I’ve Been Self-Gaslighting a Lot Lately: Why It’s Happening, What I’m Doing, and Why I’m Not Freaked Out
Lately, I’ve caught myself spiraling into self-gaslighting quite a bit—wondering if I’m exaggerating my childhood trauma, if maybe my mom wasn’t really a narcissist, or if I’m just “too sensitive.” If you’ve ever doubted your own reality, you’re definitely not alone.In this episode of You’re Not Crazy, I share:Why self-gaslighting shows up (especially around stressful seasons like the holidays)The hidden reasons cycle breakers start questioning themselvesHow I personally deal with these thoughts today—without letting them derail my healingWhy it no longer scares me the way it used toSelf-gaslighting doesn’t mean you’re broken. It means you grew up in a toxic family system that trained you to doubt yourself.For deeper support navigating toxic family dynamics, join the Confident Boundaries Membership. You’ll get access to live coaching, holiday workshops, and The Boundaries Helper GPT—your 24/7 tool for navigating boundary challenges. Learn more at confidentboundaries.com/membershipSupport the showA huge thank you to our podcast sponsors! 🎧 Ready for More? ➔Subscribe to You're Not Crazy: The Private Feed for ad-free episodes, bonus content, and archived episodes no longer available in the public feed: confidentboundaries.com/private ➔Join me in the Confident Boundaries Membership ($39/month and the first 24 hours are free!) 📱 Download the Confident Boundaries App iOS and Android Let's be friends:tiktok.com/@theboundariescoachinstagram.com/torieatconfidentboundaries Disclaimer: This podcast is not therapy. If you’re in crisis, please call the 988 Crisis Lifeline. You're Not Crazy is owned and produced by Torie Wiksell and Confident Boundaries, LLC.
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No Contact Isn’t Trendy: The Truth About How Hard Cycle Breakers Fight for Toxic Parent Relationships
In this episode, therapist and boundaries coach Torie Wiksell (and fellow cycle breaker) exposes the myth of “no contact as a fad” and validates the years—sometimes decades—of exhausting effort cycle breakers pour into maintaining relationships with narcissistic or emotionally immature parents before making the heartbreaking decision to step back.We’ll cover:Why going no contact with a toxic parent is never taken lightlyThe hidden grief and guilt cycle breakers face when boundaries still aren’t respectedHow narcissistic parents weaponize the “estranged parent” narrativeWhat it really takes to break the cycle of dysfunction without losing yourselfIf you’ve ever questioned whether you’ve “tried hard enough” with your toxic parent, this episode will give you the validation and relief you need.Next steps for support:Download the free Confident Boundaries App for tools, resources, and access to the newest episodes of the podcast.Join the Confident Boundaries Membership to get live workshops, group coaching, our private chat, and 24/7 access to the Boundaries Helper GPT. This month’s workshop is “Unspoken Grief: Mourning the Parent You Never Had.”You don’t have to navigate this cycle-breaking journey alone.Support the showA huge thank you to our podcast sponsors! 🎧 Ready for More? ➔Subscribe to You're Not Crazy: The Private Feed for ad-free episodes, bonus content, and archived episodes no longer available in the public feed: confidentboundaries.com/private ➔Join me in the Confident Boundaries Membership ($39/month and the first 24 hours are free!) 📱 Download the Confident Boundaries App iOS and Android Let's be friends:tiktok.com/@theboundariescoachinstagram.com/torieatconfidentboundaries Disclaimer: This podcast is not therapy. If you’re in crisis, please call the 988 Crisis Lifeline. You're Not Crazy is owned and produced by Torie Wiksell and Confident Boundaries, LLC.
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Can Boundaries Work With Narcissistic Parents? The Nuanced Truth
Can boundaries actually work with a toxic parent? In this week’s episode of You’re Not Crazy, host Torie Wiksell, therapist, boundaries coach, and fellow cycle breaker, unpacks one of the most common (and confusing) questions adult children of narcissistic, borderline, or emotionally immature parents ask: “Is it even possible to set boundaries with them?”Torie shares:Why boundaries aren’t about changing your toxic parent — but about protecting your peace.The messy gray area between low contact, no contact, and everything in between.How to recognize when boundaries are working — and when it’s time to consider no contact.Why “not reacting” isn’t healing (it’s just teaching yourself to tolerate more abuse).How to use boundaries as data points to make reality-based decisions about your relationship.If you’ve ever wondered whether you’re “crazy” for trying to have a relationship with your toxic parent, this episode will give you clarity, validation, and the tools to keep your sanity while breaking the cycle.👉 Want more support? Inside the Confident Boundaries Membership, you’ll find Torie’s full workshop How to Set Boundaries That Stick (Even With a Toxic Parent), live group coaching calls, a private community, and the 24/7 Boundaries Helper GPT to help you navigate these exact conversations in real time.🔗 Join the membership today→ confidentboundaries.com/membershipAnd if you're a therapist looking for more training on supporting your clients with emotionally immature and personality-disordered parents, join me for my upcoming training by registering here: confidentboundaries.com/therapist-training-sept-26Support the showA huge thank you to our podcast sponsors! 🎧 Ready for More? ➔Subscribe to You're Not Crazy: The Private Feed for ad-free episodes, bonus content, and archived episodes no longer available in the public feed: confidentboundaries.com/private ➔Join me in the Confident Boundaries Membership ($39/month and the first 24 hours are free!) 📱 Download the Confident Boundaries App iOS and Android Let's be friends:tiktok.com/@theboundariescoachinstagram.com/torieatconfidentboundaries Disclaimer: This podcast is not therapy. If you’re in crisis, please call the 988 Crisis Lifeline. You're Not Crazy is owned and produced by Torie Wiksell and Confident Boundaries, LLC.
