The Family Podcast

In this episode, Tracy unpacks the idea of a time budget and challenges us to take an honest look at how we spend our time and what it reveals about our true priorities. By examining our daily routines, she invites us to align our schedules with what we say matters most—especially our relationship with God.
--
The PursueGOD Family podcast helps you think biblically about marriage and parenting. Join Bryan and Tracy Dwyer on Wednesday mornings for new topics every week or two.
Find resources to talk about these episodes at pursueGOD.org/family.
Help others go "full circle" as a follower of Jesus through our 12-week Pursuit series.
Click here to learn more about how to use these resources at home, with a small group, or in a one-on-one discipleship relationship.
Got questions or want to leave a note? Email us at [email protected].
Donate Now
--
What Your Time Says About What You Truly Care About
Overview
We all have the same 24 hours in a day. How we spend those hours tells a powerful story—one that reveals our true priorities, passions, and commitments. It’s easy to say we value certain things—faith, family, health—but when we step back and take an honest look at how we actually spend our time, the truth becomes clear. Are we really living according to the values we claim to hold dear?
Time Is the Ultimate Indicator of Priority
Think about it: if someone tracked your daily routine for a week, what would they discover? Maybe they’d find that your evenings are filled with sports practices, Netflix binges, or endless scrolling on your phone. Church attendance or involvement might fall down the list with sports tourneys for the kids, camping on the weekends or other vacations. Maybe work consumes your days and fatigue takes your nights. None of these are inherently bad—but when they take up the bulk of our time, we have to ask: What’s being left out?
From Habits of the Household — Justin Whitmel Earley
“Moments aggregate, and they become memories and tradition. Our routines become who we are, become the story and culture of our families.
“Think of it like this: when it comes to spiritual formation, our households are not simply products of what we teach and say. They are much more products of what we practice and do.” These habits of the household are giving our children windows into what we mean when we talk about faith.
“The liturgical lens allows us to see all of our normal moments for what they really are: moments of worship to someone or something.”
The Time Budget Exercise
One of the most eye-opening exercises you can do is create a "time budget". Just like a financial budget shows you where your money goes, a time budget breaks down how you spend the 168 hours in your week. Include everything: sleep, work, meals, commutes, entertainment, family time, exercise, screen time—and yes, time with God.
Take time to do a time breakdown of a month. Think of all that you do in a day and in a week.
What Does Your Time Budget Reveal?
Once you've created your time budget, take a step back and look at it. Ask yourself:
What gets the most hours?
What gets squeezed in?
What gets neglected entirely?
And most importantly: Where does God fit in your...

In this episode, Tracy and her son AJ (almost 23) share a field guide for parenting in the digital age. Drawing from AJ’s experience growing up with smartphones and social media, the conversation isn’t meant to scare parents—but to wake them up and help them guide their kids with biblical wisdom.
--
The PursueGOD Family podcast helps you think biblically about marriage and parenting. Join Bryan and Tracy Dwyer on Wednesday mornings for new topics every week or two.
Find resources to talk about these episodes at pursueGOD.org/family.
Help others go "full circle" as a follower of Jesus through our 12-week Pursuit series.
Click here to learn more about how to use these resources at home, with a small group, or in a one-on-one discipleship relationship.
Got questions or want to leave a note? Email us at [email protected].
Donate Now
--
Field Guide for Parents: The Digital World and Your Kids
If you’re a parent today, you’re raising kids in a world you didn’t grow up in. Smartphones. Social media. Gaming communities. Private messaging. Endless scrolling. And the truth is, most of us are trying to parent through technology we don’t fully understand—while our kids often understand it better than we do.
In this episode, Tracy teams up with her son AJ (almost 23) to offer a “field guide” for navigating the digital world with your kids. AJ grew up in the smartphone/social media era and shares what he’s learned—both from experience and from research. They call it a cautionary tale, not because parents should panic, but because parents should wake up.
Here’s the big idea: a smartphone isn’t just a phone. It’s a powerful tool with access to an entire universe—and a lot of that universe is unfiltered, unsafe, and deeply shaping.
The Pressure Is Real—But So Is the Danger
Parents feel the pressure early. Today, many kids are getting smartphones in elementary school. And when “everyone has one,” kids start to feel like they’ll be left out socially if they don’t.
AJ shares that this pressure isn’t just about having a device—it’s about access to the communication apps everyone uses. If your kid isn’t on the group chat or the app the team uses, they can feel isolated.
But here’s the problem: social pressure is not a good reason to hand your child a tool they aren’t ready to handle.
Start With the Right Question: Is My Kid Ready for the Responsibility?
A better question than “When should my kid get a phone?” is: Is my child ready for this responsibility?
There are phone options that allow for basic communication without opening the floodgates of social media, porn, and endless content. Parents can start with a “dumb phone” and treat it like training wheels.
AJ compares it to driving a car: you don’t hand your kid the keys and hope for the best. You teach them. You supervise. You build habits. You set boundaries. You require trust and responsibility over time.
Boundaries Aren’t About Control—They’re About Protection
If you decide to give your child a phone, boundaries matter.
Some practical boundaries include:
Screen time limits (and learning delayed gratification)
No phone in the bedroom at night
Charging phones in a public place
No phone use until...

