You're Not Crazy: A Podcast for the Adult Children of Parents with Borderline and Narcissistic Personality Disorders

When you were raised by a narcissistic parent or a parent with unmanaged borderline personality disorder, you learn early on that keeping the peace and managing your parent's moods is the "kind" thing to do.
Your family conflates kindness with you taking on the job of regulating your parent's emotions, and now every boundary you try to set can feel like a moral failure instead of the basic self-care it actually is.
In this episode you'll learn:
The real difference between kindness and the emotional caretaking you were trained to call kindness
Why appeasing your parent got framed as "the right thing to do" 
The one question to ask yourself when a boundary feels mean
What genuinely unkind behavior looks like, and why setting a boundary doesn't come anywhere close
Why your body might still feel uncomfortable and unsafe setting a boundary even once you know you've done nothing wrong
If you've spent your whole life worrying that taking care of yourself makes you the mean one, this episode is for you.
Ready to go deeper?
The Cycle Breaker's Vault is Torie's self-guided course for the adult children of parents with borderline and narcissistic traits. It covers dysfunctional family dynamics, boundaries, manipulation, grief, and reconnecting with yourself.
Learn more and get started: confidentboundaries.com/vault
Follow Torie on Instagram: @cyclebreakertherapist
Follow Torie on TikTok: @cyclebreakertherapist
Want the more episodes of You're Not Crazy? Join The Private Feed for access to bonus and ad-free episodes plus the full archive: confidentboundaries.com/private
Free guide: 10 Boundary Mistakes That Keep You Stuck
If your boundaries keep blowing up or leaving you drowning in guilt, it's usually not you. Learn what problems actually get in the way of setting successful boundaries with toxic parents by downloading my free guide: confidentboundaries.com/opt-in
Support the show
A huge thank you to our podcast sponsors!
Disclaimer: This podcast is not therapy. If you’re in crisis, please call the 988 Crisis Lifeline.
You're Not Crazy is owned and produced by Torie Wiksell and Confident Boundaries, LLC.

You've told yourself that this time you won't let it get to you, and somehow you still leave the conversation feeling defeated and distraught, wondering why you can't just let things go.
When you grow up with a narcissistic parent or a parent with unmanaged borderline personality disorder, you learn to brace for the mean comments, the cruelty, the digs that come out of nowhere. 
And you work hard to get to a place of radical acceptance- acknowledging who your parent is and what you're likely to experience in your relationship with them. So shouldn't those realistic expectations of your parent come with less emotional distress when they do the toxic thing you're expecting them to do?
Not exactly.
In this episode you'll learn:
Why a negative emotional reaction to your parent's behavior is healthy and important
The two things that tend to happen when you successfully lower your reactivity (and why neither is where you want to be)
Your emotional reaction reframed as data that can inform your boundaries
The nuanced, gray-area questions to ask yourself to create a reality that leaves you feeling less defeated and depleted
If you're desperate to feel less emotionally consumed by the interactions with your parent, this episode is for you.
Ready to go deeper?
The Cycle Breaker's Vault is Torie's self-guided course for the adult children of parents with borderline and narcissistic traits. It covers dysfunctional family dynamics, boundaries, manipulation, grief, and reconnecting with yourself.
Learn more and get started: confidentboundaries.com/vault
Follow Torie on Instagram: @cyclebreakertherapist
Follow Torie on TikTok: @cyclebreakertherapist
Want the more episodes of You're Not Crazy? Join The Private Feed for access to bonus and ad-free episodes plus the full archive: confidentboundaries.com/private
Free guide: 10 Boundary Mistakes That Keep You Stuck
If your boundaries keep blowing up or leaving you drowning in guilt, it's usually not you. Learn what problems actually get in the way of setting successful boundaries with toxic parents by downloading my free guide: confidentboundaries.com/opt-in
Support the show
A huge thank you to our podcast sponsors!
Disclaimer: This podcast is not therapy. If you’re in crisis, please call the 988 Crisis Lifeline.
You're Not Crazy is owned and produced by Torie Wiksell and Confident Boundaries, LLC.

