What Happens When You Keep Saying "I'm Fine" When You're Really Not
You say “I’m fine”… But your stomach’s in knots. Your voice is quieter than usual. You’re spinning in your head while trying to act chill on the outside. Sound familiar?
In this episode, I’m breaking down what really happens in your body, your brain, and your relationships when you keep pretending everything’s okay… especially when it’s not! This is for the high-achieving girlies who can hold it all together at work, but are overthinking up a storm in their relationships. The ones who’ve been told they’re “too much” and the ones who’ve been praised for being “so strong” (but you’re exhausted). 🫠 Yeah, this one’s for you.
We’ll talk about:
✨ What your nervous system is doing when you default to “I’m fine”
✨ Why this pattern is common for anxiously attached, people-pleasing girlies like us.
✨ How to gently shift toward safety, visibility, and actually being known
🦋 Ready for the deeper work?
🔥Click here to grab the Relationship Glow-up Guide! 🔥
💖JOIN THE HEALING GIRL GANG!💖
🔥CONFIDENCE CODE 💕
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WORK WITH ME: VIP 1:1 Session
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26:08
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26:08
How We Talked through Something Scary without Pushing Each Other Away
We’ve always agreed we didn’t want kids. But suddenly, with a hysterectomy on the table… I felt wobbly. And there was this tiny part of me whispering, “If I bring up my 'unsureness'… is everything going to change?” In my past relationships, feeling unsure or changing my mind felt like a no-go zone.
I could be decisive and confident everywhere else… (hello career overachiever with receipts) but inside my relationships, I was terrified that my truth would ruin everything. My inner perfectionist would jump straight into action: “Nothing to see here! I’m calm! I’m chill!”
Meanwhile my body was in a full panic on the inside. And the thing I learned the hard way in those old push-pull dynamics was this: the more honest I was (with him and myself), the closer we became. Pretending never protected anything 🚨NEWS FLASH🚨 it just protects our fear. So when I finally got real with Craig about how this news made me feel… how something inside of me shifted around the idea of kids now that the option might be taken away… he didn’t freak out. He didn’t it shut down. He didn’t make it weird. He listened.
He stayed with me. He held the moment instead of turning away from it. And that’s when it hit me more clearly than ever hiding never helps. It only hurts. Because the second you start censoring yourself to “keep the peace,” the peace is already gone. You can’t stay connected AND abandon yourself at the same time.
Changing your mind isn’t wrong. Feeling something new isn’t wrong. Saying it out loud is what keeps you close, to your partner and to yourself.
🦋 Ready for the deeper work?
🔥Click here to grab the Relationship Glow-up Guide! 🔥
💖JOIN THE HEALING GIRL GANG!💖
🔥CONFIDENCE CODE 💕
FOLLOW CLARE ON Instagram, TikTok or YouTube
WORK WITH ME: VIP 1:1 Session
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47:08
Why Stillness Feels Unsafe When You Have Relationship Anxiety
This week, we’re diving deep into a topic I know hits home for so many high-achieving, anxious girlies: why stillness can feel so unsafe when you have relationship anxiety.
If you ever catch yourself spiraling because the vibe feels “off,” or if a little space in communication has you convinced the whole relationship is doomed…this episode is for you.
Inside this episode, I’m sharing:
✨ Why anxious attachment makes rest and stillness feel dangerous
✨ How I learned to stop overfunctioning and start receiving love (hint: it took surgery and a lot of surrender)
✨ What my explant and fibroid journeys taught me about safety, slowing down, and trusting myself
✨ The belief I had to UNLEARN in order to feel secure in my body and my relationships
✨ Why stillness is a skill (especially if you grew up in a high-pressure, achievement-driven household)
✨ How I support Healing Girl Gang members in rewiring their nervous systems for safety and self-trust
✨ A powerful listener Q&A about breaking the cycle of anxious spiraling in a secure relationship
Whether you’re a career rockstar, business owner, or have a few letters behind your name (MD, RN, Esq, PhD…) — and yet still feel like a mess when someone doesn’t text back, you’re in the right place.
