Recovery Elevator

Today we have Amy. She is 43 years old, lives in Santa Ynez, CA and took her last drink of alcohol on May 25th, 2026.
 
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[01:52] Thoughts from Paul:
 
Everyone struggles with something and for you that may be alcohol. Paul's message for today isn't how to lessen that struggle. Instead, he wants you to accept it, own it and embrace it.
 
Unlike many other ailments, where the ideal outcome is to get back where you were, an alcohol addiction allows us to blow past that. We can not only heal from it, but we can be catapulted into a much healthier way of living. This time can be an intense chapter of growth, where you'll emerge with more depth and understanding of yourself and others when you hit the other side.
 
Be patient, trust the process, own it and befriend it. Turn your struggle into your greatest strength. Not many get to do that with their problems.
 
 
[05:30] Paul introduces Amy:
 
Amy is 43 years old, lives in Santa Ynez, CA, has four children and a variety of pets. She was a nurse for many years, but now just stays home and loves hiking.
 
Amy grew up in a family with two addicted parents. Her mother went into treatment for a year when Amy was six years old. Amy and her brother spent a lot of time in NA and AA meetings as kids and said it was traumatizing to hear all the stories about people's addictions but was grateful for her mother's sobriety.
 
Amy was 14 years old when she started drinking. Her mother was sober for about 10 years and then began drinking again. There were a lot of toxic family things happening and Amy ended up getting kicked out of her home at 16.
 
After getting pregnant at 17, Amy decided she was going to be a parent, put herself through nursing school and prove to everyone that she was not going to turn out like her parents. Around this time, she became friends with a woman who drank wine and made it look sophisticated and cool. They would have play dates for their kids and drink wine together.
 
In spite of getting a DUI when she was 20, Amy did not think her drinking was a problem. She didn't believe she needed to quit drinking, she just needed to quit drinking and driving.
Amy met her husband and soon they moved to California and got married. Amy had two more kids back-to-back and this is when she realized that she looked forward to 5pm so that she could drink due to the stress of parenting.
 
After the birth of her fourth child, Amy and her husband hired an au pair to have some assistance with the kids while they both worked. Amy was friends with a group of people at work that she would go out with on Friday nights. Since she had an au pair, she was able to go out without accountability. At the same time, she had a friend with access to cocaine so Amy would use it in addition to drinking.
 
A close friend of Amy's was visiting and saw firsthand what she was doing. She offered to take Amy with her to Peru to participate in plant medicine. After coming home from this experience, Amy decided to put together some tools and chose to quit drinking for a year. When she started back and attempted moderation, it didn't go well and she realized it was easier to not have any drinks than to try and only have one.
 
Before quitting drinking again, Amy started doing meditation and practicing yoga. Eventually she started recognizing the incongruency of drinking heavily and doing healthy activities. Amy started playing the tape forward before social events and realized that she needed to quit for good.
 
Since quitting drinking this time, Amy has started listening to podcasts, has joined Reframe, meditates regularly, enjoys journalling and recently started The Artist's Way.
 
Amy's parting piece of guidance: stop drinking to make everyone else comfortable.
 
Recovery Elevator
You took the elevator down.
You have got to take the stairs back up.
We can do this.
 
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Today we have Shane. He is 45 years old, lives in Northern California, and he took his last drink on September 12th, 2013.
 
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[01:08] Thoughts from Paul:
 
Paul shares that he is having trouble moving on after his loss of Ben. There is still a pile of poop in his yard that he is not going to pick up. He reflects that over time; he knows it will eventually disappear as life moves on and so will he eventually.
 
Moving on from alcohol is hard too. Yes, there were fun times, great memories, but it turned and it's no longer serving us. As a community, we are all moving on.
 
As Odette said in episode 282 – you can miss drinking even though you don't want to drink anymore. Don't sweep the pain of losing alcohol under a rug, it needs to be grieved as it is the loss of a major life companion. But…we are moving on. And you are invited to join us.
 
[04:17] Paul introduces Shane:
 
Shane is from Northern California, is married and they have two children. He works full time in podcasting and communications, and for fun he enjoys playing golf, chess and fitness.
 
Shane says he grew up in an alcoholic household, and his parents were very young when they had him. Growing up he had a lot of resentments and anger towards his parents which he feels led him down the path to use alcohol and other drugs to escape.
 
After a baseball injury, Shane started playing in bands with aspirations of making it in the music business. Along with this came a lot of partying, drugs and alcohol which ended up being a big part of his twenties. In the back of his mind he knew he didn't want to live that way, but he ignored it.
 
Once they had their daughter, Shane began to realize that he was becoming everything that he never wanted to be. The last three years of his drinking progressed so quickly, Shane says, and drinking was such a normalized part of life.
 
The day of his last drink found Shane talking to his wife and letting her know that he needed help to quit drinking. He says the weight lifted off of his shoulders but then he instantly was concerned about the fact that there was no turning back.
 
