SOLVED with Mark Manson

• How to Let Go of Your Shame

  Chances are, there’s something in your life you feel deeply ashamed about—something you’ve never told anyone, something you can’t even admit to yourself. In this episode, we go deep into the emotion we all experience but almost no one wants to talk about: shame. Where it comes from, why it’s so powerful, how it screws up our lives—and more importantly, how to deal with it. We cover the biology of shame, the psychology, the evolutionary roots, and how modern life (especially the internet) completely messes with our shame systems. We talk about healthy vs. toxic shame, how it shows up in addiction, relationships, perfectionism, and self-sabotage, and why most of us either try to hide from it or end up being controlled by it. You’ll also hear from members of my team about how shame shaped their lives in surprising ways. As always, this episode is brutally honest, deeply researched, and sprinkled with a few bad jokes. But more than anything, I hope it gives you the awareness—and the tools—to start facing whatever it is you’ve been avoiding. Because you can’t outrun your shame. But you can learn to live with it. We also put together a free companion guide for this episode with all the takeaways, references, and tools to help you get your sh*t together once and for all. Download it here: https://solvedpodcast.com/shame Ready to stop listening to podcasts and actually start taking action? Join the Solved Community, a group of like-minded people who are taking small steps every day to make big changes in their lives: https://findmomentum.com/shame Sign up for my newsletter, Your Next Breakthrough. It will help make you a less awful person: https://markmanson.net/breakthrough Chapters 00:00:00 Introduction 00:04:35 Chapter 1: Shame's Hidden Architecture 00:14:38 Chapter 2: Key Definitions 00:18:32 Distinguishing Shame from Guilt 00:20:49 State Shame vs. Trait Shame 00:21:47 Shame vs. Embarrassment and Humiliation 00:24:03 Shame, Trauma, and their Interrelationship 00:25:14 Chapter 3: The Neurobiology of Shame 00:29:56 The Shame Spiral 00:36:04 The Learning Paradox of Shame 00:44:12 Chapter 4: The Shame Compass 00:47:33 Personal Experiences with Shame 00:49:21 Workaholism as a Coping Mechanism 00:59:13 The Allure of Shamelessness 01:01:15 Chapter 5: Individual, Familial, & Cultural Sources of Shame 01:11:05 Geographical Impact on Shame 01:13:08 Cultural Values and Shame 01:14:35 How the Greater Culture Shapes Shame 01:26:12 Chapter 6: Digital Technology & Shame 2.0 01:28:02 The Digital Divide 01:31:05 The Relationship Between Technology and Anxiety 01:33:55 Protection Strategies 01:39:21 Chapter 7: Developmental Stages of Shame 01:40:19 Understanding the Origin of Shame 01:42:57 The Role of Parenting in Shame Development 01:56:49 Chapter 8: How Therapy Transformed Our Understanding of Shame 02:01:06 Carl Rogers and the Safety Revolution 02:07:31 Albert Ellis and the Cognitive Revolution 02:11:58 The Influence of Albert Ellis and Carl Rogers 02:13:31 The Emergence of Reparenting and Inner Child Work 02:17:18 The Rise of Internal Family System 02:20:24 Brene Brown's Work on Shame 02:27:59 Chapter 9: Tools to Address Your Shame 02:40:19 Stoic Principles for Perspective 02:47:05 Perspective Shifting Techniques 02:58:26 Chapter 10: Tuning Your Shame System 03:10:39 Recognizing Unsustainable Shame Patterns 03:16:28 Kristen Neff's Self-Compassion Framework 03:25:33 Understanding Shame as Obsession and Resentment 03:29:53 Overcoming Shame and Personal Growth 03:31:39 Takeaways fr... Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

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• How To Finally Let Yourself Be Happy

