Life Uncut

Welcome back to your ask uncut where we unpack your deep and burning questions!
Do you argue with your partner about household admin?

Vibes for the week:
Sensor light link
Britt - Marlo & Co Dog seat cover
Laura - Queen of Chess documentary on Netflix
Keeshia - @breeonabudget and Petrol Spy App
Then we jump into your questions!
WANT MY BF TO USE A PET NAME EX USED
Is it weird to want my new boyfriend to call me the pet name that my ex used to call me? I am not one for pet names, especially ones like Bub, babe, lovey etc. But in my past relationship I adopted the name potato. Yes weird, it was because part of my name was similar to the word potato in his language, but I loveddd it. Whenever I heard it I felt giddy and personalised and special etc. I really miss that word lol and yearn to be called potato again. I am very much moved on from my ex and love my current partner and saying potato doesn’t bring ex desires. So is there a way that I can ask or play out to my new partner that I want to be called potato? Or do I very sadly let this go haha

FRIEND CONSTANTLY STORY TOPS ME DURING CONVERSATIONS
How do I call out a friend that constantly brings up her own experience/s when I share mine? For example, if I share something about my kid, she won’t even acknowledge it and just share an anecdote about hers. Or if I tell her about a work thing, she’ll respond by saying how she’s been so busy and her manager is being difficult. Sometimes I think she’s trying to show me that she gets it and is being relatable. But talking to her is so invalidating and exhausting but I also don’t know how to call her out on it?? It really seems like she thinks she’s being a good friend when really she’s making every conversation about herself!
PARTNER DELETING SEARCH HISTORY
I’ve been with my partner a decade, we are about to get married very soon. Since early on in the relationship, he's always followed loads of women that post very sexy content and actually just loads of women in general, often liking posts. This used to really affect me when I was younger and it made me feel super insecure. He was fully aware of how I felt about this though. Time and time again I was having to remind him of why this hurts me and I wasn't okay with it, even though he'd continue. But then he turned it down over the years. Fast forward to now. I feel so much more secure in myself and I feel like I've grown so much over the years with my self-confidence. And I also trust him, honestly, rarely thinking or worrying about what he's up to on social media. However, just today I asked him if I could look at something on his phone or on Instagram. My phone was dead and instead of him just handing his phone over to me, he kept the phone and went to the search bar and asked me, what do you want to look up? About to look it up for himself. As he did this, I noticed he quickly started deleting multiple searches from his recent search history. I immediately asked why he felt the need to remove his searches, and why it was an issue for me to say he didn't really give me an answer of what the searches were, but said he didn't want to get in trouble. I asked why he felt like he'd get in trouble, and obviously it was something that would be upsetting for me to see. The fact that he decided to remove them immediately in front of my eyes. He said he was sorry and it was something he shouldn't have been looking at, but didn't really admit to. What now?I wouldn't say I've ever been a controlling partner. And I know it's so normal for men to look at other women and think that they're attractive. He has free will, and I have no right to be looking into his search history. However, my issue is with him seeking women out in social media constantly, even when he knows it gets under my skin.
It's made me feel really icky. Is this normal? I don't feel like I'm asking too much to expect of a partner that isn't looking at other women on social media constantly, or am I overreacting?
PARTNER DOESN'T KNOW HOW TO HAVE FUN OR LET LOOSE
My partner and I have been together for 8 years. We live quite different lives where I work in a bar which is social and I often go out afterwards and he has a standard 9-5. We own a house together and are getting married in May. We went to a wedding on the weekend and I noticed on the dance floor all these happy couples dancing, paying full attention to one another and both laughing and letting loose. My partner doesn’t behave like this, is quite awkward and seems like he doesn’t know how to dance or ever fully let loose. Others have noticed this too…….How can you get your partner to loosen up a little or is expecting this of him too much?
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Hosted by Britt Hockley & Laura Byrne
Produced by Keeshia Pettit
Video Produced by Vanessa Beckford & Lachy Pugsley
Tell your mum, tell your dad, tell your dog, tell your friend and share the love because WE LOVE LOVE! Xx
See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Welcome to Offcuts where we chat about whatever piqued our interest this week in a light, fun little package to send you off on your weekend!
We chat:
Britt has found her hallpass
Punch's new girlfriend
Is Timothee's Oscar's downfall Jenner coded?
Date my mate powerpoints
The neuroscience that explains why mums wake up more than dad
An opposing view on the infamous coldplay kisscam moment
You can watch us on Youtube
Find us on Instagram
Join us on tiktok
Or join the Facebook Discussion Group
Hosted by Britt Hockley & Laura Byrne
Produced by Keeshia Pettit
Video Produced by Vanessa Beckford & Lachy Pugsley
Tell your mum, tell your dad, tell your dog, tell your friend and share the love because WE LOVE LOVE! Xx
See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

