Conversations With Candice

"What actually hurts us as humans is expectation. You create your own lust—it takes two to sprinkle a little stardust on the routine."
Welcome back to Chapter Two, Episode Eight of Conversations with Candice! We are just two episodes away from closing out our chapter on Love & Relationships, and today’s episode delivers some of our most passionate, unfiltered debates yet.

CHAPTER THREE HOUSEKEEPING REMINDER: Starting in Chapter Three, full-length video episodes are moving exclusively behind a paid paywall on Substack! Free audio will always remain 30 minutes on all podcast networks (Spotify, Apple, Acast), but the full 1-hour video experience, deep dives, exclusive monthly live sessions, and closed group chat will live solely on Substack.

Inside the Dilemma Inbox today:

Dilemma 1 (Starting a PhD & The Silent Husband): A listener starting her PhD after 10 years of putting her family first feels crushed by her husband's lack of enthusiasm. Candice and Bode unpack the "invisible labour" that holds up a home, male competition, "negging", and why unmet expectations open the gates for pain.
Dilemma 2 ("I've Fallen Out of Lust" After 16 Years): Married with three kids, feeling like roommates, and losing the spicy spark. Candice questions why men let themselves go, prompting Bode to passionately push back on male mental health, financial stress, and patriarchal expectations.
Creating Your Own Lust: How predictability kills desire and why you have to work with the "Polestar 4" in your yard!

No experts, no perfection. Just real conversations about life as we're actually living it.

📚 READ & JOIN US ON SUBSTACK
Join the inner circle on Substack to catch full 1-hour video episodes in Chapter 3, exclusive articles, and private chat groups:

Substack Profile: https://candicebrathwaite.substack.com
🔗 LISTEN & SUBSCRIBE ACROSS CHANNELS
Spotify: https://open.spotify.com/show/6ifcRNeOOcHOgovuhk9i2K?si=6c87234b263c4547
Apple Podcasts: https://podcasts.apple.com/gb/podcast/conversations-with-candice/id1882427274
Amazon Music: https://music.amazon.co.uk/podcasts/54f972c1-650d-401a-8418-cf499de44b24/conversations-with-candice
Acast RSS Feed: https://feeds.acast.com/public/shows/conversations-with-candice
📱 FOLLOW CANDICE ON SOCIALS
Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/candicebrathwaite
TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@candicebrathwaite
🎬 PRODUCTION NOTES & CREDITS
Produced by: Undeniable Productions
Executive Produced by: Candice Brathwaite Aboderin and Bode Aboderin
Enjoyed this episode? Subscribe so you never miss a conversation.

Conversations with Candice is hosted by two-time Sunday Times bestselling author and cultural commentator Candice Brathwaite. New episodes every week.

Get in touch: contact@conversationswithcandicepodcast.com

Listen on Acast: https://shows.acast.com/conversations-with-candice

Watch on YouTube: https://youtube.com/@conversationswithcandicepod

Follow Candice:
Instagram: @candicebrathwaite
TikTok: @candicebrathwaite
If you love the show, please leave a review, it really helps others find us. Remain Unrealistic.

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

"Don't you dare give another 20 years. If you pulled yourself up by your bootstraps and put yourself in a good financial position once, you can make shit pop again. Never forget that."

Welcome back to Chapter Two, Episode Seven of Conversations with Candice! Summer holidays are in full swing, stress levels are high, but we are back in the studio answering your most pressing questions about love, compromise, betrayal, and self-worth.

📢 MAJOR ANNOUNCEMENT FOR CHAPTER THREE: Starting in Chapter Three, full-length video episodes are moving exclusively behind a paywall on Substack! Free audio will always remain 30 minutes on all podcast networks (Spotify, Apple, Acast), but the full 1-hour video experience, deep dives, exclusive monthly live sessions, and private community chat will live solely on Substack.

