No Ordinary Days

One thing that parents - particularly Christian parents - are often opposed to is rewarding their children for good behavior. Their concern is understandable - what if my child learns to obey just to receive rewards? And if the reward is removed or becomes commonplace, will they continue to obey? In this episode we discuss whether or not this fear is well founded or if rewards can, in fact, be used appropriately to encourage good behavior in our children.

It's hard to admit when we're wrong. For some parents it's almost impossible. And yet, when our children exhibit disobedience or rebellious behavior, an honest assessment will often reveal that much of what we're seeing is the result of our failure in some area of their life. Have we expected too much or too little of them? Have we been too strict or too lenient? Have we neglected to spend time with them - to listen to them? In many cases, their misbehavior is, in fact, a natural reaction to these errors on our part and are their only way to draw attention to them. That is, if we have ears to hear and if our hearts are willing to accept responsibility and course correct for their benefit.

Do your children trust you? When you promise them you'll go on a bike ride, do you mean it? When you give them 10 seconds to come to you, do you continue counting to 11, 12, 13 before you really get serious? Actions such as these undermine the level of trust our children have in the durability of our word. They also create an environment that breeds disobedience, and worse, makes them less likely to confide in you in the future. In a world that is constantly lying to them, shouldn't we be among those that never would?

The principle of authority is pretty important to a parent. We appeal to it frequently to steer our children into compliance. If we had no authority, how would we ever get them to clean up after themselves or settle spats between them and their siblings? But do we, as parents, truly understand this authority we possess? Who gave it to us? What are its bounds? How is it properly used? The answers we give to these questions will not only determine our children's ability to respect our authority, but our ability to respect it as well.

The world grows more chaotic by the day. At some point we need to step back and ask why. Why this growing frustration, and anger and disillusionment? The simple answer is that we're growing increasingly more bold in our transgression of the fundamental laws and principles that undergird our existence. The more we repudiate the truths that exist in the heart of God and that are intended to govern our thoughts and actions, the more devastating the consequences. These consequences can be felt at every level. They can be felt by the mother or father who insist on coercing their children into obedience through fear and intimidation and they can be (or will be) felt by the politician who wields their limited authority as a bludgeon in their perilous pursuit of power.