195 | perfectionism, over-accommodation, and finding the middle ground
ABOUT THIS EPISODE (+ scroll for resources) 👇dr. tay dives deep into perfectionism — how it shows up in autism parenting, in clinical work, and even in content creation. she shares personal reflections, a powerful story from her group therapy model, and a reminder that perfectionism can hide behind our best intentions to help.this episode explores:the fine line between accommodation and over-accommodationperfectionism as a form of rigidity and how it sneaks into parentinglearning to release shame and accept imperfection as part of growthTIMESTAMPS00:00 introduction: what perfectionism looks like in parenting00:54 reflections from clinical practice and lived experience01:33 perfectionism behind the scenes of podcasting and social media02:36 when “doing it right” becomes doing too much12:46 finding the balance between accommodation and over-accommodation21:17 learning to release control and practice repair over perfection25:15 a group reflection on perfectionism and shared growth35:42 closing encouragement and ways to stay connectedRESOURCES⚡️ join evolve: the membership — a space for parents to reflect, connect, and grow through their autism journey.⚡️ learn more about dr. tay’s whole family approach and current clinical services at drtaylorday.com.⚡️ continue learning from me and submit questions (they may be featured on a future episode!)instagram → @the.dr.taytiktok → @the.dr.tay
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194 | embracing humanity + connection in autism with jessie caraway of the if you know one project
ABOUT THIS EPISODE (+ scroll for resources) 👇Dr. Tay sits down with Jessie Caraway, creator of the If You Know One Project, to talk about her family’s journey, her daughter’s autism diagnosis, and how the project grew out of a desire to build community and awareness.They reflect on the long road to an autism diagnosis, reframing “high support needs,” and the importance of seeing each autistic child through a lens of humanity rather than fear or deficit. Jessie shares how her journey with her daughter, Eliza, inspired her to create the If You Know One Project — a space that celebrates individuality and connection through neurodiversity-affirming awareness, apparel, and storytelling.Together, Dr. Tay and Jessie explore what it means to move forward with compassion, to hold complexity in parenting, and to remind families that every story — every one — matters.TIMESTAMPS00:00 Introduction and Guest Announcement00:29 Host’s Background and Podcast Purpose01:31 Guest Introduction and Family Background02:01 Starting the If You Know One Project03:29 Community Engagement and Resource Sharing06:50 Challenges in the Diagnosis Journey11:36 Navigating the Healthcare System18:23 The If You Know One Project’s Mission and Future Goals22:59 Navigating the Journey Together23:22 Support for Families24:04 Community and Connection24:33 Understanding High Support Needs25:22 The Value of Individuality26:20 Perspective Shifts and Humanity28:24 Building Trust and Communication32:19 Sharing Stories and Advocacy36:12 Encouragement for Parents38:56 Final Thoughts and Resources💛 RESOURCES⚡️ Connect with Jessie Caraway + The If You Know One Project:Instagram → @jess_ifyouknowoneEtsy Shop → If You Know One⚡️ Join EVOLVE: The Membership — a neurodiversity-affirming space for parents to find community, support, and ongoing learning on this journey.⚡️ Learn more about Dr. Tay’s Whole Family Approach + current services at drtaylorday.com⚡️ Continue learning + submit questions for future episodes:Instagram → @the.dr.tayTikTok → @the.dr.tay
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193 | instagram live q&a replay: autism headlines, affirming supports, + the just one thing challenge
ABOUT THIS EPISODE (+ scroll for resources) 👇this episode is a replay of my instagram live q+a, where we processed the recent press conference linking autism and tylenol. i shared reflections on research, stigma, and neurodiversity-affirming care, and answered parent questions in real time. we covered the nuance of research, medication conversations, ableism and stigma, and most importantly — how parents can ground themselves and their families. a special thank you to sam marion, lcsw (@sammarioncounseling) for moderating the live chat and helping to hold respectful space for this conversation.THE JUST ONE THING CHALLENGEtoward the end of this episode, i introduce the just one thing challenge—a free 7-day practice designed to help parents slow down, ground themselves, and notice one small glimmer in the middle of daily overwhelm. join the just one thing challenge starting monday, october 6th, 2025 – on instagram: follow @the.dr.tay and message JOTCHALLENGE – not on instagram? sign up here TIMESTAMPS00:00 introduction + intent of the live 01:46 introducing sam marion 03:51 processing the press conference 06:20 what neurodiversity