Ep. 29 | When You Feel Stretched Thin: Expanding Your Window of Tolerance
SUMMARY - This episode is part 2 of a two-part series on each person's unique window of tolerance. This episode focuses on the parent's window of tolerance, an essential concept for parents of kids with neurobehavioral conditions.TAKEAWAYS:It is essential for parents of complex kids with fragile nervous systems and big behaviors to understand their own window of tolerance.It is a common pattern for parents of kids with neurobehavioral conditions to notice their window of tolerance narrowing over time.When a person is exposed to chronic, unpredictable, and prolonged stress, it impacts their neurobiology, specifically their nervous system.The nervous system becomes more fragile over time, the window of tolerance narrows, and it is easy to be thrown into dysregulationThe best use of a parent's energy is to support their fragile nervous system by using their own regulated presence. This requires a strong and steady nervous system.The path to expanding your window of tolerance is taking steps to build resilience each day.RESOURCES:Episode 28: When the World Feels Too Big: Your Child’s Window of ToleranceEpisode 19: Rethinking What It Means to Be ResilientBlog: Understanding the Window of Tolerance - Pt. 2Book Recommendation: "What Happened to You? Conversations on Trauma, Resilience, and Healing" by Dr. Bruce Perry and Oprah Winfrey=======================If you appreciated this episode, and would like to receive a weekly note from Eileen about the Brain First Parenting journey every Monday, you can subscribe to her free newsletter HERE!You can also check out all the FREE resources Eileen offers for parents, and learn more about all things Brain First at her website: eileendevine.comAnd of course, find and follow Eileen on social media:FacebookInstagramPinterest
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Ep. 28 | When the World Feels Too Big: Your Child’s Window of Tolerance
SUMMARY - In this episode, Eileen explains what it means for a child with a neurobehavioral condition to live with a narrow window of tolerance as a result of their unique neurobiology, specifically their fragile nervous system. She walks listeners through how the brain and nervous system help each of us manage life stressors, and why this is often difficult for individuals with brain-based differences.TAKEAWAYS:The "window of tolerance" is a concept developed by Dr. Dan Siegel, to describe the optimal zone of “arousal” for a person to function in everyday life. Each person's behaviors reflect whether or not they are inside their window of tolerance.Kids and teens living with a neurobehavioral condition means they may struggle with emotional regulation skills, meaning their window of tolerance for life's most minor stressors is challenged.When an individual struggles with these cognitive skills and lives with a fragile nervous system, as a result of their brain-based differences, they require accommodations that support these lagging skills and their nervous system.Cognitive fatigue is another important layer to understanding a child's window of tolerance and why it might be especially narrow.RESOURCES:Brain First Parenting Podcast: Ep. 21 | Why Your Child Melts Down: The Hidden Impact of Cognitive FatigueBlog: Understanding the Window of Tolerance - Part 1=======================If you appreciated this episode, and would like to receive a weekly note from Eileen about the Brain First Parenting journey every Monday, you can subscribe to her free newsletter HERE!You can also check out all the FREE resources Eileen offers for parents, and learn more about all things Brain First at her website: eileendevine.comAnd of course, find and follow Eileen on social media:FacebookInstagramPinterest
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Ep. 27 | Supporting Your Neurodivergent Learner w/ Dr. Emily King
SUMMARY - In this episode, Eileen speaks with Dr. Emily King, a psychologist with extensive experience working in schools and supporting neurodivergent youth about how parents can support their neurodivergent learners.TAKEAWAYS: Neuro-affirming environments are environments that are aligned with each person's nervous system. There are some key ways that adults/teachers can set up environments to support regulation in kids/students and "level the playing field" amongst students.Communication with teachers should happen early and often. Collaboration is most effective when the parent and teacher share what they are seeing behaviorally from the child in each of their unique settings and brainstorm accommodations based on this shared knowledge.Recognizing cognitive fatigue as a major factor in the child's behavior is essential to their success.Any asynchronicity in a child's skills is often misinterpreted as willful behavior instead of differences across skill sets.RESOURCES:Learn with Dr. Emily=======================If you appreciated this episode, and would like to receive a weekly note from Eileen about the Brain First Parenting journey every Monday, you can subscribe to her free newsletter HERE!You can also check out all the FREE resources Eileen offers for parents, and learn more about all things Brain First at her website: eileendevine.comAnd of course, find and follow Eileen on social media:FacebookInstagramPinterest
