Hey Lifers! Welcome to Ask Uncut - your deepest, darkest and most burning questions, answered.
Today’s episode comes to you slightly compromised. Britt had a few drinks in Italy last night… their wedding photographer Cass arrived with his partner Sarah and, well, “when in Rome” turned into a few too many cocktails. She was up at 5:30am, giant glass of water in hand, ready to earn her bacon. She earned it!
Vibes for the week:
Britt: Raising Chelsea https://www.disneyplus.com/en-au/browse/entity-0b7ad228-5160-4dde-8a64-bd7c9e7f2ebf
Laura: A Bit Hippie Hair Repair Kit https://abithippy.com.au/collections/hair-treatments?srsltid=AfmBOooqgRYDlZikT0tq8IB2dgd3pHYKVp1-XPr4pGaPtN_VoUU1Nceb
Then we get into your questions!
MY PARTNER AND I ARE HAVING A BABY SOON
Won't ramble on about how he is a great partner otherwise I wouldn't have chosen him to be my person…The only problem we have is that like most young people these days we used to do cocaine, not a lot..just a few times a year. Mostly at special occasions with friends. Now in our 30's since we started trying for a baby I stopped drinking/drugs to give it our best chance to conceive. My partners use has become more and more regular in the past year, he will bender for a whole weekend once and month and spend $1000+. I thought he would have changed in this new season in our lives together. He tells me he will change when the baby comes. I think he should be supporting this new life now as it makes me really anxious for our future. We have been battling this for a year, constant fighting, I told him how it upsets me when he does it so often. I care about his health, his job, the wasted finances, a possible addiction etc. He tells me he won't change, it's not a big deal as he only does it once a month and it's not a daily/weekly thing and I'm a hypocrite because I used to do it. The last fight we had was really bad because he promised me we wouldn't anymore and then a few days later I caught him doing it. I was so upset | left and stayed with my parents for a few days.. he begged me to come back and that things would change, they haven't. We have been battling this for a year, constant fighting. I love him but it hurts me so much, it feels like he doesn't respect me at all. And the stress on top of being pregnant is not good for me. What should I do? Am I overreacting? Is it not that big of a deal? Do I wait and see if the baby will change him? Is this a dealbreaker? It doesn't feel that easy now as there will be a baby involved. Any advice would be great
TO MOVE OR NOT TO MOVE
My best friend got engaged last year, and recently we were talking about timelines for weddings. She basically said that if someone in your close circle (like a best friend or cousin) is engaged before you, it’s kind of “rude” to get married before them, like there’s an unspoken order you should follow. Apparently in her family/social circle, people wait their turn so no one “cuts in” with their wedding, and it’s caused actual fallouts when people didn’t follow that. I had literally NEVER heard of this and thought weddings were just whenever suits the couple? But now I’m second guessing myself. She spoke about waiting for her to have her moment before anyone else can have theirs. Personally, I don’t care about my “moment”, I just want to marry the love of my life when it suits us. Is there actually an unspoken etiquette around not getting married before friends who got engaged first? Or is this just a cultural/family-specific thing
MY FRIEND WON'T SET ME UP
I recently had a friend tell me that she was too busy to organise a set up with a guy whom she had suggested to me without organising. For context: I’m the only single friend in a group of 7 people. This has meant countless weddings, baby showers, first birthdays and general catch ups where I am attending on my own. My friends have struggled to understand the impact that this has on me and at 32, I find all of these interactions pretty hard. Recently my friend told me that a colleague potentially knew someone who they could set me up with, without me even asking for her to do this. When I tried to follow up 2 months later to casually see what the go is (after being ghosted by a guy I liked and having minimal support), she bluntly told me that she and her colleague had been too busy at work. I tried to say that it had been two months so was just curious and I got a list of why she had been too busy. I feel like as the single friend I am constantly turning up for everyone with minimal return; I’ve listened to this friend talk about her fertility struggles and her co-parenting struggles with her step child, and I also listen to her work stressors. I’m also working in a high pressure job as well as living on my own and carry the burden of this on my own with most friends too preoccupied with their partners and children to listen or let me debrief. Am I being overly sensitive or should I raise with her how it made me feel to shut me down and say she had been too busy to send a text
CAN YOU USE BINS
I was on a walk with my friend the other day and we grabbed a takeout coffee. To add context we were walking around our suburb and it was bin day. Once I finish my coffee, I put it in someone’s bin that was on the curb. Now this bin had already been collected so it was empty but I still put my coffee cup in it. She said that that is so rude and I shouldn’t have done that. I didn’t see an issue with it because it was a little coffee cup and it was a bit. What are your thoughts on this? Thank you.
⏱️ TIMESTAMPS
00:00 — Britt accidentally got drunk in Italy and is recording at 5:30am
03:56 — Vibes of the week
11:04 — Q1: My pregnant partner keeps going on cocaine benders - am I overreacting?
23:13 — Q2: Is there an unspoken rule about who gets to get married first?
31:54 — Q3: My friend promised to set me up months ago and still hasn't sent the text!
44:06 — Q4: Can you put your rubbish in a stranger's bin?
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