alone in this.
Host: Nikki Parkinson, TEDx Speaker, Divorce Doula, Coach and Founder of The Divorce and Separation Hub.
The Divorce and Separation Hub Website
The Divorce and Separation Hub Instagram
The Divorce and Separation Hub Facebook
The Divorce and Separation Hub Linkedin
Join our Divorce and Separation community HERE.
Watch Nikki's TEDx Talk HERE.
Guest: Christina Salvo, CEO, Simple Separation 
Website
 
Instagram
Loved This Episode?
Support the podcast by subscribing, leaving a five-star review, and sharing it with someone who could use a little extra support right now.
This podcast's audio production crafted by Dan at dankingproductions.com.au.
This episode is sponsored by Simple Separation, the smarter way to separate. Simple Separation is an online, fixed-fee service designed to help Australian couples finalise their divorce and separation respectfully, collaboratively, and without the stress of going to court. From property settlements and parenting plans to child support and divorce applications, everything you need is under one roof, saving you time, money, and unnecessary conflict.
Book your free consultation today to find out if Simple Separation is right for your situation at simple-separation.com.au.
Disclaimer
I hope you enjoyed the podcast today. The information we discussed today was just that information only. It is not specific advice. If you take action following something you heard today, it is important to make sure you get professional advice about your unique situation before you proceed, whether that advice be legal, financial, accounting, medical or other advice. Please reach out to me if you have any questions or if there's another topic you'd like explored.

Dr Gina Cleo joins me for a powerful conversation about the tiny habits that help you steady yourself after separation especially when identity, routine and confidence feel completely shaken.
Gina shares openly about her three divorces and the very human process of rebuilding from the inside out. We explore how separation disrupts the "micro-moments" of your day, why habits shape identity, and the difference between having a habit problem versus simply having no capacity left.
We also talk about:
Small actions that rebuild confidence and clarity

Breaking patterns like people-pleasing and overexplaining

Co-parenting systems that create emotional safety

Why motivation can't be relied on during grief or overwhelm

The one habit she recommends for anyone drowning in stress

This episode is gentle, practical and full of hope. If you're trying to find your feet again, start here — with habits that heal.
Let's Keep the Conversation Going:
Visit Divorce and Separation Hub to explore expert resources, courses, and programs tailored to your needs. Share your questions or comments you're not alone in this.
Host: Nikki Parkinson, TEDx Speaker, Divorce Doula, Coach and Founder of The Divorce and Separation Hub.
The Divorce and Separation Hub Website
The Divorce and Separation Hub Instagram
The Divorce and Separation Hub Facebook
The Divorce and Separation Hub Linkedin
Join our Divorce and Separation community HERE.
Watch Nikki's TEDx Talk HERE.
Guest: Dr Gina Cleo, PhD . Habit Researcher . Speaker . Author . Dietitian 
Dr Gina's Website
Dr Gina's Instagram
 
Loved This Episode?
Support the podcast by subscribing, leaving a five-star review, and sharing it with someone who could use a little extra support right now.
This podcast's audio production crafted by Dan at dankingproductions.com.au.
This episode is sponsored by Simple Separation, the smarter way to separate. Simple Separation is an online, fixed-fee service designed to help Australian couples finalise their divorce and separation respectfully, collaboratively, and without the stress of going to court. From property settlements and parenting plans to child support and divorce applications, everything you need is under one roof, saving you time, money, and unnecessary conflict.
Book your free consultation today to find out if Simple Separation is right for your situation at simple-separation.com.au.
Disclaimer
I hope you enjoyed the podcast today. The information we discussed today was just that information only. It is not specific advice. If you take action following something you heard today, it is important to make sure you get professional advice about your unique situation before you proceed, whether that advice be legal, financial, accounting, medical or other advice. Please reach out to me if you have any questions or if there's another topic you'd like explored.