Dad Starting Over

A lot of men end up believing things like “women cheat more,” “women want sex more than men,” or “most women cheat”.
Those beliefs don’t usually come from careful analysis.
They come from pain.
I break down why these stories feel so convincing — especially for analytical, system-oriented, and neurodivergent men — and why certainty often feels safer than ambiguity after betrayal, dead bedrooms, and relationship failure.
We’ll talk about:
why men gravitate toward black-and-white explanations
how hidden-truth and conspiracy-style thinking sneaks into relationship beliefs
what the data actually says about libido differences
what long-running surveys show about infidelity
why “women just lie on surveys” isn’t the argument people think it is
and why flattening an entire sex into a slogan quietly keeps men stuck
This isn’t about defending women or blaming men.
It’s about understanding how the male brain copes with uncertainty — and why rigid, comforting stories often cost you more than they protect you.

In this episode, I sit down with Melissa Vogel — fitness and mindset coach, podcast host, and a woman who’s been through divorce herself — for one of the most honest conversations I’ve had about modern relationships.
We talk about what really happens to marriages after kids arrive, why men and women slowly disconnect without realizing it, and how good people end up emotionally checked out years before divorce ever happens.
Melissa opens up about her own marriage, why she drifted away emotionally long before it ended, and what she wishes someone had told her when she was younger. We get into attachment styles, masculine and feminine polarity, why accountability is so rare, and why “love” alone doesn’t save a relationship.
We also tackle the uncomfortable topics most people avoid:
Why attraction fades
Why fitness and self-respect matter more than people admit 
Why men and women cheat for very different reasons
Why second marriages fail so often
And why many couples quietly become roommates instead of lovers
This is the kind of conversation every couple should hear — especially before things break beyond repair.
If you’re married, divorced, dating, or starting over as a man, this one will hit home.
Join the HFM Brotherhood!

A lot of men don’t realize they’re codependent.
They just think they’re being “good husbands,” “nice guys,” or “doing the right thing.”
I break down the real, everyday behaviors that point to codependency in men—especially how it shows up in relationships, dead bedrooms, anxious attachment, and emotional burnout.
This isn’t about shaming men.
 It’s about recognizing patterns that quietly destroy attraction, confidence, and self-respect.
If you:
Walk on eggshells in your relationship
Feel responsible for your partner’s emotions
Tie your self-worth to her mood, approval, or sexual interest
Or feel like you’re slowly disappearing inside your own relationship
This video is for you.
I’ll explain why these behaviors develop, why they feel “right” in the moment, and why they usually lead to less intimacy—not more.
If you want deeper conversations like this with other men who actually get it, check out the Brotherhood at https://helpformen.com/join

For an anxious guy, nothing is more confusing than discovering that your avoidant, seemingly asexual wife was having an affair.
No touching.
 No sex.
 Years of rejection.
And yet… she was sleeping with someone else.
I break down a real message from a man in a long-term dead bedroom who discovered his dismissive-avoidant wife had been cheating for years. We dig into anxious vs. avoidant attachment, why this dynamic is so common, and why the affair usually has nothing to do with you lacking masculinity, confidence, or sexual value.
If you’ve ever wondered:
“How could she want sex with him but not me?”
“What does an avoidant partner actually want?”
“Why counseling never seems to work with avoidant spouses?”
“Was I just too needy or anxious?”
…this video will make things click.
We’ll also talk about:
Why “new” always beats “safe”
Why anxious partners are usually the only ones willing to do the work
Why avoidant people struggle in long-term monogamy
And why this pattern tends to repeat itself again and again
If you’re dealing with a dead bedroom, infidelity, or the anxious–avoidant trap, you’re not alone.
👉 Join the Brotherhood: https://helpformen.com/join
Private forums, live Zoom calls, all my books, over 1,400 hours of member-only audio, and real conversations with men who’ve been there.

In today’s episode, I read an email from a husband living one of the most brutal modern realities: his wife says she’s “touched out” and has no energy for intimacy… yet somehow has unlimited emotional energy for another man at the gym.
This is the pattern I see over and over in dead bedrooms:
She didn’t lose desire.
She redirected it.

If you're a man dealing with a sexless marriage, emotional disconnect, or a wife who has checked out but won’t leave — this one’s going to hit hard.
Grab my book The Dead Bedroom Fix:
https://deadbedroomfix.com
Join The Brotherhood here:
 https://helpformen.com/join