THE MEN'S SELF HELP PODCAST

div:has([data-free-thinking-preview-answer=true])+:is(.text-message,.relative:has(>.text-message))]:-mt-2 grow"> Men struggle with sexual confidence more than people might think. Body image issues can affect how men see themselves, how comfortable they feel during intimacy, and how they navigate relationships.
In this episode of The Men's Self-Help Podcast, Dr. John Moore explores the impact of body-image anxiety on men's intimacy, relationships, and everyday life. Sexual anxiety is also part of the discussion.
Through the story of a client named Ridge, Dr. John examines how concerns about physical appearance can extend far beyond the bedroom, affecting everything from mirrors and photographs to family gatherings, dating, and intimate relationships.
The episode also explores practical strategies for managing body-image anxiety and building sexual confidence, including visualization, affirmations, behavioral changes, and the "As If" technique.
Plus, Dr. John answers a listener question about recognizing when a long-term friendship may have run its course.
💙 Episode Sponsor: BetterHelp
This episode of The Men's Self-Help Podcast is sponsored by BetterHelp.
Get started: Visit BetterHelp
🎧 In This Episode
• Male body image and appearance anxiety
• Sexual confidence, performance anxiety, and intimacy
• How shame and avoidance can affect relationships
• Why body insecurity can spread into other areas of life
• Using the "As If" technique to challenge anxious thinking
• Realistic visualization and behavioral change
• Recognizing when a friendship may need to change
📚 Recommended Reading
The Adonis Complex by Harrison G. Pope Jr., Katharine A. Phillips, and Roberto Olivardia
This book explores the psychological impact of male body-image concerns, including muscularity, appearance preoccupation, shame, and the pressure many men experience to look a certain way.
It's a useful resource for understanding how body-image anxiety can influence self-esteem, relationships, and everyday behavior.
Amazon: The Adonis Complex
🔗 Related Resources
Hypnosis vs. Meditation — What's the Difference?
Learn more about the differences between clinical hypnotherapy and meditation in this Psychology Today article by Dr. Ran Anbar.
Article on Psychology Today on clinical hypnotherapy and meditation by Dr Ran Anbar
🔬 Research on Men and Body Image
Men's Body Satisfaction — Chapman University
Research involving more than 100,000 men examining satisfaction with physical appearance, body weight, muscle tone, and muscularity.
Study Findings via ScienceDaily
Body Image and Men — Mental Health Foundation
Information and research examining how body-image concerns affect men, including anxiety, social comparison, appearance-related distress, and efforts to conceal perceived physical imperfections.
Visit the Mental Health Foundation
⚠️ Disclaimer
The Men's Self-Help Podcast is intended for informational and educational purposes only. It is not therapy and is not a substitute for medical advice, diagnosis, or professional mental health treatment. If you are struggling, please contact a qualified professional where you live.
📱 Follow on Social Media
Facebook: Guy Counseling
Instagram: Guy Counseling
🧠 Thought Court Worksheet — Free Listener Resource
Want to challenge an unhelpful thought and examine it from a more balanced perspective?
Dr. John created a free Thought Court worksheet designed to help you identify, question, and reframe unhelpful thinking patterns. The accompanying Guy Counseling guide walks you through the exercise step by step.
No signup, no email address, and no strings attached. Just download the worksheet and use it whenever you find it helpful.
Download the Free Thought Court Worksheet + How-To Guide
☕ Support the Show
If you've found value in this podcast and would like to support its independent production, you can do so through Buy Me a Coffee.
Contributions help cover hosting, audio production, editing, and the development of future episodes of The Men's Self-Help Podcast.
Support The Men's Self-Help Podcast
✉️ Contact the Show
Have a question for Dr. John or a topic you'd like to hear discussed on a future episode?
You can reach the podcast through the Guy Counseling website.
Use the Contact Form
Please keep in mind that the show receives a significant amount of email, and not every question can be featured.
When writing, let us know whether you give permission for your question to be shared on the podcast. Identifying details may be changed to protect privacy.
🤝 Affiliate & Sponsor Disclosure
This episode may include paid sponsorships or affiliate links. If you make a purchase, sign up for a service, or take another qualifying action through one of these links, The Men's Self-Help Podcast may receive compensation at no additional cost to you.
As an Amazon Associate, we earn from qualifying purchases. Sponsors and recommended resources may vary by episode.
🎛️ Production Notes
Written and produced by Dr. John Moore, with Joel Oliver (audio) and editorial contributors. Artwork by Adobe Firefly; sounds by Pixabay. Episodes may combine live recording and synthesized audio for listener questions, production efficiency, and contributor privacy.

