Coaching Culture

If the big people aren't okay, the little people don't stand a chance. That is the idea psychologist Dr. Jody Carrington has built her career on, and it flips the entire athlete development conversation on its head.
In part one of this two part conversation, JP sits down with Dr. Jody Carrington, a clinical psychologist and founder of Carrington and Company who has spent decades studying emotional regulation in high pressure environments, from a locked psychiatric unit to elite sports organizations. She unpacks why the coach's own nervous system sets the ceiling for the team's, and why the answer to a dysregulated athlete is never more yelling.
Whether you coach with intensity or with quiet steadiness, this episode will change how you think about the person running the room, not just the players in it.
Chapters
(00:00) Intro - Why Coach Regulation Matters
(02:11) Meet Dr. Jody Carrington
(02:47) Why She Focuses on Coaches
(05:09) The Coach-Centered Approach
(07:54) Do Good Coaches Screw Up Kids
(09:36) The Hand Model of the Brain
(15:33) The Tom Izzo Question
(19:19) Cortisol and Your Nervous System
(23:17) Collect Before You Direct
TOC 3-2-1
3 Quotes | 2 Questions | 1 Resource
Your fast track to the episode's most actionable ideas.
"If the big people aren't okay, the little people don't stand a chance."
- Dr. Jody Carrington
"You don't lose your ability to be great. You don't lose the best golf swing you've ever taken in your life. You lose access to it."
- Dr. Jody Carrington
"We have to collect before we direct."
- Dr. Jody Carrington
2 Questions for Your Team
Q1: Where in your program are you investing in athlete performance but not in your own emotional regulation as a coach?
Q2: Think of the last time you corrected an athlete in the moment. Had you collected enough relationship first for that correction to land?
1 Resource to Go Deeper
Dr. Jody Carrington's Books, Podcast, and Resources
Her ongoing work on emotional regulation, connection, and leadership under pressure goes deeper into everything covered in this episode.
Visit drjodycarrington.com here
Key Takeaways
Coach Regulation Is the Missing Variable in Athlete Development
You Cannot Learn With Your Lid Flipped
Collect Before You Direct
Intensity Isn't the Problem, Timing Is
Your Nervous System Gets Hijacked Before You Even Get Out of Bed
Coaching Is Development Work, Not Just Performance Work
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Better Coaches. Better Leaders. Better Culture.

Is your best leader always your best teammate? JP Nerbun, Betsy Butterick, and Nate Sanderson are not so sure, and the answer says a lot about how you build culture this season.
This episode continues an ongoing conversation around JP's new book, The Culture Captain, with the group digging into Level Two: leading yourself before you ever try to lead anyone else. They unpack why the chapter on effort was the hardest one JP wrote, what separates a Steph Curry from a Caitlin Clark on the leader versus teammate question, and why so many athletes hold back effort out of fear of being labeled a tryhard.
Whether you are coaching the most obsessed competitor on your roster or the kid who just wants to enjoy the sport, this conversation will change how you think about effort, identity, and what it actually takes to lead yourself first.
Chapters
(00:00) Intro
(01:02) Why Level Two Was Hardest to Write
(03:26) Tom Brady & Raising Others 5-10%
(09:13) Standards, Buy-In & Judgment
(13:28) Caitlin Clark & Being Yourself
(17:55) Great Leader vs. Great Teammate
(24:37) One Behavior Every Leader Needs
(28:30) Why Athletes Avoid Competing Hard
(32:44) From Victim to Creator
(40:55) The Hardest Part of Leading Yourself
TOC 3-2-1
3 Quotes | 2 Questions | 1 Resource
Your fast-track to the episode's most actionable ideas.
"Two things can be true. I can uphold the standard and it increases the value or the connection with my teammate."
- Betsy Butterick
"My performance does not determine my worth or value in this world."
- Nate Sanderson
"It's not any single leadership behavior that unlocks leading yourself. It's putting in the work on ourselves, knowing that this is a lifelong journey."
- JP Nerbun
2 Questions for Your Team
Q1: When you rate your own effort this season, are you rating it the way your teammates and coaches would, or the way you wish they would?
Q2: Is there a part of this season where you are telling yourself a victim story? What is one choice you actually have right now?
1 Resource to Go Deeper
The Culture Captain by JP Nerbun
JP's newly launched book breaks leadership into three levels: knowing yourself, leading yourself, and leading others. This episode digs into Level Two, covering responsibility, effort, authenticity, compete, mental fitness, and selflessness.
Visit tocculture.com here
Key Takeaways
Leading yourself is not a formula. It is a personal journey.
A great leader is not always a great teammate.
Curiosity beats correction when a leader cannot reserve judgment.
The fear of being a tryhard is quietly shutting down effort.
Moving an athlete from victim to creator starts with naming a choice.
The hardest part of leading yourself is the moment you let yourself down.
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Better Coaches. Better Leaders. Better Culture.

