Power Your Parenting: Moms With Teens

Are college applications creating more stress, anxiety, and conflict in your home than they need to?

The college application process can feel overwhelming for both teens and parents. In this episode, I talk with Dr. Jill Constantino, author of The People’s Guide to College Applications: A Week-by-Week Approach to Writing, Connecting, and Getting In. Jill is a writer, college coach, former Harvard writing instructor and dean, and a mom of four. She brings a refreshing message to families: your teen doesn’t need to have their entire future figured out—and they don’t need to manufacture the “perfect” version of themselves to get into college.

Jill shares practical strategies to help teens get unstuck, especially when they freeze or procrastinate over college essays. Instead of starting with the pressure to write an amazing essay, she encourages teens to make lists about what they love, what matters to them, and experiences that have shaped them. From there, they can use short, imperfect writing exercises to uncover the stories and details that reveal who they really are. The goal isn’t to sound impressive—it’s to sound authentic.

We also explore the delicate role parents play during this stressful season. Too much pushing can damage the relationship, but completely stepping away may leave teens without the support they still need. Jill encourages parents to find the middle ground: stay involved, ask thoughtful questions, offer support, and remember that your teen’s journey belongs to them. Ultimately, the college application process can become more than a race to get accepted—it can be an opportunity to understand your teen more deeply, protect your relationship, and help them discover who they are becoming.

3 Takeaways

Your teen doesn’t have to have it all figured out. At 16, 17, or 18, they are still discovering who they are, what interests them, and what they may want from their future.

Authenticity matters more than trying to impress. Encourage your teen to notice the quirky, ordinary, specific details of their life. Those details can reveal far more about who they are than an essay designed to sound perfect.

Support without taking over. Your teen still needs you during the college application process—but they need you as a supportive presence, not as the person controlling the outcome. Keep the relationship in mind as you help them navigate this transition.

Learn More at: https://www.tangledbeings.com/

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Are you raising your teen to follow directions—or are you helping them become someone others want to follow?

In this episode of Power Your Parenting: Moms with Teens, I talk with Dr. Pam Manfredo-Curtis, author of The Origin of a Leader: Transforming Family Patterns into Leadership Power. Pam shares a fascinating idea: our earliest experiences at home shape how we communicate, handle conflict, build relationships, and ultimately lead. And because our kids are learning these skills first from us, developing leadership in our teens starts with looking at what we are modeling at home.

We explore the difference between dictating and influencing. When moms are afraid—afraid our teen will fail, make a bad choice, or get hurt—it's easy to move into telling, correcting, and lecturing. But Pam explains that leadership grows when we create emotional safety, listen with empathy, stay curious about our teen's perspective, and give them opportunities to think for themselves. Sometimes the most powerful question isn't, “How do I get my teen to do this?” but “Why are they showing up this way?”

We also talk about the importance of pacing—knowing when to push and when to pause. Moms often feel pressure to address everything immediately, but our teens don't need one big mother lecture; they need thousands of small conversations over time. When we calm ourselves, listen, and connect our guidance to what our teens want for their own lives, we move from controlling their behavior to helping them develop confidence, self-agency, and genuine leadership.

3 Takeaways

Leadership starts at home. Your teen is learning how to communicate, handle conflict, listen, and influence others by watching how you do it.

Trade dictating for curiosity. Instead of immediately telling your teen what to do, ask: What do you think? Why is this important to you? How do you think you should handle this?

Know when to pause. You don't have to teach every lesson in the moment. Creating emotional safety and choosing the right timing can make your influence far more powerful.

Follow at https://www.instagram.com/pammanfredocurtis/

Learn More at: https://www.manfredocurtis.com/

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Why are so many bright, capable boys becoming unmotivated, disengaged from school, and more interested in the virtual world than real life?

In this eye-opening episode of Power Your Parenting: Moms with Teens, I talk with Dr. Leonard Sax about the newly released third edition of his bestselling book, Boys Adrift: The Six Factors Driving the Growing Epidemic of Unmotivated Boys and Underachieving Young Men. Dr. Sax explores why so many boys are struggling academically and losing motivation—and how changes in education may be contributing to the problem.

We also dive into the powerful pull of video games and why parents need to pay attention to both how much their sons are gaming and what they are playing. Dr. Sax discusses sleep, ADHD, and stimulant medications and encourages parents to ask informed questions. His message is clear: teens still need parents to provide boundaries, structure, and guidance, even when they push back.