With the help of his wife and their close friend who got sober, Shane went to inpatient rehab and says it saved his life. When he returned to work, he found himself commuting a lot and a friend introduced him to podcasts. Recognizing that there weren't a lot of sobriety podcasts, Shane decided to start his own.
 
The point of creating the podcast for Shane was to give a space where people could openly share. Shane encourages anyone that may think they have an issue with alcohol to find someone they trust and just open up about it. He believes that conversation creates connection and addiction is the opposite of connection.
 
Shane shares that the biggest gift that sobriety has given him is presence and being conscious. It has given him the ability to grow into his authentic self.
 
Shane's parting piece of guidance: Go for it. Jump in. Don't wait. You're not alone.
 
You can find Shane and all of the offerings he has on his website: That Sober Guy.
 
 
 
Recovery Elevator
We took the elevator down.
We got to take the stairs back up.
We can do this.
 
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Today we have Becca. She is 35 years old, lives in Delaware County, PA, and she took her last drink of alcohol on August 7th, 2024.
 
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[02:25] Thoughts from Paul:
 
The most important thing that someone has to achieve or overcome if they are to quit drinking is denial. The very convincing inner voice that keeps telling you on repeat that you do not have a problem.
 
This is hard because we build our lives around alcohol and usually this is done unconsciously. The problem is often hiding in plain sight, and you just can't or choose not to see it. It's also hard because marketing is powerful and smart people are paid a lot of money to make you feel like it's a required sidecar to life.
 
So even though the addiction is hiding in plain sight, you also know it is there. You know how alcohol makes you feel. In addition to the voice saying you don't have a problem, there is another voice telling you, "I'll give you 50 more hangovers and then it's time to move on".
 
Next week, we'll talk more about moving on.
 
[06:23] Paul introduces Becca:
 
Becca is 35 years old, lives in Delaware County, PA, has two cats and 12-13 nieces and nephews. For fun, Becca enjoys hiking, music, reading, film, cooking and puzzles. 
 
Becca was one of seven children growing up. Her older siblings liked to party, so Becca followed in their footsteps in her early teens. She drank and smoked pot for a few years before getting introduced to harder drugs when she was around 16. She quickly felt like she had cracked the code for getting through life. Becca says she was really naïve and spending time with bad people.
 
In 2010, Becca was in a car accident that left her badly injured. She was only 19 and says this was the lowest time of her life. She withdrew from opiates but ended up going back out before having a friend take her to rehab where she first attempted recovery and eventually got sober in 2012.
 
Becca dealt with the loss of several friends in 2013, and this is when excessive drinking sneaked into her life. She had another accident and DUI in 2014 and refused to believe that the drinking was a problem. She was able to quit when she went to school and believed that since she could quit for periods of time, that it wasn't an issue for her.
 
Becca believed that she should be able to control her drinking and would beat herself up whenever she wasn't. Her drinking slowed dramatically in 2019 because she was sick of the anxiety and how she was relating to herself. She did end up becoming a workaholic to avoid dealing with anything that was bothering her.
 
After staying sober through the pandemic, Becca began to use drinking as a way to connect with others and not drink by herself. Within a few weeks she was right back into self-loathing and trapped in the cycle of stops and starts for the next several years.
 
In 2024, Becca took a fall at work that has had lasting physical and emotional impacts. She went through another dark time where she wasn't showing up for herself or others and was just sick and tired of being sick and tired.
 
It was after six months of sobriety that Becca joined AA, found the RE podcast, and later joined Café RE. In her previous attempts at quitting, Becca was trying to do it by herself. Being part of community has been life-changing for her in that she feels acceptance and the ability to hear her story in others. This year she has finally started to feel safer in her nervous system, she is more grounded in herself and able to hold space for good things.
 
Becca's parting piece of guidance: Don't get stuck on the fear. Get out of that comfortable pain and embrace something new.
 
Recovery Elevator
We took the elevator down.
We got to take the stairs back up.
We can do this.
 
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Today we have Rich. He is from Sacramento, CA, he is 60 years old and took his last drink on August 8th, 2025.
 
This episode is brought to you by:
 
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Registration opens on July 15th, 2026, for our sober travel trip to Morocco which is March 3rd – 13th, 2027.
 
[02:14] Thoughts from Paul:
 
If you are in early sobriety or find yourself on day one, your only job right now is to not drink. It isn't time to fix your whole life or worry about being productive and having it all figured out.
 
By staying honest with your #1 job of not drinking, the body will become incredibly productive in terms of healing. Your dopamine begins to rewire; your sleep system starts to re-balance. All while you are resting.
 
Even though we sometimes know that not drinking is our #1 job, we can still struggle to keep it this simple. The good news is that every day is a new opportunity to perfect the job and by doing so, everything else will fall into place. Trust the process.
 
[06:05] Paul introduces Rich:
 
Rich is 60 years old and lives in Sacramento, CA with his wife of 35 years. They have two grown children and two rat terriers to help fill the empty nest. For work, Rich is a salesman for an equipment company. For fun, Rich enjoys riding his Peloton bike, cooking, and he is an avid sports fan.
 
