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Relationship Truth: Unfiltered

Leslie Vernick
Relationship Truth: Unfiltered
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  • “I Chose to Be Well”: One Woman’s Journey Through Betrayal, Boundaries, and Becoming Whole Again
    Have you ever felt like you were losing yourself just to keep the peace? That you were constantly saying “yes” when your heart was crying out “no”? If you’ve ever struggled with people pleasing—especially in the wake of betrayal or in the midst of a painful marriage—this episode is for you. In this powerful Coaches Takeover episode, Coach Diana Balla and Coach Susan King are joined by Mara, a courageous woman who vulnerably shares her journey through profound betrayal, emotional trauma, and ultimately, healing and transformation. Mara opens up about how Leslie Vernick & Co.’s “Moving Beyond People Pleasing” flexible group coaching experience helped her reclaim her voice, clarify her identity, and set boundaries that honor her God-given worth. Get ready to be deeply encouraged and inspired. Key Takeaways: 🔹 Trauma Opens the Door to Transformation When Mara discovered her husband's decades-long betrayal, including hidden addiction and abuse, it shattered her world. But in the rubble, God met her. Her raw honesty about her trauma response—and how deeply betrayal by a spouse can impact the body and soul—will resonate with anyone who has felt broken by someone they trusted. 🔹 “I Didn’t Know It Was Abuse” Before the discovery, Mara believed she was simply in a dysfunctional marriage. Through Leslie’s book “How to Act Right When Your Spouse Acts Wrong” and the Conquer program, she began to see the patterns of manipulation, control, and gaslighting that had long been present. Her story illustrates how education and support can awaken truth and offer a path to freedom. 🔹 A Safe, Flexible, and Powerful Coaching Experience The Moving Beyond People Pleasing group gave Mara the structure, support, and accountability she needed to begin showing up for herself. With multiple weekly call options, compassionate coaches, meaningful breakout groups, and a loving community, Mara found a space where she could be seen, heard, and healed—even when she had no words to pray. 🔹 From Silence to Strength: Naming Her Needs and Setting Boundaries From rejecting fake flowers she hated to creating three pages of firm, self-honoring boundaries, Mara learned how to stop abandoning herself and start living out her values. One breakthrough moment? Identifying her core fear—being alone—and learning not to let it dictate her choices. 🔹 Healing is Possible, and You Are Worth It With raw honesty, Mara shares how she moved from suicidal despair to spiritual connection, and how God faithfully met her—even in the silence. Her journey is a powerful reminder that healing doesn’t come from trying harder, but from training—and that transformation is possible when you stop people pleasing and start living from your God-given identity. ✨ Call to Action: Ready to Break Free from People Pleasing? If you’ve been touched by Mara’s story and are ready to start your own healing journey, we invite you to join us for our 6-week flexible group coaching experience, Moving Beyond People Pleasing. Starting July 14th, this empowering program offers live coaching, a supportive sisterhood, and the tools you need to reclaim your voice and your life. 👉 Learn more and register today at: www.leslievernick.com/peoplepleasingcourse 💛 Closing Encouragement: Dear one, you don’t have to keep living in fear, confusion, or exhaustion. You are not alone—and you are not powerless. God sees your pain and wants to meet you there. Healing is hard, but it’s holy work. You are worth the effort. Your story matters. And your life can be rebuilt—beautifully, boldly, and with Christ at the center. We’re here with you every step of the way. Keep showing up. Keep training. And always remember: you are precious, you are loved, and you can be well. 🎧 Listen now and share this episode with someone who needs encouragement today.