This episode isn’t about fixing you... it’s about helping you feel safe enough to finally rest, receive, and trust yourself and your partner. If you’re ready to learn how to stop self-sabotaging and start feeling safe in love, hit play.
And if you’re craving step-by-step support, come join us inside The Healing Girl Gang (where we practice these tools every single month!)
🦋 Ready for the deeper work?
🔥Click here to grab the Relationship Glow-up Guide! 🔥
💖JOIN THE HEALING GIRL GANG!💖
🔥CONFIDENCE CODE 💕
FOLLOW CLARE ON Instagram, TikTok or YouTube
WORK WITH ME: VIP 1:1 Session
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30:24
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30:24
How To Stop Over Giving And Still Feel Like A Priority
If you're constantly planning, smoothing things over, doing the most in your relationship while low-key wondering “Why can’t they just do more??” — this episode is for you.
💥 If you're a high-achieving, hyper-capable girly who’s exhausted from holding it all together in love, this is your sign to stop performing and start receiving. Period.
👀 In this episode, I break down:
• The sneaky ways anxious attachment disguises itself as “being helpful”
• Why trying to “earn love through effort” is killing your intimacy
• How overgiving actually blocks your partner from stepping up
• What it really means to feel chosen without performing
• How to stop managing your relationship like a second job
• What to do instead — so you feel prioritized and adored
🎧 We also get into:
• A client win that had me in my feels 🥹 (from overthinking queen to secure & supported)
• A peek inside what’s working inside Healing Girl Gang
• How my husband Craig reminded me (with an accent wall no less 😅) what can happen when we let go and receive
This one’s part tough love, part best friend pep talk, and all soul truth. Because you don’t need to earn love. You deserve to feel it, just as you are.
👇 JOIN THE HEALING GIRL GANG Weekly trainings, nervous system resets, and live support so you stop spiraling and start receiving: HealingGirlGang.com
🦋 Ready for the deeper work?
🔥Click here to grab the Relationship Glow-up Guide! 🔥
💖JOIN THE HEALING GIRL GANG!💖
🔥CONFIDENCE CODE 💕
FOLLOW CLARE ON Instagram, TikTok or YouTube
WORK WITH ME: VIP 1:1 Session
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21:48
How to Feel Like a Priority Without Chasing or Being Needy
In this episoe we’re talking about how to feel like a priority in your relationship... without slipping into overthinking, over‑analyzing every text, or feeling like you’re “asking for too much.”
This episode is for you if:
• You know they care about you… but you can’t always feel it
• You find yourself checking for proof or reassurance
• You are tired of being the one initiating, planning, or emotionally leading
• Your brain does wind sprints when there’s space or distance in the relationship
• You’re successful in every other area of life, but your nervous system goes ✨ feral✨ in love
Trust me, I’ve lived this. I went from anxiously attached (and chronically exhausted from managing the relationship in my head) to actually feeling chosen, safe, and prioritized in a secure partnership. And we’re unpacking exactly how that shift happens today. 💛
🌙 If you're new: I’m Clare! Relationship and attachment coach for high‑achieving women who are incredible at life… but feel wobbly in love. MDs, founders, attorneys, academics, corporate powerhouses - the girlies who “have their life together” but still spiral at the slow text response? Yep. You’re home.
Love you, mean it. x Clare 🤍
🦋 Ready for the deeper work?
🔥Click here to grab the Relationship Glow-up Guide! 🔥
💖JOIN THE HEALING GIRL GANG!💖
🔥CONFIDENCE CODE 💕
FOLLOW CLARE ON Instagram, TikTok or YouTube
WORK WITH ME: VIP 1:1 Session
Listen up Girlies!! Healing isn’t just a (hot girl) walk in the park, it’s a damn journey. The BeThatHealingGirl Podcast is all about busting old school dating myths, breaking down our childhood traumas, unlearning our bad habits and healing your way to your DREAM LIFE! Let’s keep it real and begin to heal because honestly… eff that guy not texting you back, stop worrying about being liked, it’s time to let go of anxious attachment behaviors, start getting comfortable with being vulnerable and know your damn worth! So stop wishing you were her, join the journey and BE that healing girl.