  Everyone’s obsessed with being happy—but what if that obsession is the very thing making us miserable? In this episode of Solved, Drew and I explore what actually makes us feel good—and why most of us are chasing it in all the wrong ways. We unpack what philosophers like Aristotle and the Buddha got right thousands of years ago—and how modern science is just now catching up. We talk about hedonic vs. eudaimonic happiness, why more money and status don’t necessarily move the needle, and why most self-help advice completely misses the point. Happiness isn’t something you get. It’s a side effect of doing the right things for the right reasons. So, if you're tired of chasing "more" and ready to actually feel a little less miserable, this one’s for you. We also put together a free companion guide for this episode with all the takeaways, references, and tools to help you get your sh*t together once and for all. Download it here: https://solvedpodcast.com/happiness Ready to stop listening to podcasts and actually start taking action? Join Momentum, a community of like-minded people who are taking small steps every day to make big changes in their lives: https://findmomentum.com/happiness Sign up for my newsletter, Your Next Breakthrough. It will help make you a less awful person: https://markmanson.net/breakthrough Follow me: https://instagram.com/markmanson/ https://twitter.com/IAmMarkManson https://facebook.com/Markmansonnet/ https://linkedin.com/in/markmanson/ https://www.tiktok.com/@iammarkmanson Chapters: 0:00 Introduction 10:42 Chapter 1: The Origins of Human Happiness 11:04 Hedonia vs Eudaimonia 15:11 Epicureanism 23:20 Eastern Perspectives 27:15 Modern Happiness Research 29:30 Chapter 2: The WEIRD Problem: When Happiness Research Goes West 40:47 Chapter 3: The Three Components of Happiness 46:44 Hedonic Adaptation 59:53 Chapter 4: What Does—and Doesn't—Make Us Happy 1:00:35 Drugs and Alcohol 1:07:23 Sex 1:15:09 Money 1:23:10 Fame and Status 1:37:26 Geography and Environment 1:39:51 Love and Relationships 1:41:19 Friendships 1:44:04 Having Children 1:49:10 The Experiencing vs. Remembering Self 1:52:53 Chapter 5: Baseline vs. Circumstantial vs. Intentional Happiness 1:53:35 Genetics 1:59:50 Circumstances 2:02:16 Intentional Actions 2:06:13 Relationships 2:10:51 Gratitude 2:13:13 Altruism 2:18:47 Experiences vs. Stuff 2:22:12 Implementing Intentional Happiness 2:24:21 Chapter 6: Don't Pursue Happiness; Remove Unhappiness 2:29:05 Social Comparison 2:31:30 Maximizers vs. Satisficers 2:34:19 Chapter 7: How Happiness Changes Across the Lifespan 2:51:44 Chapter 8: Happiness Myths 3:04:47 Chapter 9: The 80/20 Guide to Happiness 3:16:22 Lessons Learned Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

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• How to Manage Your Emotions