In this episode, Tracy walks couples through a practical, grace-filled way to handle conflict by using a weekly “State of the Union” conversation to replace reactive arguments with intentional connection, empathy, and growth.
--
The PursueGOD Family podcast helps you think biblically about marriage and parenting. Join Bryan and Tracy Dwyer on Wednesday mornings for new topics every week or two.
Find resources to talk about these episodes at pursueGOD.org/family.
Help others go "full circle" as a follower of Jesus through our 12-week Pursuit series.
Click here to learn more about how to use these resources at home, with a small group, or in a one-on-one discipleship relationship.
Got questions or want to leave a note? Email us at [email protected].
Donate Now
--
Conflict Is Inevitable — How You Handle It Matters
Every couple has disagreements. The goal isn’t to avoid them but to handle them wisely. A great way to do that is to schedule time each week to talk about just one area of conflict. Don’t wait for an argument to erupt — plan ahead and talk calmly.
Proverbs 12:18
There is one whose rash words are like sword thrusts, but the tongue of the wise brings healing.
Proverbs 18:2
A fool takes no pleasure in understanding, but only in expressing his opinion.
Psalm 19:14
Let the words of my mouth and the meditation of my heart be acceptable in your sight, O Lord, my rock and my redeemer.
The “State of the Union” Meeting
Relationship expert Dr. John Gottman calls this a “State of the Union” meeting. It’s a weekly check-in where couples intentionally connect, celebrate what’s going well, and address one ongoing issue before it grows. Gottman’s research shows that couples who make this a regular habit have much stronger emotional bonds and far fewer destructive arguments.
Start with Positivity
Start by locking off one hour in your week. Before you talk about the tough stuff, begin by sharing five compliments about your spouse. This step softens the atmosphere and reminds you both that you’re allies, not enemies.
Focus on One Issue
Then, pick one issue to discuss. Decide who will start as the speaker and who will be the listener. After the first person shares, switch roles. The goal isn’t to “win” — it’s to understand and connect.
How to Stay Emotionally Connected: ATTUNE
To keep the conversation healthy, remember the word ATTUNE:
A – Be Aware: Notice your emotions, tone, and body language — and your spouse’s.
T – Be Tolerant: Respect your spouse’s viewpoint, even if you disagree.
T – Turn Toward Each Other: Stay engaged instead of withdrawing or attacking.
U – Understand: Seek to truly understand before offering solutions.
N – Non-defensive Listening: Listen without correcting, interrupting, or defending yourself.
E – Empathy: Try to feel what your spouse feels and validate their experience.
When Conflict Becomes an Opportunity
When couples consistently ATTUNE during their weekly “State of the Union” time, they build trust, emotional safety, and intimacy. Conflict stops being a threat and becomes an opportunity to grow closer together.