Inside the Dilemma Inbox today:

Dilemma 1 (Relocating vs. Staying Put): One partner wants to move abroad while the other wants to stay in the UK. Candice and Bode break down Bode’s "Act of OR vs. Act of AND" philosophy, how couples can take turns pursuing dreams, and knowing whether a relationship is worth sacrificing for.
Dilemma 2 (Discovering 20+ Years of Infidelity): A listener discovers her husband has never been faithful and feels financially terrified to start over in her 40s. Candice and Bode talk about reclaiming financial independence ("get vexed money"), breaking free from fear, and the physical/emotional risks of staying with an unfaithful partner.
Dilemma 3 (Emotional Affairs & Minimizing Pain): How do you navigate betrayal when he says "it wasn't physical" and minimizes your pain? Candice addresses the trap of self-betrayal, why women stay in pigsties just to be "chosen," and why serving an ultimatum means being ready to walk away.

No experts, no perfection. Just real conversations about life as we're actually living it.

📚 READ & JOIN US ON SUBSTACK
Join the inner circle on Substack to catch full 1-hour video episodes in Chapter 3, exclusive articles, and private chat groups:

Substack Profile: https://candicebrathwaite.substack.com

🔗 LISTEN & SUBSCRIBE ACROSS CHANNELS
Spotify: https://open.spotify.com/show/6ifcRNeOOcHOgovuhk9i2K?si=6c87234b263c4547

Apple Podcasts: https://podcasts.apple.com/gb/podcast/conversations-with-candice/id1882427274

Amazon Music: https://music.amazon.co.uk/podcasts/54f972c1-650d-401a-8418-cf499de44b24/conversations-with-candice

Acast RSS Feed: https://feeds.acast.com/public/shows/conversations-with-candice

📱 FOLLOW CANDICE ON SOCIALS
Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/candicebrathwaite

TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@candicebrathwaite

🎬 PRODUCTION NOTES & CREDITS
Produced by: Undeniable Productions
Executive Produced by: Candice Brathwaite Aboderin and Bode Aboderin
Enjoyed this episode? Subscribe so you never miss a conversation.

Conversations with Candice is hosted by two-time Sunday Times bestselling author and cultural commentator Candice Brathwaite. New episodes every week.

Get in touch: contact@conversationswithcandicepodcast.com

Listen on Acast: https://shows.acast.com/conversations-with-candice

Watch on YouTube: https://youtube.com/@conversationswithcandicepod

Follow Candice:
Instagram: @candicebrathwaite
TikTok: @candicebrathwaite
If you love the show, please leave a review, it really helps others find us. Remain Unrealistic.

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

"Living with a man is not a prerequisite for a good, healthy relationship. Do not let loneliness win in a quiet moment and fill that precious space in your bed with any old flimsy dickhead."

Welcome back to Chapter Two, Episode Six of Conversations with Candice! We are past the halfway mark of our season on Love & Relationships, and today we are tackling three massive, deeply nuanced listener dilemmas that range from dating burnout abroad to bedrooms running dry.
Candice and co-producer Uncle Bode take on the Dilemma Inbox to answer the real, unfiltered questions you’re too afraid to ask out loud. How do you stop settling out of fear, how do you protect your mind from social media rage, and how do you reignite intimacy when life gets in the way?
Inside the Dilemma Inbox today:

Dilemma 1 (Voice Note from Sylvia in Indonesia): Single for 4 years, living abroad, and terrified of "dying alone." Candice and Bode break down why cohabitation isn't mandatory for commitment, the value of writing down your "dream imperfect man," and the critical distinction between materialistic and moral standards.
Dilemma 2 (Deconstructing "DL" Rumors & Algorithm Bias): A wild story about a Northwest London ex prompts a vital discussion on homophobia, algorithm bias, how social media ruins self-governance, and why you must stop reading the comment section.
Dilemma 3 (Fixing a Dry Bedroom): Still in love and flirting, but the sex life is non-existent? Candice and Bode unpack how external stress, financial pressure, male mid-life epiphanies, perimenopause, and drops in testosterone affect libido—plus why straight couples need to drop the shame around sex toys.
Bode’s Golden Rule on Social Media: Understanding the "Rage Bucket" and reclaiming your ability to form independent opinions without online bias.

No experts, no perfection. Just real conversations about life as we're actually living it.

