Relationship Truth: Unfiltered

Have you ever looked around your life and thought, “I can’t keep living like this, but I don’t know how to change?” You’re not alone—and this episode is proof. Today, we’re pulling back the curtain on real-life transformation as three courageous women—Rhonda, Jill, and Christine—share how the Empowered to Change program became the turning point in their painful, confusing, and lonely journeys. With raw honesty, these women recount where they began: stuck, afraid, unsure of who they were. And where they are now? Confident, courageous, and deeply rooted in Christ. You’ll hear how they found clarity, community, and tools to step into the light—and how you can too. Key Takeaways You’re Not Alone in the Fog Each woman entered Empowered to Change feeling lost and overwhelmed. Christine didn’t even know her favorite color. Rhonda couldn’t say she was a woman—she still saw herself as a little girl trying to manage everyone around her. Jill held her head low, gripped by shame. But God met them in their confusion, and they discovered they didn’t have to walk alone. Identity Reclaimed Through Clarity and Courage Empowered to Change helped these women strip away the lies that kept them small and silent. As they did the internal work of self-awareness, self-reflection, and self-correction, their true God-given identities began to surface. Rhonda said it best: “I was fearfully dependent. Now I am confidently interdependent—me, God, and the other person.” Tools That Equip You for Real Life These women didn’t just gain insight—they learned practical tools that changed the way they engaged with their relationships. Whether it was rehearsing hard conversations in the mirror, using healthy boundaries, or naming their emotions for the first time, they began to walk in freedom. “I didn’t have a ‘no.’ Now I can say ‘no’ and mean it,” Rhonda shared. The Power of Safe Sisterhood A pivotal part of their growth? Community. These women found safety, support, and spiritual sisterhood within their group—and five years later, they’re still walking together. They laugh, pray, and celebrate each other’s wins and struggles. The healing they experienced made room for deep, lasting connection. Healing Is Possible—And Worth the Risk Perhaps the most powerful transformation was internal. Jill no longer suffers from migraines that once plagued her during her emotional turmoil. Christine now lives empowered and on mission. And Rhonda walks in the strength and courage she found in God. Their stories remind us that healing takes brave steps—but the reward is wholeness, freedom, and a deeper relationship with Christ. Personal Invitation If you heard yourself in these women’s stories—if you’re in that place of confusion, fear, or longing to rediscover who you are—Empowered to Change might be your next brave step. This Christ-centered coaching experience helps you: Clarify your identity in Christ Develop tools to navigate destructive patterns Build courage, set boundaries, and find your voice Walk in community with other women who truly get it Learn more and register here: https://www.leslievernick.com/growth  

Have you ever wondered if it’s possible to love again after your heart has been shattered? Maybe you've walked through a painful divorce, betrayal, or even the loss of someone dear—and the thought of opening your heart again feels terrifying, or even wrong. In today’s powerful episode, Leslie sits down with Michelle Hord, author of The Other Side of Yet, a woman who has endured the unimaginable: the murder of her daughter by her abusive ex-husband. But this is not just a story of tragedy—it's a story of grace, growth, and God's unexpected redemption. Michelle returns to share the sacred, surprising journey of rebuilding her life, falling in love again, and finding joy in a new marriage and motherhood after loss. She offers faith-filled wisdom on doing the internal work, discerning true safety, and honoring both grief and growth. If you’re wondering if God can write a new chapter in your story—this episode is for you. Key Takeaways: Healing Comes Before Rebuilding Michelle didn’t go searching for love—she focused on healing. Through grief, therapy, prayer, and service, she slowly began to rebuild from the inside out. She emphasizes that true readiness for a new relationship starts with doing your own work, not rushing into rescue. “You have one Savior—and you won’t meet Him at church or a party. Don’t look for someone to rescue you when God is the One writing your rescue story.” Emotional Safety Is Non-Negotiable After surviving emotional abuse, Michelle shares how she learned to recognize and prioritize safety over charm. In her new relationship, she tested boundaries, voiced concerns early, and paid attention to how