Sex for Saints

Most of the fights in your marriage aren't problems to solve. They're paradoxes, and we get stuck the moment we try to pick a side instead of accepting both. In this episode, I dig into why our faith is built floor to ceiling on paradoxes, why the Stockdale Paradox (brutal honesty plus unshakable faith) separates couples who heal from couples who quietly erode, and why even the word "cleave" asks you to cling and stand apart at the same time. I share how my clients broke a three-year standoff not by resolving their paradox but by stepping into the middle of it. If you've been waiting for the tension in your marriage to disappear before things get good, this one's for you.

What if the problem in your sex life isn't really about sex at all? In this episode, I'm talking about emotional safety and the powerful role it plays in both your marriage and your sexual relationship. We'll look at the patterns that slowly break down emotional safety, including criticism, defensiveness, dismissal, and shame, as well as what both partners can do to rebuild trust and connection. I'll also help you recognize when you may be contributing to an emotionally unsafe environment and show you how curiosity, accountability, repair, and consistency can begin to change those patterns. Because the deepest intimacy happens when both partners feel safe enough to be fully known.

Have you ever stopped yourself from feeling close to your spouse because you were worried about where it might lead? In this episode, I explore why arousal, or what the ancient Greeks called Eros, is about so much more than sex. I talk about how learning to experience desire without pressure or expectation can create deeper trust, stronger emotional connection, and a more vibrant marriage. If you've ever felt like affection automatically comes with an agenda, this episode will help you discover how allowing Eros to simply exist can transform both your relationship and your intimate connection.

In this final episode of my five-part series, I challenge the idea that our sexuality is the "natural man" and offer a new framework for understanding what King Benjamin was really teaching in Mosiah 3:19. Together, we'll explore how ego, not desire, is often what keeps us disconnected from God and from our spouse, and how awareness, agency, and alignment can transform our relationships. If you've been following this series, this episode brings everything together into a hopeful path forward. If you're just joining us, I encourage you to go back and listen to the first four episodes to fully understand the journey and how these ideas build on one another. You can find those first four episodes here: 428, 429, 430, 431.

What if one of the most familiar teachings about sexuality deserves a second look? In this episode, I take a careful look at Alma 39 and the teaching that sexual sin is "next to murder," exploring the historical origins of that interpretation, how it became so embedded in Latter-Day Saint culture, and why I believe the scripture may be saying something very different. I also discuss the lasting impact this belief has had on individuals and marriages, especially through shame and fear, and how a closer reading of the text can open the door to healing, healthier intimacy, and a more compassionate understanding of God. If this teaching has ever shaped the way you view yourself, your sexuality, or your marriage, I hope this episode gives you a new perspective to prayerfully consider. 
I would suggest that you listen to the first 3 episodes in this series before listening to this episode. You can find those here: 428, 429, and 430