Ever notice how your brain can take something that might happen and somehow convince you it's probably going to happen?
In this episode of The Men's Self-Help Podcast, Dr. John explores anticipatory anxiety through one of the galaxy's greatest worriers: C-3PO.
Whether you're waiting for a text, worrying about a conversation with your boss, preparing for holiday travel, or waiting on medical test results, uncertainty can send the mind racing into futures that haven't happened yet. Before long, possibility starts feeling like probability—and your body may begin reacting as though the feared event is already underway.
You'll learn a simple approach for interrupting the spiral: Possible. Probable. Response. You'll also discover why sometimes the first step isn't challenging an anxious thought at all. Sometimes you need to soothe your inner Threepio, ground yourself in the present, and work with what you actually know.
Dr. John also responds to a listener who is struggling with anxiety while waiting for medical test results—a reminder that anticipatory anxiety isn't always attached to unrealistic fears. Sometimes the uncertainty is real. The challenge becomes learning how to live inside the not knowing without forcing yourself to experience every possible outcome in advance.
In This Episode
What anticipatory anxiety looks and feels like

How possibility quietly turns into probability

Why anxiety can disguise itself as planning and preparation

How to soothe your inner C-3PO when your thoughts start spiraling

A simple grounding exercise for getting back into the present

The Possible → Probable → Response technique

Why uncertainty doesn't always have an immediate answer

Health anxiety and the temptation to diagnose yourself online

How to respond when there really is something worth worrying about

Episode Sponsor: BetterHelp
This episode of The Men's Self-Help Podcast is sponsored by BetterHelp.
Get started: Visit Better Help
Recommended Reading
Health Anxiety Mastery — Dr. Artem Kudelia
A resource for people who struggle with health-related worry and anxiety.
https://amzn.to/3U3cBHD
Some resource links may be affiliate links. If you purchase through one of these links, the show may receive a small commission at no additional cost to you.
A Special Thank You
The Men's Self-Help Podcast has now surpassed 1.7 million downloads. Whether you've been listening for years or you've only recently discovered the show, thank you for being part of this community.
If you enjoyed this episode, please follow or subscribe and consider leaving a rating or review wherever you listen. It helps other people discover the show.
Affiliate & Sponsor Disclosure
This episode may include paid sponsorships or affiliate links. If you make a purchase, sign up for a service, or take another qualifying action through one of these links, The Men's Self-Help Podcast may receive compensation at no additional cost to you. As an Amazon Associate, we earn from qualifying purchases. Sponsors and recommended resources may vary by episode.
Holiday Gifts for Men ❄️
Visit the Guy Counseling Holiday Gifts for Men page that was mentioned in the podcast.
Contact the Show
If you would like to contact the show with a question or submit a listener email, you can visit Guy Counseling.
👉 Use this link for the contact form
Keep in mind that we receive a lot of email and not all questions will be featured on the podcast. When you write, please let us know if we have your permission to feature your question. Identifying information may be changed to protect privacy.
Follow on Social Media
👉 Facebook — Guy Counseling
👉 Instagram — Guy Counseling
Support the Show ☕
If you've found value in this podcast and would like to help support its independent production, you can do so through Buy Me a Coffee.
Your support helps cover production costs, hosting, editing, and future episodes of The Men's Self-Help Podcast.
👉 https://buymeacoffee.com/mensselfhelp
Disclaimer
The Men's Self-Help Podcast is intended for informational and educational purposes only. It is not therapy and is not a substitute for medical advice, diagnosis, or professional mental health treatment. If you are struggling, please contact a qualified professional where you live.
Production Notes
Written and produced by Dr. John Moore, with Joel Oliver (audio) and editorial contributors. Artwork by Adobe Firefly; sounds by Pixabay. Episodes may combine live recording with synthesized audio for listener questions, production efficiency, and contributor privacy.

