Coaching Culture

What does transformational leadership actually look like in practice? Father Mike Schmitz, 15-year director of the Newman Center at UMD, sits down with coaches to share the leadership principles, culture-building strategies, and mentorship frameworks that have transformed thousands of lives on a secular college campus.
Whether you're a coach, team leader, manager, or anyone invested in building high-performance culture, this conversation is packed with actionable wisdom on setting priorities, establishing boundaries, leading with authenticity, and developing the next generation of leaders.

IN THIS EPISODE:
How to identify your one true priority (and stop pretending you have many)The "rock analogy" for protecting your closest relationships during demanding seasons
Why saying NO with conviction is an act of leadership — not selfishness
The 3 pillars Father Mike used to build a transformational culture from scratch
The FACT (and FACE) framework for identifying and developing emerging leaders
Small group leadership: how to structure teams within teams
How to lead authentically in a secular environment without compromising your values
Why Gen Z craves in-person connection more than any generation before them
The concept of "spiritual fatherhood" and what it means for coaches and mentors

⏱️ CHAPTERS:
00:00 — Introduction: Coaching through busy seasons of life
02:45 — The Rock Analogy: Protecting your family during demanding seasons
06:30 — Defining your TRUE priority (it's singular, not plural)
10:15 — How to say NO without guilt — and why conviction sets you free
15:40 — Knowing your limits: the wisdom of boundaries in leadership
19:00 — Building a transformational culture from scratch (the 3 pillars)
25:10 — Seen, Known, and Loved: the culture framework that changed everything
29:30 — Bottom-up leadership: creating a culture where people correct you
33:00 — Small group leadership: the FACT framework for identifying leaders
39:20 — The Jenna story: how one person's faithfulness sparked a movement
44:45 — Leading Gen Z: why in-person connection is the ultimate differentiator
49:10 — How to create psychological safety so people speak freely
53:00 — Spiritual fatherhood: reframing your role as a coach or mentor
58:30 — Leading with faith in a secular environment

🔗 RESOURCES & LINKS:
📖 The Bible in a Year with Father Mike Schmitz: https://www.youtube.com/@UCzUZD3iCxkHmwYkCqYn8fBw
🏛️ UMD Newman Center: https://bulldogcatholic.org/
📚 Stephen Covey's "The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People" (mentioned): https://www.amazon.com/Habits-Highly-Effective-People-Powerful/dp/0743269519
🎓 FOCUS (Fellowship of Catholic University Students): https://focus.org/
🏆 Subscribe for more leadership and coaching conversations: https://www.youtube.com/@UC3vIljCBzwHcPyVIx9kiHvw

transformational leadership, coaching leadership, building team culture, mentorship, leadership development, how to build culture, high performance teams, athlete development, Gen Z leadership, setting boundaries as a leader, how to say no, priority setting, small group leadership, servant leadership, authentic leadership, coach mentorship, spiritual leadership, team building strategies, leadership in sports, culture building, how to develop leaders, Father Mike Schmitz, Newman Center, FOCUS ministry, college coaching

