A Little Help For Our Friends

One minute, you’re the person who understands them better than anyone. The next, you’re the enemy. What causes that sudden shift?
In this episode, Dr. Kibby McMahon explains what’s commonly called “splitting” in borderline personality disorder (BPD), why intense emotions can lead someone to see themselves or the people they love as all good or all bad, and what’s happening psychologically when that shift occurs.
She also breaks down what loved ones can actually do in the moment, including how to stay grounded, validate emotions without agreeing with hurtful behavior, set boundaries, and avoid getting pulled into the same cycle. Pasted text (2)
If you love someone with BPD, intense emotions, mental illness, or addiction and you’re trying to support them without losing yourself in the process, this episode is for you.
Learn more about KulaMind and support for loved ones at KulaMind

What is social media actually doing to our personalities, relationships, and sense of self?
Dr. Kibby McMahon sits down with social media strategist and Pugs Media founder Connor Flannery to explore the psychology of growing up online.
They talk about why negative comments can affect us so deeply, how parasocial relationships can become a substitute for real connection, what happens to empathy when our interactions happen through screens, and why social media may reward traits like narcissism and social climbing.
Connor also shares his experience building an audience that generates hundreds of millions of views, how online criticism once pushed him to step away from YouTube, and why he now recommends that creators stop reading their comment sections.
They also explore a bigger question: when followers, likes, views, and social status can all be quantified, does social media fundamentally change the way we see ourselves and other people?
In this episode:
• Why negative comments feel disproportionately powerful
• Parasocial relationships and one-sided connection
• How the internet may be changing empathy
• Why online interactions can feel like “junk food” for relationships
• The psychology of influencers and creators
• Narcissism, status, and the numbers behind social media
• How growing up online can shape identity and self-esteem
Learn more about KulaMind: https://www.kulamind.com

Your loved one is sober. They’re getting help. They’re doing better.
So why is it still so hard to trust them?
In this episode, Dr. Kibby McMahon explains why trust doesn’t automatically return when someone enters addiction recovery. After months or years of broken promises, secrecy, unpredictability, or hurt, you may still be waiting for proof that things are really different.
You’ll learn why recovery and rebuilding trust often happen on two different timelines, why constantly checking or monitoring your loved one can make things harder, and what actually helps trust grow again.
Dr. Kibby also shares practical ways to rebuild trust through consistency, clear agreements, realistic expectations, and boundaries, without feeling like you have to become your loved one’s detective.
If you love someone recovering from addiction, you don’t have to force yourself to trust them overnight. Trust can be rebuilt slowly, through consistent actions over time.
🔬 Join our Brown University research study
KulaMind is working with Brown University on a research study supporting loved ones of people in addiction recovery. If someone you love is taking steps to cut down on drug use, you may be eligible to receive 3 months of free coaching with Dr. Kibby McMahon as part of the study.
Learn more and see if you’re eligible:
https://studies.buildclinical.com/bcfs002065-rih-ramsey-131

What happens when you’re overwhelmed, triggered, or emotionally flooded and the person you love just doesn’t seem to understand?
In this episode, Dr. Kibby gets personal. Fresh from an experience that left her feeling overwhelmed and unseen, she shares what it feels like to be on the other side of an empathy breakdown.
She explores why feeling judged or invalidated can turn an already difficult emotion into anger, resentment, or an explosion, and why simply feeling understood can make such a powerful difference.
Kibby also looks at the responsibility on both sides: how to communicate what’s triggering you without attacking the other person, and how loved ones can listen, validate, and show that they’re genuinely trying to understand.
In this episode:
• What an empathy breakdown can feel like
• Why feeling unseen can intensify emotional reactions
• The difference between validation and agreement
• How judgment and shame can fuel conflict
• How to communicate your triggers more effectively
• Finding the balance between accommodation and learning to cope
• Why feeling seen can create connection, even when the problem can’t be fixed
If you love someone who struggles with intense emotions, BPD, addiction, or other mental health challenges, KulaMind teaches practical skills to help you communicate, reduce conflict, and support both your loved one and yourself.

How can experiences from childhood continue to shape our relationships decades later? And can trauma responses actually be changed?
In this episode, Dr. Kibby McMahon sits down with psychotherapist and executive coach Jessica Connell, LCSW, to explore developmental trauma, EMDR, and the ways our early experiences can influence how we connect with others.
Jessica explains what developmental trauma can look like, from major experiences of abuse or instability to moments of shame, rejection, or emotional disconnection that stay with us over time. They discuss how these experiences can show up later as difficulty trusting, fear of conflict, emotional reactivity, withdrawal, or feeling unsafe even in otherwise healthy relationships.
They also take a closer look at EMDR: what happens during a session, how bilateral stimulation is used, and how trauma-focused work can help people respond differently to triggers in the present.
In this episode:
• What developmental trauma actually means
• How childhood experiences shape adult relationships
• Why certain situations can trigger surprisingly intense reactions
• The “tiger and turtle” dynamic in relationships
• What it means to feel emotionally safe with another person
• How EMDR works and what a session can look like
• Why healing doesn’t mean never getting triggered again
• How understanding our patterns can help us communicate differently
Jessica Connell is a psychotherapist, executive coach, and owner of Confident Mind Psychotherapy and Coaching in New York City.
If you’ve ever wondered why certain relationship dynamics affect you so deeply, or how experiences from your past might still be influencing your reactions today, this conversation offers a compassionate look at where those patterns come from and how they can begin to change.