Relationship Truth: Unfiltered

• Coaches Takeover Series – People-Pleasing & Insecurity

  Welcome to Relationship Truth: Unfiltered, where we bring truth with love to the tough topics of emotionally destructive relationships. In today’s special Coaches Takeover episode, Leslie Vernick team coaches Diana Bala and Susan King dive into people-pleasing, insecurity, and the transformative path toward freedom in Christ. We’re fresh off our 5-Day Insecurity Coaching Challenge—and in this conversation, we’re going even deeper. In This Episode: A recap of the 5-Day Insecurity Challenge: Self-doubt Shame and guilt Perfectionism The inner critic People-pleasing Highlights from the week: Women developing hope beyond shame and guilt Experiencing Scripture in new, life-giving ways Recognizing the hidden faces of insecurity Key Insight: The Many Masquerades of Insecurity Diana and Susan unpack the ways insecurity often masquerades as something good—but at a cost: ✅ Kindness Saying yes to everything, avoiding conflict Underneath: fear of rejection, desire to be liked Truth: Kindness includes boundaries ✅ Humility Downplaying strengths, deflecting compliments Underneath: fear of being judged, imposter syndrome Truth: Humility is not shrinking ✅ Responsibility Overfunctioning, taking on others’ problems Underneath: need to feel needed Truth: Healthy responsibility knows what is yours and what is not ✅ Peacemaking Avoiding hard conversations, keeping silent Underneath: fear of conflict Truth: Real peacemaking requires courage and truth ✅ Flexibility Always going along, hiding preferences Underneath: belief your needs don’t matter Truth: Flexibility shouldn’t erase you Why Do We People-Please? To avoid conflict, rejection, or feeling like a burden It often begins in childhood: Conditional love or safety Messages like “Be a good girl,” “Don’t upset your father” Approval as currency for worth How Do We Transform? Change your inner narrative: “I must earn love” ➜ “I am already worthy.” Embrace agency, reclaim your God-given identity, and practice compassion for the part of you that learned to survive by pleasing. 🌟 Featured Tool: The Truth & Trade Exercise A simple, powerful way to interrupt people-pleasing patterns: 1️⃣ Pause & Name the Pattern Notice when you’re saying “yes” when you mean “no” Ask: What am I afraid will happen if I don’t please? 2️⃣ Identify the Hidden Belief E.g. “If I disappoint them, they won’t love me.” “Saying no makes me selfish.” 3️⃣ Speak the Truth “My worth is not dependent on someone else’s opinion.” “Boundaries create healthier relationships.” Biblical grounding: “Am I now trying to win the approval of human beings, or of God?” — Galatians 1:10 “Let your yes be yes and your no be no.” — Matthew 5:37 4️⃣ Make the Trade “I trade my fear of disappointing others for honoring my limits and values.” Then take the aligned action. Next Steps If you joined our challenge this week—you didn’t just learn about insecurity. You moved through it. But this is just the beginning. If you’re ready to live out what you’re learning, join us in our Moving Beyond People-Pleasing Flexible Coaching Experience. It’s time to move from: Performing ➜ Presence Guilt ➜ Groundedness Pleasing everyone ➜ Becoming your God-given self 👉 www.leslievernick.com/peoplepleasingcourse Groups start this week—plenty of times to join! Final Words “Thank you for letting us be a voice in your ear and a companion in your heart. You are not alone. You don’t have to keep performing for love that’s already yours.” We’re closing out our Coaches Takeover for the summer but will return in the fall! Until next time—be kind to yourself, stay curious, and keep moving forward. Learn More & Join Coaching: www.leslievernick.com/peoplepleasingcourse Subscribe for Updates: www.leslievernick.com

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• God Didn’t Ask Me to Be Nice: Reclaiming Truth, Boundaries, and Peace