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Every coach will face a culture killer on their team. Whether it's a star player with a toxic attitude, an athlete stirring drama behind the scenes, or a kid whose behavior is slowly poisoning team morale — knowing how to respond is one of the most critical leadership skills a coach can develop.In this episode of the Coaching Culture Podcast, JP Nerbun, Nate Sanderson, and Betsy Butterrick get practical on how to identify culture killers early, avoid common coaching mistakes, and take action — even when you feel handcuffed by administration, politics, or roster constraints.🔑 What you'll learn:How to recognize culture cancer before it metastasizesWhy ignoring toxic behavior is the worst thing you can do (and what to do instead)The difference between behavior that hurts the individual vs. behavior that hurts the whole teamHow progressive consequences and restorative accountability actually workWhy "choose your hard" is the mindset shift every coach needsHow to give athletes an "out" without it feeling like manipulationThe role of captains, assistant coaches, and administrators in managing culture killers🎙️ About the Coaching Culture PodcastWe help coaches grow as leaders and build stronger team cultures — beyond the X's and O's. New episodes every week for coaches at every level and sport.📚 Resources Mentioned in This Episode:The Culture System by JP Nerbun — the final chapter dives deep into culture killers: https://a.co/d/00ccdd4lTOC Coach — online community, courses & coaching platform: https://www.skool.com/toccoach/about🎧 Related Episode: Boomer Roberts at Purdue Northwest on radical accountability https://youtu.be/9dn51b3abe4?si=L_fePaO3VkvxB7ta🎧 Related Episode: Eric Lang at American International College on radical transparency https://youtu.be/QLoEshEfvpI?si=mRvYmiwD2WTs6vcj📌 CHAPTERS0:00 — Introduction: Every Coach Will Face a Culture Killer2:10 — What Is a Culture Killer? (And Why "Culture Cancer" Might Be More Accurate)4:00 — The Constraints Coaches Face: No-Cut Policies, Star Players & Administrative Pressure5:55 — Why Coaches Feel Powerless — And Why That's a Mistake7:47 — What Doesn't Work: The Most Common Coaching Mistakes With Toxic Athletes9:21 — "What We Permit, We Promote" — The Cost of Inaction11:03 — Ignoring Symptoms, Hoping Players Fix It & Addressing the Room Instead of the Individual13:00 — The Hero Complex in Transformational Coaching14:24 — Starting With Awareness: Having the Right Conversations16:57 — Trusting Your Intuition as a Coach (Even Without Cold Hard Facts)19:40 — In-Bounds vs. Out-of-Bounds: Behavior in the Team Space vs. Outside It21:30 — Radical Transparency: Lessons From a Division I Hockey Coach23:56 — When You Can't Remove Them: Giving Athletes an "Out"25:00 — Progressive Consequences in Action: Step-by-Step Accountability26:33 — Real Stories: When Athletes Opt Out — and When They Turn It Around28:00 — Setting Automatic "Trap Doors" for Behavior at the Start of the Season30:00 — "Choose Your Hard": The Toughest Truth in Coaching Culture31:36 — Culture Over Convenience: What You're Really Telling Your Team33:00 — Restorative Consequences and Navigating the Gray34:57 — Using Assistant Coaches, Captains & Parents to Share the Load34:57 — Wrap-Up + Resources: The Culture System & TOC CoachKeywords: coaching leadership, team culture, toxic team members, culture killers, transformational coaching, athlete accountability, team dynamics, coach development, sports leadership, building team culture, progressive discipline, restorative consequences, coaching podcast, locker room culture, leadership skills for coachesVisit us at: https://tocculture.comQuestions? Join the TOC Coach community and ask us directly!
If this episode helped you, please share it with a fellow coach and leave us a review — it means the world to us. 🙏

Taking hard feedback is one of the most underrated leadership skills — and most of us are doing it wrong.
In this episode, JP, Betsy, and Nate get real about the emotional side of criticism: why feedback feels so personal for coaches and leaders, how to regulate before you respond, and the mindset shift that turns brutal feedback into your greatest tool for growth.
Whether you're a coach, athletic director, team leader, or anyone who's ever been stung by a harsh comment — this conversation is for you.

🎙️ In this episode, we cover:
→ Why feedback hits differently when your work is your identity
→ How to regulate your emotional response before reacting
→ The difference between feedback as a verdict vs. feedback as information
→ Practical tools: exit interviews, anonymous polling, and mid-season check-ins
→ When to stand firm — and when to own it and grow→ How small language shifts completely change how feedback lands

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💬 Join the TOC Coach Community → https://www.skool.com/toccoach/about

⏱️ CHAPTERS
0:00 Cold open & welcome
2:36 What makes feedback so hard to take?
3:03 Betsy: when feedback feels personal
4:55 Nate: the paranoia about not knowing what's coming
5:48 JP: proximity, relationship & the 2015 turning point
7:33 Positive feedback experiences — what actually worked
9:08 How your response to feedback shapes future feedback
10:20 Betsy's coaching program breakthrough moment
12:48 What to do when feedback feels like an attack
14:30 Real coaching example: helping a coach put it down
16:41 First steps when you're triggered — regulate first
19:00 Own the hard feedback before it owns you
21:04 The complexity of coaching decisions: playing time & perspective
23:38 Is it true? Learning from feedback regardless of the answer
25:01 Feedback as information, not a verdict
26:37 The language shift that changes everything
28:13 Rewriting harsh feedback so you can actually hear it
30:51 How to ask for better feedback from your team
33:07 Setting expectations early & capturing in-season intelligence
35:45 Normalizing feedback & modeling how to receive it
37:44 The Man in the Arena — and what Teddy got right (and wrong)
40:17 When to stand firm vs. when to fold
43:08 How going through hard feedback builds conviction🔍

