A Little Help For Our Friends

Message us here!A mother, a son, and a community caught between love and stigma: the new movie "Rosemead" (produced by Lucy Liu) hits like a quiet earthquake. After watching the early screening, I ugly-cried when I found out that it was based on a true story. Because the story tackles the complexities of loving someone with mental illness, I just had to talk about it here. In this episode, I sit down with "Rosemead" actor Anzi De Benedetto to unpack how a true story about schizophrenia, grief, and culture moves beyond clichés and into the messy details of real life. What does support look like when friends don’t have the right language? How does a family navigate care when stigma and “face” loom over every choice?Anzi shares his path to the role of Stan, a well-intentioned friend whose lighthearted validation brings comfort, but only to a certain level. We explore the line between empathy and minimization, the moment when a “pep talk” must give way to professional help, and why understanding psychosis as an ongoing condition, not just a singular event. The conversation expands into the cultural dynamics inside Chinese American communities depicted in the film.Still reeling from the emotional impact of the movie, I had to ask Anzi about his journey with acting that brought him to "Rosemead." He offers a rare look into the acting craft as emotional science: breathwork, body cues, and set safety over mythology, mirroring the same regulation skills I also teach. If Rosemead is screening near you, go see it and tell us what you think. Fair warning- it's not for the faint of heart. Bring tissues. Resources:Follow Anzi on his Instagram: @its_anziGet updates on "Rosemead": @rosemeadfilmSupport the showIf you're navigating someone's mental health or emotional issues, join KulaMind, our community and support platform. In KulaMind, we'll help you set healthy boundaries, advocate for yourself, and support your loved one. Follow @kulamind on Instagram for podcast updates and science-backed insights on staying sane while loving someone emotionally explosive. For more info about this podcast, check out: www.alittlehelpforourfriends.com

Message us here!Holiday gatherings promise connection, but so many of us walk in bracing for old patterns: the comment that lands like a dart, the sibling rivalry that never grew up, the invisible work of keeping the peace. In this episode, I delve into  why this season can feel so raw and how to survive it when your family reunions don't resemble a Hallmark card.I also talk about this year’s surge in anxiety and grief, the rise in estrangement, and the isolation that lingers after the holiday lights come down in January. This time might be stressful under normal circumstances, but it's a whole other thing when you have dysfunctional or even "toxic" family.If you're stuck in old unhealthy patterns with your family, you might not realize how much holding onto a "healing fantasy" is keeping you trapped. I unpack the concept of a “healing fantasy,” that deep, often hidden wish that a parent will finally see you, a sibling will get help, or conflict will stop for good. Then I suggest some practical tools from DBT that will get you focused on what really matters to you this holiday season.Support the showIf you're navigating someone's mental health or emotional issues, join KulaMind, our community and support platform. In KulaMind, we'll help you set healthy boundaries, advocate for yourself, and support your loved one. Follow @kulamind on Instagram for podcast updates and science-backed insights on staying sane while loving someone emotionally explosive. For more info about this podcast, check out: www.alittlehelpforourfriends.com

Message us here!Ever feel a conversation snap from “let’s talk” to “we’re yelling” in seconds? When you find yourself butting heads with someone over a "sensitive" topic, it can seem impossible to get on the same page. In this episode, I unpack a research-backed way to dissolve stalemates and actually influence change without steamrolling the person you love. The trick isn’t the perfect comeback: it’s validation, or "tactical empathy."I talk about the clinical science behind validation that reveals why it's so powerful biologically. Then I talk through practical steps for using validation to go from talking AT each other to talking TO each other. These strategies lowers defensiveness, overwhelm, and hostility. Then, I walk through everyday examples (from talking about drinking and mental health to bedtime battles with a stubborn toddler)and show how to pivot from adversaries to teammates facing the same problem.I also cover what to do when someone shuts down entirely, how to validate the wall itself, and why this approach is especially powerful with sadness and shame. If you’ve been stuck in circular fights, these tools can open a path to collaboration, progress, and a little peace at home.Support the showIf you're navigating someone's mental health or emotional issues, join KulaMind, our community and support platform. In KulaMind, we'll help you set healthy boundaries, advocate for yourself, and support your loved one. Follow @kulamind on Instagram for podcast updates and science-backed insights on staying sane while loving someone emotionally explosive. For more info about this podcast, check out: www.alittlehelpforourfriends.com