Rich reflects that a lot of his drinking came from his inability to control his emotions. He says his home life growing up was great, but there was no discussion or expression of emotions. He was bullied often when he was in junior high but didn't feel comfortable telling anyone about it.
 
On a few occasions throughout high school and college, Rich realized that alcohol helped him become the life of the party and be able to talk to people he wasn't normally friendly with. He learned that if he drank, he would be accepted and have friends.
 
After graduating college, Rich was working in the restaurant business as a bartender in a small beach town. He said he had a lot of fun, made a lot of money and met his wife there. After getting married, they started a restaurant that they ran together for several years. Rich says his drinking wasn't an issue at that point because the restaurant did not have a focus on alcohol.
 
Alcohol began becoming an issue for Rich in 2018 when he transitioned from a management position to a sales position that involved a lot of traveling and entertaining customers. Over time he was basing where he would stay on the location's proximity to a liquor store and would drink before and after meetings with customers.
 
After a while, Rich started recognizing that the bottle he bought at the beginning of the trips weren't lasting as long. He would try to moderate and quickly realized it was a problem doing so especially when COVID lockdown had him concerned that liquor stores were going to be closed. At this point, Rich says a lot of his drinking happened in isolation. He was withdrawing from friends and family and trying to hide how much he was drinking from his wife.
 
Rich was confronted by his wife a few times and always promised to work on his drinking with little luck. He attempted moderation with the help of an app but didn't make much success and says trying to moderate made him think about alcohol more. Eventually his wife called in reinforcements with their daughter, and Rich knew it was time to stop, but wasn't sure what that looked like.
 
Rich was able to quit that day. The detox symptoms were hard, but after 10 days, he began to feel better and sleep better. Rich began reading quit lit and utilizing apps and its resources. After six months, Rich's wife encouraged him to find community. As a listener of the RE podcast, Rich heard about Café RE and decided to join. Rich credits his family as being a valuable resource and motivation to stay sober.
 
Recovery Elevator
You took the elevator down; you've got to take the stairs back up.
You, WE, can do this.
 
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Today we have Eric. He is 55 years old, lives in Columbus, OH and took his last drink on February 14th, 2008.
 
This episode is brought to you by:
 
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Check out our upcoming Recovery Elevator Events. We have Bozeman next month, Morocco in March 2027 followed by a sober Camino de Santiago in October 2027.
 
[04:52] Thoughts from Paul:
 
The most important person in the rooms of recovery is not the person with 40 years of sobriety spouting off all the wisdom compiled over the years. It is the newcomer. The person in the room who shares the most truth, is the person who has the least amount of time from their last drink. To the new listener, the newcomer, we want to hear from you. Paul shares a personal experience where a newcomer gave him some of the best motivation he ever received.
 
The newcomer is also the most important person in the room because a core foundation of recovery is helping others. People in recovery want to help, and we encourage you to accept that help.
 
There are many other reasons why the newcomer is the most important. And if you're a new listener to Recovery Elevator, we are happy to have you. Stick around.
 
[08:38] Paul introduces Eric:
 
Eric is the podcast host of The One You Feed. He is 55 years old and lives in Columbus, Ohio with his partner of 10 years. He has one adult son who is a wildland firefighter. For fun, Eric enjoys playing guitar, walking, hiking, and reading.
 
Eric started drinking as a teenager, but it didn't really take off until he was around eighteen. Over the next seven years, Eric says he was rarely sober. He was just drinking alcohol initially, but his drug use progressed to where he says he was a homeless heroin addict facing 50 years in prison and weighed only 100 pounds.
 
Eric was sober for about eight years but ended up drinking again and leaving the recovery community. Eric says his brain told him that he could do it this time and it would be ok because he was different now. But he wasn't. The next rock bottom wasn't as bad as the first, but he was out of control just like before. After a five-day binge that left him feeling scared and sick, he went back to a 12-step meeting.
 
Eric says it was a gradual process getting sober the second time. He knew he was out of control because he would be saying "I'm not going to drink today" and then gets hammered, or "I'm only going to have two" and then gets hammered. He was not on board with going back into a 12-step program, so he joined the Moderation Management program and tried to control his drinking. What he learned was that trying to control his drinking was miserable.
 
Eric's life looked completely different on his second sobriety attempt. The first time he went into treatment after burning his life to the ground. This time he had a job, a child, and while he went to a meeting every day, he couldn't give his whole life to recovery like before. It was a little bit harder but soon cool things began to happen for Eric.
 
It has been 18 years since Eric had his last drink. He no longer thinks about drugs or alcohol at all and can easily be around it all without a thought. Recovery for him meant he needed to learn to understand how his mind and emotions worked and how to use them both more skillfully.
 
In this disconnected world, Eric shares several things he does that help him stay connected. Working on his podcast helps because he having conversations with others 2-4 times each week. He makes himself leave the house regularly and spend time with friends. He plans walks with friends and he also does coaching work.
 
Eric has recently published a book called How a Little Becomes a Lot: The Art of Small Changes for a More Meaningful Life.
 
Recovery Elevator
It all starts from the inside out.
I love you guys.
 
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