There is so much conversation at the moment about the Epstein files and the trafficking of young women and girls. But while all the conversations seem to be around who was involved, who knew what and how this went uncovered for so long, the actual stories of survivors and their incredible strength can be lost. So today we are speaking to a trafficking survivor.

Lurata Lyon's life story is one of unimaginable hardship and extraordinary resilience. As a child in war-torn Yugoslavia, Lurata endured the horrors of war, being separated from her family, and being taken by human traffickers - not once, but twice. After surviving the first trafficking and returning home, Lurata was kidnapped by Serbia's illegitimate army. She was tortured, abused and held in captivity for 6 months.
Through her harrowing experiences of torment, abuse, and near-death, Lurata not only survived but found the strength to share her story with the world with the mission of stopping this happening to other children and young women.

We speak about:
Why traditional media aren’t talking about human trafficking
Lurata’s story of how she kidnapped and brought to a human trafficking boss
The one thing she said that changed their plans for her
How she escaped their horrific abuse
How Lurata was taken a second time
How she survived living in a ‘box’ that felt like a coffin
How her father saved her
Lurata’s life afterwards; how she found refuge in the UK and found love
Why Lurata shares her story and how common trafficking is
You can find Lurata’s book here
You can follow Lurata here
You can watch us on Youtube
Find us on Instagram
Join us on tiktok
Or join the Facebook Discussion Group
Hosted by Britt Hockley & Laura Byrne
Produced by Keeshia Pettit
Video Produced by Vanessa Beckford & Lachy Pugsley
Tell your mum, tell your dad, tell your dog, tell your friend and share the love because WE LOVE LOVE! Xx
See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Hey Lifers!
Britt has had a bit of a morning. Laura feels like she’s been on a bender from a lack of sleep but she may have found a solution (to knowing how much sleep she’s getting rather than actually getting more sleep). We have a particularly candid chat about botox and Britt shares the most recent embarrassing situation that she’s gotten herself into.
We all watched a documentary this week that has left a lot of the world quite shocked about the realities of the content being shared amongst young men. It’s the new Louis Theroux: Inside the Manosphere on Netflix, and it’s exactly what the title suggests; Louis Theroux diving into the online world of influencers who are shaping how a lot of young men think about masculinity, dating and women.
We speak about:
Why so many young men drawn to these ideas about masculinity, power and women
The Manosphere is a huge grift
The algorithm is partly to blame
The ludicrous amount of contradictions they make
Who the doco was actually made for
You can watch us on Youtube
Find us on Instagram
Join us on tiktok
Or join the Facebook Discussion Group
Hosted by Britt Hockley & Laura Byrne
Produced by Keeshia Pettit
Video Produced by Vanessa Beckford & Lachy Pugsley
Tell your mum, tell your dad, tell your dog, tell your friend and share the love because WE LOVE LOVE! Xx
See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Welcome back to your ask uncut where we unpack your deep and burning questions!
Vibes for the week:
Laura - Claude
Britt - @rainbowdads
Keeshia - The Dinner Ladies
Then we jump into your questions!
6 YEARS AND HES NEVER POSTED A PIC OF ME
My boyfriend has never posted a photo of me, and we’ve been together for six years. He was previously married, and our relationship started as an affair. Up until last year, he still had photos of his ex-wife on his social media, and I eventually asked him to take them down because it really hurt me. He’s honestly a great partner in every other way — there aren’t any obvious red flags. But he has never posted me, not once, and it quietly bothers me more than I’d like to admit. I think part of me worries that he feels embarrassed about how our relationship began, or that he doesn’t want to publicly acknowledge it because of the history. I know it might sound trivial, but it doesn’t feel trivial to me.
