Recovery Elevator

Today we have Stef. She is 39 years old, lives in Truckee, CA, and took her last drink on March 24th, 2026.
 
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[02:00] Thoughts from Paul:
 
Yes, we are all broken. Not because of a drinking problem, but because all 8 billion humans on the planet are perfectly imperfect.
 
While a drinking problem breaks you, it can be alchemized or transformed into your greatest strength. The transformation that someone makes when stepping into an alcohol-free life is hard to describe. Imperfection, brokenness, and flaws are not failures, but rather essential openings for growth, understanding, and hope.
 
"There's a crack in everything. That's how the light gets in." – Leonard Cohen
 
"The world breaks everyone, and afterward, many are strong at the broken places..." – Ernest Hemingway
 
Kintsugi – the Japanese art of repairing broken pottery by mending cracks with lacquer dusted or mixed with powdered gold, silver, or platinum.
 
[06:10] Paul introduces Stef:
 
Stef is 39 years old, works in property management and has two dogs.  
 
Stef was socially awkward growing up, but when she had her first drink, she says she felt at home. She loosened up and her personality came out. Rules were restrictive at home, so she didn't have a lot of opportunities to party until she was kicked out. She says she floated around and did a lot of partying at that point.
 
When Stef was in her early 20s, her boyfriend passed away in a drunk driving accident. Stef says the only way she knew how to cope with things was to drink and forget it.  It wasn't long after that she got her first DUI. She ran from the charges for about two years and when she was picked up on a warrant, she was sent to AA meetings.
 
Stef says going to the first AA meeting felt like the first drink she had. She felt like she belonged there. She was 24 at the time and was able to quit drinking for six months before moving which is when she stopped reaching out to her sponsor.
 
Stef thought that she could use what she learned in AA to keep her from drinking alcoholically again. But as time went on, the drinking ramped back up. Stef eventually found herself unemployed, unable to pay rent, and had to move in with her grandmother in Sacramento.
 
Things were going well for Stef. She was able to get a job, stopped drinking and partying, but she was still hiding alcohol and drinking after everyone in the house went to bed. Not long after this, she moved to Lake Tahoe because she enjoys snowboarding. She ended up choosing the party over snowboarding and began having consequences.
 
Between 2014 and 2019, Stef got three more DUIs. The fourth DUI came after a rock bottom day of drinking that ended with Stef in a mental health facility swearing that if she was able to get out of there, she would return to AA. The judge ultimately mandated that Stef attend AA, so she dove in and began a four and a half year stretch alcohol-free.
 
Stef says the desire to drink came out of nowhere in April of 2025. I progressed to daily drinking very quickly and once she caught herself justifying driving drunk again, she knew enough was enough. This time she is quitting for herself, not a court order.
 
Praying, playing the tape forward and attending meetings are important resources for Stef. She hasn't forgotten anything she learned in AA and now she enjoys being able to help others. Stef is grateful to have a clear head and be present for everyone in her life now.
 
Stef's parting piece of guidance: "Give yourself a chance. See what could come from it. It's likely going to be very positive for you. So give yourself that chance. You deserve it."
 
Recovery Elevator
It all starts from the inside out.
I love you guys.
 
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Today we have Brooke. She is 55 years old, lives in Denver, CO and she took her last drink on February 17th, 2026.
 
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If you're wondering what you can expect in your first seven days alcohol free, well, we just created a FREE 7-day guide for your first seven days. 
 
[02:39] Thoughts from Paul:
 
In the upcoming book, This is How We Quit, we are currently narrowing down the submissions from 66 to around 20. While reviewing these all, Paul shares with us a snippet from one of them by Kristi, who was the guest on episode 492.
 
[07:45] Paul introduces Brooke:
 
Brookes lives in Denver, CO, has been married for 25 years and they have two sons. She has a background in education and for fun she enjoys being outside. They enjoy hiking, skiing, walking and playing tennis.
 
Growing up, Brooke believed that alcohol was necessary part of living. She saw her parents drink casually and was in a lot of environments where drinking was a given. Brooke took her first drink in high school, and it was just part of socializing throughout high school, college and her early professional years.
 
Brooke says it's hard to imagine a time when she didn't think drinking was normalized. Whether drinking for celebration or drinking for grieving, alcohol was always present.
 
Once Brooke reached her 40s, she noticed that it wasn't as easy to get up the next day without some sort of hangover symptoms even if all she had was one or two drinks after a hard day at work.  
 
Brooke was starting to question her drinking but the talk about alcohol being "good for us" was conflicting. She was beginning to see the signs of alcohol interfering with her health. She was participating in cleanses for 10 or 30 days and found that she felt so much better when she took breaks from drinking. It was hard for her to think about quitting completely because if how much it was present socially.
 
