Life Uncut

Harrison James is an award-winning activist, author, and co-founder of the national law reform campaign #YourReferenceAintRelevant. Before all of that, he was a 13-year-old boy who became a victim of abuse that no child should ever experience.
After his parents separated, Harri moved in with his father at 13, seeking connection and a fresh start. What followed was years of grooming and sexual abuse at the hands of his stepmother; abuse that resulted in a pregnancy, a daughter Harri was forced to call his sister, and a web of silence and shame that nearly cost him his life.
Harri has since channelled that pain into something extraordinary. His #YourReferenceAintRelevant campaign,which he co-founded with fellow survivor Jarad Grice, has now driven legislative change across multiple jurisdictions, abolishing the use of good character references in the sentencing of convicted sex offenders. He's also the author of Transform Your Pain into Purpose, a part-memoir, part-practical guide for survivors and advocates.
We chat:
The turbulent household Harri grew up in and why his parents' divorce made him so vulnerable
How grooming actually works and why it looks exactly like love and care to a child who's starved of both
The moment Harry's dad walked in on the abuse and did nothing
What it was like to be a 15-year-old boy secretly caring for his own baby daughter while calling her his sister
The day his stepmother fled to the Philippines
How Harry ended up at a mental health facility at 19, and why that saved his life
His first experience of good character references: watching them being read aloud at his own father's DV sentencing
Why good character references are not just unfair they're the very thing that enables abuse to happen in the first place
The long, politically complicated road to law reform, and what's still left to do
Harry's partner Bella, their unexpected love story, and the baby girl they're expecting

You can follow Harrison on Instagram @itsharrijames

You can get Transform Your Pain into Purpose at all good bookstores.
Timestamps
0:00 — Trigger warning & introducing Harrison James
2:30 — What Harri's childhood looked like before his parents separated
5:45 — Choosing his dad at 13: the appeal of freedom and a fresh start
9:12 — How the grooming started
16:28 — His dad walked in on the abuse. His response was devastating
20:06 — The vasectomy: his dad's impossible denial of what was right in front of him
21:08 — Finding out his stepmother was pregnant on the school bus
33:00 — Telling his mum the truth for the first time
37:12 — Going public in 2022: why Harry posted that raw 11-minute Instagram video
40:30 — The good character references read aloud at his father's DV sentencing and how the campaign was born
46:48 — Writing Transform Your Pain into Purpose
48:30 — Meeting co-founder Jarad over a beer at the pub
52:00 — How abuse warped Harry's understanding of love and how Bella changed everything
56:17 — The campaign's wins: NSW, ACT, Victoria, Tasmania and New Zealand
58:20 — Sitting in the courtroom at Paul Frost's sentencing, and the moment he walked past the Downing Centre knowing it had changed
1:06:00 — Why this campaign isn't just legislative: it's a cultural shift
1:08:30 — His message to every survivor: you don't have to change a law to be worthy
You can watch us on Youtube
Find us on Instagram
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Hosted by Laura Byrne & Keeshia Pettit
Produced by Keeshia Pettit
Video Produced by Vanessa Beckford & Lachy Pugsley
Tell your mum, tell your dad, tell your dog, tell your friend and share the love because WE LOVE LOVE! Xx
See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Hey Lifers!
Have we been scammed by Meta? Britt is trying to learn Italian but she’s faced some hurdles! We talk about Meta ad scams and the great bot clear out of 2026.
Laura shares a story about… how do we encapsulate this?? a reformer Pilates machine, a spread eagle and someone who shouldn’t have been there to see it.
We also talk about a new phase of parenting that Laura has entered: her kids have worked out how to play Matt and Laura off against each other. How do you get back on the same page when your kids have found the gap?
Shoe Gate 2026.
An influencer fight that none of us should care about as much as we do.
Here's the timeline:
Female founder Lexi Ioannou (daughter of Real Housewives' Dina Manzo) sent a pair of shoes from her brand Nou to Bethenny Frankel.
Bethenny wore them multiple times but never tagged the brand.
However, when a follower directly asked where the shoes were from, Bethenny linked an affiliate dupe instead.
Lexi posted a now-viral callout video.
Bethenny said that she did this because the shoes were sold out and that would annoy her followers, and that Lexi has played the ‘short game’ and has some business lessons to learn.
We unpack both sides: the value of celebrity endorsement even without a tag, whether the exchange is ‘fair’, whether the affiliate link is the villain, and what it means when a small female-founded brand watches their product get replaced with a paid link.
TIMESTAMPS
0:00 - Britt's in Italy and may have been scammed by a language app
9:16 Laura's nanny situation and the thing she shouldn’t have seen
16:00 New parenting phase: the kids are playing mum and dad off against each other
25:19 Shoe Gate 2026: Bethenny Frankel, Lexi Ioannou and the affiliate dupe
49:46 Suck and sweet of the week
You can watch us on Youtube
Find us on Instagram
Join us on tiktok
Or join the Facebook Discussion Group
Hosted by Britt Hockley & Laura Byrne
Hosted by Britt Hockley & Keeshia Pettit
Video Produced by Vanessa Beckford & Lachy Pugsley
Tell your mum, tell your dad, tell your dog, tell your friend and share the love because WE LOVE LOVE! Xx
See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Welcome back to ask uncut where we answer your deep and burning dilemmas!
There’s some very spicy questions going down in our facebook group and most of it is done using nicknames. We need to poll if you want us to keep the nicknames or not!