her new partner responded to her “no.” “I realized that God doesn't want me to be with someone I fear. Respect, kindness, and feeling cherished are non-negotiables—not luxuries.” Guilt Isn’t a Prerequisite for Grief Michelle vulnerably shares the emotional tension of finding joy again after her daughter’s death—and how she wrestled with feeling “allowed” to experience happiness. She reminds us that grief and joy can coexist, and choosing joy honors those we've lost. “God's purpose for me didn't end with my daughter’s death. Joy doesn’t erase grief—it expands around it.” Redefining Strength and Speaking Up Many Christian women were never taught to know or express their needs. Michelle explains how learning to speak honestly, set boundaries, and stop minimizing her discomfort was key to breaking unhealthy patterns and cultivating real intimacy. “We often teach others how to treat us by what we tolerate. Don’t make yourself smaller for someone else’s comfort.” There Is Life After the Valley Today, Michelle is remarried to a man who cherishes her, and they share a son, Alexander. Her journey proves that even after devastation, God is still writing beautiful new chapters—not in spite of the pain, but through it. “God’s mercies are new every morning. He can bring light out of your darkest place—and it doesn't mean you’re forgetting what came before.” Personal Invitation: Ready for a Breakthrough? If you're resonating with Michelle’s story and wondering how to begin again—or even if you can—then don’t miss Leslie’s upcoming free webinar, Change Your Story, Change Your Life: Moving from Breakdown to Breakthrough. You’ll gain clarity, courage, and biblical tools to stop spinning in circles and start stepping into healing. Register now at: leslievernick.com/stuck Closing Encouragement Friend, if you're listening today and your heart is aching, please hear this: your story is not over. What you’ve endured does not disqualify you from love, joy, or a meaningful life. Whether your grief is public or private, whether your pain feels “big enough” or not—God sees you. And He is not done. You may not have chosen the pain in your past—but you can choose your next step. As Michelle says, “There is always a yet.” And God is in the business of turning that “yet” into your next. Hold on. Healing is possible. With God’s help, you can learn to live, hope, and love again. Listen to the full first episode with Michelle here: https://www.podbean.com/ew/pb-f52fe-16f28e1 Learn more about Gabrielle’s Wings or support Michelle’s nonprofit: gabrielleswings.com  

Over-Functioning During the Holidays: Why Boundaries Matter More Than Ever Do you dread the holidays—not because you don’t love your people—but because you're already feeling stretched thin, emotionally exhausted, and maybe even a little resentful? You’re not alone. This week, Leslie Vernick and Coach Diana unpack what it looks like to stop over-functioning during the holidays by learning how to set boundaries—clearly, kindly, and biblically. From role-playing difficult conversations to exploring the internal guilt and fear many women wrestle with, this episode is packed with faith-filled insight and practical tools to help you protect your peace and prioritize what matters most. If you’ve ever felt selfish for saying “no” or guilty for disappointing others, this conversation will give you the clarity and courage you need to love well—without losing yourself. Key Takeaways 1. Boundaries Are God’s Design, Not Rebellion Boundaries aren’t selfish—they’re sacred. God set boundaries in creation, and He calls us to do the same. Boundaries reflect His nature of order, peace, and love. When we set boundaries, we’re not being harsh—we’re honoring God’s call to steward our time, energy, and hearts. "Above all else, guard your heart, for everything you do flows from it." – Proverbs 4:23 2. Love Without Boundaries Isn’t Love—It’s Control When we can’t say no, our yes becomes meaningless. Love that’s forced or rooted in fear isn’t love at all—it’s obligation. God never forces us into relationship with Him. He invites, never invades. In the same way, healthy love must include freedom and choice. 3. Role-Playing Real-Life Scenarios Builds Confidence Leslie and Diana walk through real examples—like refusing to host Christmas, saying no to dog-sitting, or sticking to a spending limit. Each scenario highlights how to express a firm and loving no without over-explaining, defending, or absorbing guilt. These scripts show how clarity and compassion can coexist. 