  📌 Episode Summary: In today’s episode of Relationship Truth Unfiltered, host LeAnne Parsons, Professional Certified Coach and trauma-informed practitioner on Leslie Vernick’s coaching team, sits down with Vickie a woman whose life was built on saying yes to everyone—until she learned how to say yes to God first. From taking on adult responsibilities at age six to becoming everyone’s helper as a wife, mom, and ministry leader, our guest was admired for her generosity and "niceness"—but underneath was exhaustion, resentment, and a quiet spiritual disconnect. Through the Moving Beyond People Pleasing program, she discovered the profound difference between being nice and being kind, between serving others and submitting to God's voice. She shares how learning to pause, ask God first, and honor the boundaries He helped her set brought incredible freedom—and how the courage to speak up, receive coaching, and be honest with herself changed everything. This conversation will inspire any woman who has ever felt burned out, invisible, or afraid to say no. 🔑 In This Episode You’ll Hear: How people pleasing became part of her identity from childhood The moment she realized “niceness” was costing her more than she knew Why being honest with God and herself was the most loving thing she could do What it’s like to speak up for the first time in a safe coaching environment How biblical boundaries led to peace, clarity, and confidence in daily life Why “If it’s not a firm yes, it’s a hard no” became a spiritual anchor The beauty of flexible coaching and sacred sisterhood in a Christ-centered program 🧭 Key Quote Highlights: “I thought I was honest. But I was saying yes when my heart was screaming no.” “I assumed I was serving… so how could God not be in it?” “If I didn’t have a firm yes, the answer was a hard no.” “God didn’t ask me to be nice—He asked me to be faithful.” 📖 Anchor Scripture: “Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding; in all your ways acknowledge Him, and He will make your paths straight.” — Proverbs 3:5-6 (NIV) 🙋‍♀️ Are You Ready to Move Beyond People Pleasing? If this story hit home for you, we invite you to join our Moving Beyond People Pleasing summer coaching experience. It’s flexible. Faith-centered. And filled with powerful tools, real-time support, and a community of courageous women walking toward truth, wholeness, and peace. 👉 [Link to Learn More + Sign Up]

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• “I Chose to Be Well”: One Woman’s Journey Through Betrayal, Boundaries, and Becoming Whole Again

  Have you ever felt like you were losing yourself just to keep the peace? That you were constantly saying “yes” when your heart was crying out “no”? If you’ve ever struggled with people pleasing—especially in the wake of betrayal or in the midst of a painful marriage—this episode is for you. In this powerful Coaches Takeover episode, Coach Diana Balla and Coach Susan King are joined by Mara, a courageous woman who vulnerably shares her journey through profound betrayal, emotional trauma, and ultimately, healing and transformation. Mara opens up about how Leslie Vernick & Co.’s “Moving Beyond People Pleasing” flexible group coaching experience helped her reclaim her voice, clarify her identity, and set boundaries that honor her God-given worth. Get ready to be deeply encouraged and inspired. Key Takeaways: 🔹 Trauma Opens the Door to Transformation When Mara discovered her husband's decades-long betrayal, including hidden addiction and abuse, it shattered her world. But in the rubble, God met her. Her raw honesty about her trauma response—and how deeply betrayal by a spouse can impact the body and soul—will resonate with anyone who has felt broken by someone they trusted. 🔹 “I Didn’t Know It Was Abuse” Before the discovery, Mara believed she was simply in a dysfunctional marriage. Through Leslie’s book “How to Act Right When Your Spouse Acts Wrong” and the Conquer program, she began to see the patterns of manipulation, control, and gaslighting that had long been present. Her story illustrates how education and support can awaken truth and offer a path to freedom. 🔹 A Safe, Flexible, and Powerful Coaching Experience The Moving Beyond People Pleasing group gave Mara the structure, support, and accountability she needed to begin showing up for herself. With multiple weekly call options, compassionate coaches, meaningful breakout groups, and a loving community, Mara found a space where she could be seen, heard, and healed—even when she had no words to pray. 🔹 From Silence to Strength: Naming Her Needs and Setting Boundaries From rejecting fake flowers she hated to creating three pages of firm, self-honoring boundaries, Mara learned how to stop abandoning herself and start living out her values. One breakthrough moment? Identifying her core fear—being alone—and learning not to let it dictate her choices. 🔹 Healing is Possible, and You Are Worth It With raw honesty, Mara shares how she moved from suicidal despair to spiritual connection, and how God faithfully met her—even in the silence. Her journey is a powerful reminder that healing doesn’t come from trying harder, but from training—and that transformation is possible when you stop people pleasing and start living from your God-given identity. ✨ Call to Action: Ready to Break Free from People Pleasing? If you’ve been touched by Mara’s story and are ready to start your own healing journey, we invite you to join us for our 6-week flexible group coaching experience, Moving Beyond People Pleasing. Starting July 14th, this empowering program offers live coaching, a supportive sisterhood, and the tools you need to reclaim your voice and your life. 👉 Learn more and register today at: www.leslievernick.com/peoplepleasingcourse 💛 Closing Encouragement: Dear one, you don’t have to keep living in fear, confusion, or exhaustion. You are not alone—and you are not powerless. God sees your pain and wants to meet you there. Healing is hard, but it’s holy work. You are worth the effort. Your story matters. And your life can be rebuilt—beautifully, boldly, and with Christ at the center. We’re here with you every step of the way. Keep showing up. Keep training. And always remember: you are precious, you are loved, and you can be well. 🎧 Listen now and share this episode with someone who needs encouragement today.