How to Protect Your Mindset From Negative People
Have you ever shared a goal, dream, or idea with someone only to have them immediately tell you why it won't work?
Maybe you've been told you're not smart enough, talented enough, experienced enough, attractive enough, or capable enough. Or maybe you have someone in your life who seems to find something negative to say about almost everything you're trying to accomplish.
In this episode of The Men's Self-Help Podcast, Dr. John Moore explores how other people's negativity can slowly become part of your own internal dialogue — and what you can do to stop that from happening.
Using personal stories, psychology, humor, and practical examples, John shares five principles for protecting your mindset without falling into the trap of simply ignoring every person who disagrees with you.
You'll learn why it's important to ask whether negative feedback is actually true, how to separate useful criticism from somebody else's crap, and why another person's cynicism may sometimes say more about their experiences than your potential.
You'll also discover why negativity can become contagious, why new goals sometimes need protection before they need publicity, and how to stop internalizing messages that were never yours to begin with.
🧠 In This Episode, You'll Explore:
• How to ask yourself whether negative feedback is actually true
• The difference between constructive feedback and destructive criticism
• Why some people respond negatively when someone around them begins changing
• How chronic negativity can influence your own thinking
• Why you should be careful who gets access to a dream while it's still developing
• The idea of "build before you broadcast"
• How social media can keep us so busy being influenced that we forget to influence ourselves
• Why you don't have to internalize somebody else's bitterness, cynicism, or regret
• Freud's psychosexual stages and the concept of an anal-expulsive personality
• A listener question about social anxiety, self-consciousness, and replaying conversations afterward
• Why using alcohol as "liquid courage" in social situations can become problematic
• Practical ways to move attention away from yourself during socially anxious moments
• Why feeling awkward doesn't necessarily mean you looked awkward
📚 Recommended Reading
The Shyness and Social Anxiety Workbook by Martin M. Antony and Richard P. Swinson
A practical workbook using cognitive-behavioral strategies to help people better understand and work through shyness and social anxiety.
See Amazon for price
🔗 Resources Mentioned
Freud's Psychosexual Stages of Development
Simply Psychology
https://www.simplypsychology.org/psychosexual.html
Quick Overview of Chicago's Metropolitan Correctional Center
A short YouTube video offering a quick overview of the Metropolitan Correctional Center in downtown Chicago.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rThWng-X6c8
🎧 Related Episode
The Power of No: How to Say No Without Guilt
Learn why saying no can feel so difficult and how clearer boundaries can help you stop organizing your life around other people's expectations.
https://guycounseling.com/say-no-without-guilt/
🔔 Man-Firm-Ation
I decide which voices I allow to shape my life. Someone else's negativity does not have to become my reality. I protect my dreams, my hopes and my light.
Remember: somebody else gets to have an opinion about you. You get to decide whether you make that opinion your reality.
Don't let somebody else's negativity infect your positivity.
This podcast is for educational purposes only and is not a substitute for mental health counseling.
📢 Affiliate & Sponsor Disclosure
This episode may include paid sponsorships or affiliate links. If you make a purchase, sign up for a service, or take another qualifying action through one of these links, The Men's Self-Help Podcast may receive compensation at no additional cost to you. As an Amazon Associate, we earn from qualifying purchases. Sponsors and recommended resources may vary by episode.
💙 Episode Sponsor: BetterHelp
This episode of The Men's Self-Help Podcast is sponsored by BetterHelp.
Get started: Visit Better Help
📱 Follow on Social Media
👉 Facebook Guy Counseling
👉 Instagram Guy Counseling
📝 Thought Court Worksheet — Free Listener Resource
Want to challenge an unhelpful thought and look at it from a more balanced perspective? Dr. John created a free Thought Court worksheet you can download and use on your own. The accompanying Guy Counseling guide walks you through the exercise step by step.
No signup. No email address. No strings attached. Just grab it and use it if it's helpful.
Download the Free Thought Court Worksheet + How-To Guide
☕ Support the Show
If you've found value in this podcast and would like to help support its independent production, you can do so through Buy Me a Coffee.
Your support helps cover production costs, hosting, editing, and future episodes of The Men's Self-Help Podcast.
👉 https://buymeacoffee.com/mensselfhelp
🎙️ Production Notes
Written and produced by Dr. John Moore, with Joel Oliver (audio) and editorial contributors. Artwork by Adobe Firefly; sounds by Pixabay. Episodes may combine live recording with synthesized audio for listener questions, production efficiency, and contributor privacy.

