Mary's Cup of Tea: the Self Love Podcast for Women

If you enjoy thoughtful recommendations that make you think, feel, and romanticize autumn, this one’s for you!
In this fall favorites episode, I’m sharing what I’ve been reading, watching, and reaching for lately, from books that have changed how I think about friendship to the TV shows I’m obsessed with. Plus, a few self-care staples that are making fall feel warm and cozy.
I also go off on tangents about female friendships, the beauty of connecting with strangers, fictional female characters, and why spending time together in person matters more than ever. I’m also sharing my feminist thoughts on East of Eden, my love for Ted Lasso, yummy cycle-syncing teas, my favorite lip liner, and the tea towels that are bringing a little extra charm to my kitchen.
Mentioned In This Episode...
How To Make Adult Friendships Easier with Kat Vellos on Mary’s Cup of Tea
Bestie Break-Ups and Why Female Friendships Feel So Fragile with Danielle Bayard Jackson on Mary’s Cup of Tea
Fighting For Our Friendships: The Science and Art of Conflict and Connection in Women's Relationships by Danielle Bayard Jackson
Talking to Strangers: What We Should Know about the People We Don't Know by Malcolm Gladwell
Encounterism: The Neglected Joys of Being In Person by Andy Field
East of Eden by John Steinbeck
East of Eden limited series on Netflix
Ted Lasso on Apple TV+
Cycle syncing teas by Tea Lady Brooklyn
Espresso-colored lip liner by NYX Cosmetics
The earplugs I sleep with every night
Cotton & jute blend tea towels from Target
The thermos I use every day
Deepen your self love journey with Mary’s books:
The Gift of Self-Love, an interactive workbook to help you build confidence, recognize your worth, and learn to finally love yourself.
100 Days of Self-Love, a guided journal with 100 prompts for calming self-criticism and learning to love yourself.
Follow Mary's self love journey on IG: @maryscupofteaa and @maryspodcast
And if you’re enjoying Mary’s Cup of Tea, share it with the women in your life! Your support helps spread the gift of self-love!

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Why is it so hard to receive love, even when we desperately want it? In this episode, psychologist and bestselling author Dr. Marisa G. Franco and I unpack the hidden side of self-worth: how our early relationships shape the way we see ourselves, why love can sometimes feel threatening, and why shame may be a bigger problem than insecurity itself.
You will learn…
Why we sometimes pull away from people who love us
How your attachment style can shape your self-worth and the way you experience relationships
Why being “secure” shouldn’t mean becoming perfectly healed, unbothered, or free of insecurity
How you can work with memories to soften the way painful experiences affect your self-worth
The science behind how therapy modalities like EMDR, EFT, IFS, and inner child work can heal childhood trauma
Why emotional honesty and self-compassion may be more powerful than trying to suppress the parts of ourselves we don’t like

Remember: Self-worth isn’t about becoming someone who never feels insecure. It’s about learning to treat your internal world as if it matters, including the parts of yourself you’re still learning to love.
Dr. Marisa G. Franco is a psychologist and bestselling author, and leading expert on relationships, self-worth, and belonging. She works as a professor at The University of Maryland and authored the New York Times bestseller Platonic: How The Science of Attachment Can Help You Make—and Keep—Friends and her new book Worth: The New Science of Self-Esteem and Secure Attachment. She speaks on belonging and self-worth at corporations, government agencies, non-profits, and universities.
For tips on friendship, you can follow her on Instagram @drmarisagfranco or go to her website, www.DrMarisaGFranco.com, where you can download a list of practices to improve self-worth.
If you enjoyed this episode, share it with the women in your life! Or on social media! Be sure to tag @maryspodcast and @drmarisagfranco
Mentioned In This Episode...
Worth: The New Science of Self-Esteem and Secure Attachment by Dr. Marisa G. Franco
Platonic: How the Science of Attachment Can Help You Make and Keep Friends by Dr. Marisa G. Franco

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Being multi-passionate can challenge your confidence and sense of self. But what if having a million interests, ideas, and curiosities isn’t something you need to fix? In this episode, Mary explores why embracing your full range might be the key to greater confidence, creativity, and self-trust.
Tune into our self-love podcast to learn…
Why being multipassionate can make you feel behind
What the Renaissance can teach us about curiosity, creativity, and refusing to be defined by just one area of expertise
The woman Mary considers a modern-day example of embracing a wildly diverse range of interests
What multi-passionate people need to thrive
How bringing the different parts of yourself together can help you feel more whole
Mary also shares advice for how to build a career and life as a multi-passionate person, from giving yourself permission to experiment to finding stability that allows you to take creative risks. She explores why transferable skills, connecting seemingly unrelated ideas, and making yourself more visible can unlock opportunities for multi-passionate people.
Remember: You don’t have to choose one version of yourself in order to have confidence in who you are. Your curiosity, creativity, and seemingly unrelated interests might be the very things that make you uniquely you. Hopefully this episode will boost your confidence around being multi-passionate.
Mentioned In This Episode...
The Marginalian by Maria Popova: themarginalian.org
No Bad Parts by Dr. Richard Schwartz
Deepen your self love journey with Mary’s books:
The Gift of Self-Love, an interactive workbook to help you build confidence, recognize your worth, and learn to finally love yourself.
100 Days of Self-Love, a guided journal with 100 prompts for calming self-criticism and learning to love yourself.
Follow Mary's self love journey on IG: @maryscupofteaa and @maryspodcast
And if you’re enjoying Mary’s Cup of Tea, share it with the women in your life! Your support helps spread the gift of self-love!

