Ep 371 Do I Belong Here? Race, Intimacy & Emotional Safety
Zach and Desirae Ysasi pick up where they left off—diving deep into the intersections of race, identity, privilege, and emotional intimacy in relationships and therapy spaces. What unfolds is a profoundly honest and vulnerable conversation about belonging, the emotional labor of marginalized people, and what it means to truly listen and connect across differences.
Desirae shares how her lived experience as a Mexican-American woman shapes her approach to relationships, while Zach opens up about grappling with his identity as a white man raised with privilege. The episode becomes a model of real-time learning and mutual respect, grounded in curiosity and humility.
This is more than just a conversation about culture—it’s about how we show up for each other with compassion, honesty, and a willingness to grow.
Key Takeaways
Curiosity Over CertaintyZach and Desirae reflect on the importance of asking questions to understand, not to correct. True connection comes from being willing to sit in uncertainty and learn from others' lived experiences.
Self-Esteem as a Spiritual ConceptDesirae explains that healthy intimacy requires healthy self-esteem—and for many marginalized people, self-worth must be cultivated not from the culture around them, but from a deep spiritual sense of belonging and worthiness.
Therapists are Still Learning, TooZach shares a story about unintentionally alienating a client and asks how to be better. Desirae responds with grace and clarity.
Navigating Marriage in a Marginalized BodyDesirae speaks powerfully about what it means to build intimacy in a world that has long devalued your body, identity, and culture. Even with all the right tools, trauma and oppression create layers that take time and care to unwind.
Guest Link
ysasicounseling.com
Based in San Antonio, TX
Specializes in couples therapy, cultural identity, and relational healing
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46:17
Ep 370 Therapists Have Messy Marriages Too | with Desirae Ysasi
Zach welcomes Desirae Ysasi for her first appearance as a guest co-host—and what unfolds is a warm, insightful, and occasionally awkward conversation about parenting, marriage, culture, and therapist life. From Desirae’s daughter offering podcast advice (“don’t be weird”) to Zach’s reflections on parenting adult children, the two therapists pull back the curtain on their real lives.
They explore how therapists experience their own relationships, what it means to “cherish” your partner, and why Desirae believes couples can still struggle with conflict even when they have all the tools. Their honesty and laughter make space for listeners to reflect on their own relationships—not from a place of performance, but of grace, learning, and genuine care.
This episode is the first of a three-part series with Desirae, and it sets the tone beautifully: smart, soulful, and full of moments that might just help you feel softer toward yourself or your partner.
Key Takeaways
You Can Know the Tools and Still StruggleDesirae reveals that even as a couples therapist, conflict in her marriage doesn’t always look pretty—but what makes the difference is how she and her husband repair.
Cherishing as a Daily PracticeCherishing isn’t about grand romantic gestures. It’s about making sure your partner has tangible access to your love and affection—in everyday moments, through small actions.
Conflict Isn’t the Problem—Disconnection IsDesirae shares that the hardest part of conflict is not being able to be generous. What matters is not just the argument, but whether you can still be open, kind, and connected during hard moments.
Therapists are People, TooThe episode normalizes that even people trained to guide others through relationships have messy, human partnerships of their own—and that’s part of what makes the work so honest.
Guest Link
ysasicounseling.com
Based in San Antonio, TX
Specializes in couples therapy, trauma, and relational healing
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42:05
Ep 369 Start How You Want to Finish: A Real Talk with the Polites
Zach sits down with Krystal and Dedric Polite, real estate entrepreneurs, parents, and partners who built their marriage and business with vision, honesty, and hustle. Known for their HGTV show and business Be Polite Properties, the Polites take listeners behind the scenes of their relationship — from their first date (which felt more like an interview) to their evolving partnership as co-parents and business owners.
Krystal and Dedric share how intentionality, therapy, and shared values laid the foundation for their long-term success. Krystal’s bold, upfront approach is met with Dedric’s easygoing warmth, and together, they show how different strengths can complement each other when grounded in trust and aligned purpose.
They talk about therapy, parenting, building generational wealth, and how they support each other’s dreams—and why Krystal believes “you have to find out early if your partner is a teammate or an opponent.”
Key Takeaways
Start How You Want to Finish
Krystal approached their very first date with intentionality—talking credit scores, life goals, and values—because she knew she didn’t want to wait years to get to the heart of a relationship.
Therapy From the Beginning
Two months into their relationship, Krystal insisted on couples therapy—something Dedric initially resisted, but now credits as a major reason they’ve stayed strong.
Teammates, Not Opponents
Their philosophy of marriage centers on being on the same team. Krystal explains how many couples are unknowingly married to their opponent—and how to avoid that trap early.
Unlearning “Too Much Strength”
Raised by strong single mothers, both Krystal and Dedric had to unlearn old patterns—Krystal admits it took years to allow Dedric to help with parenting, and Dedric had to learn not to emotionally shut down.
