A Little Help For Our Friends

This episode describes how to respond when a teen, adolescent or young adult says they want to hurt themselves or kill themselves.

It's horrifying when someone as young as 12-20 years old says they want to take their own life. When a teen or young adult confesses thoughts of hurting themselves or even hints at a plan, panic often kicks in...but what you do next can mean the difference between life and tragedy. In this episode, Dr. Kibby describes how you can transform fear into effective, life-saving support. If you're a parent, clinician, educator, or anyone caring for at-risk youth, this episode will change your perspective on how to handle these terrifying moments with compassion, clarity, and confidence. In this honest conversation, you'll discover why traditional reactions often do more harm than good and how shifting from control to understanding can unlock trust and safety.

Dr. Kibby shares insights from her nearly lifelong work with mental health crises as well as adolescent and family Dialectical Behavior Therapy expert Dr. Marcus Rodriguez. Drawing from what she learned from Dr. Rodriguez, she emphasizes the importance of treating the whole family and system instead of isolated individuals. You'll learn why vague answers from teens are actually a sign of trust-building, not apathy or indifference, and how impulsivity heightens the risk of dangerous behaviors that require immediate, delicate intervention. We break down practical, step-by-step frameworks for assessing suicidality, from asking direct questions about plans and access to means, to understanding the importance of safety measures like environment restriction and involving the support system. You’ll hear specific scripts designed to validate pain without validating harmful coping strategies, and how to balance genuine empathy with concrete safety protocols.

The core message: you’re not just stopping a moment of crisis- you're working with the teen, their family, and their community, to understand their pain and help them find hope. Interpersonal triggers like breakups, bullying, and social rejection are particularly devastating for teens, and how they differ from adult experiences. Dr. Kibby describes how you can meet teens where they are, by respecting their vague answers, impulsive actions, and emotional intensity, and why working systemically is essential for lasting safety.

Remember: Asking directly about suicide does not plant the idea; it saves lives. Whether you’re facing an immediate crisis or working to prevent one, this episode is your essential guide to understanding and intervening with care, respect, and hope.

Trigger warning: Sensitive topics discussed include self-harm, suicidal ideation, and family trauma.If you’re involved with teens or young adults, or if you simply want to learn how to support someone in their darkest hour, this episode is a must-listen.

Resources:

Parents, partners and other loved ones of people struggling with self harm and suicide, check out ⁠⁠KulaMind⁠⁠. Book a free call with Dr. Kibby to learn how she can help.
Adolescents, teens and families in California in crisis should learn about Dr. Rodriguez's Dialectical Behavior Therapy program at Youth and Family Institute

This episode explores the complexities of Antisocial Personality Disorder (ASPD) and its impact on relationships.

Are you close to someone who's charming but unreliable, impulsive, and manipulative? Dr. Kibby delves into the behaviors often associated with ASPD, a personality disorder that comes with a pattern of violating other people's rights, lack of empathy, and dangerous behaviors for thrill or power. She discusses nuanced differences between ASPD and other disorders, and learn how to navigate relationships with individuals who exhibit these traits.

Dr. Kibby discusses potential treatments, including cognitive behavioral therapy and mentalization-based therapy, and offers strategies for loved ones to set boundaries and motivate change. This episode is essential for anyone struggling to understand a loved one's challenging behavior and seeking effective ways to cope and connect.

Resources:
If you need support with a difficult relationship with someone who has mental health problems (antisocial personality disorder, narcissism, anger issues, BPD, trauma), check out ⁠KulaMind⁠. Book a free call with Dr. Kibby to learn how she can help.

This episode dives into the mental health conditions and behaviors often mistaken for narcissism.

When someone you love struggles with mental health and acts selfishly, the internet will immediately tell you that they're "a narcissist." However, you might be overlooking an underlying condition that just looks like narcissism on the surface. In this episode, Dr. Kibby reveals the five disorders frequently confused with narcissistic personality disorder, including: 1. borderline personality disorder; 2. attention deficit and hyperactivity disorder (ADHD); 3. autism, 4. complex post traumatic stress disorder (cPTSD), and 5.obsessive compulsive personality disorder (OCPD).