Vibes and Unsubscribes
Britt - Unsubscribe from non Aussie actor being used in APEX
Vibe - Should I Marry A Murderer? on Netflix
Keeshia - @jeromecooksfood
Laura - Yuka App
Then we jump into your questions!
TRANSACTIONAL W*NK
So I listened to today’s episode when you asked who is wanking their partner off without sex?! The answer is me. I am doing that and have been for many years! My husband and I have been together for 10 years and he often asks for a wank so casually as if he is asking me to put the kettle on. I don’t even pretend to be in the mood, it almost just feels like a transaction and I have told him this, it doesn’t seem to bother him.
For context, we both have very mismatching libidos. I wouldn’t say he wants sex a lot, probably just the normal amount, but I literally never want it. It comes up as a problem regularly in our relationship but we never seem to do anything about it. I have floated the idea of how he would feel about an open relationship if he feels his needs are not being met but he won’t entertain the idea. I also have said he has 2 perfectly good hands if he wants to sort himself out but that doesn’t work either! I have told him I just don’t enjoy sex and I would happily go the rest of my life without it. I’m never satisfied and I just give in to satisfy him but leaves me feeling icky like I’m just pretending. I never orgasm. Both alone and together we have tried using toys but still no joy! Sorry for the long message but would appreciate any advice to help me stop a lifetime of transactional wanks!
GRANDPARENTS DON’T CARE ABOUT MY KID, THEIR 9TH GRAND CHILD
My parents aren't really interested in being grandparents anymore, or that is how it feels. I am the youngest child in my family, when my siblings had children, especially the first 2 my parents were besotted, they saw them everyday, took photos, and showered them with affection. My son is the 9th grandchild and it just feels like they are over it, nothing is exciting or new. They never ask about him, they don't ask for photos, they have never offered to mind him. He is beautiful and well behaved most of the time. They are older now and both have health issues, my sister is also a single mom and they have given her a lot of support. I just spent a week at home and I barely saw them. I am starting to feel very resentful toward my siblings even though it's not their fault. I don't feel like I can say anything but I just feel so sad about it. I don't have one but I am finding motherhood so lonely. My husband's parents have passed and it is really hitting me that we won't have support. Has anybody else been through this?
I DON'T WANT TO GO TO MY BROTHERS DESTINATION WEDDING - AM I BEING A BRAT OR REASONABLE?
My brother is getting married next year and it’s a destination wedding on a tropical island, but the wedding is the day before my 30th birthday. I know a wedding is obviously a way bigger deal than a birthday, and I’m not expecting everyone to make it about me. But turning 30 feels like a big milestone, and I already know my actual birthday will probably just become the recovery day after his wedding. Because it’s mostly siblings and friends going, I also probably won’t even have my parents with me on the day. What makes it worse is that I’m doing a Master’s, working in a hospital, and completing specialist training, so I’m already flat out. The wedding is also one month before my specialist written exam, so the timing feels awful. I feel guilty saying this, but I genuinely don’t want to go. Am I being a brat, or is this understandable? And how do I tell my brother and family without causing huge drama?