affirming care really means 07:50 dr. tay’s background + perspective 09:52 making sense of autism research 12:36 diving into parent questions 24:05 responding to the administration’s narrative 39:54 fda-approved medications + leucovorin discussion 41:51 understanding pda + affirming supports 44:15 debunking tylenol + autism myths 45:56 confronting stigma + ableism 48:58 concerns about government policies 51:54 supporting autistic kids + families 01:10:51 the just one thing challenge 01:15:34 closing reflections + resourcesRESOURCES⚡️ join EVOLVE the membership to find community + support in your parenting journey⚡️ learn more about dr. tay's whole family approach + current clinical services offered at drtaylorday.com⚡️ continue learning from me + submit questions that may be featured on a future episode >> instagram @the.dr.tay tiktok @the.dr.tay
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192 | processing the press on autism and Tylenol
ABOUT THIS EPISODE (+ scroll for resources) 👇In this mini, spontaneous episode, Dr. Tay addresses the recent press conference where the administration linked autism to Tylenol, causing guilt and anxiety among parents. She emphasizes the importance of taking time to process emotions, the prevalence of misinformation, and the need for compassion. Dr. Tay reassures listeners that it's okay to take a pause, mute social media, and focus on emotional processing rather than seeking immediate answers. She encourages parents to embrace their current reality with their autistic child and highlights the complexity of autism's causes.00:00 Introduction 00:19 Addressing the Press Conference on Autism and Tylenol00:52 Processing and Community Feedback02:25 Neurodiversity and Emotional Support05:08 Clarifying Misconceptions about Autism Causes06:38 Encouragement and Self-Care Tips09:47 Final Thoughts and Outro RESOURCES ⚡️ join EVOLVE the membership here to have a community support you during these trying times ⚡️ learn more about Dr. Tay's Whole Family Approach and current clinical services offered at drtaylorday.com ⚡️ continue learning from me and submit any questions [could be featured on a future episode] >>Instagram @the.dr.tayTikTok @the.dr.tay
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191 | navigating demands + boundaries with the 3 bucket approach
ABOUT THIS EPISODE (+ scroll for resources) 👇In this mini episode, Dr. Tay shares a sneak peek into a training within EVOLVE the memberhsip. Sh dives into the concept of low demand parenting, particularly for families with children who resonate with the PDA profile. Dr. Tay introduces and explains the "3 Bucket Approach" to help parents manage demands and boundaries effectively. The episode also outlines the benefits of joining the membership where deeper guidance, resources, and community support are provided. Additionally, Dr. Tay highlights the importance of understanding family values and giving children autonomy, while maintaining necessary non-negotiable boundaries for safety and key family values.00:00 Introduction and Episode Overview00:36 Membership Insights and Podcast Differences01:15 Introducing a New Resource02:22 Understanding Low Demand Parenting06:21 The Three Bucket Approach06:55 Non-Negotiables and Key Family Values08:41 The Shoulds: Dropping Unnecessary Demands11:01 The Ideal or Yet Bucket11:57 Practical Examples and Applications15:48 Conclusion and Membership Invitation18:00 Episode Wrap-Up and Future Content RESOURCES⚡️ join EVOLVE the membership here⚡️ learn more about Dr. Tay's Whole Family Approach and current clinical services offered as well as her new educational membership? visit drtaylorday.com⚡️ continue learning from me and submit any questions [could be featured on a future episode] >>Instagram @the.dr.tayTikTok @the.dr.tay
About EVOLVE with Dr. Tay: the podcast for parents of autistic kids
welcome to a parenting space actually designed for YOU! where you can get answers about navigating a life that includes autism.
I’m Dr. Tay, a licensed child psychologist specializing in autism and neuroaffirming care. I have supported 100s of autistic children and their families and have been in the autism field for over a decade.
on this podcast, we focus on supporting your autistic child AND your whole family, including you! every topic is on the table, and your questions (which you can submit through my social media) inspire the episodes created. I share some of my personal stories growing up with a brother who was diagnosed at 23 months of age as well as feature other families' stories so you know you are not navigating this journey alone. this is a space for you to be SEEN. HEARD. SUPPORTED. and get reputable and reliable information about autism instead of searching Google endlessly for hours. I am so dang grateful that you are here.
***disclaimer: not clinical advice, for educational purposes only***
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