In this episode, Tracy confronts the reality that culture is already discipling our teens about identity and sexuality and challenges parents and mentors to step in with honest, ongoing conversations rooted in biblical truth and grace.
--
The PursueGOD Family podcast helps you think biblically about marriage and parenting. Join Bryan and Tracy Dwyer on Wednesday mornings for new topics every week or two.
Find resources to talk about these episodes at pursueGOD.org/family.
Help others go "full circle" as a follower of Jesus through our 12-week Pursuit series.
Click here to learn more about how to use these resources at home, with a small group, or in a one-on-one discipleship relationship.
Got questions or want to leave a note? Email us at [email protected].
Donate Now
--
Talking with Teens About Sexuality: Discipling Kids in a Confusing World
Teens today are growing up in a world flooded with messages about identity, intimacy, and sexuality. From social media feeds and streaming shows to school hallways and group chats, culture is constantly catechizing them—often long before parents or mentors realize it. That leaves adults with a choice: avoid the conversation out of fear or discomfort, or step into it with honesty, compassion, and biblical truth.
In Talking with Teens about Sexuality, counselor Beth Robinson and Latayne C. Scott offer a much-needed roadmap for navigating one of the most intimidating areas of discipleship. Rather than promoting fear-based rules or one-time lectures, the authors equip parents and mentors to engage in thoughtful, ongoing conversations about sex, identity, relationships, boundaries, pornography, dating, gender, and online influences.
A key insight of the book is this: teens aren’t just battling hormones—they’re battling an entire culture that is shaping their beliefs every single day. Algorithms are discipling them. Influencers are normalizing behaviors. Entertainment is redefining identity and intimacy. If Christian adults remain silent or reactive, they shouldn’t be surprised when culture becomes the loudest voice in a teen’s life.
Robinson and Scott insist that intentionality is essential. Parents don’t need to have all the answers, but they do need to be present, informed, and emotionally available. Teens are far more likely to listen when they feel understood rather than lectured. That’s why the book repeatedly emphasizes listening before teaching, empathy before correction, and relationship before instruction.
Another strength of the book is how it reframes God’s design for sexuality. Instead of presenting biblical boundaries as arbitrary rules meant to limit freedom, Robinson and Scott show how Scripture presents them as gifts meant to protect dignity, foster trust, and lead to wholeness. Teens are desperate for a vision of sexuality that offers hope rather than shame—and the Bible provides exactly that.
The authors are also realistic. They acknowledge that parents cannot control everything their teens encounter. Pornography, sexualized content, and identity-driven messaging are nearly unavoidable in today’s digital world. But while parents can’t control the culture, they can guide their teens through it. They can create homes where hard questions are welcomed, mistakes are met with grace, and truth is spoken clearly and lovingly.
Ultimately, Talking with Teens about Sexuality is not just a parenting manual—it’s a discipleship guide. It reminds us that shaping a teen’s view of sexuality is inseparable from shaping...

In this episode, Tracy talks about expectations in marriage—why they matter, where they come from, and how to navigate them in a way that strengthens your relationship.
--
The PursueGOD Family podcast helps you think biblically about marriage and parenting. Join Bryan and Tracy Dwyer on Wednesday mornings for new topics every week or two.
Find resources to talk about these episodes at pursueGOD.org/family.
Help others go "full circle" as a follower of Jesus through our 12-week Pursuit series.
Click here to learn more about how to use these resources at home, with a small group, or in a one-on-one discipleship relationship.
Got questions or want to leave a note? Email us at [email protected].
Donate Now
--
Topic Summary
Every couple comes into marriage with expectations. Some are spoken, but many are unspoken—and that’s where conflict often begins. Our expectations are shaped by childhood, culture, and our inner dialogue. If we’re not intentional, these expectations can weigh down our relationship instead of building it up.
Think back to your family of origin. What roles did your parents play—or fail to play? How might those experiences shape your current expectations of your spouse? In the book, Marriage Forecasting by Tim Muehlhoff says, when frustrations come, ask yourself: “Who is in the room with me?” In other words, what past examples are influencing how I see my marriage today.
Ground Rules for Sharing Expectations
Practice gentle honesty.
Avoid judgment. Your spouse isn’t a mindreader
Be curious listeners, not defensive.

Scripture Insight
The Bible gives us a better way. In 1 Corinthians 13:4-7, Paul describes love as patient, kind, and not easily irritated. Love doesn’t assume or demand—it chooses to give. That means healthy marriages require us to talk about expectations instead of hoping our spouse will just figure them out.
We also need grace. None of us are perfect spouses. God models patience and forgiveness toward us (Colossians 3:12), and He calls us to extend the same grace to each other.
Takeaway
Marriage is a lifelong journey of discovery. As you share expectations and show grace, you’ll keep learning about each other and eventually know one another well enough to anticipate needs and support each other. Muehlhoff refers to this process as growing into soulmates, so enjoy the journey!