A Little Help For Our Friends

Message us here!Well, 2025 is almost over and by all accounts, it was one of the hardest for mental health across America. The past year felt like emotional sandpaper: unstable jobs, AI anxiety, and a constant stream of obligations that made even simple days feel crowded. Beneath all that noise, a quieter force did much of the damage: loneliness. In this episode, Dr. Kibby unpacks why January often hits hardest after the holidays, why being surrounded by people can still feel empty, and how one-way relationships quietly burn us out.Dr. Kibby discusses a candid look at over-giving, how being so focused on other people can lead to a sneaky sense of loneliness. She breaks loneliness into three solvable parts: 1. Building real emotional support, 2. Being seen for who we really are, and 3. Restoring reciprocity so care flows both ways. She also talks about finding community where you might not expect it. If your local circle doesn’t yet hold the parts of you that crave air, that’s a bridge, not a dead end. The goal isn’t more social plans; it’s richer resonance. By focusing on one small habit each week (one ask, one honest share, one reciprocal ritual) you can turn the quiet of January into a reset for connection.Happy new year, Little Helpers. We're grateful for this community and see you in 2026Support the showIf you're navigating someone's mental health or emotional issues, join KulaMind, our community and support platform. In KulaMind, we'll help you set healthy boundaries, advocate for yourself, and support your loved one. Follow @kulamind on Instagram for podcast updates and science-backed insights on staying sane while loving someone emotionally explosive. For more info about this podcast, check out: www.alittlehelpforourfriends.com

Message us here!Ever felt like your worth depends on how useful you are to other people? Turning the big 4-0 pushed me to confront a lifelong habit of people pleasing. In this episode, I talk about people pleasing: how it took root in chaos, hid behind “being nice,” and quietly drained my energy, confidence, and joy. I unpack what research says about what "people pleasing" is, how chronic pleasing links to mental health issues, and why so many of us end up orbiting charismatic "takers" who love the spotlight while we shrink to keep them happy.I dig into the "Echo- Narcissus Syndrome": the dynamic between a people-pleaser and a narcissist. I talk about my own tendency to fall into the Echo-Narcissus Syndrome and how it's destroyed my relationships in the past. Then I walk through the practical, evidence-based strategies for breaking free of this syndrome. I'm learning to receiving without guilt, choosing mutual relationships over one-way giving, and navigating holiday pressures without abandoning myself. If you also find yourself falling into toxic dynamics where you give and give and give while losing yourself, then this episode is for you. Together, we can figure out how to honor our empathy & generosity without feeling used. Resources:Moral-Jiménez, M. D. L. V., & Mena-Baumann, A. (2024). Emotional Dependence and Narcissism in Couple Relationships: Echo and Narcissus Syndrome. Behavioral Sciences, 14(12), 1190.Support the showIf you're navigating someone's mental health or emotional issues, join KulaMind, our community and support platform. In KulaMind, we'll help you set healthy boundaries, advocate for yourself, and support your loved one. Follow @kulamind on Instagram for podcast updates and science-backed insights on staying sane while loving someone emotionally explosive. For more info about this podcast, check out: www.alittlehelpforourfriends.com

Message us here!A mother, a son, and a community caught between love and stigma: the new movie "Rosemead" (produced by Lucy Liu) hits like a quiet earthquake. After watching the early screening, I ugly-cried when I found out that it was based on a true story. Because the story tackles the complexities of loving someone with mental illness, I just had to talk about it here. In this episode, I sit down with "Rosemead" actor Anzi De Benedetto to unpack how a true story about schizophrenia, grief, and culture moves beyond clichés and into the messy details of real life. What does support look like when friends don’t have the right language? How does a family navigate care when stigma and “face” loom over every choice?Anzi shares his path to the role of Stan, a well-intentioned friend whose lighthearted validation brings comfort, but only to a certain level. We explore the line between empathy and minimization, the moment when a “pep talk” must give way to professional help, and why understanding psychosis as an ongoing condition, not just a singular event. The conversation expands into the cultural dynamics inside Chinese American communities depicted in the film.Still reeling from the emotional impact of the movie, I had to ask Anzi about his journey with acting that brought him to "Rosemead." He offers a rare look into the acting craft as emotional science: breathwork, body cues, and set safety over mythology, mirroring the same regulation skills I also teach. If Rosemead is screening near you, go see it and tell us what you think. Fair warning- it's not for the faint of heart. Bring tissues. Resources:Follow Anzi on his Instagram: @its_anziGet updates on "Rosemead": @rosemeadfilmSupport the showIf you're navigating someone's mental health or emotional issues, join KulaMind, our community and support platform. In KulaMind, we'll help you set healthy boundaries, advocate for yourself, and support your loved one. Follow @kulamind on Instagram for podcast updates and science-backed insights on staying sane while loving someone emotionally explosive. For more info about this podcast, check out: www.alittlehelpforourfriends.com

Message us here!Holiday gatherings promise connection, but so many of us walk in bracing for old patterns: the comment that lands like a dart, the sibling rivalry that never grew up, the invisible work of keeping the peace. In this episode, I delve into  why this season can feel so raw and how to survive it when your family reunions don't resemble a Hallmark card.I also talk about this year’s surge in anxiety and grief, the rise in estrangement, and the isolation that lingers after the holiday lights come down in January. This time might be stressful under normal circumstances, but it's a whole other thing when you have dysfunctional or even "toxic" family.If you're stuck in old unhealthy patterns with your family, you might not realize how much holding onto a "healing fantasy" is keeping you trapped. I unpack the concept of a “healing fantasy,” that deep, often hidden wish that a parent will finally see you, a sibling will get help, or conflict will stop for good. Then I suggest some practical tools from DBT that will get you focused on what really matters to you this holiday season.Support the showIf you're navigating someone's mental health or emotional issues, join KulaMind, our community and support platform. In KulaMind, we'll help you set healthy boundaries, advocate for yourself, and support your loved one. Follow @kulamind on Instagram for podcast updates and science-backed insights on staying sane while loving someone emotionally explosive. For more info about this podcast, check out: www.alittlehelpforourfriends.com

Message us here!Ever feel a conversation snap from “let’s talk” to “we’re yelling” in seconds? When you find yourself butting heads with someone over a "sensitive" topic, it can seem impossible to get on the same page. In this episode, I unpack a research-backed way to dissolve stalemates and actually influence change without steamrolling the person you love. The trick isn’t the perfect comeback: it’s validation, or "tactical empathy."I talk about the clinical science behind validation that reveals why it's so powerful biologically. Then I talk through practical steps for using validation to go from talking AT each other to talking TO each other. These strategies lowers defensiveness, overwhelm, and hostility. Then, I walk through everyday examples (from talking about drinking and mental health to bedtime battles with a stubborn toddler)and show how to pivot from adversaries to teammates facing the same problem.I also cover what to do when someone shuts down entirely, how to validate the wall itself, and why this approach is especially powerful with sadness and shame. If you’ve been stuck in circular fights, these tools can open a path to collaboration, progress, and a little peace at home.Support the showIf you're navigating someone's mental health or emotional issues, join KulaMind, our community and support platform. In KulaMind, we'll help you set healthy boundaries, advocate for yourself, and support your loved one. Follow @kulamind on Instagram for podcast updates and science-backed insights on staying sane while loving someone emotionally explosive. For more info about this podcast, check out: www.alittlehelpforourfriends.com