Doing Life with Ken and Tabatha

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Keeping a mental list of your spouse’s mistakes feels like self-protection, but it quietly turns your home into a courtroom. When every argument pulls out old receipts, intimacy dies, progress feels impossible, and “I forgive you” starts sounding like a trap. We get honest about what list keeping really is: mentally recording mistakes, replaying past failures, storing hurt for future fights, and measuring your spouse by who they used to be instead of who they are becoming. 

We also dig into the deeper reason the list won’t go away: the original wound never healed. That’s why some couples describe a betrayal from five or ten years ago like it happened last week. We connect the dots between unforgiveness, negativity, and confirmation bias, and we challenge the habit of fault finding that makes you look for proof rather than pursue peace. Along the way, we ground the conversation in 1 Corinthians 13 and the idea that love keeps no record of wrongs, while still acknowledging a crucial truth: love and trust are not the same thing, and wise boundaries can coexist with real forgiveness. 

You’ll walk away with practical steps to drop the list for good: forgive fully, stop rehearsing the offense, replace accusation with communication, separate patterns from moments, give credit for change, and ask God to heal the first hurt that started the scorekeeping. If you want a healthier marriage, a stronger emotional connection, and a future that isn’t chained to the past, press play and do this with us. Subscribe, share this with a friend who needs it, and leave a review so more couples can find the help.
GET THE BETTER MARRIAGE BOOTCAMP HERE:

Better Marriage Bootcamp (kenandtabatha.com)

Better Marriage 90-Day Devotional:
90 Day Better Marriage Devotional - Ken and Tabatha (square.site)

DOWNLOAD THE FAMILY MEETING OUTLINE HERE ⬇️
https://www.kenandtabatha.com/pl/2148103888

📍 Join us in Florida at Alive Church — with campuses in Orlando, Tampa & Gainesville.

🎟 And don’t miss Alive Conference coming soon — 3 days that can change the next 30 years of your life!
https://redeemedevents.com/event-details/1875

Support Our Ministry: 
https://myalivechurch.org/give

Connect with us:

- Website:

https://www.kenclaytor.com
https://www.tabathaclaytor.com
https://www.myalivechurch.org

- Socials:

Instagram -

https://www.instagram.com/kenclaytor/
https://www.instagram.com/tabathaclaytor/
https://www.instagram.com/myalivechurch/

TikTok-

@Ken_Claytor
@Tabathaclaytor
@myalivechurch

Facebook-

https://www.facebook.com/PastorKenClaytor
https://www.facebook.com/pastortabathaclaytor
https://www.facebook.com/myalivechurch

- Ask us questions: 

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Send us Fan Mail
A bad marriage can feel like you’re trapped in the same house with a stranger, stuck between “I don’t want to leave” and “I can’t do this anymore.” We go straight at that tension with humility and authority, because we’ve lived it. After 26 years of marriage and a rough start that nearly ended in divorce, we’ve learned that a struggling marriage is often less about “the wrong person” and more about missing tools, missing clarity, and missing spiritual covering.

We talk through what “bad marriage” really means, from emotional distance and constant tension to loneliness, lack of intimacy, and repeated arguments. We also name the situations that require immediate outside help, including adultery, abuse, and abandonment, and why counseling and wise leadership matter. Then we challenge one of the biggest traps couples fall into: focusing all their energy on changing their spouse. You can’t manipulate transformation, but you can take responsibility for your part, rebuild emotional safety, and choose respect when it would be easier to react.

We also unpack faith as action, not wishful thinking. That includes building a war room prayer life, refusing the spirit of accusation in your home, and learning to speak life over your spouse and your future. Finally, we lay out seven biblical steps to help turn a bad season around: stop pretending, get clear on what’s broken, own your part, stop fighting alone, rebuild safety, reintroduce God, and choose growth over escape.

If you’re looking for Christian marriage advice, biblical steps to save your marriage, and practical help for a struggling marriage, press play, share this with a friend, and leave a review so more couples can find it.
GET THE BETTER MARRIAGE BOOTCAMP HERE:

Better Marriage Bootcamp (kenandtabatha.com)

Better Marriage 90-Day Devotional:
90 Day Better Marriage Devotional - Ken and Tabatha (square.site)

DOWNLOAD THE FAMILY MEETING OUTLINE HERE ⬇️
https://www.kenandtabatha.com/pl/2148103888

📍 Join us in Florida at Alive Church — with campuses in Orlando, Tampa & Gainesville.