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Ep. 26 | Narrow the Focus: How Adjusting Priorities Can Reduce Your Child's Overwhelm
SUMMARY - As parents, we all have high priorities as they relate to our kids and these high priorities are directly tied to our concern and care for them, wanting them to do well and develop into independent, responsible adults. This episode helps listeners think about their own priorities they hold, as they relate to their kids, and what needs to be considered when your child lives with a neurobehavioral condition.TAKEAWAYS:All parents have priorities related to their kids and these priorities are tied to the parent's deeply held beliefs and values.Having a high priorities as a parent are a reflection of the concern and care for their child.One's brain (cognitive skills) are required when working to meet the expectations or complete the task that are inherent in those high priorities held by parents.This is why parents of kids with brain-based differences need to routinely evaluate whether or not their high priorities are in alignment with their child's neurobiology (brain and nervous system).RESOURCES:Brain First Parenting Podcast Episode 21- Why Your Child Melts Down: The Hidden Impact of Cognitive Fatigue=======================If you appreciated this episode, and would like to receive a weekly note from Eileen about the Brain First Parenting journey every Monday, you can subscribe to her free newsletter HERE!You can also check out all the FREE resources Eileen offers for parents, and learn more about all things Brain First at her website: eileendevine.comAnd of course, find and follow Eileen on social media:FacebookInstagramPinterest
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Ep. 25 | Parenting with Awareness: 3 Essential Ingredients for Attuned Parenting w/ Wendy Sue Horn
SUMMARY - This episode is with guest Wendy Sue Horn, a master clinician, who has been treating individuals of all ages for over 20 years, including supporting parents. Wendy Sue is also an EMDRIA-approved consultant trainer in EMDR (Eye Movement Desensitization and Reprocessing), a trauma-informed psychotherapy that helps individuals heal from the symptoms and emotional distress of disturbing life experiences. Listen in as Eileen talks with Wendy Sue about what she describes as the three essential ingredients parents need in order to attune to their child.TAKEAWAYS:We don't come into parenthood as blank slates and our history follows us into our own parenting and relationship with our kids. Once we understand how and why this happens, it helps us (parents) make sense of our experience with a non-shaming lens.Attunement is the parent's ability to "tune in" to their child's internal, emotional experience.The parental goal is not to prevent pain for their child because this is not possible, but instead is to provide accompaniment in their pain because this is when it is less lonely, there is less suffering, and the child's resilience can shine through.There are three ingredients required for parents to attune to their child: motivation, awareness, and resources.The parent's ability to recognizing when fear is the motivation behind their behavior is essential because fear, by nature, moves the attention away from their child's experience, leaving them unable to attune to them.A parent's history of attachment and adverse experiences "show up" in the relationship with their child, which can impact the internal resources a parent has access to and may require supports to build the internal resources and resilience.Ways that EMDR therapy (Eye Movement Desensitization and Reprocessing) can support parents who have kids with challenging behavioral symptoms.RESOURCES:Wendy Sue Horn - EMDR Resource Center=======================If you appreciated this episode, and would like to receive a weekly note from Eileen about the Brain First Parenting journey every Monday, you can subscribe to her free newsletter HERE!You can also check out all the FREE resources Eileen offers for parents, and learn more about all things Brain First at her website: eileendevine.comAnd of course, find and follow Eileen on social media:FacebookInstagramPinterest
The Brain First Parenting podcast supports parents who are raising children, teens or young adults with brain-based differences and challenging behavioral symptoms. We are a safe space for parents who have historically felt like there isn't a place for them in the parenting advice world. At Brain First Parenting, we see each child as a unique individual with a unique brain, who deserves accommodations to thrive in a world that is frequently not set up for people with neurobehavioral challenges. We prioritize supporting the parents of these kids and teens so that they can, in turn, feel hope and confidence and joy in their parenting experience.
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