  What are emotions? Why do we feel anything at all? And more importantly — can we actually get better at feeling? In this episode, Drew and I dive headfirst into what might be the hardest question in all of psychology: what the actual f**k are emotions? We break down the biology, neuroscience, evolution, culture, and even language that shape how we feel — and why we often don’t understand what the hell is going on inside us. From ancient philosophy to brain scans, this is a deep (and occasionally weird) look into the emotional chaos that makes us human. We unpack everything from the origins of emotional intelligence (spoiler: it might be BS) to the science of emotional regulation, attachment styles, and the sneaky ways your culture wires your emotional defaults. Along the way, we explore why some relationships make you feel like a better person while others drain the life out of you, and how trauma, genetics, and childhood with your ability to keep it together. But this episode isn’t just about understanding emotions — it’s about learning how to work with them. And we give you a full emotional toolkit: a set of evidence-based tools to help you manage your emotions, build better relationships, feel more motivated, and yes — even feel more confident in yourself in the process. We also put together a free companion guide for this episode with all the takeaways, references, and tools to help you get your sh*t together once and for all. Download it here: https://solvedpodcast.com/emotions Ready to stop listening to podcasts and actually start taking action? Join Momentum, a community of like-minded people who are taking small steps every day to make big changes in their lives: https://findmomentum.com/emotions Sign up for my newsletter, Your Next Breakthrough. It will help make you a less awful person: https://markmanson.net/breakthrough Chapters: 0:00:00 Introduction 0:04:47 Chapter 1: What Are Emotions? 0:14:04 The Emotional Brain 0:22:03 Neurotransmitters 0:34:25 Evolution of Emotions 0:39:53 How Life Experiences Shape Emotional Regulation 0:48:41 Conclusion on What are Emotions 0:49:45 Chapter 2: How Culture Influences Our Emotions 0:55:44 Vietnam Bike Story 1:00:05 Your Culture Trains You to Want Certain Feelings 1:06:00 Culture Decides Whether Suppression is a Superpower or a Liability 1:07:56 Paradox of Emotional Conformity 1:16:36 How Language Shapes What You Feel 1:29:23 Emotional Complexity 1:36:25 Your Emotions Are Social Currency 1:43:00 Conclusion to Culture defines our emotions 1:44:08 Chapter 3: Historical and Philosophical Traditions on Emotions 1:57:21 Modern Culture 1:59:00 Chapter 4: The Four Schools of Emotional Regulation 2:00:56 The Heart 2:08:55 The Head 2:18:37 The Soul 2:28:50 The Body 2:36:23 The Integrated Toolkit 2:48:25 Chapter 5: Brilliant or Bullshit: Emotional Intelligence 2:57:31 Chapter 6: Relationships and Emotional Regulation 3:09:54 Attachment Theory 3:27:29 Toxic Relationship 3:36:49 Building Emotional Compatibility 3:51:24 Conclusion Relationships 3:57:24 Chapter 7: 80/20 Follow me: https://instagram.com/markmanson/ https://twitter.com/IAmMarkManson Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

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• How to Stop Procrastinating

  In this second episode of Solved, Drew and I go deep into the psychology, history, and science of procrastination. From Plato and Aristotle to Freud and modern research, we break down why we delay the things that matter most—and how to actually stop.This isn't a “just set a timer” productivity talk. We’re diving deep into shame, identity, perfectionism, culture, and why procrastination is ultimately a *skill issue*, not a moral failure. We cover things like:- How humans have thought about putting things off for over 2000 years- The real reason you avoid the most important tasks in your life- Why “I work better under pressure” is (usually) BS- Why self-compassion is actually more motivating than guilt- Tons of practical, research-backed strategies you can start using todayAnd much, much, much more. We also put together a free companion guide with all the takeaways, references, and tools to help you get your sh*t together once and for all. Download it here : https://solvedpodcast.com/procrastination Ready to stop listening to podcasts and actually start taking action? Join Momentum, a community of like-minded people who are taking small steps every day to make big changes in their lives: https://findmomentum.com/procrastination Sign up for my newsletter, Your Next Breakthrough. It will help make you a less awful person: https://markmanson.net/breakthrough Follow me: https://instagram.com/markmanson/ https://twitter.com/IAmMarkManson https://facebook.com/Markmansonnet/ https://linkedin.com/in/markmanson/ https://www.tiktok.com/@iammarkmanson Chapters 00:00 Introduction 01:05 Episode Roadmap 08:20 What exactly is procrastination? 15:50 Plato's Thoughts on Procrastination 24:07 The Buddhist & Confucian Views on Procrastination 26:19 Aristotle's Take on Procrastination 33:50 Christianity and Procrastination 46:53 Self-Compassion and Procrastination 58:45 The Reformation and Procrastination 1:04:25 Freud's Influence on Psychology 1:06:40 Pleasure Principle and Reality Principle 1:08:13 Id, Ego, and Superego 1:10:26 Defense Mechanisms 1:17:20 Adopting Habits as Identity 1:23:05 The Influence of Childhood and Parenting on Procrastination 1:33:42 Behaviorism 1:41:21 Environmental Design 1:46:10 Thriving Under Pressure: A Critique 1:52:10 Expectation, Pressure, and Procrastination 1:54:06 Critique of Behaviorism 1:59:20 Time Management 2:07:33 Knowledge vs Emotion in Procrastination 2:16:43 Mark and Drew's Personal Productivity Systems 2:20:37 Deep Work and Task Management 2:23:12 Productivity System for ADHD 2:29:26 Productive Procrastination 2:34:22 Importance of Task Completion 2:36:51 Existentialism and Purpose 2:44:21 Purpose and Motivation 2:53:40 Temporal Motivation Theory 2:57:39 Limitations of Temporal Motivation Theory 2:59:22 The Role of Technology in Procrastination 3:07:10 ... Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