Finally, we tackle some of the newest challenges facing boys: pornography, AI girlfriends and companions, and the online “manosphere.” Dr. Sax explains how these influences can pull boys away from real relationships and a meaningful life. He encourages parents to monitor technology, create firm limits, and connect boys with positive male role models. Most importantly, he reminds parents that these problems are not hopeless—there are concrete steps we can take to help our boys thrive.

3 Takeaways

Pay attention to the virtual world. Know what your son is doing online and make sure gaming, pornography, and AI aren't replacing sleep, school, friendships, and real-life experiences.

Have the courage to set limits. Your son may not like your boundaries, but he still needs you to provide structure and guidance that protects his future.

Help him see what a good man looks like. Boys need positive male role models who demonstrate character, responsibility, respect, purpose, and healthy relationships.

Learn More at: https://www.leonardsax.com/

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Do you spend a significant time worrying about all things, especially your kids. Anxiety is sneaky and gets inside your head. It convinces you that you are being a good mom if you worry and that you are a bad mom if you don't. It deceives you into thinking that worrying and obsessing is productive and will lead to problem solving.

The truth is anxiety is exhausting and is a huge reason we can feel all mothered out.

To talk about this I brought in a knowledgeable guest.

⁠Lynn Lyons, LICSW⁠ has been psychotherapist for 25 years and specializes in treating anxious children and their parents, with a special interest in interrupting the generational pattern of worry in families.

Lynn has a podcast called, ⁠Flusterclux⁠, where she helps parents understand how to manage anxiety. Katie Couric has also interviewed Lynn, and she has been featured in Psychology Today, The New York Times, NPR and Reader's Digest.

Her new book, ⁠The Anxiety Audit⁠ offers an eye-opening look at the 7 sneaky ways that anxiety and worry weave their way into our families, our friendships, and our jobs, and provides actionable steps to reverse the cycle and reclaim our emotional well-being.

⁠ https://www.instagram.com/lynnlyonsanxiety/ ⁠

⁠https://www.lynnlyons.com/
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What if the rewards you’re using to motivate your teen are actually making them less motivated?

In this episode of Power Your Parenting: Moms with Teens, I talk with Dr. Özgür Bolat, author of The Reward Trap: Why Rewards Backfire and the Real Science of Motivating Kids, about the surprising downside of using rewards to motivate our kids. Dr. Bolat is a distinguished education scientist, researcher, associate professor, and internationally recognized expert in education and parenting. He earned his master’s degree from Harvard Graduate School of Education and his PhD from the University of Cambridge and spent a year as a visiting PhD student at MIT Sloan. His research and personal experience led him to explore how achievement, praise, and rewards can create a dependence on external validation—and what parents can do differently.

Dr. Bolat explains that while rewards may get teens to do what we want in the short term, compliance is not the same as motivation. When we say, “Get an A and I’ll give you money,” or “Finish your homework and you can have more screen time,” teens may become focused on the payoff rather than learning, mastery, or personal responsibility. Over time, rewards can undermine intrinsic motivation and even affect creativity, self-esteem, and connection. Instead of immediately trying to control behavior, Dr. Bolat encourages parents to get curious about what’s underneath it. Why isn’t your teen studying? Why have they stopped caring about school? What are they struggling with? His PEACE model helps parents move away from simply fixing the behavior and toward understanding and solving the deeper problem together.

3 Takeaways for Moms

1. Compliance is not the same as motivation.Rewards may get your teen to do something today, but they don't necessarily build the internal motivation to keep doing it. Ask yourself: Am I trying to get immediate compliance, or am I helping my teen develop ownership?

2. Look underneath the behavior.Instead of asking, “How do I get my teen to study?” get curious: “Why is my teen struggling to study?” Resistance may be pointing to discouragement, disconnection, fear of failure, lack of meaning, or another deeper issue.

3. Help your teen find a cause, not just a goal.Grades and college acceptance may not be motivating enough. Talk with your teen about the bigger picture: What kind of life do you want? What are you good at? What matters to you? How do you want to contribute? Meaning, growth, values, and connection can become powerful internal motivators.

Follow on Instagram at https://www.instagram.com/dr.ozgurbolat/

Learn more at: https://ozgurbolat.co.uk/
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