When Brooke's mother was diagnosed with cancer, she noticed that all of the doctors discouraged alcohol. This got the wheels turning for Brooke and she did a deep dive on the detriments of alcohol on our bodies.
 
Brooke was recovering from shingles this past February and that is when she decided she was done with alcohol. She doesn't feel like it was a rock bottom moment, but more of a realization that she was just exhausted from the inner dialogue around her drinking.
 
When she initially quit, Brooke was questioning how she was going to show up in her life without the drinking. She had experience quitting from doing cleanses in the past, so she knew it would be tough initially, but was prepared to be kind to herself throughout the process. She focused on caring for herself as she would care for one of her children if they were in distress or sick.
 
Learning and reading research about what alcohol does to our bodies has been helpful for Brooke. She has learned to slow down and be more aware of her feelings and what she needs to make herself feel better, without alcohol. Brooke uses a breathwork to help calm her nervous system and has also found great healing in nature.
 
In addition to yoga, mediation, breathwork and nature, other resources Brooke has found helpful on her journey are attending therapy, reading Quitlit, research on functional medicine and reading the bible. Attending meetings with sober communities has been important as well.
 
At about two months sober at the time of this recording, Brooke says she feels stronger than she's ever felt. She feels free and clear in both her head and heart spaces and is excited to explore life free of alcohol.
 
Recovery Elevator
Go big. Because eventually we'll all go home.
I love you guys.
 
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Today we have Anita. She is 49 years old from Bend, OR and she took her last drink on January 4th, 2026.
 
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[03:14] Thoughts from Paul:
 
Paul shares with us that in the upcoming interview, he and the guest talk about religion. While he knows this can be a triggering topic for some, including him, he encourages us to be open minded to both the interview and religion in general.
 
[12:38] Paul introduces Anita:
 
Anita is 49 years old, lives in Bend, OR she is single and works as a family doctor. Much of her family also lives in the area. Anita enjoys hiking, cold plunges, dancing and frequently travels to Esalen in Big Sur.
 
Anita was raised in a Christian cult called but went to public schools which left her feeling anxious and nervous all the time. She says the didn't have a TV at home, so Anita would find herself reading comics and snacking. This later developed into an eating disorder as she grew into adolescence.
 
Anita graduated from high school and attended a Christian college in Michigan. Being a rule follower, Anita didn't drink much before she was 21. Her drinking remained rather moderate while she was addressing her eating disorder. She was attending Overeaters Anonymous and followed a meal plan that didn't include alcohol.
 
After about five years, Anita became an atheist and decided she didn't want to practice medicine anymore. She decided to trust the universe and move to southern California, but it didn't go well for Anita, and she moved back to Oregon after four years.
 
Anita would go back and forth with alcohol over the years, but up until this past January, would always find herself going back. With a stressful job helping others, drinking was a way to regroup at the end of the day. On January 5th, Anita stumbled across a copy of Paul's book Alcohol is Shit she had in her office and started reading. From there, she started listening to the RE podcast and found herself deeply identifying with an interview Paul had with Sarah (episode 568).
 
Anita agrees that there is power in listening to others' stories. Acknowledging that she was a high-functioning alcohol user, Anita believes that we get to choose how low we go. She says while she still thinks of alcohol, it doesn't nip at her heels the way it used to. Intuitively she knows that it is toxic and no longer wants to use alcohol in her existence. Without alcohol she knows she can create more realness in her life that will help her address whatever is thrown at her.
Anita believes in being open about her recovery and telling others that she doesn't drink. She continues to listen to podcasts, recently joined Café RE, reads books and watches YouTube videos. She has started interacting with nature more so it can reteach her where her place is in life.
 
Anita's parting piece of guidance: give it a chance. If you're listening to this, you're already conflicted about it. Give your heart a chance to have a day without alcohol and see where that takes you.
 
Recovery Elevator
It all starts from the inside out.
I love you guys.
 
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Café RE – THE social app for sober people

Today we have Will. He is 32 years old, lives in Allenstown, NH and took his last drink on October 5th, 2019.
 
This episode is brought to you by:
 
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Bozeman 2026 – August 12th-16th, 2026
 
[06:22] Paul introduces Will:
 
Will is 32 years old, lives in New Hampshire and works for the US Postal Service. Will enjoys writing, watching films, hiking and traveling. 
 
Will grew up in a strict, religious household. From middle school through high school, Will did homeschooling which left him feeling like he didn't really have any friends. By the time he was 15 or 16, he felt like he was missing out on a lot of life experiences. Will moved out of home with his brother when he turned 18 and says this is when his partying began as a way to make up for lost time.
 
Will began working in the food service industry and says it was his first taste of life outside of the religious bubble he had grown up in. While he had a level of social anxiety that kept him out of nightclubs and things of that nature, his brother enjoyed the nightlife and typically had alcohol in the house which Will would drink by himself.
 