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• How to Find and Live by Your Values

  Welcome to the first episode of the Solved Podcast. Today, we are solving your values. Over eight years ago, I wrote The Subtle Art of Not Giving a F*ck—a book that, underneath all the swearing and irreverence, was really about one thing: values. What do you care about? What’s actually worth your time, your energy, your life? So in this kickoff episode of SOLVED, Drew and I are going deep into why your values are the foundation of everything—your happiness, your mental health, your relationships, your sense of meaning—and why so many of us today feel so lost. We break down the difference between chasing cheap dopamine hits and building real fulfillment, why not all values are created equal, how to figure out what your true values are, how to change your values, how to start living out your values more fully, and how values silently shape your decisions and relationships every day. If you’ve ever felt stuck, directionless, or like you’re living someone else’s life, this episode is the wake-up call you need. It’s time to stop drifting through life and start giving a fck about the right things. Forget the rest. Welcome to SOLVED. Get the Values companion guide for this episode: https://solvedpodcast.com/values Ready to stop listening to podcasts and actually start taking action? Join the Momentum, a community of like-minded people who are taking small steps every day to make big changes in their lives: https://findmomentum.com Follow me: https://instagram.com/markmanson/ https://twitter.com/IAmMarkManson https://facebook.com/Markmansonnet/ https://linkedin.com/in/markmanson/ https://www.tiktok.com/@iammarkmanson Chapters 00:00 Welcome to SOLVED 07:47 Episode Roadmap 09:31 CHAPTER 1: What are Values? 10:26 Characteristics of Values 14:23 Values vs. Psychological Needs vs. Preferences 23:06 Schwartz's Values Wheel 30:36 Instrumental and Terminal Values 32:15 Hierarchy of Values 38:35 Values Conflict 42:35 Carol Ryff's Six Dimensions of Psychological Well-being 57:01 Aristotle's Golden Mean as Virtue 1:05:01 CHAPTER 2: Values and Your Relationships 1:22:56 The Clash of Values in Relationships 1:30:29 Identifying and Navigating Values in Relationships 1:34:40 Understanding Compatibility Through Values 1:37:25 CHAPTER 3: Where Do Values Come From? 1:38:20 Margaret Mead's Cultural Relativism 1:47:55 Mary Douglas's and the Grid-Group Framework 1:56:20 Jonathan Haidt's Moral Foundations Theory 2:09:26 The Allegory of the Taco Truck 2:14:34 CHAPTER 4: Identifying Your Core Values 2:16:58 Thought Experiments to Find Your Values 2:32:16 The Instrumental Value of Golf 2:41:45 The Role of Trauma in Value Change 2:48:53 CHAPTER 5: How to Change Your Values 2:50:44 Kazimierz Dabrowski and Positive Disintegration 3:03:22 On Cults and Cognitive Dissonance 3:16:26 Self-Confrontation and Value Change 3:18:34 Charlie Munger's Maxim: Incentives and Behavior 3:21:56 CHAPTER 6: Lessons and Takeaways 3:36:30 T... Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

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