Too many cycle breakers know that moment when your phone lights up with the latest family emergency and you drop everything to try to calm the storm.
When you grow up with a narcissistic parent or a parent with unmanaged borderline personality disorder, you learn early on that keeping the peace is what keeps you safe. So, when there's a crisis, of course you spring into action.
In this episode we dive into:
The difference between what you're capable of and what you actually have the capacity for
The cost of being designated the family fixer
The "I should be able to handle this" story, and how it keeps you stuck in burnout and self-blame
One honest question to ask yourself this week that brings real clarity to how you spend your time, energy, and resources
Ready to go deeper?
The Cycle Breaker's Vault is Torie's self-guided course for the adult children of parents with borderline and narcissistic traits. It covers dysfunctional family dynamics, boundaries, manipulation, grief, and reconnecting with yourself.
Learn more and get started: confidentboundaries.com/vault
Want the more episodes of You're Not Crazy? Join The Private Feed for access to bonus and ad-free episodes plus the full archive: confidentboundaries.com/private
Follow Torie on Instagram: @cyclebreakertherapist
Follow Torie on TikTok: @cyclebreakertherapist
Free guide: 10 Boundary Mistakes That Keep You Stuck
Learn what actually gets in the way of setting successful boundaries with toxic parents by downloading my free guide: confidentboundaries.com/opt-in
Support the show
A huge thank you to our podcast sponsors!
Disclaimer: This podcast is not therapy. If you’re in crisis, please call the 988 Crisis Lifeline.
You're Not Crazy is owned and produced by Torie Wiksell and Confident Boundaries, LLC.

When grow up with a toxic parent, Father's Day isn't an exciting celebration. It's a loaded weekend that sits heavy on your nervous system.
And it's why the week leading up to it can leave you feeling completely drained before you even get to the main event.
In this episode you'll learn:
Why the week before and after Father's Day can feel just as heavy as the day itself
How to make an intentional choice about your scrolling instead of letting it quietly wreck your week
A self-compassion practice that's as simple as checking in with how you're actually doing
A tip for sorting through your real options when there's no perfect choice about calling, visiting, or gifting
The difference between a decision that protects your well-being and one that's only about keeping other people from being upset with you
If you've spent your whole life deciding it's easier to sacrifice yourself than to risk disappointing your family, this episode is for you.
Ready to go deeper?
The Cycle Breaker's Vault is Torie's self-guided course for the adult children of parents with borderline and narcissistic traits. It covers dysfunctional family dynamics, boundaries, manipulation, grief, and reconnecting with yourself.
Learn more and get started: confidentboundaries.com/vault
Follow Torie on Instagram: @cyclebreakertherapist
Follow Torie on TikTok: @cyclebreakertherapist
Get access to bonus content and the entire archive of episodes when you subscribe to You're Not Crazy: The Private Feed: confidentboundaries.com/private 
Free guide: 10 Boundary Mistakes That Keep You Stuck
If your boundaries keep blowing up or leaving you drowning in guilt, it's usually not you. Learn what problems actually get in the way of setting successful boundaries with toxic parents by downloading my free guide: confidentboundaries.com/opt-in
Support the show
A huge thank you to our podcast sponsors!
Disclaimer: This podcast is not therapy. If you’re in crisis, please call the 988 Crisis Lifeline.
You're Not Crazy is owned and produced by Torie Wiksell and Confident Boundaries, LLC.

When you set a boundary with a narcissistic parent, or a parent with unmanaged borderline personality disorder, they tend to push back by acting like they don't get it. They argue, they question whether your boundary is even reasonable, they pull you into a debate about whether you should have it at all. 
It's why these conversations so often end with you backing down, second-guessing yourself, and wondering if you were the unreasonable one all along.
In this episode you'll learn:
Why a parent like this pretends not to understand your boundary, and what they're actually doing when they pull you into the back and forth
The difference between setting a boundary and asking for permission, and why only one of those is your job
The "side quest" trap, where the whole conversation quietly shifts from your boundary to getting them to approve of it
What a healthy parent is able to do that yours likely can't, and why that gap isn't something you can close by trying harder
How to get clear on your boundary before you ever bring it to them, so you're not improvising under pressure
Ready to go deeper?
The Cycle Breaker's Vault is Torie's self-guided course for the adult children of parents with borderline and narcissistic traits. It covers dysfunctional family dynamics, boundaries, manipulation, grief, and reconnecting with yourself.
Learn more and get started: https://www.confidentboundaries.com/vault
Follow Torie on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/cyclebreakertherapist
Follow Torie on TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@cyclebreakertherapist
Free guide: 10 Boundary Mistakes That Keep You Stuck
If your boundaries keep blowing up or leaving you drowning in guilt, it's usually not you. Learn what problems actually get in the way of setting successful boundaries with toxic parents by downloading my free guide: https://www.confidentboundaries.com/opt-in
Support the show
A huge thank you to our podcast sponsors!
Disclaimer: This podcast is not therapy. If you’re in crisis, please call the 988 Crisis Lifeline.
You're Not Crazy is owned and produced by Torie Wiksell and Confident Boundaries, LLC.