Between the ages of 19 and 21, Will had found some friends he calls kindred spirits in that they were all creative and a little nerdy. He says his life was simple back then: go to work and then go hang out with his friends and play/watch video games while drinking.
 
At 22, Will got a DUI. This was not enough to make him feel like he needed to stop drinking but he thought he should try moderating. The financial struggles after the DUI were hard on Will and he was beginning to feel like he screwed his life up already. Between ages 22 and 24, Will references them as his rock bottom years. He was losing friends due to his behavior when he drank and felt haunted by social failures and missing opportunities.
 
Will tried going to therapy at 24 but didn't address his drinking at all. The anxiety and depression were crippling, and he began having suicidal ideations. Will tried going to AA but struggled not to focus on the things he didn't agree with. It was a TV series called Patrick Melrose that helped inspire Will to try something new. Will decided to try going to rehab.
 
Will started burning the ships with his family and the supervisory staff at his jobs so that he could plan to go to detox. He was there for nine days and says it was an amazing experience. He felt good about the decision to go and says he got a lot of out of it.
 
The cycle of starts and stops began, Will was trying to hide his drinking unsuccessfully. In this middle of this time, he had started dating someone and fell in love. They ended up moving in together. Will says the move was helpful for him, but he was still trying to drink and hide it from her. 
 
The night before a planned trip to NYC, Will drank a couple of beers, and his girlfriend could smell it on him the next morning. They talked about it on the way to their Airbnb and Will spent his first day sober walking around the city. This experience left an impression on Will, and he recognized he could have fun sober and it made him crave more life experiences.
 
Will's girlfriend was very supportive; he returned to AA meetings and got a new therapist that specialized in addiction. After several months, he began taking classes for recovery support. An internship led to a job and Will says it was life changing.
 
Since being in recovery, Will says that his depression is gone and he is better at holding himself accountable in his life. A lot has happened since he quit drinking, but he feels that all of the challenges have made him stronger.
 
Recovery Elevator
We took the elevator down.
You've got to take the stairs back up.
We can do this.
 
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Today's episode includes a Q & A session conducted live at Recovery Point, which is a resource center for those who struggle with addiction located in Bozeman, Montana.
 
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Bozeman 2026 – August 12th-16th, 2026
 
[02:19] Paul introduces Jay, Jennifer, Chris and Linda
 
Each panel member shares a little about themselves and what drove them to seek recovery.
 
Question – When did you open up to community?
 
Jay shares that he started going to AA while in jail and attended a program called Bridging the Gap through treatment court which helped him find connection and community.
 
Jen was a few months into her recovery when she discovered Café RE and found that others sharing their stories helped her a lot.
 
Chris said he had made several half-hearted attempts at quitting before finding books and communities. He shares that he was stubborn at first, but now has made many friends in Café RE.
 
Linda attended treatment court with Jay but was trying to be a lone wolf. She didn't have a driver's license and found herself having to ask others for help. She found community in AA and NA/
 
Questions – What's your favorite recovery quote? One word to summarize your sobriety?
 
Linda – "it's only a thing if you make it a thing" and her word is "unbelievable"
 
Chris – "play the tape forward" and his word is "peaceful"
 
Jen – "keep it simple" and her word is "content"
 
Jay – "this too shall pass – the good and the bad" and his word is "serenity"
 
The panel shares their observations on the stigma around addiction decreasing and the increase of alcohol-free options when they go out. They all agree it is great to see that there are more options for people that don't want to drink and more and more places for opportunities to have mocktails while socializing and living life.
Question – In a life without alcohol, has something surprised you?
 
Jen shares that she always loved to camp and the first time she went alcohol-free, she felt uncomfortable at first. She sees that she has more time to do the things she loves and try new things.
 
Chris says he has so much clarity and energy to do things. Having more time, flexibility and extra money has been nice.
 
Jay says a lot of his hobbies stayed the same, he just enjoys them more now. He realized he doesn't really like fishing after doing it for so many years. He has also found that he enjoys coaching his daughter's softball team. 
 
Question – What advice do you have for the person that may be struggling to quit drinking?
 
Jay – you don't have to do it alone, you don't have to be ashamed
 
Jen – you can do it, and reach out
 
Chris – you don't have to do it alone, reach out and engage in a community
 
Linda – find one person that you can trust and start there.
 
[49:39] Thoughts from Paul:
 
The planet is currently giving out signs of distress, and all have anchoring to humans and what we have done to nature. Addiction may be the answer to this. When we stop poisoning ourselves with alcohol, a connection or reconnection with nature takes place.
 
Addiction, or the other side of addiction, is what connects our species back to the pulsations of the earth, animals, wind, sea and within our own hearts. Addiction and the healing that follows is what connects us back to ourselves, the planets, and the animals.
 
Recovery Elevator
You took the elevator down.
You've got to take the stairs back up.
We can do this.
 
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Café RE