📚 READ & CONNECT ON SUBSTACK
Join the inner circle on Substack for deep-dive articles, essays, and offline sex/relationship talks:

Substack Profile: https://candicebrathwaite.substack.com
🔗 LISTEN & SUBSCRIBE ACROSS CHANNELS
Spotify: https://open.spotify.com/show/6ifcRNeOOcHOgovuhk9i2K?si=6c87234b263c4547
Apple Podcasts: https://podcasts.apple.com/gb/podcast/conversations-with-candice/id1882427274
Amazon Music: https://music.amazon.co.uk/podcasts/54f972c1-650d-401a-8418-cf499de44b24/conversations-with-candice
Acast RSS Feed: https://feeds.acast.com/public/shows/conversations-with-candice
📱 FOLLOW CANDICE ON SOCIALS
Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/candicebrathwaite
TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@candicebrathwaite
🎬 PRODUCTION NOTES & CREDITS
Produced by: Undeniable Productions
Executive Produced by: Candice Brathwaite Aboderin and Bode Aboderin

Enjoyed this episode? Subscribe so you never miss a conversation.

Conversations with Candice is hosted by two-time Sunday Times bestselling author and cultural commentator Candice Brathwaite. New episodes every week.

Get in touch: contact@conversationswithcandicepodcast.com

Listen on Acast: https://shows.acast.com/conversations-with-candice

Watch on YouTube: https://youtube.com/@conversationswithcandicepod

Follow Candice:
Instagram: @candicebrathwaite
TikTok: @candicebrathwaite
If you love the show, please leave a review, it really helps others find us. Remain Unrealistic.

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

"Who said a mother's love was fundamental? Preach to me, because we are learning together. What if, before they were our mothers, they were just broken girls and women themselves?"

Welcome back to Chapter Two, Episode Five of Conversations with Candice! This season is all about love and relationships, but today we are widening the lens completely. We aren't just talking about romantic partnerships; we are honoring the massive emotional weight of parental wounds, family dynamics, and the grueling, necessary process of saving ourselves.

Candice and co-producer Uncle Bode return to the chamber to answer heavy-hitting questions from the listener inbox. How do you stop letting the ghosts of your past dictate your present, and how do you find comfort in quiet places when you've been conditioned to run on pure chaos?
Inside the Dilemma Inbox today:
Dilemma 1: A well-known couple of 30 years (with six grown children!) wants to start a podcast about their real marriage struggles but is paralyzed by the fear of public judgment. Candice and Bode break down the core difference between the 'fear of knowing' and the 'fear of judging,' and why you shouldn't roll in the mud with the pigs.
Dilemma 2 (The Mother Wound): Going 'no-contact' with a mother is the healthiest decision, yet why does peace feel so terrifyingly unfamiliar? Candice digs deep into her own 8-year journey of no-contact, detailing how seeking chaos is actually letting your abuser 'get you twice,' and challenging the societal narrative of 'unconditional maternal love.'
The 'Lucky Bag' of Life: Rebuilding your identity and self-worth block by block when you were only given the gift of life—nothing more, nothing less.
Bode’s Take on Universal Approval: Choosing to make moves that let you sleep soundly at night, accepting that not everyone is built to understand or support your path.

No experts, no perfection. Just real conversations about life as we're actually living it.

📚 READ & CONNECT ON SUBSTACK
Join the inner circle on Substack for deep-dive articles, essays, and community discussions:
Substack Profile: https://candicebrathwaite.substack.com

🔗 LISTEN & SUBSCRIBE ACROSS CHANNELS
Spotify: https://open.spotify.com/show/6ifcRNeOOcHOgovuhk9i2K?si=6c87234b263c4547

Apple Podcasts: https://podcasts.apple.com/gb/podcast/conversations-with-candice/id1882427274

Amazon Music: https://music.amazon.co.uk/podcasts/54f972c1-650d-401a-8418-cf499de44b24/conversations-with-candice

Acast RSS Feed: https://feeds.acast.com/public/shows/conversations-with-candice

📱 FOLLOW CANDICE ON SOCIALS
Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/candicebrathwaite

TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@candicebrathwaite

🎬 PRODUCTION NOTES & CREDITS
Produced by: Undeniable Productions
Executive Produced by: Candice Brathwaite Aboderin and Bode Aboderin

Enjoyed this episode? Subscribe so you never miss a conversation.

