A Little Help For Our Friends

Your loved one is sober. They’re getting help. They’re doing better.
So why is it still so hard to trust them?
In this episode, Dr. Kibby McMahon explains why trust doesn’t automatically return when someone enters addiction recovery. After months or years of broken promises, secrecy, unpredictability, or hurt, you may still be waiting for proof that things are really different.
You’ll learn why recovery and rebuilding trust often happen on two different timelines, why constantly checking or monitoring your loved one can make things harder, and what actually helps trust grow again.
Dr. Kibby also shares practical ways to rebuild trust through consistency, clear agreements, realistic expectations, and boundaries, without feeling like you have to become your loved one’s detective.
If you love someone recovering from addiction, you don’t have to force yourself to trust them overnight. Trust can be rebuilt slowly, through consistent actions over time.
🔬 Join our Brown University research study
KulaMind is working with Brown University on a research study supporting loved ones of people in addiction recovery. If someone you love is taking steps to cut down on drug use, you may be eligible to receive 3 months of free coaching with Dr. Kibby McMahon as part of the study.
Learn more and see if you’re eligible:
https://studies.buildclinical.com/bcfs002065-rih-ramsey-131

What happens when you’re overwhelmed, triggered, or emotionally flooded and the person you love just doesn’t seem to understand?
In this episode, Dr. Kibby gets personal. Fresh from an experience that left her feeling overwhelmed and unseen, she shares what it feels like to be on the other side of an empathy breakdown.
She explores why feeling judged or invalidated can turn an already difficult emotion into anger, resentment, or an explosion, and why simply feeling understood can make such a powerful difference.
Kibby also looks at the responsibility on both sides: how to communicate what’s triggering you without attacking the other person, and how loved ones can listen, validate, and show that they’re genuinely trying to understand.
In this episode:
• What an empathy breakdown can feel like
• Why feeling unseen can intensify emotional reactions
• The difference between validation and agreement
• How judgment and shame can fuel conflict
• How to communicate your triggers more effectively
• Finding the balance between accommodation and learning to cope
• Why feeling seen can create connection, even when the problem can’t be fixed
If you love someone who struggles with intense emotions, BPD, addiction, or other mental health challenges, KulaMind teaches practical skills to help you communicate, reduce conflict, and support both your loved one and yourself.

How can experiences from childhood continue to shape our relationships decades later? And can trauma responses actually be changed?
In this episode, Dr. Kibby McMahon sits down with psychotherapist and executive coach Jessica Connell, LCSW, to explore developmental trauma, EMDR, and the ways our early experiences can influence how we connect with others.
Jessica explains what developmental trauma can look like, from major experiences of abuse or instability to moments of shame, rejection, or emotional disconnection that stay with us over time. They discuss how these experiences can show up later as difficulty trusting, fear of conflict, emotional reactivity, withdrawal, or feeling unsafe even in otherwise healthy relationships.
They also take a closer look at EMDR: what happens during a session, how bilateral stimulation is used, and how trauma-focused work can help people respond differently to triggers in the present.
In this episode:
• What developmental trauma actually means
• How childhood experiences shape adult relationships
• Why certain situations can trigger surprisingly intense reactions
• The “tiger and turtle” dynamic in relationships
• What it means to feel emotionally safe with another person
• How EMDR works and what a session can look like
• Why healing doesn’t mean never getting triggered again
• How understanding our patterns can help us communicate differently
Jessica Connell is a psychotherapist, executive coach, and owner of Confident Mind Psychotherapy and Coaching in New York City.
If you’ve ever wondered why certain relationship dynamics affect you so deeply, or how experiences from your past might still be influencing your reactions today, this conversation offers a compassionate look at where those patterns come from and how they can begin to change.

When someone you love gets sober, it can feel like everything should finally be okay. But addiction recovery isn’t an on/off switch, and for loved ones, this stage can bring its own fear, uncertainty, and challenges.
In this episode, Dr. Kibby McMahon shares six research-backed ways you can support someone in addiction recovery while also protecting your own well-being.
We cover:
• How to make treatment and recovery easier to access
• Why reinforcing healthy recovery behaviors matters
• How to communicate without escalating shame or conflict
• How to prepare for the possibility of an overdose
• Why your own mental health and safety matter too
• How to recognize underlying mental health and relationship issues during recovery
Dr. Kibby also shares her own experience supporting her mother through alcoholism, relapse, and long-term sobriety, and why recovery required healing not only for her mother, but for their relationship too.
We’re also excited to share that KulaMind, in partnership with researchers at Brown University, is studying KulaMind Recovery, a program specifically designed to support loved ones of people recovering from substance use disorders.
If you or someone you love is in addiction recovery and you’re interested in participating, check the link in the show notes to learn more.
Learn more about KulaMind and get support for yourself and your loved one.

Link for study: https://studies.buildclinical.com/bcfs002065-rih-ramsey-131/

#AddictionRecovery #SubstanceUseRecovery #FamilySupport #MentalHealth #AddictionSupport #Recovery

In the season 6 finale of A Little Help for Our Friends, Dr. Kibby McMahon looks back on a year of major change, both personally and professionally, and shares the three biggest lessons she’s taking with her into the next chapter.
Kibby talks about what it means to let go of roles and relationship patterns that no longer fit, why real growth often comes from consistency and the right support, and what she’s learned from working with families affected by mental illness and addiction.
She also reflects on stepping into a new role after a major change to the podcast, building KulaMind, growing an online community from scratch, and learning to become more comfortable being seen and leading.
Most importantly, this episode explores something that has become increasingly clear through this work: mental illness is rarely a one-person problem. It affects partners, parents, children, caregivers, and entire family systems.
If you’ve ever felt stuck in an old version of yourself, struggled to support someone you love, or wondered how to keep going when change feels uncomfortable, this episode is for you.
A Little Help for Our Friends will be back for Season 7 after a short break.