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You’re Allowed to Change Your Mind: Here's Your Permission to Pivot
In today’s episode, we’re talking about a powerful and underrated concept that every cycle breaker needs: “for now.” When you're navigating toxic family dynamics, it’s easy to get paralyzed by the pressure to make the “perfect” decision—whether it’s going no contact, setting a new boundary, or reaching out for support. But healing isn’t linear, and you're allowed to change your mind.Whether you're deep in indecision or just tired of feeling stuck, this episode will help you take the next step.Head's up: You’ll hear my sweet toddler's big feelings in the background during the second half of this episode—thanks for your patience with noise and the abrupt ending!*Now accepting a few new 1:1 coaching clients. If you're ready for personalized support, apply here: confidentboundaries.com/coachingSupport the showA huge thank you to our podcast sponsors! 🎧 Ready for More? ➔Subscribe to You're Not Crazy: The Private Feed for ad-free episodes, bonus content, and archived episodes no longer available in the public feed: confidentboundaries.com/private ➔Join me in the Confident Boundaries Membership ($39/month and the first 24 hours are free!) 📱 Download the Confident Boundaries App iOS and Android Let's be friends:tiktok.com/@theboundariescoachinstagram.com/torieatconfidentboundaries Disclaimer: This podcast is not therapy. If you’re in crisis, please call the 988 Crisis Lifeline. You're Not Crazy is owned and produced by Torie Wiksell and Confident Boundaries, LLC.
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Stop Setting Yourself on Fire to Keep Others Warm
In this episode of You’re Not Crazy, boundaries coach and licensed therapist Torie Wiksell unpacks one of the most damaging cycles cycle breakers face: being scapegoated by toxic parents.Here’s how the pattern works: your boundaries are violated again and again until you finally react—crying, yelling, or shutting down. That’s when your family points at you as “the problem.” This toxic blame-shifting convinces you that your needs are unreasonable, leading you to overextend yourself at work, in relationships, and even in friendships.We’ll cover:The scapegoat cycle: why you’re labeled “too sensitive” when the truth is the opposite.How overfunctioning shows up in adulthood—as the fixer, the peacemaker, or the one who sacrifices everything to avoid conflict.Why it feels easier to burn yourself out than to ask others to step up.Steps to reclaim your capacity by setting boundaries around your emotional, physical, and financial energy.Torie also shares her own story of overgiving in her career—and how healing meant learning to stop “lighting herself on fire to keep others warm.”If you’ve ever wondered why relationships leave you drained, or why you carry responsibility that isn’t yours, this episode will help you see the truth: it’s not you.Support the showA huge thank you to our podcast sponsors! 🎧 Ready for More? ➔Subscribe to You're Not Crazy: The Private Feed for ad-free episodes, bonus content, and archived episodes no longer available in the public feed: confidentboundaries.com/private ➔Join me in the Confident Boundaries Membership ($39/month and the first 24 hours are free!) 📱 Download the Confident Boundaries App iOS and Android Let's be friends:tiktok.com/@theboundariescoachinstagram.com/torieatconfidentboundaries Disclaimer: This podcast is not therapy. If you’re in crisis, please call the 988 Crisis Lifeline. You're Not Crazy is owned and produced by Torie Wiksell and Confident Boundaries, LLC.
About You're Not Crazy: A Podcast for Cycle Breakers with Toxic Parents
Psychotherapist and Coach, Torie Wiksell, is no stranger to talking about challenging and dysfunctional family dynamics. In addition to specializing in working with the adult children of parents with borderline and narcissistic personality disorders as both a therapist and coach, Torie grew up with a mother who had an unmanaged personality disorder.Torie has spent a significant portion of her 12 year career as a therapist working with clients with personality disorders, their partners, and family members, and brings a unique and relatable perspective to navigating these complicated relationships.Follow TorieOn TikTok: tiktok.com/@theboundariescoachOn Instagram: instagram.com/torieatconfidentboundariesLearn more about Coaching and the Confident Boundaries Membership: www.confidentboundaries.comDisclaimer: This podcast is not therapy. If you are in mental health crisis, please contact the Crisis Lifeline by dialing 988. You're Not Crazy is a podcast owned and produced by Torie Wiksell and Confident Boundaries, LLC.
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