For more context, this won’t be my brother’s only wedding. They’re also having a bigger wedding back home with our extended family and all the older relatives, so it’s not like I’d be missing the wedding altogether. Part of why I feel so torn is that this island wedding is mostly made up of the bride’s friends and people from her side. On my brother’s side, it’s really just one of his high school best mate, me, and one cousin he’s close with. So if I don’t go, I honestly feel like there’ll barely be anyone there for him from our side, and that makes me feel really guilty. At the same time, I know I’d probably feel so out of place. Her friends and family are all very glamorous, influencer-type people, and I’m just really not that kind of person. I’m pretty low-key, I barely wear makeup, and I’m not into partying or drinking, so a destination wedding like this just isn’t something I’m excited about at all. I’m also worried that if I do go, I’ll be uncomfortable the entire time and it’ll show all over my face. I really don’t want to bring that energy to his wedding, which almost makes me feel like not going would be better than showing up and clearly not wanting to be there. I’d really love to know what you girls think, because I genuinely can’t tell if I’m being selfish or if this is a fair thing to be so torn over. Thank you so much for reading this and for always helping people make sense of life’s messier situations, it really means a lot.
PARTNER HAS TOO MANY HOBBIES
My fiancé, the father of our two children (7 and 4 months old) is a rather social butterfly. He is often out at the pub, fishing, surfing, checking the surf and working 5 days a week on top of that. He very rarely plans anything in advance; it's commonly spontaneous (especially fishing and surfing as its condition based). I feel so frustrated with him as he is out living his life like he’s a bachelor. I try to set a time for him to come home. He’s ALWAYS late anywhere from 10 minutes to an hour. I ask him to come home to help with the children and it’s always met with a “yep soon” and that’s always anywhere from 30 minutes to an hour. It drives me crazy! When I speak to him about my frustrations and concern about him being out more than he's spending time with his family he meets me with a “well I’m here now and because I want to be” but I feel like he doesn’t. Like if I didn’t ask or set a time he wouldn’t be home for hours! He spends up to 6 -10 hours at a time with his mates at the pub or out doing other stuff with them…is this normal? Am I crazy?

TIMESTAMPS
0:00 — Intro
4:43 — Vibes of the week:
14:22 — Q1: The Transactional Wank
26:30 — Q2: My parents have run out of grandparent energy
37:27 — Q3: I don't want to go to my brother's destination wedding
49:40 — Q4: Is my husband living his best bachelor life while I have a 4-month-old?
You can watch us on Youtube
Find us on Instagram
Join us on tiktok
Or join the Facebook Discussion Group
Hosted by Britt Hockley & Laura Byrne
Produced by Keeshia Pettit
Video Produced by Vanessa Beckford & Lachy Pugsley
Tell your mum, tell your dad, tell your dog, tell your friend and share the love because WE LOVE LOVE! Xx
See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Hey Lifers! Welcome to your weekend nom nom nom nom 🎙️
We kick things off with Keeshia finally receiving the long-awaited Santa sacks of Laura's hand-me-downs only to discover Laura accidentally donated a brand new alpaca shirt she never even wore. With the security tag still on it.
A bloke went viral after using Claude AI to be his girlfriend's boyfriend for two weeks while she was in Bali — morning texts, good night messages, inside jokes, weather updates, the lot. He even coded in a jealousy function.
Next, the "ghost lift" — the cosmetic procedure where surgeons are harvesting fat, skin and rib cartilage from cadavers to inject into the living. Bigger lips, chiselled jaws, breast augmentation. All from dead people.
PSA 📣 If you're in Australia, you can no longer register as an organ donor on your driver's licence — you now have to sign up separately at Donate Life
Denmark has officially banned the cry-it-out sleep method, backed by 700 psychologists who say the neuroscience is clear. Laura shares what it was really like in the trenches with Lola, and we discuss what this means for exhausted parents everywhere.
Australia is revoking passports of parents who owe child support and an Aussie dad who went viral after being pulled aside by the AFP at the airport before his Bali holiday with his fiancée did not get the sympathy he was looking for.
And finally, we came across a survey of a million women in their 30s asking what they miss about life before the internet. We get into phone use at dinner, always being contactable, the pressure to learn every AI tool before you get left behind, and why we all just want to be properly bored again.
You can watch us on Youtube
Find us on Instagram
Join us on tiktok
Or join the Facebook Discussion Group
Hosted by Britt Hockley & Laura Byrne