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  • Unmasking Insecurity: The Hidden Struggle of People Pleasing
    Are you constantly saying “yes” when your heart is screaming “no”? If you’ve ever felt like your worth hinges on making everyone around you happy, this episode will speak directly to your heart. Coaches Susan and Diana pull back the curtain on one of the most sneaky and exhausting insecurities many of us carry—people pleasing. It might look like kindness on the outside, but underneath it’s often driven by fear, insecurity, and a longing to feel safe and loved. In this honest, grace-filled conversation, they explore why people pleasing starts, how it hides in our habits, and what it takes to break free. You’ll walk away with powerful mindset shifts, biblical wisdom, and a simple but life-changing tool to begin honoring your voice without guilt. Key Takeaways from This Episode: 🎭 People Pleasing Is About Survival, Not Kindness Many of us learned early on that approval equals safety. Saying yes, keeping the peace, and over-functioning became our armor. But as adults, that armor becomes a prison. True kindness includes honesty, boundaries, and self-respect. 💔 The Cost of People Pleasing Is Your Voice When you constantly put others first to avoid rejection, you risk losing yourself. The result? Exhaustion, resentment, and invisibility. Susan and Diana break down the emotional toll of people pleasing and why it’s not selfish to want rest, space, or to simply say “no.” 🛑 A Pause Is a Powerful First Step One practical tip? Pause before you say yes. Give yourself permission to check in—am I agreeing from love or fear? That moment of reflection invites the Holy Spirit to guide your response rather than your insecurity. 📖 Boundaries Are Biblical, Not Selfish Even Jesus said no. He walked away from demands, rested, and stayed rooted in the Father’s will—not public opinion. Saying no doesn’t mean you’re unloving. It means you’re growing into the person God designed you to be—whole, grounded, and free. 💡 You Don’t Have to Earn Love—You Already Have It At the core of people pleasing is the lie: I have to earn my worth. But Romans 5:8 tells us that Christ loved us at our worst. You don’t have to perform, prove, or please to be worthy. You already are. Ready to Break Free from People Pleasing? Join our Insecurity Coaching Challenge, starting June 23rd. In just one week, you’ll uncover the roots of insecurity and gain the tools to reclaim your voice, set godly boundaries, and walk in confidence. 👉 Sign up for only $17: www.leslievernick.com/challenge You Are Allowed to Take Up Space You are not mean for saying no. You’re not broken for needing rest. And you’re not selfish for wanting to live honestly. The journey out of people pleasing isn’t about becoming hardened—it’s about becoming whole. You are already loved, already worthy, and already enough. Let today be your first step toward freedom. 💬 Share this episode with a fellow recovering people pleaser—you’re not alone.
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  • When Pleasing Others Costs Too Much: TC's Story of Capacity, Courage and Clarity
    🌟 Episode Overview: Welcome back to Relationship Truth Unfiltered. In today’s episode, we go beyond the surface and straight into the heart of what it looks like to move from insecurity to identity, from people pleasing to peace. LeAnne sits down with a courageous woman who has walked through divorce, fear, performance pressure—and found her footing again in Christ. This episode isn’t polished or perfect. It’s powerful, raw, and real. Through this deeply personal and hope-filled conversation, you’ll hear: What life looked like before the Moving Beyond Insecurity Challenge The surprising realization that even “strong” women can fall into people pleasing The “aha” moment when boundaries and God’s truth collided in the best way How Scripture became an anchor, especially Galatians 1:10 (NLT) What has changed since the challenge—and what’s still being practiced with grace You’ll walk away feeling encouraged, grounded, and ready to take your next step toward freedom. 💬  Key Quotes: “Saying yes to others meant I was constantly saying no to myself.” TC “God has a plan and purpose for my life—and I can’t fulfill it if I’m giving the best of me to everyone else.” TC “Healing is not only available—it’s already begun.” LeAnne Parsons 🧭  Takeaways: Insecurity and people pleasing can be subtle—and powerful. But they don't have to define you. Boundaries aren’t selfish; they’re sacred. Especially when anchored in truth. Your story can shift. And God will meet you in the middle of the mess. 📖 Scripture Anchor: Galatians 1:10 (NLT) “Obviously, I’m not trying to win the approval of people, but of God. If pleasing people were my goal, I would not be Christ’s servant.” 🕊️  Three Words to Describe Her Journey: Illuminating. Empowering. Liberating. 🔗  Resources Mentioned: The Moving Beyond Insecurity Challenge – https://leslievernick.com/challenge 🙌  Connect + Share: If this conversation spoke to your heart, we’d love for you to share it with a friend or leave a review. It helps more women find their way to truth, wholeness, and healing. 🧡 You’re not too much. You’re not too late. And you’re never walking alone
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  • Insecurity vs. Identity: Breaking Agreement with the Lie