4. You Are Not Responsible for Other People’s Disappointment Someone else’s sadness, frustration, or manipulation does not mean you’ve done something wrong. Healthy boundaries often expose unhealthy dynamics. When others push back, it reveals their reliance on your compliance—not your care. "Let them have their feelings. It’s not your job to manage their emotions—it’s your job to steward your obedience to God." 5. Practical Tools for Calming the Guilt and Holding the Line You’ll learn how to: Prepare for pushback by getting clear with God ahead of time Use breathwork and body-awareness to stay calm under pressure Let silence do the heavy lifting after you’ve stated your boundary Anchor your identity in Christ, not someone else’s approval Use simple scripts to hold a boundary without getting defensive A Personal Invitation Are the holidays bringing up anxiety instead of joy? If you’re tired of the pressure to perform, please others, or over-function to keep the peace, Leslie’s resources can help you create emotional and spiritual breathing room. Register now for Leslie’s free workshop: Change Your Story, Change Your Life: Moving from Breakdown to Breakthrough Thursday, December 4th at 12pm or 7:30pm ET leslievernick.com/stuck Final Encouragement Friend, you don’t have to be everything to everyone this holiday season. You don’t need to hustle for love or sacrifice your sanity to make others happy. Boundaries aren’t walls to shut people out—they’re gates that let love in. You are allowed to protect your peace. You are allowed to rest. You are allowed to say no—with kindness, clarity, and courage. And when you do? You’ll be saying a much bigger yes to God, to emotional wholeness, and to the kind of love that sets both you and others free. You’ve got this—with God’s help.  

How to Discern a Safe and Godly Man What does a safe and godly man truly look like? And how can you tell the difference between surface-level change and deep, lasting heart transformation? In this powerful episode, Leslie sits down with Michael and Kristen Cary, founders of Living Truth and creators of Men in the Battle and Women in the Battle. Together, they unpack the hard but healing truth about what real repentance looks like in a man, how to spot red flags—even when he seems "nice"—and why women need to do their own healing work, whether or not their partner is changing. With raw honesty and biblical wisdom, this conversation offers practical tools to help women discern character, build clarity, and courageously walk toward truth and safety. Key Takeaways True Repentance Goes Beyond Behavior Management Real heart change isn’t just about stopping bad behavior—it’s about digging deep to understand the “why” beneath it. Men who are truly repentant aren’t just trying to avoid consequences; they’re broken over the pain they’ve caused, open to feedback, and willing to do the long, hard work of healing. Women Must Heal, Too Betrayal trauma doesn’t just disappear with his sobriety. Even if the sexual sin wasn’t yours, the pain and damage are real. Healing requires tending to your own wounds, setting boundaries, and stepping into the work of becoming whole again—regardless of what he chooses to do. Believe the Behavior, Not the Words Change is seen in fruit, not phrases. Many men can talk the talk—especially in Christian circles—but safety is shown through consistent actions: humility, accountability, respect for boundaries, and emotional maturity. If he gets defensive, blames, or minimizes your pain, those are red flags—not repentance. When “Nice” Isn’t Safe Just because he’s nice doesn’t mean he’s safe. Safety means he can hear your truth without punishing you. He respects your "no," honors your boundaries, and doesn’t manipulate with guilt, fear, or Scripture. A man who is truly safe will prioritize your emotional and spiritual well-being—not just try to keep the peace. The Pain Must Be His Teacher—Not Yours Sometimes the only thing that wakes someone up is the pain of consequences. Staying “nice” to avoid upsetting him often prevents the very growth that’s needed. Love does not mean enabling sin. Godly sorrow leads to repentance—not just sorrow over being caught. If You're Struggling to Discern the Truth… If you’re unsure whether your marriage is just difficult, chronically disappointing, or truly destructive, don’t stay stuck in confusion. Leslie has created a free Quick Start Guide to help you gain clarity, take your next right step, and begin walking in truth. Download your guide here: www.leslievernick.com/guide To connect with Michael and Kristen Cary and explore their healing programs for men and women: Visit: www.living-truth.org Dear Friend, God is not asking you to sacrifice your safety, sanity, or soul to save a marriage that is wounding you. He calls us to walk in truth, not denial—to speak up, not shrink back. Even if he never changes, you can. You are not alone, and you are not powerless. With God’s help, you can move forward in wisdom, clarity, and courage—one brave step at a time.  

