Welcome back to your ask uncut where we unpack your deep and burning questions!
Do you argue with your partner about household admin?
Vibes for the week:
Sensor light link
Britt - Marlo & Co Dog seat cover
Laura - Queen of Chess documentary on Netflix
Keeshia - @breeonabudget and Petrol Spy App
Then we jump into your questions!
WANT MY BF TO USE A PET NAME EX USED
Is it weird to want my new boyfriend to call me the pet name that my ex used to call me? I am not one for pet names, especially ones like Bub, babe, lovey etc. But in my past relationship I adopted the name potato. Yes weird, it was because part of my name was similar to the word potato in his language, but I loveddd it. Whenever I heard it I felt giddy and personalised and special etc. I really miss that word lol and yearn to be called potato again. I am very much moved on from my ex and love my current partner and saying potato doesn’t bring ex desires. So is there a way that I can ask or play out to my new partner that I want to be called potato? Or do I very sadly let this go haha
FRIEND CONSTANTLY STORY TOPS ME DURING CONVERSATIONS
How do I call out a friend that constantly brings up her own experience/s when I share mine? For example, if I share something about my kid, she won’t even acknowledge it and just share an anecdote about hers. Or if I tell her about a work thing, she’ll respond by saying how she’s been so busy and her manager is being difficult. Sometimes I think she’s trying to show me that she gets it and is being relatable. But talking to her is so invalidating and exhausting but I also don’t know how to call her out on it?? It really seems like she thinks she’s being a good friend when really she’s making every conversation about herself!
PARTNER DELETING SEARCH HISTORY
I’ve been with my partner a decade, we are about to get married very soon. Since early on in the relationship, he's always followed loads of women that post very sexy content and actually just loads of women in general, often liking posts. This used to really affect me when I was younger and it made me feel super insecure. He was fully aware of how I felt about this though. Time and time again I was having to remind him of why this hurts me and I wasn't okay with it, even though he'd continue. But then he turned it down over the years. Fast forward to now. I feel so much more secure in myself and I feel like I've grown so much over the years with my self-confidence. And I also trust him, honestly, rarely thinking or worrying about what he's up to on social media. However, just today I asked him if I could look at something on his phone or on Instagram. My phone was dead and instead of him just handing his phone over to me, he kept the phone and went to the search bar and asked me, what do you want to look up? About to look it up for himself. As he did this, I noticed he quickly started deleting multiple searches from his recent search history. I immediately asked why he felt the need to remove his searches, and why it was an issue for me to say he didn't really give me an answer of what the searches were, but said he didn't want to get in trouble. I asked why he felt like he'd get in trouble, and obviously it was something that would be upsetting for me to see. The fact that he decided to remove them immediately in front of my eyes. He said he was sorry and it was something he shouldn't have been looking at, but didn't really admit to. What now?I wouldn't say I've ever been a controlling partner. And I know it's so normal for men to look at other women and think that they're attractive. He has free will, and I have no right to be looking into his search history. However, my issue is with him seeking women out in social media constantly, even when he knows it gets under my skin.
It's made me feel really icky. Is this normal? I don't feel like I'm asking too much to expect of a partner that isn't looking at other women on social media constantly, or am I overreacting?
PARTNER DOESN'T KNOW HOW TO HAVE FUN OR LET LOOSE
My partner and I have been together for 8 years. We live quite different lives where I work in a bar which is social and I often go out afterwards and he has a standard 9-5. We own a house together and are getting married in May. We went to a wedding on the weekend and I noticed on the dance floor all these happy couples dancing, paying full attention to one another and both laughing and letting loose. My partner doesn’t behave like this, is quite awkward and seems like he doesn’t know how to dance or ever fully let loose. Others have noticed this too…….How can you get your partner to loosen up a little or is expecting this of him too much?
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