What a Secure Relationship Actually Looks Like (even if it feels weird)
If slow feels boring, if calm feels confusing, and if your nervous system is low-key addicted to chaos.... this one’s for you.
This week, we’re diving into what a secure relationship actually looks and feels like (even if your anxious attachment says, “Wait, is this it?”). Whether you’re dating, in a long-term partnership, or healing from relationship patterns that feel more like rollercoasters than real connection, I’m breaking down the 6 big shifts that define secure love.
✨ Spoiler alert: It’s not fast, intense, or dramatic. It’s steady. Consistent. Intentional. And deeply healing (even if your brain wants to sprint toward a vibe check).
We’re talking:
• Why moving fast ≠ connection
• How to tell if you’re chasing intensity instead of sincerity
• What “repair” looks like vs. reaction
• And why secure love might feel… weird (at first)
Plus, I’m sharing an honest question from one of my Healing Girl Gang members going through a painful breakup, and offering the truth we all need when we want to hold on instead of letting go. Let’s unlearn the chaos and relearn calm love, together.
🖐 Don’t forget to like, subscribe, and rate 5 stars—it helps keep this podcast free and gives me a virtual high five from your earbuds 💕
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Anxious attached with an Avoidant - Becoming Secure Together (Special Anniversary Episode!)
It’s our 6-year wedding anniversary (!!) and today I brought my husband Craig on the podcast for the realest conversation about love, growth, and the journey from spiraling to secure.
We’re answering your juiciest Qs:
✨ What it’s really like when anxious meets avoidant
✨ Our proposal story (yes, there was a backup plan involving a dog)
✨ How we almost didn’t make it—and what shifted
✨ Craig’s honest take on what helped him finally “grow up” emotionally
✨ Plus: our chaotic traits, icks, inside jokes, and a BIG announcement (no, not a baby)
Whether you’re deep in your healing era or just curious about what it looks like to actually do this work with a partner, this episode is for you. It’s honest. It’s sweet. It’s full of growth and some light roasting (Just the way we like it!)
WORK WITH ME: VIP 1:1 Session
💖JOIN THE HEALING GIRL GANG!💖
🔥CONFIDENCE CODE 💕
FOLLOW CLARE ON Instagram, TikTok or YouTube
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Why You Think Its Your Fault in the Relationship (even when its not)
Still Needing Constant Reassurance in Your Relationship? Here’s Why 👀 . This episode is for the anxious girlies who look like they have it all together … but on the inside, you’re checking the vibes like it’s your full-time job.
We’re talking:
✨ Why your brain craves constant reassurance—and how to stop needing it
✨ The connection between high achievement & emotional hypervigilance
✨ How to build real self-trust (the kind that doesn’t care if he texts back in 5 min or 5 hours)
PLUS: I’m sharing a few of the funniest icks from my DMs (and you will scream at one of them)
😂 If you're secretly struggling in a relationship that "should" feel safe, you're not crazy and you're definitely not alone. This episode will help you shift from spiraling to self-secure.
💌 JOIN THE HEALING GIRL GANG This month inside the Girl Gang, we’re doing a full detox of overthinking + learning exactly how to soothe yourself without needing 24/7 validation from your partner. Want in? DM me “GIRLGANG” on IG or click the link below.
🖐 Don’t forget to like, subscribe, and rate 5 stars—it helps keep this podcast free and gives me a virtual high five from your earbuds 💕
WORK WITH ME: VIP 1:1 Session
💖JOIN THE HEALING GIRL GANG!💖
🔥CONFIDENCE CODE 💕
FOLLOW CLARE ON Instagram, TikTok or YouTube
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How To Stop Needing Constant Reassurance
This episode is for the anxious girlies who look like they have it all together (you’ve got degrees, deadlines, and the job)… but on the inside, you’re checking the relationship vibes like it’s your full-time job.
We’re talking:
✨ Why your brain craves constant reassurance and how to stop needing it
✨ The connection between high achievement & emotional hyper-vigilance
✨ How to build real self-trust (the kind that doesn’t care if he texts back in 5 min or 5 hours)
PLUS: I’m sharing a few of the funniest icks from the TickerTocker (and you will scream at one of them) 😂 If you're secretly struggling in a relationship that "should" feel safe, you're not crazy and you're definitely not alone. This episode will help you shift from spiraling to self-secure.
💌 JOIN THE HEALING GIRL GANG
This month inside the Girl Gang, we’re doing a full detox of overthinking + learning exactly how to soothe yourself without needing 24/7 validation from your partner. Want in? DM me “GIRLGANG” on IG!
WORK WITH ME: VIP 1:1 Session
💖JOIN THE HEALING GIRL GANG!💖
🔥CONFIDENCE CODE 💕
FOLLOW CLARE ON Instagram, TikTok or YouTube
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3 Reasons Why Your Anxious Attachment Isn't Healing
We’re unpacking the 3 big reasons your anxious attachment isn’t healing, even if you’re doing everything “right.” Spoiler: it’s not about trying harder… it’s about trying differently.
If you’re a high-achieving, self-aware, anxious girlie who still feels like a walking red flag in relationships, this one’s for you.
We’re talking:
✨ Why performing yur healing is keeping you stuck
✨ The myth of linear progress (and why healing is actually a spiral staircase
✨ How to stop overwatering the plant and just let it grow 🪴
Plus, I’m sharing a wild story from the internet girlie streets (hi, Wizard Liz 👀) that proves you can be a literal goddess and still get ghosted, cheated on, or confused AF in love.
💌 JOIN THE HEALING GIRL GANG If you’re ready to actually break the anxious cycle and learn to feel safe in your body (not just in theory), come hang with us inside the Girl Gang. Monthly deep dives, nervous system rituals, and a no-perfection zone.
WORK WITH ME: VIP 1:1 Session
💖JOIN THE HEALING GIRL GANG!💖
🔥CONFIDENCE CODE 💕
FOLLOW CLARE ON Instagram, TikTok or YouTube
Listen up Girlies!! Healing isn’t just a (hot girl) walk in the park, it’s a damn journey. The BeThatHealingGirl Podcast is all about busting old school dating myths, breaking down our childhood traumas, unlearning our bad habits and healing your way to your DREAM LIFE! Let’s keep it real and begin to heal because honestly… eff that guy not texting you back, stop worrying about being liked, it’s time to let go of anxious attachment behaviors, start getting comfortable with being vulnerable and know your damn worth! So stop wishing you were her, join the journey and BE that healing girl.
South Africa