🎟 And don’t miss Alive Conference coming soon — 3 days that can change the next 30 years of your life!
https://redeemedevents.com/event-details/1875

Support Our Ministry: 
https://myalivechurch.org/give

Connect with us:

- Website:

https://www.kenclaytor.com
https://www.tabathaclaytor.com
https://www.myalivechurch.org

- Socials:

Instagram -

https://www.instagram.com/kenclaytor/
https://www.instagram.com/tabathaclaytor/
https://www.instagram.com/myalivechurch/

TikTok-

@Ken_Claytor
@Tabathaclaytor
@myalivechurch

Facebook-

https://www.facebook.com/PastorKenClaytor
https://www.facebook.com/pastortabathaclaytor
https://www.facebook.com/myalivechurch

- Ask us questions: 

i...

Send us Fan Mail
Hurt has a way of sneaking into every relationship, and if we don’t deal with it, it doesn’t just fade. It hardens. Ken and Tabitha Claytor get honest about how emotional wounds, unmet expectations, betrayal, and disappointment can quietly turn into bitterness that reshapes your personality, drains your joy, and poisons your marriage, friendships, and faith.

We talk through what hurt really is, why “church hurt” is often just people hurt, and how maturity means learning to stay grounded instead of running from every painful moment. Along the way, we share real stories, name the difference between reacting and responding, and explain how replaying pain without healing creates resentment, cynicism, suspicion, and withdrawal. If you’ve felt guarded, negative, or constantly bracing for the worst, we help you spot the signs of a bitter root before it spreads.

Then we get practical and spiritual. We walk through eight clear steps for healing, including prayer, forgiveness without an apology, choosing safe people to process with, refusing a victim mindset, and using gratitude to starve bitterness. We close with a powerful prayer and daily declarations you can speak to break the cycle and move forward free.

Subscribe, share this with someone who’s carrying heavy hurt, and leave a review if it helps. What’s one wound you’re ready to stop replaying and finally heal?
GET THE BETTER MARRIAGE BOOTCAMP HERE:

Better Marriage Bootcamp (kenandtabatha.com)

Better Marriage 90-Day Devotional:
90 Day Better Marriage Devotional - Ken and Tabatha (square.site)

DOWNLOAD THE FAMILY MEETING OUTLINE HERE ⬇️
https://www.kenandtabatha.com/pl/2148103888

📍 Join us in Florida at Alive Church — with campuses in Orlando, Tampa & Gainesville.

🎟 And don’t miss Alive Conference coming soon — 3 days that can change the next 30 years of your life!
https://redeemedevents.com/event-details/1875

Support Our Ministry: 
https://myalivechurch.org/give

Connect with us:

- Website:

https://www.kenclaytor.com
https://www.tabathaclaytor.com
https://www.myalivechurch.org

- Socials:

Instagram -

https://www.instagram.com/kenclaytor/
https://www.instagram.com/tabathaclaytor/
https://www.instagram.com/myalivechurch/

TikTok-

@Ken_Claytor
@Tabathaclaytor
@myalivechurch

Facebook-

https://www.facebook.com/PastorKenClaytor
https://www.facebook.com/pastortabathaclaytor
https://www.facebook.com/myalivechurch

- Ask us questions: 

i...

Send us Fan Mail
Some battles don’t start in your schedule, your bank account, or your relationships. They start as a thought you never challenge, a fear you keep feeding, or an offense you refuse to release. We talk about spiritual warfare with a steady head and a strong spine: not blaming the devil for every problem, but also not pretending the enemy isn’t real or organized.

We walk through what spiritual warfare actually looks like for believers, why the mind is such a target, and how deception can make a lie feel “obvious” while God’s truth starts to sound questionable. Tabatha shares her personal story of being set free from depression after years of coping methods that helped but didn’t cure. That testimony opens a bigger conversation about identity in Christ, spiritual authority, and why the Word of God matters when you’re facing anxiety, discouragement, temptation, or confusion.