Conversations with Candice is hosted by two-time Sunday Times bestselling author and cultural commentator Candice Brathwaite. New episodes every week.

Get in touch: contact@conversationswithcandicepodcast.com

Listen on Acast: https://shows.acast.com/conversations-with-candice

Watch on YouTube: https://youtube.com/@conversationswithcandicepod

Follow Candice:
Instagram: @candicebrathwaite
TikTok: @candicebrathwaite
If you love the show, please leave a review, it really helps others find us. Remain Unrealistic.

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

"I don't want to want things. I need to create space in my head, and not wanting is a way to create space in your head and find peace... If I don't know it exists, it doesn't exist."

Welcome back to Chapter Two, Episode Four of Conversations with Candice! This season is all about love and relationships, but today we are pivoting entirely into our relationship with ourselves, our ambitions, and the toxic, relentless pace of the digital world. Candice is throwing out the cue cards to welcome a true internet pioneer, fashion icon, and accidental founder to the studio: the incredible Freddie Harrel.

For years, Freddie was that girl, the baseline framework for UK fashion blogging, a Pinterest favourite, and one of only 50 Black women globally to raise over $1 million in venture capital to scale her startup hair brand, Rad Swan.

But behind the Vogue headlines and the high-profile retail deals was a high-stakes ecosystem of investor calls, supply chain nightmares, hyperemesis, and an relentless digital pace that her nervous system simply wasn't built to survive.

In this beautifully raw, transparent conversation, Freddie and Candice pull back the curtain on the "Girl Boss" illusion. They dive deep into the reality of Sunday night panic attacks, why your body will always make the final decision when a space no longer serves you, the hidden operational impact of Apple’s iOS 14 privacy updates, and the incredible liberation that comes with hopping off the career train, taking the bus, and choosing mental clarity over public validation.

Inside this episode:

The "ASOS Freddie" & Blogging Era: Looking back at a time when the internet felt smaller and communities felt real.
The Venture Capital Toll: What happens holistically to your identity, mental health, and spirit when you scale a public startup.
Deconditioning from "Productivity": Rewiring your brain to choose being over constant achieving.
Shedding Outfits for Clicks: Candice shares her personal wardrobe shift and why she stopped dressing for the streets' algorithm.
The Failed $1M+ Celebrity Deal: Freddie reveals the untold story of signing a massive US star and how she finally found peace when the deal fell through.

No experts, no perfection. Just real conversations about life as we're actually living it.

📚 READ & CONNECT ON SUBSTACK
Join the inner circle on Substack for deep-dive articles, essays, and community discussions:

Substack Profile: https://candicebrathwaite.substack.com

🔗 LISTEN & SUBSCRIBE ACROSS PLATFORMS
Spotify: https://open.spotify.com/show/6ifcRNeOOcHOgovuhk9i2K?si=6c87234b263c4547

Apple Podcasts: https://podcasts.apple.com/gb/podcast/conversations-with-candice/id1882427274

Amazon Music: https://music.amazon.co.uk/podcasts/54f972c1-650d-401a-8418-cf499de44b24/conversations-with-candice

Acast Feed: https://feeds.acast.com/public/shows/conversations-with-candice

📱 FOLLOW THE GUEST
Freddie Harrel Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/freddieharrel/

📱 FOLLOW CANDICE
Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/candicebrathwaite

TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@candicebrathwaite

🎬 PRODUCTION CREDITS
Produced by: Undeniable Productions
Executive Produced by: Candice Brathwaite Aboderin and Bode Aboderin
Enjoyed this episode? Subscribe so you never miss a conversation.

Conversations with Candice is hosted by two-time Sunday Times bestselling author and cultural commentator Candice Brathwaite. New episodes every week.

Get in touch: contact@conversationswithcandicepodcast.com

Listen on Acast: https://shows.acast.com/conversations-with-candice

Watch on YouTube: https://youtube.com/@conversationswithcandicepod

Follow Candice:
Instagram: @candicebrathwaite
TikTok: @candicebrathwaite
If you love the show, please leave a review, it really helps others find us. Remain Unrealistic.

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.