Message us here!Are you avoiding talking to your kids about topics that are just...awkward? In this episode, I chat with Dr. Elsa Friis, clinical psychologist and VP of Product at Alongside, to unpack a practical way to tackle taboo topics (sex, porn, consent, screens) without burning the bridge you’re trying to build. Dr. Friis takes us from a group home with twelve boys to community-led parenting programs in Kenya, showing how cultural humility changes results. Warmth, respect, and safety are universal, but a mismatch in how love is shown fuels conflict. We dig into concrete tools: visual schedules that calm bedtime battles, shared calendars that grow autonomy, and “ice cream chats” that make awkward feel doable. We outline scripts for starting the sex conversation early, framing online exposure without shame, and setting boundaries that still invite honesty.We also explore how technology can extend, not replace, human care. Alongside for Families uses an AI wellness coach to help parents and youth practice tough conversations, build study plans, and share the right info at the right time. Teens get a private space with clear safety rails; parents receive high-level summaries and immediate alerts for risks like self-harm. Resources:Dr. Friis is giving Little Helpers a free 30 days to Alongside with the discount code FRIEND30! Try it here: https://www.alongside.care/familySupport the showIf you're navigating someone's mental health or emotional issues, join KulaMind, our community and support platform. In KulaMind, we'll help you set healthy boundaries, advocate for yourself, and support your loved one. Follow @kulamind on Instagram for podcast updates and science-backed insights on staying sane while loving someone emotionally explosive. For more info about this podcast, check out: www.alittlehelpforourfriends.com

Message us here!What if you've tried everything, but are still depressed? Did you know that  one third of people with depression don’t get enough relief from antidepressants? In this episode, I talk to psychiatrist and CMO of Neuronetics, Dr. Geoffrey Grammer, about what should people do when our mainstream treatments for depression fails us. He sheds light on new advancements for treatment-resistant depression: transcranial magnetic stimulation (TMS) and nasal esketamine, two evidence-based treatments that target the brain differently and raise the odds after meds stall.We first talk about just how disappointing traditional medications and psychotherapies can be for chronically depressed patients. Then, Dr. Grammer explains how TMS works (precise, noninvasive brain stimulation that strengthens underactive mood circuits), what a session feels like, timelines for improvement, and why side effects are minimal compared to systemic drugs. We also explore nasal esketamine (Spravato) and how it works. Along the way, we dig into augmentation meds, common pitfalls, and the role of psychotherapy in turning short-term gains into lasting change.Real patient stories ground the science in hope: remission after years of struggle, renewed presence with family, and the hard-won confidence that life can feel different. If you’ve tried two antidepressants without clear progress or hate the side effects, your next step shouldn’t be “another pill” - it should be to advocate for yourself with your providers and explore these new options.Resources:NeuroStar website: https://neurostar.com/NeuroStar's assessment quiz for depression: https://neurostar.com/self-assessment-for-depression/Find a doctor page: https://neurostar.com/enter-zip-code/?as=0Connect to Dr. Grammer on social:https://www.instagram.com/NeuroStarAdvancedTMS/https://www.facebook.com/NeuroStarAdvancedTMS/https://www.youtube.com/user/NeuroStarTMSTherapySupport the showIf you're navigating someone's mental health or emotional issues, join KulaMind, our community and support platform. In KulaMind, we'll help you set healthy boundaries, advocate for yourself, and support your loved one. Follow @kulamind on Instagram for podcast updates and science-backed insights on staying sane while loving someone emotionally explosive. For more info about this podcast, check out: www.alittlehelpforourfriends.com