FILTHY @ FIVE (FILTHY FELLAS)

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THE CROWD ARE ALWAYS COMPLAINING ABOUT HOW LOONS IS ALWAYS ON HIS OWN AS A LIVERPOOL FAN, AND THE REALLY RUDE ONES ARE ALWAYS SAYING WE NEED ANOTHER REPRESENTATIVE.
WELL, LOONS AIN’T GOING NOWHERE, BUT HERE’S ANOTHER LIVERPOOL FAN, LOUD ON X — IT’S JAMZ.
AND HE’S ONLY HERE BECAUSE LIVERPOOL MANAGED TO WIN THEIR FIRST GAME OF THE SEASON AGAINST NEWLY PROMOTED IPSWICH TOWN.
GAMEWEEK 3 IS WRAPPED, AND SPURS, VILLA AND COVENTRY HAVEN’T SCORED A GOAL. WHAT THE HELL IS GOING ON?!
HAALAND SCORED HIS 300TH SENIOR GOAL. HONESTLY, WHAT WOULD CITY DO WITHOUT HIM… MAKES YOU WONDER, DOESN’T IT?
AND THE “BEST ATTACK IN THE LEAGUE” ATTEMPTED TO DO WHATEVER IT WAS THEY’D DONE IN PREVIOUS GAMEWEEKS, BUT ABSOLUTELY FAILED AS THEY GOT TRAMPLED OVER AT THE EMIRATES.
THE BOYS GIVE US ALL THE REACTION, AS WELL AS A BRIEF SUMMARY OF THE CHAMPIONS LEAGUE BEING BACK AND UNITED PLAYING ON A TUESDAY AGAINST… THE LIVING TIGER SWORD USED BY THE WHITE RANGER IN MIGHTY MORPHIN POWER RANGERS!
ACTIVATE THE TIGERZORD!

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THE SUMMER TRANSFER WINDOW IS SHUT.
ALL THE PREMIER LEAGUE CLUBS HAVE DONE THEIR BUSINESS, AND WE’RE HERE TO TELL YOU, THE CROWD, HOW WE RATE IT.
WELL… NOT ALL OF THEM. WE DON’T HAVE TIME FOR THAT. WE’LL JUST BE DOING THE TRADITIONAL TOP SIX.
WE’LL ALSO BE TALKING ABOUT SALAD AND COLESLAW, MICROWAVES AND BATHROOM WINDOWS.
AND WHERE AIR COMES FROM.
HAPPY FRIDAY. FILTHY BE FREE.

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DO NOT REPEAT EVERYTHING YOU HEAR!
THERE’S BEEN A SALMONELLA OUTBREAK AND IT’S HIT THE CREW… DID LAST WEEK’S CONVERSATION ABOUT “FLAVOURS” HAVE SOMETHING TO DO WITH IT… WHO KNOWS.
THIS WEEK, WE WELCOME FILTHY FAMILY SCORCHER AS HE GIVES US THE LOWDOWN ON SPURS’ TERRIBLE START — AND WHETHER THE THREE-PEAT COULD BE ON!
ARSENAL RESUME THEIR DEFENSIVE RESPONSIBILITIES AS THEY OVERTURN A ROUGH VILLA… WHILE CHELSEA CONTINUE TO SCORE LOTS OF GOALS, BUT ALSO CONTINUE TO CONCEDE LOTS OF GOALS.
AND MAN UTD HAVE TO RELY ON A STRANGE FOOTBALLING LAW TO OVERTURN NEWLY PROMOTED IPSWICH TOWN…
HANDS UP IF YOU AGREE WITH THE RULE?

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GAME WEEK 2 OF THE PREMIER LEAGUE STARTS TONIGHT… AND THERE’S PLENTY TO GET THROUGH!
FIRST OFF, LET’S INTRODUCE OUR GUEST… FILTHY FAMILY JCHARM! ANOTHER GOONER FOR SEASON 12!
WHAT CHOCOLATES AND SWEETS FROM OUR CHILDHOOD SHOULD THEY BRING BACK? AND WHICH CARTOONS AND TV SHOWS NEED TO MAKE A COMEBACK?
IT’S ALSO CARNIVAL WEEKEND, SO WE’LL ATTEMPT TO WORK OUT WHAT’S ALLOWED… AND WHAT DEFINITELY ISN’T!
AND, IN KEEPING WITH THE THEME OF WHAT’S RIGHT AND WHAT’S NOT… WAS IAN, WRIGHT WITH THE BIG REVEAL HE MADE ON SKY SPORTS ABOUT MARTINELLI?!

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WHO WOULD HAVE THOUGHT LOONS KNEW THE WORDS TO S CLUB 7? ANYWAY, THAT’S FOR ANOTHER TIME.
THE PREMIER LEAGUE IS BACK, AND IT CERTAINLY DIDN’T FAIL TO DISAPPOINT.
THIS WEEK, WE WELCOME AFTV FOUNDER AND FILTHY FAMILY MEMBER ROBBIE LYLE TO DISCUSS MAN UTD’S OPENING-DAY MAULING AT THE HANDS OF NEWLY PROMOTED HULL CITY.
HOW BAD DID SPURS LOOK WITH ALL THE MONEY THEY’VE SPENT? AND WHAT DOES THE SILENCE FROM UNAI EMERY MEAN? WELL, IF HE WANTS SILENCE, HE’S GETTING SILENCE FROM US. SO, SORRY VILLA FANS, BUT WE’LL BE TALKING ABOUT OTHER CLUBS THIS WEEK. BLAME THE MANAGER.
AND DID MAN CITY’S LAST-MINUTE WIN JUST PAPER OVER ALL THE CRACKS THAT WERE ON SHOW?
ALL THAT AND MORE ON THIS WEEK’S FILTHY @ FIVE.