Making athletes work harder is one thing. Making athletes better is something else entirely — and Rustin Dodd draws that line clearly in this episode.
In part two of JP Nerbun's conversation with Rustin Dodd and Elise Devlin of The Athletic's Peak section, the discussion moves from habits and rituals into the heart of transformational coaching. Elise covers Dan Quinn's player PowerPoint presentations, Lisa Bluder's deep-dive into understanding Caitlin Clark, and what Tara Vanderveer's lasting player relationships reveal about the longevity of great coaching. Rustin breaks down the energy cost of being a coach and why the coaches who last build support systems around themselves. The episode closes with John Harbaugh's accountability frame and why "shoot the ball" might be the most important thing a coach can say.
For coaches who want to understand what separates the ones athletes call ten years later from the ones they just remember.
Chapters
(00:00) Intro: Studying Great Coaches(01:30) The Best Part of the Job(03:09) The Common Trait of Great Leaders(06:54) Getting to Know Your Players(10:10) Tough Conversations and Real Relationships(12:00) Who Would You Want to Be Coached By(13:57) Tom Izzo and the Power of Intensity(15:07) Who Would You Want as a Teammate(18:40) Jared McCain and the Inner Game of Tennis(19:47) The Origin of Executive Coaching(21:15) Sports and Business Culture Feed Each Other(22:25) What Coaches Do to Be at Their Best(24:09) Ownership as a Leadership Skill(24:56) Who Would You Invite to Dinner(29:36) Final Advice: Curiosity and Optimism(31:23) Shoot the Ball: Trust as a Coaching MetaphorTOC 3-2-1
3 Quotes | 2 Questions | 1 Resource
Your fast-track to the episode's most actionable ideas.
"Being a coach that can get your players to work harder is easier than being a coach that can make them better. At the most basic level, it's giving people confidence."
— Rustin Dodd
"When you are losing a lot of energy and you have not a lot left, take what you do have left and give it to other people and it'll come back to you multiplied."
— Elise Devlin
"There's no better feeling than when your coach yells shoot it. I think about that as a metaphor — it's some level of trust, putting confidence in the person."
— Rustin Dodd
2 Questions for Your Team
Q1: Think about a player you know well enough to coach hard — and one you don't. What would it take to close that gap this week?
Q2: When did you last own a bad day in front of your team? What did that cost you — and what did it build?
1 Resource to Go Deeper
The Inner Game of Tennis by W. Timothy Gallwey
The origin text for the entire executive coaching industry — referenced in this episode as foundational reading for understanding the inner life of an athlete. Jared McCain reads it. Steve Kerr coaches from it.
Available on Amazon
Key Takeaways
Making Athletes Better Is Different from Making Them Work Harder
The Deeper You Know Your Athletes, the Better You Can Lead Them
Tough Conversations Only Land When the Relationship Is Real
Coaches Need a Support System Too
Ownership Is a Leadership Skill
Curiosity Is a Long-Term Coaching Practice
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tocculture.com
Join TOC Coach — community, courses, and live coaching:
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Better Coaches. Better Leaders. Better Culture.