Produced by Keeshia Pettit
Video Produced by Vanessa Beckford & Lachy Pugsley
Tell your mum, tell your dad, tell your dog, tell your friend and share the love because WE LOVE LOVE! Xx
⏱️ TIMESTAMPS
0:00 — Intro
6:36 — Man uses Claude AI to be his girlfriend's boyfriend for 2 weeks
13:06 — The "ghost lift": cadaver fat injections for cosmetic surgery
21:47 — Denmark bans the cry-it-out sleep method — backed by 700 psychologists
30:12 — Passports being revoked for unpaid child support
38:30 —What do women in their 30s miss about life before the internet?
See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Hey lifers!
Our guest Ask Uncut is BACK! Once a month (ish 😂) we bring in a special guest to help unpack your deep and burning questions, and this month's guest is the one and only Kayla Jade, also known as Blue Eyed Kayla Jade!
Kayla Jade is an OnlyFans star, porn creator, podcaster, entrepreneur, call girl, and now a debut author. With over 3 million followers across social media, Kayla Jade is one of the most fascinating, open, and honest voices talking about sex work today. She joins us in the studio to answer your deep and burning questions, but first... the pettiest hill she'll die on.
Then we jump into your questions!
HE'S CHEATING AND I HAVE ALL THE EVIDENCE — NOW WHAT? I've been with my partner for almost five years. Long distance, great chemistry. Last weekend I found out he's been living a double life and I caught him via a hiking app. I went full NYPD and connected the evidence back two years. I know I'm the other woman. Do I go along with it, end it, or go nuclear and detonate his entire life?
MY EX STARTED GOING TO THE GYM AFTER WE BROKE UP AND I'M FURIOUS
For four years I could not get this man to take a 20-minute walk. I suggested the gym approximately 100 times. He said he "just wasn't a gym person." He absolutely is a gym person. He was just not a gym person for me. Do I message him about it?
I'M THINKING ABOUT STARTING AN ONLYFANS BUT I'M SCARED
I'm 26, working as a DJ, and financially it just makes sense. The thing stopping me isn't the content itself it's what other people might think. My family are conservative, I grew up in a small town and I've moved somewhere that's still not a capital city. Any advice?
I LOVE MY KIDS BUT I MISS MYSELF
I have two kids and I love them more than I knew it was possible to love anything. But I genuinely grieve the person I was before I became a mum. How can you love something completely and still want to be the person you were before them? Does everyone feel like this?
You can find everything Kayla Jade including her book Call Girl Confidential here
⏱️ Timestamps
0:00 — Introducing Kayla Jade: OnlyFans star, porn creator, podcaster & debut author
1:35 — How Kayla got started: from small town to OnlyFans during Covid
3:40 — OnlyFans vs. full service sex work — which pays more?
6:30 — Being doxxed as a mum
9:35 — The biggest misconceptions about sex work
14:50 — Pettiest hill
16:00 — How sex work has affected Kayla's ability to trust and date
20:15 — Listener Q: Caught cheating via a hiking app
27:45 — Listener Q: My ex started going to the gym after we broke up
33:55 — Listener Q: Should I start an OnlyFans?
40:42 — Listener Q: I love my kids but I grieve who I was before becoming a mum
46:30 — All about Call Girl Confidential

You can watch us on Youtube
Find us on Instagram
Join us on tiktok
Or join the Facebook Discussion Group
Hosted by Keeshia Pettit & Laura Byrne
Produced by Keeshia Pettit
Video Produced by Vanessa Beckford & Lachy Pugsley
Tell your mum, tell your dad, tell your dog, tell your friend and share the love because WE LOVE LOVE! Xx

See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.