Stop Being a Nice Guy and People Pleaser
Are you tired of being a nice guy and people and people pleaser? Sick of feeling like you're being taken advantage of? In this episode of The Men's Self-Help Podcast, Dr. John Moore explores the hidden cost of chronic people-pleasing and why it often goes unnoticed in men.
What looks like being dependable, hardworking, loyal, or simply being a good guy may actually be a learned strategy for avoiding guilt, conflict, disappointment, or the fear of letting someone down.
You'll discover six practical steps for recognizing the pattern, creating a pause before automatically agreeing, setting clearer boundaries, and tolerating the discomfort that can follow when you begin using the word no.
Dr. John also responds to a listener named Chris, who worries that declining invitations from his friends could eventually cause him to lose his place in the group.
This episode is sponsored by BetterHelp.
In This Episode
• Why being a nice guy comes at a cost
• How people-pleasing can show up differently in men
• The connection between approval, identity, and automatic agreement
• How early experiences can shape the need to keep others happy
• Why cognitive rehearsal can make saying no easier
• How to pause before committing to something
• How to say no without overexplaining or apologizing
• Why another person's disappointment does not automatically mean you did something wrong
• How distress tolerance can help you maintain a healthy boundary
• Why asking "What do I want?" can become an important ongoing practice
Resources Mentioned
Some of the links below are affiliate links. If you make a qualifying purchase through one of these links, Guy Counseling may receive a small commission at no additional cost to you. Thank you for helping support the independent production of this podcast.
The Assertiveness Workbook by Randy J. Paterson, PhD
Dr. John discusses cognitive rehearsal and the value of practicing assertive responses before you need them in real life. The Assertiveness Workbook offers practical exercises for developing clearer communication, setting boundaries, and becoming more comfortable with assertiveness.
Amazon: https://amzn.to/4crv5aR
When I Say No, I Feel Guilty by Manuel J. Smith
Dr. John recommends this classic assertiveness book while responding to listener Chris, who struggles with saying no without feeling guilty or worrying about disappointing others. When I Say No, I Feel Guilty offers practical strategies for communicating more assertively, setting limits, and handling the guilt or pressure that can come when you stop automatically saying yes.
Amazon: https://amzn.to/4zou1OM
Have a Question for a Future Listener Email?
Do you have a question you would like Dr. John to consider for a future listener-email segment?
Submit it through the contact form below. Dr. John reads every message that comes through, although not every question can be featured on the podcast.
https://guycounseling.com/contact-us/
Listener messages featured on the podcast are shared with permission. Names and identifying details may be changed to protect privacy, and messages may be edited for length and clarity. A synthesized voice may also be used when reading an email.
Support the Show
If you've found value in this podcast and would like to help support its independent production, you can do so through Buy Me a Coffee.
Your support helps cover production costs, hosting, editing, and future episodes of The Men's Self-Help Podcast.
👉 https://buymeacoffee.com/mensselfhelp
Disclaimer
The Men's Self-Help Podcast is intended for informational and educational purposes only. It is not therapy and is not a substitute for medical advice, diagnosis, or professional mental health treatment. If you are struggling, please contact a qualified professional where you live.
Follow on Social Media
👉 Facebook Guy Counseling
👉 Instagram Guy Counseling
Free Thought Court Worksheet
Want to challenge an unhelpful thought and look at it from a more balanced perspective? Dr. John created a free Thought Court worksheet you can download and use on your own. The accompanying Guy Counseling guide walks you through the exercise step by step.
No signup. No email address. No strings attached. Just grab it and use it if it's helpful.
Download the Free Thought Court Worksheet + How-To Guide
Production Notes
Produced by Dr. John Moore with Joel Oliver (audio) and editorial contributors. Artwork by Adobe Firefly; sounds by Pixabay. Episodes may combine live recording and synthesized audio for listener questions, production efficiency, and contributor privacy.