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We all know what it feels like to be hard on ourselves, question whether we're good enough, or let someone else's opinion become our own inner voice. All of this comes down to self-trust.
In this deeply personal conversation, three-time Grammy Award-winning violinist Hilary Hahn (!!!) and I talk about self-worth, perfectionism, creativity, long-term dedication to your craft, and the lifelong process of learning to trust yourself. Hilary shares what decades of performing have taught her about self-trust, quieting her inner critic, finding her own style, and staying connected to the parts of herself that exist beyond achievement.
You will learn…
How perfectionism can disconnect you from your creativity, and what Hilary has learned about letting go of the need to get everything exactly “right”
Why self-worth cannot depend on awards, praise, or other people's opinions, and how to recognize the voices you've internalized
What performing has taught Hilary about self-trust, presence, and getting out of your own head
Why your imperfections may actually be part of what makes your work and your presence more authentic and human
How to cultivate creativity by giving yourself time to think, experiment, process, and develop your own ideas
What it means to stay committed to your craft
Remember: Your self-worth does not have to be earned through achievement or perfection. Self-trust grows when you learn to listen to your own voice, recognize what you value about yourself, and give yourself permission to be fully human.
Hilary Hahn is a three-time GRAMMY Award-winning violinist known for her expressive musicality, technical expertise, and curiosity both within and beyond the classical music world. She has commissioned and championed works by more than 40 living composers, while her recordings have earned some of the highest honors in the music world. She also created #100daysofpractice, a social media initiative that has transformed practicing into a community celebration of creativity and artistic development, with more than one million posts shared by performers and students. She currently serves on the string faculty at Juilliard and continues to perform, record, commission new works, and connect with audiences around the world.
If you enjoyed this episode, share it with the women in your life! Or on social media! Be sure to tag @maryspodcast and @violincase.

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There’s a lot more to self-love than feeling good about yourself. Though self-compassion is clearly associated with better mental health, stronger relationships, healthier behaviors, and greater resilience, the interesting part of the research is what happens underneath all of that: how changing the way you relate to yourself can actually change the way you behave, especially when you fail, struggle, or suffer.
So let’s dive into the science of self-love and self-compassion to uncover some surprising ways they can change your motivation, emotional regulation, and relationship with failure.
Tune into our self-love podcast to learn…
Why self-compassion may be more stable than self-esteem, and why constantly evaluating yourself can get in the way of feeling good about yourself
Whether positive affirmations can be too positive, and why believing you’re exceptional might make failure feel even scarier
Why being kinder to yourself can actually make you more motivated to improve after you mess up
How your inner voice can work more like a supportive coach than a drill sergeant
Why self-compassion may help us regulate uncomfortable emotions and stop putting off things we know are good for us
Why something can feel comforting when you say it to yourself but completely insensitive when someone else says it to you, especially during grief
We’ll also get into a surprising question: do you have to think highly of yourself in order to love yourself? The science suggests there may be another way to feel secure in yourself, one that doesn’t require being the prettiest, smartest, most successful, or most impressive person in the room.
Remember: self-love isn’t about convincing yourself that everything is great. Self-love is about building a relationship with yourself that allows you to be imperfect, learn from your mistakes, and keep going LONG ENOUGH TO GET BETTER.
Mentioned In This Episode...
Kristin Neff’s review of the research on self-compassion
Neff & Vonk (2009), self-compassion and self-esteem
Breines & Chen (2012), self-compassion and motivation after failure
Research on inflated praise and self-esteem
Research on self-compassion and bedtime procrastination
Research on cultural differences in self-compassion
Research on grief support and messages after a death
Research on helpful and unhelpful grief support
Heart rate variability and the HeartMath technique
Deepen your self love journey with Mary’s books:
The Gift of Self-Love, an interactive workbook to help you build confidence, recognize your worth, and learn to finally love yourself.
100 Days of Self-Love, a guided journal with 100 prompts for calming self-criticism and learning to love yourself.
Follow Mary's self love journey on IG: @maryscupofteaa and @maryspodcast
And if you’re enjoying Mary’s Cup of Tea, share it with the women in your life! Your support helps spread the gift of self-love!

Hosted by Simplecast, an AdsWizz company. See pcm.adswizz.com for information about our collection and use of personal data for advertising.