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• Unmasking Insecurity: The Hidden Struggle of People Pleasing

  Are you constantly saying “yes” when your heart is screaming “no”? If you’ve ever felt like your worth hinges on making everyone around you happy, this episode will speak directly to your heart. Coaches Susan and Diana pull back the curtain on one of the most sneaky and exhausting insecurities many of us carry—people pleasing. It might look like kindness on the outside, but underneath it’s often driven by fear, insecurity, and a longing to feel safe and loved. In this honest, grace-filled conversation, they explore why people pleasing starts, how it hides in our habits, and what it takes to break free. You’ll walk away with powerful mindset shifts, biblical wisdom, and a simple but life-changing tool to begin honoring your voice without guilt. Key Takeaways from This Episode: 🎭 People Pleasing Is About Survival, Not Kindness Many of us learned early on that approval equals safety. Saying yes, keeping the peace, and over-functioning became our armor. But as adults, that armor becomes a prison. True kindness includes honesty, boundaries, and self-respect. 💔 The Cost of People Pleasing Is Your Voice When you constantly put others first to avoid rejection, you risk losing yourself. The result? Exhaustion, resentment, and invisibility. Susan and Diana break down the emotional toll of people pleasing and why it’s not selfish to want rest, space, or to simply say “no.” 🛑 A Pause Is a Powerful First Step One practical tip? Pause before you say yes. Give yourself permission to check in—am I agreeing from love or fear? That moment of reflection invites the Holy Spirit to guide your response rather than your insecurity. 📖 Boundaries Are Biblical, Not Selfish Even Jesus said no. He walked away from demands, rested, and stayed rooted in the Father’s will—not public opinion. Saying no doesn’t mean you’re unloving. It means you’re growing into the person God designed you to be—whole, grounded, and free. 💡 You Don’t Have to Earn Love—You Already Have It At the core of people pleasing is the lie: I have to earn my worth. But Romans 5:8 tells us that Christ loved us at our worst. You don’t have to perform, prove, or please to be worthy. You already are. Ready to Break Free from People Pleasing? Join our Insecurity Coaching Challenge, starting June 23rd. In just one week, you’ll uncover the roots of insecurity and gain the tools to reclaim your voice, set godly boundaries, and walk in confidence. 👉 Sign up for only $17: www.leslievernick.com/challenge You Are Allowed to Take Up Space You are not mean for saying no. You’re not broken for needing rest. And you’re not selfish for wanting to live honestly. The journey out of people pleasing isn’t about becoming hardened—it’s about becoming whole. You are already loved, already worthy, and already enough. Let today be your first step toward freedom. 💬 Share this episode with a fellow recovering people pleaser—you’re not alone.

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• When Pleasing Others Costs Too Much: TC's Story of Capacity, Courage and Clarity

  🌟 Episode Overview: Welcome back to Relationship Truth Unfiltered. In today’s episode, we go beyond the surface and straight into the heart of what it looks like to move from insecurity to identity, from people pleasing to peace. LeAnne sits down with a courageous woman who has walked through divorce, fear, performance pressure—and found her footing again in Christ. This episode isn’t polished or perfect. It’s powerful, raw, and real. Through this deeply personal and hope-filled conversation, you’ll hear: What life looked like before the Moving Beyond Insecurity Challenge The surprising realization that even “strong” women can fall into people pleasing The “aha” moment when boundaries and God’s truth collided in the best way How Scripture became an anchor, especially Galatians 1:10 (NLT) What has changed since the challenge—and what’s still being practiced with grace You’ll walk away feeling encouraged, grounded, and ready to take your next step toward freedom. 💬  Key Quotes: “Saying yes to others meant I was constantly saying no to myself.” TC “God has a plan and purpose for my life—and I can’t fulfill it if I’m giving the best of me to everyone else.” TC “Healing is not only available—it’s already begun.” LeAnne Parsons 🧭  Takeaways: Insecurity and people pleasing can be subtle—and powerful. But they don't have to define you. Boundaries aren’t selfish; they’re sacred. Especially when anchored in truth. Your story can shift. And God will meet you in the middle of the mess. 📖 Scripture Anchor: Galatians 1:10 (NLT) “Obviously, I’m not trying to win the approval of people, but of God. If pleasing people were my goal, I would not be Christ’s servant.” 🕊️  Three Words to Describe Her Journey: Illuminating. Empowering. Liberating. 🔗  Resources Mentioned: The Moving Beyond Insecurity Challenge – https://leslievernick.com/challenge 🙌  Connect + Share: If this conversation spoke to your heart, we’d love for you to share it with a friend or leave a review. It helps more women find their way to truth, wholeness, and healing. 🧡 You’re not too much. You’re not too late. And you’re never walking alone

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