Most coaches spend their careers shaping athletes. Rustin Dodd and Elise Devlin spend theirs learning from them — and what they've found might change how you coach.
Rustin and Elise write NY Times feature, The Peak for The Athletic, a section devoted to the mental side of elite sports. In this episode with JP Nerbun, they unpack what a year of "I Tried" journalism has taught them: Kobe's silence practice, Michael Phelps' freestyle journaling, Buzz Williams writing four to five letters a day, an Olympian who approaches every failure with childlike curiosity, and a reminder from David Ortiz about what it actually means to bounce back. The thread running through all of it: curiosity.
For coaches who want to understand what's going on inside their athletes — and maybe inside themselves — before it becomes a problem.
Chapters
(00:00) Intro: JP on The Athletic's Peak(02:39) Ted Lasso's Real-Life Inspiration(07:41) Elise: D1 Swimmer to Peak Journalist(11:48) The Performance Info Gap(13:01) How The Peak Section Was Born(16:18) What The Peak Is Not(19:20) I Tried: Living Athletes' Habits(21:31) Silence, Emotions, and Journaling(23:13) How Athletes Find Their Rituals(25:41) Curiosity: The #1 Athlete Trait(26:41) Buzz Williams Letter-Writing(28:38) Gratitude and Failure With Curiosity(30:53) The Power of Saying Yes(35:59) The Pat Riley Conditioning Test(36:31) 17s Story: Hardship as Confidence
TOC 3-2-1
3 Quotes | 2 Questions | 1 Resource
Your fast-track to the episode's most actionable ideas.
"That feeling of somebody saying yes to me is so powerful. And I oftentimes try to think about: how do I do a version of that? How do I say yes to people?"
— Rustin Dodd
"I thought about it and I was like — I guess I don't have silence."
— Elise Devlin
"I view all my failures with childlike curiosity."
— Olympian Olivia Smoliga, cited by Elise Devlin
2 Questions for Your Team
Q1: When something goes wrong in practice or a game, is your first instinct to fix it, blame it, or get curious about it? Which of those responses is actually coachable?
Q2: What is one mental tool or daily habit your athletes don't know about — and when did you last share it with them?
1 Resource to Go Deeper
The Peak by Rustin Dodd and Elise Devlin | The Athletic
The Athletic's section devoted to the mental side of elite sports. The "I Tried" series is essential reading for any coach curious about what elite performance looks like from the inside.
Visit The Athletic here
Key Takeaways
The Best Athletes Are Obsessively Curious
Reflection Teaches More Than Experience Alone
Silence Is a Performance Tool
Treat Failure Like a Scientist
Gratitude Does Real Work
Say Yes More Than You Think You Should
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tocculture.com
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Better Coaches. Better Leaders. Better Culture.

JP Nerbun's 10-year-old daughter said something on the walk to the bus that stopped him cold: "She's climbing the mountain of achievement without any purpose." That one line is the heart of this entire conversation.
This special episode drops on the launch day of JP's new book The Culture Captain — a field guide for athletes learning to lead from the inside out. JP sits down with longtime friend John O'Sullivan, founder of the Changing the Game Project and co-author of Captain: The Athlete's Guide to Being an Exceptional Team Leader (with Jerry Lynch). Two books. Same subject. Written simultaneously, on opposite sides of the Atlantic. They go deep on self-awareness as the foundation of leadership, why modeling behaviors beats locker room speeches, how to have a difficult conversation before you feel ready, and what it means to lead from the bench when things aren't going your way.
Whether you coach athletes, lead a team, or are still figuring out who you are as a leader — this one is for you.
Chapters(00:00) Intro — JP's Daughter & Book Launch(02:30) Why John Wrote Captain(05:52) Why JP Wrote The Culture Captain(15:54) The Fable Format — Why JP Chose Lily(19:00) The Four Levels of Leadership(25:13) Surprises from Writing(31:15) The Hardest Lesson to Put Into Words(34:05) Hard Conversations as Life Skills(39:15) From Sports to the Workplace(43:48) What Had to Be Left Out(47:08) Approaching a Difficult Teammate(53:05) Coaching the Reluctant Leader(59:43) Tom Brady on Playing Where You Love People(1:01:26) Success vs. Fulfillment(1:04:00) Lead From the Bench(1:09:02) How Will You Know the Book Succeeded?(1:12:43) Why This Book Mattered MostTOC 3-2-13 Quotes | 2 Questions | 1 Resource
Your fast-track to the episode's most actionable ideas.
"She's climbing the mountain of achievement without any purpose."
— JP Nerbun's daughter, age 10
"Success is the goal, but it's not the purpose. Fulfillment should be the purpose. This is what coaches need to provide."
— John O'Sullivan
"You pick up the cones and balls, you serve others. You do that and people go, man, if that's the captain doing it, I better do it too."
— John O'Sullivan
2 Questions for Your TeamQ1: Think of an athlete who is putting in the work but seems to have lost their joy. What would it look like to help them reconnect with purpose rather than achievement?
Q2: What is it currently costing your team — in trust, momentum, or culture — to avoid a hard conversation that needs to happen?
1 Resource to Go DeeperThe Culture Captain by JP Nerbun
A field guide for athletes learning to lead with purpose, values, and selflessness — told through a fable and backed by real stories from Tim Duncan, Tom Brady, Abby Wambach, and more.
Get The Culture Captain at culturecaptain.net
Captain: The Athlete's Guide to Being an Exceptional Team Leader by John O'Sullivan & Jerry Lynch
Qualities, responsibilities, and challenges for every team captain — grounded in research and real stories from high school to the pros.
Visit changingthegameproject.com
Key TakeawaysKnow Yourself Before You Lead Anyone
Selflessness Is the Hallmark of Great Captains
Modeling Behaviors Beats Locker Room Speeches
Reluctant Leaders Are Still Leaders
Fulfillment, Not Success, Is the Real Purpose
The Difficult Conversation IS the Leadership
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tocculture.com
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Better Coaches. Better Leaders. Better Culture.