What comes to mind when you hear the phrase “maintenance sex”? For a lot of people, it feels unromantic - maybe even a little cringy. It doesn’t sound poetic or passionate. But what if we’re thinking about it all wrong? In this episode, we’re challenging the way we see maintenance sex. Instead of seeing it as leftovers or a chore, what if we saw it as a sacred act of love, something we choose to do, not because we’re wildly turned on, but because we care about keeping that thread of intimacy alive? Maintenance sex is about presence, not just passion. Intention, not obligation. It’s about choosing to stay physically connected through the messy middle of real life—when you’re tired, busy, or not exactly in the mood—but still want to touch, laugh, kiss, and share that part of ourselves. If you’ve been feeling disconnected or missing the spark, this episode is for you.
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Episode 377 - Good Enough Sex
Have you ever found yourself thinking, “We should have sex… but I’m just not feeling it” - only to go through the motions and walk away feeling disconnected? You’re not alone. In this episode, we’re talking about a concept that might just change how you think about intimacy: Good Enough Sex. It’s a model developed by sex therapists Barry and Emily McCarthy that shifts the goal of sex away from pressure and perfection and toward emotional connection. We’ll talk about why sex in long-term relationships doesn’t need to be earth-shattering every time to be meaningful. You'll hear why letting go of unrealistic expectations can actually make intimacy more enjoyable, and how “just okay” sex can still be deeply satisfying when it’s rooted in mutual respect, presence, and love. This episode is for anyone who’s ever felt the weight of performance in the bedroom and wondered if they were the only one. (Spoiler: you’re not.)
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Episode 376 - The Enneagram And Sex
Why do you react the way you do in sexual situations, whether it’s craving something specific, avoiding certain dynamics, or feeling stuck in the same patterns? And why does your partner seem to approach sex so differently? In this episode, we explore how the Enneagram can shed light on your unique relationship to intimacy. The Enneagram isn’t just another personality test - it’s a deep dive into the core fears, desires, and motivations that shape how we show up in the world, including in our sex lives. Each of the nine types brings its own emotional lens to relationships, and when you begin to recognize those patterns in yourself and your partner, things start to make a lot more sense. This episode isn’t about putting you in a box. It’s about offering a new perspective - one that can help you grow in self-awareness, communicate more clearly, and build a more connected and compassionate intimate life. Enneagram Books: The Road Back To You - a basic primer on the enneagram and the types The Path Between Us - about how each type in relationship The Wisdom of the Enneagram - an indepth look at enneagram and each type Sex and the Enneagram - A Guide to Passionate Relationships for the 9 personality types
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Episode 375 - Sexual Discipline
What if sexual discipline isn’t about restriction, but about freedom? In this episode, I’m exploring a concept that doesn’t get much airtime in Christian marriage spaces: sexual discipline within marriage. Too often, it’s framed as something just for singles, something to “hold onto” until marriage. But what if it’s actually a key to deeper connection, emotional wholeness, and a healthier sex life with your spouse? I’ll talk about how sexual discipline isn’t about control for control’s sake, but about learning to lead ourselves well. It’s a practice that can help you show up fully in your marriage - free from pressure, fear, or shame.
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Episode 374 - The Marriage Is Great…Except for Sex
You’ve probably heard it, or maybe even said it: “Our marriage is great… except for the sex.” On the surface, it sounds minor. The friendship is solid, the parenting is on point, and there’s hardly any conflict. But a lackluster sex life isn’t just a small crack in an otherwise strong foundation - it’s often a sign of something deeper. In this episode, I’m explaining why sexual disconnect in a marriage is rarely just about sex. I’ll talk about how issues like emotional distance, unresolved conflict, or even spiritual disconnection can quietly build up and show themselves in the bedroom. And more importantly, I’ll offer ideas for how to begin healing, not just your sex life, but the connection underneath it all.
As a Certified Sex & Marriage Coach, and a member of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints, Amanda Louder helps conservative Christian women love their sex life!
In this podcast, Amanda helps women embrace their sexuality so that they can become the woman they were created to be. She teaches you how to integrate sexuality into your marriage in a loving and healthy way, get rid of the drama and negative emotions around sex in your marriage, and develop a better relationship to yourself, your spouse, and your sexuality.
South Africa