Support Each Other’s Dreams
Their real estate business was Dedric’s dream—Krystal helped launch it. Their trampoline park franchise? That’s Krystal’s dream—and now Dedric is all in.
Guest Links
@bepoliteproperties
HGTV’s 50/50 Flip (Krystal & Dedric’s show)
bepoliteproperties.com (for speaking, investing, and media inquiries)
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51:17
Ep 368 The Hard Work of Staying Together: Tarah & EJ’s Story
In this vulnerable and powerful episode, Zach is joined by Tarah and EJ Kerwin, a married therapist duo and co-founders of Relationship Renovation, a counseling center and podcast dedicated to helping couples reconnect and rebuild. With honesty, warmth, and even some tears, Tarah and EJ take us behind the scenes of their own marriage—from honeymoon bliss to total overwhelm, from avoidance and trauma to healing and deep emotional presence.
They share how the birth of their twins shifted their entire dynamic, how ketamine-assisted therapy helped Tarah reconnect with forgotten trauma, and how they both committed to doing the inner work to stay together, grow together, and model safety for their blended family.
This episode is a window into the real, raw, and redemptive process of building a resilient marriage, even when both partners are therapists.
Key Takeaways
The Before & After of Parenting
Going from 0 to 4 kids (including twins with colic) rocked their nervous systems—and their connection.
The honeymoon phase disappeared overnight, and they had to rebuild their emotional infrastructure from scratch.
Healing Through Ketamine Therapy
A supervised ketamine protocol opened the door for deep trauma processing, revealing forgotten abuse and emotional blockages.
It became a turning point for compassion, communication, and reconnection in their marriage.
Authenticity Over Perfection
As therapists, they felt pressure to “walk the talk,” but real healing came when they dropped the performance and embraced their own messy growth.
“The best marriages aren’t perfect—they’re honest and evolving.”
Relearning Safety Together
Tarah’s trauma responses affected their intimacy and communication, and EJ had to learn not to retreat during conflict.
Over time, they created a marriage where all parts of themselves could show up and be seen.
The Power of Staying
Instead of giving up, they chose to double down—on themselves, their love, and their mission to help others.
Their counseling center now helps hundreds of couples every week, born from the lessons of their hardest moments.
Guest Info
Tarah & EJ Kerwin
Podcast: Relationship Renovation
Website: relationshiprenovation.com
Instagram: @relationship.renovation
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51:51
Ep 367 Infertility, Faith, and Deliberate Spontaneity: A Marriage in Progress
Zach is joined by Dr. Brenna and Edmund Squires, a Florida-based couple navigating the complexities of marriage, faith, and long-term infertility. Married for nine years, Brenna—a psychologist and wellness consultant—and Edmund—a military veteran—share how their relationship has been shaped by both deep love and hard-fought resilience.
Their conversation explores the emotional toll of unexplained infertility, how they’ve learned to support each other through grief and disappointment, and the importance of prioritizing their marriage above all else. They also discuss their faith and the role it plays in their decisions, and they open up about maintaining intimacy during a prolonged fertility journey—introducing the term "deliberate spontaneity" as a way to keep connection alive even amid stress.
Whether you're navigating your own fertility challenges or simply working to grow stronger together, this episode is full of vulnerability, wisdom, and hope.
Key Takeaways
Infertility Is a Couple’s Issue, Not Just One Partner’s Burden
Initially, Brenna bore the brunt of testing and treatment. They had a breakthrough moment where they decided to re-center as a team—emotionally, physically, and spiritually.
"Deliberate Spontaneity" in the Bedroom
Trying to conceive can quickly turn sex into a chore. They’ve adapted by planning spontaneity—romanticizing required intimacy so it stays emotionally fulfilling and connected.
Open Communication as an Anchor
Long conversations, emotional check-ins, and apologies are core practices in their marriage.
Brenna's mental health training adds insight, but it's mutual vulnerability that creates safety and closeness.
Supporting Others Through Their Story
Out of their own experience, Brenna and Edmund have launched monthly webinars and resources for couples navigating infertility.
Their goal: help couples strengthen their relationship first, so they’re not starting their family journey from a place of disconnect.
Learn more about Dr. Brenna and Edmond Squires at https://www.encourageandempowerwellness.com/
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Look... every couple struggles. You fight too much; you're bored; sex is either okay (or rare); maybe you're even considering divorce. OR... maybe your marriage is actually pretty good, but you want to go deeper. In this podcast, straight-talking marriage therapist Zach Brittle tackle the most common complaints virtually every marriage experience. Along the way, they reveal the science behind strong relationships and talk about what's really going on for couples. Topics include conflict, communication, compatibility, money, sex, in-laws, infidelity, time-management, future dreams, and more. If you want relief? A deeper connection? A new way forward...? Then you've got to find out what's REALLY going on in your marriage. That's what this podcast is about. You can learn more about Zach, and his alternatives to traditional therapy at marriagetherapyradio.com.