KEYWORDS
leadership development | coaching culture | how to take feedback | receiving criticism | coach mindset | athletic leadership | team culture | growth mindset for coaches | sports leadership podcast | feedback in the workplace | leadership skills | handling negative feedback | transformational coaching | emotional intelligence for leaders | coaching podcast

#CoachingCulture #LeadershipDevelopment #CoachMindset #HardFeedback #AthleticLeadership #GrowthMindset #SportsLeadership #TeamCulture #TransformationalCoaching #CoachingPodcast

In Part 2 of our conversation with New York Times bestselling author Daniel Coyle, we go deeper into the mechanics of building high-performance teams, psychological safety vs. brave spaces, and what 13 years inside the Cleveland Guardians organization has taught him about leadership development, team culture, and coaching from the inside out.
Whether you're a coach, athletic director, team leader, or culture builder — this episode will challenge the way you think about rules, growth, and connection.

🔥 WHAT YOU'LL LEARN IN THIS EPISODE:
Why "safe spaces" is the wrong goal — and what to build instead (brave spaces)
How vague team rules create MORE accountability than specific ones
The difference between complicated vs. complex systems — and why it changes everything for leaders
How the Cleveland Guardians flipped their coach development model to drive growth from the inside out
The two types of attention every leader needs to understand: controlling vs. connective
Why powerful questions are the #1 leadership tool (and how to use them)
Daniel's "daily rando" habit for building genuine connection
What "yellow doors" can teach you about leadership presence and openness

⏱️ CHAPTERS
0:00 – Introduction: Why This Conversation Matters
0:41 – The Four H's Exercise: Building Connection Through Questions
3:40 – Designing Constraints That Spark Vulnerability
5:28 – Safe Spaces vs. Brave Spaces: What Psychological Safety Really Means
7:01 – Team Rules, Standards & Norms: Why Vague Is Better
10:30 – Complicated vs. Complex Systems: A Leadership Game-Changer
13:46 – How Great Teams Self-Organize Like a River (Not a Machine)
14:29 – Terry Francona's 4 Rules and Why They Work
16:39 – Navigating a Complex Season Without Losing Your Mind
18:04 – The "You're Going to Have a Great Time" Rule (Agency in Action)
18:47 – Inside the Cleveland Guardians: Building a Culture of Mattering
20:50 – How the Guardians Use Questions to Develop Coaches
23:03 – Flipping Coach Development: From Expert-Driven to Inside-Out
25:59 – Shared Development vs. Solo Development
27:27 – Daniel's Role with the Guardians: Asking Dumb Questions
30:00 – Controlling Attention vs. Connective Attention Explained
32:46 – The "Daily Rando" Habit for Leaders
33:51 – 3 Steps to Sum Up the Book: Notice, Ask, Listen
35:14 – Yellow Doors: How Openness Fuels Flourishing
37:12 – Fred Rogers and the People Who Loved You Into Being
38:34 – Daniel's Little League Coach and the Power of Meaningful Moments
39:39 – Outro: Safe Spaces vs. Brave Spaces Revisited + TOC Coach Community
RESOURCES & LINKS
Daniel Coyle's Book : https://danielcoyle.com
Part 1 of This Conversation (Episode 450): https://youtu.be/ylxPptaE-0E
TOC Coach Community (Free to Join): https://www.skool.com/toccoach/about
JP's Article — "I've Got No Interest in Safe Spaces": https://tocculture.com/post/cause-ive-got-no-interest-in-safe-spaces
📬 Subscribe to the Team Culture Toolbox Newsletter: https://tocculture.com/blog

ABOUT DANIEL COYLE
Daniel Coyle is the New York Times bestselling author of The Culture Code, The Talent Code, and Hardball (the basis for the Keanu Reeves film). He has spent over 13 years as a consultant with the Cleveland Guardians and is one of the world's foremost experts on team culture, leadership development, and high-performance organizations.