    In this heart-opening episode, Coach LeAnne Parsons takes us deep into the hidden ways insecurity can shape — and sabotage — our identity in Christ. With wisdom, compassion, and biblical clarity, she gently exposes how fear, shame, and striving disguise themselves as humility or responsibility, keeping women stuck in small stories that God never wrote. This episode is a powerful primer for LV and Cos Moving Beyond Insecurity Challenge Week, and it offers a blend of practical insight, Scripture-rich truth, and spiritual invitation to trade fear for freedom — starting now. Whether you're confident in your calling or still wrestling with worthiness, this episode will remind you: You are already His. And that changes everything. 🔑 What You'll Learn: How insecurity quietly rewrites your story without you realizing it The difference between true humility and spiritualized fear What Scripture says about your unshakable identity in Christ Common lies Christian women believe — and the truth that breaks them Why "heartwork" is the missing piece in your healing journey A behind-the-scenes look at the Moving Beyond Insecurity Challenge Week — and how to join 📖 Scriptures Mentioned: Genesis 3 – The first appearance of shame Isaiah 43:1 – “I have called you by name; you are mine.” Romans 8 – Our adoption and inheritance in Christ 2 Corinthians 12:9 – God’s power in our weakness Ephesians 2:6 – Seated with Christ in heavenly places ❤️ Quote to Remember: “You cannot live out your calling while constantly questioning your worth.” – LeAnne Parsons “Heartwork is the intentional process of inviting God to transform what’s going on beneath the surface — your beliefs, your wounds, your identity, your patterns.”  –LeAnne Parsons “We cannot walk in victory and believe we are failures.” – Beth Moore 🔗 Links & Resources: 💻 Register for the FREE Moving Beyond Insecurity Challenge Week: 👉 leslievernick.com/challenge ✍️ Want a journaling prompt or two from today’s episode? Join our email list for bonus content. 📚 Check out Leslie’s books, coaching info, and Bible-based resources: 👉 leslievernick.com 🙏 Leave a Review: If this episode spoke to you, would you take a moment to leave a review? It helps more women find encouragement and truth in the middle of their own insecurity battles. 🎧 Subscribe & Share: Don’t miss next week’s Challenge Kickoff episode! Subscribe wherever you listen, and share this episode with a friend who needs a reminder that she’s already enough in Christ.
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  • People Pleasing — Why You Do It and How to Stop
    “People pleasing isn’t love. It’s fear dressed up as kindness.” Have you ever gone along to get along? Said yes when you really wanted to say no? Diminished your desires, your boundaries, or even your calling—just to avoid conflict or gain approval? If so, you're not alone. In this heartfelt and eye-opening Coaches Takeover episode, Coaches Diana and Susan unpack one of the most common struggles among women: people pleasing. With honesty, biblical insight, and hard-earned wisdom, they dive into the roots of this behavior, share real stories of personal growth, and offer gentle but practical steps to help you stop abandoning yourself—and start showing up with truth, courage, and strength. Whether you've been stuck in patterns of self-sacrifice, afraid to speak up, or just feeling exhausted from trying to keep everyone happy, this conversation will meet you with grace and give you tools to walk in freedom. People Pleasing Is a Form of Self-Abandonment At its core, people pleasing happens when we silence our own needs, wants, or convictions in favor of someone else’s. Whether out of fear of rejection, a desire to keep the peace, or a longing for approval, this behavior often stems from insecurity and a loss of self. Susan shares how people pleasing is about needing something from others (like validation or acceptance) and sacrificing yourself to get it—often without even realizing it. You Can’t Heal What You Don’t Notice One of the most powerful things you can do is pause and pay attention. Diana and Susan remind us that many women have been conditioned (in families, churches, or culture) to believe that “being nice” means suppressing their true selves. But without self-awareness, people pleasing becomes an automatic pattern that robs us of authenticity and connection. Naming it is the first step to breaking free. Personal Stories Reveal the Cost of People Pleasing Diana vulnerably shares moments in her life where fear of disappointing others led to missed opportunities—including a professional invitation she turned down simply because she didn’t ask for what she needed. Susan reflects on how being trained as a therapist to be a “blank slate” magnified her already strong pattern of disappearing for others. Their stories highlight how people pleasing may seem noble—but often leads to regret and invisibility. Reclaiming Your Voice Takes Practice—and Courage Breaking free from people pleasing means learning to notice your own preferences, to ask for what you need, and to tolerate the discomfort of not pleasing everyone. This isn’t selfish—it’s sacred. As Susan and Diana point out, many women have never developed a strong sense of self, or it’s been erased by years of criticism or control. Rebuilding it is part of healing, and it takes time, support, and practice. Your Purpose Matters—Don’t Let Fear Steal It People pleasing often leads to lost opportunities, diminished confidence, and emotional exhaustion. But God created you with purpose and worth—and you don’t have to keep hiding or hustling to prove yourself. With the right tools and support, you can step into truth, draw healthy boundaries, and become the strong, faithful woman God called you to be.
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About Relationship Truth: Unfiltered

Relationship Truth: Unfiltered is a place for people of faith to find real answers when it comes to destructive relationships. Leslie Vernick is the author of seven books, including the best-selling, ”The Emotionally Destructive Marriage.” She has dedicated her life to cutting through the religious confusion and teaching women to grow in their relationships: with God, with themselves, and with others.
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