Dr. Kibby breaks down why these five conditions share similar behavior as narcissistic personality disorder but have critical differences in deeper motivation, triggers and beliefs. For example, BPD’s intense fear of abandonment mirrors narcissistic fears of devaluation, yet stems from different core needs. Understand how autism’s social deficits and rigid rules can appear as arrogance but are rooted in neurodivergent processes. Trauma disorders like complex PTSD create self-protective behaviors in relationships, driven by past wounds needing healing. ADHD can be mistaken for selfishness, reflecting impulsivity and attention struggles.

This episode is essential if you’re frustrated by how a loved one's treating you but you get the sense that the label "narcissist" doesn't tell the whole story. Misdiagnosing these conditions can lead to frustration and missed opportunities for connection. Learn the nuanced distinctions that empower you to respond with empathy and insight, whether in personal relationships or professional settings.

Resources:
If you need support with a difficult relationship with someone who has mental health problems (narcissism, anger issues, BPD, trauma), check out KulaMind. Book a free call with Dr. Kibby to learn how she can help.

This episode breaks down what manipulation is and why it's so common in relationships with people struggling with mental health. It also gives actionable strategies for resisting the effects of manipulation.

Have you ever been in a relationship where you found it hard to think for yourself? You somehow make decisions that are out of character and doubt yourself so much, you're not sure what's real? In this episode, Dr. Kibby exposes the truth behind these tactics: what manipulation really is, how it shows up, and most importantly, how to regain control.

Deep dive ahead: you'll discover why manipulation isn’t always "evil," but an abuse of normal strategies for communication and social influence. We're being manipulated all the time by ads, entertainment, sales, and even our health providers. But it becomes harmful when it robs you of your autonomy and sacrifices your wellbeing for the manipulator's gain. Dr. Kibby unpacks concrete tactics, like gaslighting, guilt-tripping, love withdrawal, surveillance, and coercive control, that abusers use to undermine your decision-making. She explores how these tactics often leverage your vulnerabilities and blur your sense of choice and agency, whether in romantic, family, or workplace dynamics.

Feeling manipulated is common in relationships with people with mental illnesses like borderline personality disorder, narcissistic personality disorder, or trauma. Actually BOTH the individual with disorders and their loved ones often feel manipulated. Dr. Kibby also breaks down the research behind manipulation in BPD and narcissistic abuse.
Why does this matter? Because understanding these subtle tactics can protect your mental well-being, help you spot emotional tricks early, and empower you to set healthier boundaries. This episode offers practical strategies and tools to disarm manipulation’s grip and reclaim your personal agency. Whether you're navigating toxic family ties, romantic relationships, or workplace conflicts, this episode reveals the unseen manipulative tactics at play and how to dismantle them.

Resources:
If you need more hands-on help with feeling manipulated by people with mental health or addiction challenges, check out ⁠KulaMind

This episode talks about setting healthy boundaries in high-conflict relationships with people who have intense, dysregulated emotions.

If you're in an emotionally charged or high-conflict relationship, you struggle to say "no" or assert yourself. If you’ve ever felt blindsided, criticized, or powerless in high-conflict moments with loved ones, this episode reveals the proven framework that transforms chaos into clarity. Dr. Kibby talks about common mistakes with setting boundaries that make things even worse. Because boundaries are essential for healthy relationships, she shares the secret sauce from Dialectical Behavior Therapy and clinical science to set boundaries that stick without escalating fights. You’ll learn how to communicate precisely, protect your autonomy, and foster genuine connection even when emotions run high.

Plus, she shares real-life examples (like managing rage outbursts from loved ones with trauma or mental health challenges) and how to respond without losing your mind or your heart. Whether you’re navigating family drama, a difficult partner, or teen conflicts, mastering these boundary skills can prevent burnout and create healthier, more resilient relationships. Tune in and learn how to turn high-conflict moments into opportunities for growth and mutual understanding.

Resources:
If you need more hands-on help with setting boundaries in your high-conflict relationships, check out KulaMind