You're Not Crazy: A Podcast for the Adult Children of Parents with Borderline and Narcissistic Personality Disorders

When you set a boundary with a narcissistic parent, or a parent with unmanaged borderline personality disorder, they tend to push back by acting like they don't get it. They argue, they question whether your boundary is even reasonable, they pull you into a debate about whether you should have it at all. 
It's why these conversations so often end with you backing down, second-guessing yourself, and wondering if you were the unreasonable one all along.
In this episode you'll learn:
Why a parent like this pretends not to understand your boundary, and what they're actually doing when they pull you into the back and forth
The difference between setting a boundary and asking for permission, and why only one of those is your job
The "side quest" trap, where the whole conversation quietly shifts from your boundary to getting them to approve of it
What a healthy parent is able to do that yours likely can't, and why that gap isn't something you can close by trying harder
How to get clear on your boundary before you ever bring it to them, so you're not improvising under pressure
Ready to go deeper?
The Cycle Breaker's Vault is Torie's self-guided course for the adult children of parents with borderline and narcissistic traits. It covers dysfunctional family dynamics, boundaries, manipulation, grief, and reconnecting with yourself.
Learn more and get started: https://www.confidentboundaries.com/vault
Follow Torie on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/cyclebreakertherapist
Follow Torie on TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@cyclebreakertherapist
Free guide: 10 Boundary Mistakes That Keep You Stuck
If your boundaries keep blowing up or leaving you drowning in guilt, it's usually not you. Learn what problems actually get in the way of setting successful boundaries with toxic parents by downloading my free guide: https://www.confidentboundaries.com/opt-in
Support the show
A huge thank you to our podcast sponsors!
Disclaimer: This podcast is not therapy. If you’re in crisis, please call the 988 Crisis Lifeline.
You're Not Crazy is owned and produced by Torie Wiksell and Confident Boundaries, LLC.

You finally set the boundary and for about five seconds you felt proud of yourself. Then your parent pushed back and wished you could take it all back.
When you have a parent with narcissistic or unmanaged borderline personality disorder, boundaries don't land the way you were taught they would. 
These types of parents are emotionally dysregulated, rely on you to manage their feelings, and read your boundary as a threat. 
It's why so many cycle breakers quietly decide boundaries just don't work for them, when the truth is nobody ever taught them the second half of the process.
In this episode you'll learn:
What a boundary actually is
Why the same boundary lands fine with an emotionally mature person and is a complete disaster with a parent who has BPD or narcissistic traits
Why setting the boundary is only half the work
The piece that finally makes your boundaries stick
Ready to go deeper?
The Cycle Breaker's Vault is Torie's self-guided course for the adult children of parents with borderline and narcissistic traits. It covers dysfunctional family dynamics, boundaries, manipulation, grief, and reconnecting with yourself. 
Learn more and get started at confidentboundaries.com/vault
Get access to bonus content and the entire archive of episodes when you subscribe to You're Not Crazy: The Private Feed: https://www.confidentboundaries.com/private
Follow Torie on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/cyclebreakertherapist
Follow Torie on TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@cyclebreakertherapist
Support the show
A huge thank you to our podcast sponsors!
Disclaimer: This podcast is not therapy. If you’re in crisis, please call the 988 Crisis Lifeline.
You're Not Crazy is owned and produced by Torie Wiksell and Confident Boundaries, LLC.