Trying to build confidence? How Do You Actually Get Your Life Together as a Man? 
In this episode of The Men's Self-Help Podcast, Dr. John Moore explores 10 habits of men who have their sh*t together and what getting your life together actually looks like in the real world.
Drawing on more than two decades of clinical experience in men's work, Dr. John breaks down practical habits for men focused on self-improvement, personal growth, stronger relationships, better sleep, and creating a life that feels more grounded.
This isn't the Instagram version of having your life together. It's about defining success on your own terms, keeping promises to yourself, protecting your sleep, maintaining friendships, taking responsibility for your choices, and knowing when to ask for help.
Whether you're already practicing some of these habits or feel like you're starting from scratch, this episode offers a practical roadmap you can begin using this week.
In This Episode
What it really means to have your life together
Why defining success on your own terms matters
The importance of keeping promises to yourself
Why protecting your sleep is part of getting your life together
How grounded men build habits that hold up under pressure
Why maintaining friendships and important relationships matters
The role of personal responsibility in self-improvement
Why asking for help can be a sign of strength
How small, consistent choices can shape the direction of your life
Practical ways to start getting your life together this week
Sponsor
The Men's Self-Help Podcast is sponsored by BetterHelp.
Head to https://betterhelp.com/guycounseling to get 10% off your first month of therapy.
Resources Mentioned
Some of the links below are affiliate links. If you make a qualifying purchase through one of these links, Guy Counseling may receive a small commission at no additional cost to you. Thank you for helping support the independent production of this podcast.
Contact (1997) — Trailer
Referenced in the discussion of Habit 2, keeping promises to yourself. Directed by Robert Zemeckis and starring Jodie Foster.
Watch the trailer on YouTube
The Insomnia Breakthrough by Katherine Coleman
Recommended in the discussion of Habit 4, protecting your sleep. Dr. John has recommended this book to clients over the years with strong results.
Find it on Amazon
The Harvard Study of Adult Development
Referenced in the discussion of Habit 7, maintaining relationships. This long-running study has followed participants across decades and has highlighted the importance of strong relationships for long-term health and well-being.
Learn more about the Harvard Study of Adult Development
Have a Question for the Podcast?
Have a question you'd like Dr. John to answer on a future episode? Send it through the Guy Counseling contact form:
https://guycounseling.com/contact-us/
If your question is selected, identifying details may be changed to protect your privacy, and it may be read using a synthesized voice.
Support the Show
If you're enjoying The Men's Self-Help Podcast and would like to help support its independent production, you can buy Dr. John a coffee here:
https://buymeacoffee.com/mensselfhelp
Follow on Social Media
👉 Facebook Guy Counseling
👉 Instagram Guy Counseling
Free Thought Court Worksheet
Want to challenge an unhelpful thought and look at it from a more balanced perspective? Dr. John created a free Thought Court worksheet you can download and use on your own. The accompanying Guy Counseling guide walks you through the exercise step by step.
No signup. No email address. No strings attached. Just grab it and use it if it's helpful.
Download the Free Thought Court Worksheet + How-To Guide
Disclaimer
This podcast is for educational and informational purposes only and is not a substitute for professional medical or mental health care, diagnosis, or treatment. Please consult a licensed professional for individualized support.
Production Notes
Produced by Dr. John Moore with Joel Oliver (audio) and editorial contributors. Artwork by Adobe Firefly; sounds by Pixabay. Episodes may combine live recording and synthesized audio for listener questions, production efficiency, and contributor privacy.