🎧 ABOUT THE COACHING CULTURE PODCAST
The Coaching Culture Podcast helps coaches, athletic directors, and leaders build stronger team cultures, develop leadership skills, and become better coaches. Hosted by JP, founder of TOC Culture and author of multiple leadership development programs. New episodes every week. Subscribe so you never miss one.

#LeadershipDevelopment #CoachingCulture #TeamCulture #DanielCoyle #TheCultureCode #HighPerformance #PsychologicalSafety #BraveSpaces #CoachingPodcast #SportsLeadership #TeamBuilding #LeadershipCoaching #AthleteDevelopment #CoachDevelopment #Coaching

What does it take to build a truly flourishing team? NYT bestselling author Daniel Coyle (The Culture Code, The Talent Code) returns to share insights from his powerful new book Flourish — and this conversation will change how you think about leadership, team culture, and what it means to matter.We explore the difference between belonging and mattering, why psychological safety isn't enough, and how the most transformational leaders don't motivate — they architect meaningful moments. From a small Vermont town that produced 11 Olympians, to the New England Patriots' Four H's exercise, to a $90 million deli in Michigan, Coyle unpacks the hidden machinery behind teams that truly thrive.Whether you're a sports coach, executive leader, or team builder, this episode delivers simple, actionable strategies you can use today.🔔 Subscribe so you don't miss Part 2 — where we unpack the difference between safe spaces and brave spaces, and why we're getting psychological safety wrong.📩 Get the show notes + free resources: https://tocculture.com🧠 Join TOC Coach: https://www.skool.com/toccoach/about📚 Daniel Coyle's new book Flourish: https://a.co/d/058n8AqK📚 The Culture Code (Ep 245 & 246): https://youtu.be/Zlero0ksd3g?si=6JvF9k6U387X7YNR🗓️ Leadership Retreat (April 2026): https://tocculture.com🏆 In This Episode You'll Learn:Why mattering is more powerful than belonging — and what most coaches get wrongThe Four H's Exercise used by the New England Patriots to build instant connectionHow the "emptiness epidemic" is quietly killing your team's performanceWhy answers divide teams and questions unite themThe simple leadership habit of creating meaningful moments (without a course or a program)How vulnerability builds trust — not the other way aroundWhat a $90 million deli can teach every coach about contribution and cultureWhy pausing is the most productive thing a high-performance team can doThe difference between flourishing and performance — and why top teams that skip this fall apart⏱️ CHAPTERS00:00 — Intro: Why The Culture Code and Flourish Changed Everything03:24 — Interview Begins: Why Flourish Is More Personal Than Coyle's Other Books04:17 — The "Emptiness Epidemic" — Success Without Fulfillment07:09 — Why This Book Is So Timely: We Only Become Our Best Through Others10:01 — How Flourish Builds on The Culture Code11:47 — Flourishing vs. Thriving: Is There a Difference?12:37 — The Core Question: What Is "Aliveness"?15:35 — Mattering vs. Belonging: The Crucial Distinction17:15 — What Coaches Miss: Creating Belonging Without Mattering19:46 — Steve Kerr, the Warriors & the Video Intern Who Changed a Game20:09 — Mattering Creates Contribution — Not Just Safety22:05 — Creating an Oasis: How to Build a Village, Not a Freeway23:20 — What Teams Actually Crave: Family, Brotherhood, Sisterhood26:50 — The Coach as Architect of Meaningful Moments27:22 — Why Every Coach Should Learn Facilitation (and Executive Coaching)28:55 — Vulnerability Builds Trust — Not the Other Way Around30:41 — Does Your Schedule Facilitate Meaningful Relationships?31:20 — Mattering Moments Can Be Created On the Fly31:42 — Good Leaders Ask Deep Questions They Don't Know the Answer To32:15 — The "Connective Energy Business": What Great Teams Are Really Doing32:57 — Answers Drive Us Apart. Questions Bring Us Together.34:01 — Coming in Part 2: Safe Spaces vs. Brave Spaces & Getting Psychological Safety Right🔑 Keywords / TopicsLeadership development | Team culture | High-performance teams | Daniel Coyle | The Culture Code | Flourish book | Psychological safety | Team building | Executive coaching | Sports coaching | Mattering vs belonging | Meaningful leadership | Team facilitation | Coaching culture | Community building | Employee engagement | Team cohesion | Leadership podcast | Vulnerability in leadership | Sports psychology