We also get practical. We break down Ephesians 6 and the reality that our fight isn’t against flesh and blood, then lay out clear tactics the enemy uses: offense, isolation, distraction, compromise, and weariness. We end with direct, faith-filled prayers to renounce depression, anxiety, addiction, fear, and any occult doors, plus steps to stay submitted to God, stay in community, speak truth out loud, and rest when you’re tired. If you want a biblical, actionable guide to Christian spiritual warfare, deliverance, and resisting the devil, this conversation is for you.

Subscribe for more, share this with someone who’s in a fight, and if this helped you, leave a rating and review so more people can find it.
GET THE BETTER MARRIAGE BOOTCAMP HERE:

Better Marriage Bootcamp (kenandtabatha.com)

Better Marriage 90-Day Devotional:
90 Day Better Marriage Devotional - Ken and Tabatha (square.site)

DOWNLOAD THE FAMILY MEETING OUTLINE HERE ⬇️
https://www.kenandtabatha.com/pl/2148103888

📍 Join us in Florida at Alive Church — with campuses in Orlando, Tampa & Gainesville.

🎟 And don’t miss Alive Conference coming soon — 3 days that can change the next 30 years of your life!
https://redeemedevents.com/event-details/1875

Support Our Ministry: 
https://myalivechurch.org/give

Connect with us:

- Website:

https://www.kenclaytor.com
https://www.tabathaclaytor.com
https://www.myalivechurch.org

- Socials:

Instagram -

https://www.instagram.com/kenclaytor/
https://www.instagram.com/tabathaclaytor/
https://www.instagram.com/myalivechurch/

TikTok-

@Ken_Claytor
@Tabathaclaytor
@myalivechurch

Facebook-

https://www.facebook.com/PastorKenClaytor
https://www.facebook.com/pastortabathaclaytor
https://www.facebook.com/myalivechurch

- Ask us questions: 

i...

Send us Fan Mail
We name the difference between healthy and unhealthy soul ties, then get honest about why certain relationships keep pulling us back even when they hurt. We walk through spiritual and practical steps to break ungodly connections and close with a renouncing prayer for healing and freedom. 

• defining soul ties as emotional, mental, and will-level bonding 
• healthy soul ties in marriage, family, mentorship, and godly friendship 
• unhealthy soul ties formed through manipulation, trauma bonding, and emotional dependence 
• Tabatha’s testimony of breaking ties with words and obedience 
• how trauma and sexual abuse can create lingering attachment and shame 
• why sexual purity matters and how sexual sin creates bondage 
• how unbroken past connections can affect dating and marriage 
• signs you may have an unhealthy soul tie including comparison, guilt, confusion, and stalking social media 
• why people stay in toxic relationships and how self-worth gets targeted 
• safety, community, and practical help for leaving abusive relationships 
• a step-by-step framework to acknowledge, repent, forgive, cut access, renounce, and renew your mind 
• a guided renouncing prayer and declarations for peace, healing, and a clear path forward 

I want you to just take a moment, comment in the section below. Let us know the soul ties that you’ve had, how you’ve overcome them, what you need prayer for, and share this with other people. 
If you’re new to our podcast, make sure you hit the subscribe button or the alert icon. 
You can get your tickets right now. And the website is in the show notes. 

GET THE BETTER MARRIAGE BOOTCAMP HERE:

Better Marriage Bootcamp (kenandtabatha.com)

Better Marriage 90-Day Devotional:
90 Day Better Marriage Devotional - Ken and Tabatha (square.site)

DOWNLOAD THE FAMILY MEETING OUTLINE HERE ⬇️
https://www.kenandtabatha.com/pl/2148103888

📍 Join us in Florida at Alive Church — with campuses in Orlando, Tampa & Gainesville.

🎟 And don’t miss Alive Conference coming soon — 3 days that can change the next 30 years of your life!
https://redeemedevents.com/event-details/1875

Support Our Ministry: 
https://myalivechurch.org/give

Connect with us:

- Website:

https://www.kenclaytor.com
https://www.tabathaclaytor.com
https://www.myalivechurch.org

- Socials:

Instagram -

https://www.instagram.com/kenclaytor/
https://www.instagram.com/tabathaclaytor/
https://www.instagram.com/myalivechurch/

TikTok-

@Ken_Claytor
@Tabathaclaytor
@myalivechurch

Facebook-

https://www.facebook.com/PastorKenClaytor
https://www.facebook.com/pastortabathaclaytor
https://www.facebook.com/myalivechurch

- Ask us questions: 

i...