October is Domestic Violence Awareness Month, and while we wish this wasn’t something we needed to talk about, it’s a heartbreaking reality—even among those who profess faith in Christ. In this powerful and eye-opening episode, Leslie speaks directly to women who are suffering in silence, helping them understand the truth about domestic abuse through a biblical lens. If you’ve ever been told to pray harder, submit more, or suffer silently for the sake of your marriage, this episode is a must-listen. With over 45 years of counseling experience, Leslie shares how abuse shows up in both obvious and subtle ways and offers practical, faith-based guidance for identifying abuse, responding wisely, and reclaiming your safety, dignity, and voice. Key Takeaways Domestic Abuse is Always Sin Domestic violence isn’t just about physical harm—it's any pattern of dishonoring behavior, including emotional, verbal, spiritual, financial, and sexual abuse. Abuse is never justified, never excusable, and always sinful. God’s Word calls us to honor one another as His image-bearers, and repeated harm without repentance is not just sinful—it's destructive. You Are Not to Blame Abuse is not a response to being provoked. Everyone gets frustrated, but each of us is responsible for our own actions and words. Ephesians reminds us: “In your anger, do not sin.” An abuser’s choice to harm is not your fault. You are not to carry the blame for someone else’s sin. Biblical Headship is Not About Control True biblical headship is never about domination or coercion. Biblical submission must be freely chosen—not forced. When power is used to silence, manipulate, or intimidate, it is no longer leadership; it is oppression. God’s heart is always for the oppressed, not the oppressor. God Cares About Your Safety The Bible does not ask you to stay in harm’s way. Proverbs 27:12 says, “The prudent see danger and take refuge.” God values your safety and sanity more than keeping up appearances. From Rahab to baby Jesus fleeing Herod, Scripture supports wise action to protect life and wellbeing. Speak the Truth and Allow Consequences Ephesians 5:11 tells us to expose the unfruitful deeds of darkness. Enabling sin through silence is not biblical. Loving your enemy doesn't mean tolerating abuse or reconciling without repentance. True change involves confession, visible repentance, and bearing the weight of consequences. Even David, though forgiven, faced the loss of his child as a result of sin. Healing Starts With Truth and Safety Are you feeling overwhelmed or unsure about what to do next? Start by taking one brave step toward truth and safety. Begin building a safety plan, speak up to someone you trust, and don’t be afraid to set boundaries. Romans 12:21 reminds us, “Do not be overcome by evil, but overcome evil with good.” You are not powerless. Choosing what is good might mean leaving, telling the truth, or finally saying "no more." If this episode spoke to your heart, and you realize you need help navigating a destructive marriage, please know you're not alone. We offer faith-based support and resources to help you move forward with courage and clarity. Visit https://leslievernick.com/guide to get your Quick Start Guide now. Dear friend, God does not call you to suffer in silence. You are His beloved daughter, worthy of safety, love, and respect. Abuse breaks the covenant—not you seeking safety. Take heart. You are not alone, and with God's help, healing and freedom are possible. May you find the strength to speak truth, seek safety, and walk forward in faith, one brave step at a time. For Biblical references, CLICK HERE