That moment where your brain short circuits because your parent just looked you dead in the eye and insisted the situation you’re describing never happened at all. 
When you grow up with a narcissistic parent or a parent with unmanaged borderline personality disorder, gaslighting isn't just a buzzword you read about on Reddit. It's the ever present way your parent avoids taking responsibility for their actions. 
And it's why, as an adult, you can sit across from someone you love, know exactly what they did, and still walk away wondering if you're the one who got it wrong.
In this episode you'll learn:
What gaslighting actually is
The difference between an emotionally immature parent, a narcissistic parent, and a parent with BPD when it comes to gaslighting
Why your brain literally cannot make sense of someone calmly insisting a shared event didn't happen, and what it does to cope
How chronic gaslighting turns into long-term self-doubt that gets in your way of breaking the cycle
If you've spent your whole life worried you might be the dramatic one, the sensitive one, the one who remembers things wrong, this episode is for you.
The Cycle Breaker's Vault is Torie's self-guided course for the adult children of parents with borderline and narcissistic traits. It covers dysfunctional family dynamics, boundaries, manipulation, grief, and reconnecting with yourself.
Learn more and get started at confidentboundaries.com/vault.
Get access to bonus content and the entire archive of episodes when you subscribe to You're Not Crazy: The Private Feed: https://www.confidentboundaries.com/private 
Follow Torie on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/cyclebreakertherapist 
Follow Torie on TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@cyclebreakertherapist
Support the show
A huge thank you to our podcast sponsors!
Disclaimer: This podcast is not therapy. If you’re in crisis, please call the 988 Crisis Lifeline.
You're Not Crazy is owned and produced by Torie Wiksell and Confident Boundaries, LLC.

If you’re dealing with toxic in-laws and feeling unsupported by your partner, this episode is for you.
Today we’re talking about one of the most requested topics I’ve avoided covering for a long time: navigating dysfunctional in-law relationships when you’ve married into a toxic family system.
We’ll talk about why dealing with toxic in-laws is different from dealing with your own family dynamics, how family enmeshment can make it incredibly hard for your partner to recognize unhealthy behavior, and why “not wanting to take sides” is still taking a side when abuse or mistreatment is happening.
In this episode, we cover:
How to talk to your partner about their family's toxic dynamics
Why focusing on patterns of behavior is key
The emotional impact of being mistreated by your partner’s family
What happens when your partner validates your pain but refuses to take action
When couples therapy and individual therapy can help
If you’ve ever felt stuck between protecting your peace and protecting your relationship, I hope this episode helps you feel less alone and gives you language for what you’ve been experiencing.
The Cycle Breaker's Vault is Torie's self-guided course for adult children of parents with borderline and narcissistic traits covering dysfunctional family dynamics, boundaries, manipulation, grief, and reconnecting with yourself.
Get it at confidentboundaries.com/vault 
Subscribe to You're Not Crazy: The Private Feed for bonus episodes: https://www.confidentboundaries.com/private
Follow Torie on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/cyclebreakertherapist
Follow Torie on TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@cyclebreakertherapist
Support the show
A huge thank you to our podcast sponsors!
Disclaimer: This podcast is not therapy. If you’re in crisis, please call the 988 Crisis Lifeline.
You're Not Crazy is owned and produced by Torie Wiksell and Confident Boundaries, LLC.

That heavy, drained, slightly nauseous feeling you've been carrying around since Sunday? You're not alone.
If you grew up with a narcissistic mom or a mom with borderline personality disorder, Mother's Day doesn't simply end when the day ends. The emotional hangover that follows can be just as heavy as the lead-up, and it can leave you replaying every interaction, every word, every moment you wish you'd handled differently.
In this episode you'll learn:
Why the days after Mother's Day are so hard for so many cycle breakers
Common ways cycle breakers spiral after a difficult interaction (and why shame and guilt are part of the package)
A reminder of what your actual job is when you're emotionally depleted (hint: it's not deep self-reflection)
Why meeting your basic needs is the most productive thing you can do this week
How to gently reflect on what worked, if your weekend went better than expected
If you're being really hard on yourself this week, let this episode be the gentle reframe that you need.
The Cycle Breaker's Vault is Torie's self-guided course for adult children of parents with borderline and narcissistic traits covering dysfunctional family dynamics, boundaries, manipulation, grief, and reconnecting with yourself. Get it at confidentboundaries.com/vault
Follow Torie on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/cyclebreakertherapist 
Follow Torie on TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@cyclebreakertherapist
Support the show
A huge thank you to our podcast sponsors!
Disclaimer: This podcast is not therapy. If you’re in crisis, please call the 988 Crisis Lifeline.
You're Not Crazy is owned and produced by Torie Wiksell and Confident Boundaries, LLC.