This week’s episode is all about audacity. The audacity to speak your truth. The audacity to go after what your heart really wants—even if it’s messy, complicated, or unexpected.
Joining me is Shantelle Engelbrecht, who does exactly that. She’s the force behind Coloured Girls Rock, an incredible Facebook community that’s grown into something massive. It’s a space for the coloured community—men, women, kids—to share, support, and sometimes spill the wildest stories you’ve ever heard.
We talk about being bold, honest, and unafraid to want more. Because honestly, why deny what your heart wants? Why pretend you’re fine when you’re not? Sometimes, if you’re lucky—and just a little bit brave—you might even change your mind.
Let’s see where this one takes us.
In this episode:
00:00 Introduction to Love, Dating and Chaos
00:08 The audacity to speak your truth
01:09 Challenges in dating within the Coloured community
02:59 Personal dating experiences and preferences
06:28 The five slot dating system
08:52 Hilarious and horrifying dating stories
17:04 Swimming dates and makeup
17:30 Tinder adventures in Cape Town
18:09 Dealing with online criticism
19:42 A memorable Tinder date
23:35 Dating preferences and red flags
27:07 Green flags and dating standards
29:06 Final thoughts on dating
31:22 Conclusion and podcast wrap-up Podcast page on Jacaranda FM
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32:54
Do South Africans Date Differently?
When we think about dating apps or matchmaking services, our minds usually go to the big international names. But what about platforms built specifically for us? For South Africans? This week, we’re looking a little closer to home.
In this episode of Love, Dating and Chaos, I put on my investigator hat—think Sherlock Holmes or Angela Lansbury, but the African edition—and find out if we as South Africans date differently. Because yes, while there are tons of global platforms out there, there are also homegrown options designed with South Africans in mind.
I’m joined by two incredible women who have made a career out of hitching people up. First up is Lieze Wolfaardt, the founder of Smooches, a proudly South African dating app that takes a more thoughtful approach to matching. Then I speak to Michelle De Lange from Mingle—who is, wait for it, a real-life matchmaker. Not an algorithm, not a swipe. An actual human helping other humans find love.
Imagine that.
And just to round things out, I’ve got a story from Xola Ntshinga, who shares his own very weird experience.
In this episode:
00:00 Welcome to Love Dating and Chaos
00:23 Exploring South African Dating Apps
01:05 In-Depth with Lieze Wolfaardt from Smooches
02:07 The Realities of Online Dating
04:12 Personal Experiences and Insights
07:37 Challenges of Modern Relationships
15:14 Story Time: A Man's Perspective on Dating Apps
19:10 Interview with Matchmaker Michelle De Lange
24:26 The Last Straw: Deciding to Move On
25:35 Explaining Infidelity to Children
26:39 Advice for Parents in Troubled Relationships
27:36 Empowering Women in the Dating World
28:24 Challenges of High-Powered Women in Dating
29:18 Men's Preferences and Dating Dynamics
30:27 The Importance of Compatibility
33:30 Personal Dating Experiences and Lessons
35:23 Red Flags and Green Flags in Relationships
42:41 Safety Tips for Modern Dating Podcast page on Jacaranda FM
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46:15
Are Men and Women Really that Different?
* Mature content advisory *
This whole podcast is about love, dating, and the chaos that comes with it. Not just in my life, but in other people's lives too. I'm trying to figure out where I might be going wrong, where I should be looking, what I should be doing, and what people are actually looking for.
I'm part of a WhatsApp group. Who isn't? (That's a whole other podcast.) I thought to myself, you know what, let me throw it out there. I’ll do a bit of a case study and talk to people I don’t know that well about love, dating, and all the trials we go through.
Luckily for me, Geordie and Nirin reached out and came to chat about their experiences in the dating world.
Of course, I had to get a guy’s perspective too. It wouldn’t be fair if it was just women ganging up on the guys. Maybe we as girls are doing something wrong.
Anyway, let’s see.
Coming up in this episode:
00:00 Introduction to Love, Dating, and Chaos
01:01 Personal Dating Struggles and Reflections
01:27 Challenges of Dating with Children
04:45 The Quest for Peace in Relationships
07:54 Dating Younger Partners
09:59 A Story from Philicity's Love Life
14:15 Online Dating Adventures
15:34 The Awkward Date Scenario
15:43 Dating Rules and Boundaries
16:36 Modern Dating Challenges
17:08 The Chicken Wings Incident
17:51 Transactional Relationships
22:26 The Importance of Communication
24:59 Physical Preferences in Dating
28:28 Concluding Thoughts on Relationships Podcast page on Jacaranda FM
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29:53
Am I The Problem? (with Stacey Norman)
I’ve tried dating apps to see what’s out there. I usually go in hopeful, thinking there must be someone for me. Apparently, there’s not. But I don’t think the problem is me - I think people are messy. Some of them probably shouldn’t be dating at all.
Luckily, I have a great bestie—Stacey Norman. She’s a long-term relationship kind of girl, a true serial dater. I’ve always admired that. She’s dated, I haven’t - and I’ve started to wonder: is it me? What am I doing wrong?
So I asked her. I needed honest feedback from someone who knows and loves me. Ideally, she tells me it’s not me, men suck - and oh, she’s found me a boyfriend.
Let’s hold thumbs.
Coming up in the episode:
00:00 Introduction and Personal Dating History
01:21 The Evolution of Dating
01:47 Best Friend's Perspective
03:36 Analysing Past Relationships
14:39 The Challenges of Modern Dating
15:58 Dating App Strategies
17:51 Setting Boundaries and Expectations
18:55 Rules for Online Dating
19:10 The Seven-Day Rule
19:33 First Impressions and Judgments
20:34 A Memorable First Date
23:51 Self-Realisation and Intentions
25:32 The Fear of Vulnerability
30:46 A New Relationship Perspective
37:33 Trusting Your Gut
41:27 Final Thoughts and Reflections Podcast page on Jacaranda FM
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42:37
Love, Dating and Chaos Launches 15 May, 2025!
Get ready! Love, Dating and Chaos with Philicity Reeken launches 15 May, 2025! Podcast page on Jacaranda FM
Single and looking for love? Buckle up! Join Philicity Reeken—seasoned radio host and fellow dater—as she unpacks the myths, mysteries, and madness of modern romance. With hilarious stories, real talk, and expert advice, this podcast helps you navigate the exciting (and sometimes awkward) world of dating. Whether you're a seasoned swiper or new to the scene, Philicity’s got you covered. So, ditch the dating app fatigue and join the journey—because finding love shouldn’t feel like a full-time job!
South Africa