IS CHEATING ACCEPTABLE IF ITS FOR SPIRITUAL AWAKENING?
I’ve been dating an amazing guy for 5 weeks (known him 8 months), early days but the most emotionally mature relationship I’ve ever experienced. He told me he had these spiritual growth weekend workshops coming up which involve sexual energy which he had booked months ago and didn’t want them to come between our connection. He is always honest and transparent about everything with me and invites any questions I might have. I just said I am supportive of his passion for this.
After the first workshop he reassured me there were no sexual interactions. However, the next workshop is the amalgamation of all learnings and the final part involves penetrative sex and that he is partnered up with his ex (it wasn’t possible for me to do it as I hadn’t done the prep work). He strongly reiterated that he doesn't have any feelings towards her and he wants to pursue things with me. I said I was uncomfortable and it triggered jealousy and low self-worth in me. I didn’t explicitly say “don’t do this because it will hurt me and I don’t know if I could stay with you” but I thought I made my emotions clear. I said “if you feel you need to do this, then do what feels right” (I regret this).
So it happened, he did it. He could completely compartmentalise this act within the workshop and feels nothing for his ex, and he was really looking forward to being with me. Intellectually, I can understand the delineation between this and cheating but my nervous system does not. I feel like I wasn’t chosen and that my feelings weren’t considered. I ended it and we’re both devastated. I’m having second thoughts, he was transparent and honest, I didn’t explicitly express my boundaries… is this something I can overcome?
WHICH TOILET TO USE WITH KIDS?
Curious to know where people are at with the following scenario: a parent on their own, taking their child/children of the opposite gender to the toilets (public toilets or at a venue etc) when there may not be a gender neutral option available (whether that be because there isn’t one, or it is occupied and child is absolutely desperate) Do they take them to the child’s “correct” toilet? Wait outside? Or take them to the adult’s “correct” toilet, and at what age would people consider this no longer appropriate? Different answers to these questions, based on if the adult is male or female?? As a second point, do people think using the disabled toilets (for the above reason) is okay? Obviously these are rightfully meant for those that require the extra accessibility, so unsure if it feels wrong to occupy it - even when the purpose is to keep children safe?
HAVE I MADE THE RIGHT DECISION?
Have I made the right decision? I recently ended my relationship, we were together for 8 months. We had so much fun in that time and we went overseas together. Things have been a bit rocky on and off but overall it was great; he was all the things I look for in a guy; he respected me, made me laugh plus so many other great qualities. I’m not sure if I was completely happy, but I’m aware that I have to create my own happiness. Have I just been jeopardising our relationship to prevent myself from being happy by not picking? I’m sad now every time I think of our time together and look back through photos. How do I know if I made the right decision? I would love your advice and opinions on this. It’s been a month and I’m still sad.
You can watch us on Youtube
Find us on Instagram
Join us on tiktok
Or join the Facebook Discussion Group
Hosted by Britt Hockley & Laura Byrne
Produced by Keeshia Pettit
Video Produced by Vanessa Beckford & Lachy Pugsley
Tell your mum, tell your dad, tell your dog, tell your friend and share the love because WE LOVE LOVE! Xx
See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.