How I Accidentally Rewired My Anxious Attachment Into a Secure One
You're not needy. You're just healing! In this episode, I’m sharing how I accidentally rewired my anxious attachment into a secure one...without forcing it, faking it, or labeling myself as “crazy.”
If you’ve ever found yourself wondering:
“Why am I spiraling when everything is fine?” “Why do I panic when things finally feel safe?” …or “Why can’t I just stay calm in a good relationship?” This one’s for you, bb 🫶
👇Here’s what we’re unpacking today:
✨ Why your brain freaks out when your body finally relaxes
✨ How “self-awareness” can actually be a form of over-control
✨ Why you still feel unsafe in a healthy relationship
✨ What it really means to self-regulate vs. spiral
✨ The power of experiencing consistent love (instead of just talking about it)
✨ And how your partner’s stability can rewire your nervous system—if you let it
PLUS: real wins from the Healing Girl Gang! 💌
If you’re a high-achieving, emotionally intelligent woman who crushes it at work but crumbles inside a text bubble… this one’s for you. 🫶
Whether you’re newly dating, navigating relationship anxiety, or trying to trust your GOOD partner, this episode will give you the real talk, mindset shifts, and embodiment work you didn’t know you needed.
🦋 Ready for the deeper work?
🔥Click here to grab the Relationship Glow-up Guide! 🔥
💖JOIN THE HEALING GIRL GANG!💖
🔥CONFIDENCE CODE 💕
FOLLOW CLARE ON Instagram, TikTok or YouTube
WORK WITH ME: VIP 1:1 Session
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22:03
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22:03
How Being ‘Chill’ Can Push a Safe Partner Away (When You Have Relationship Anxiety)
Welcome back BBs! In this episode, we’re diving deep into a pattern I see all the time: acting “chill” when inside, you're spiraling. You know the drill...trying so hard to come off as the "cool-low-maintenance-unbothered-girlie" so you don’t scare a good partner away… but then end up feeling lonely, disconnected, or like they’re slipping further away anyway...
Yeah, we’re unpacking THAT.
We’re talking:
✨ Why “being chill” is often just masked FEAR
✨ How inauthenticity actually erodes intimacy
✨ What safe partners are really craving (hint: it’s not perfection) and
✨ How to stop false-signaling and start authentically expressing what’s real for YOU!
Whether you're anxiously attached, healing from abandonment, or a high-achieving, high-performing baddie who secretly (or not-so-secretly) melts down when someone doesn’t text back right away… this one’s for you.
🫶 PLUS: I’m answering a juicy Healing Girl Gang Hotline question from someone navigating a relationship blowup and trying to repair trust after spiraling. 🎧
This episode is for you if you’ve ever:
Said “I’m fine” through gritted teeth Pretended to be cool with ambiguity but were low-key obsessing
Felt like your partner didn’t get how much effort you were putting into not freaking out
Or thought, “Ugh, maybe I’m just not meant to be in a relationship” (spoiler: you are)
P.S. Inside the Healing Girl Gang community, we’re not about faking it till we make it... we’re about becoming actually unbothered from the inside out. If you're ready for deeper connection, more ease, and to stop abandoning yourself to keep someone else, you’ll love this episode!!
🦋 And If You're Ready for The Deeper Work, Checkout These Resources:
🔥Click here to grab the Relationship Glow-up Guide! 🔥
💖JOIN THE HEALING GIRL GANG!💖
🔥CONFIDENCE CODE 💕
FOLLOW CLARE ON Instagram, TikTok or YouTube
WORK WITH ME: VIP 1:1 Session
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21:21
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21:21
3 Mistakes You're Making That Make You Second Guess a Secure Relationship
If you're in a healthy relationship but your brain won't stop spiraling... this episode is going to hit home. In this week’s episode I’m breaking down the 3 mistakes that keep high-achieving, anxious girlies stuck in the cycle of second-guessing even the most loyal and consistent partner. If you’ve ever found yourself thinking: “Why can’t I just enjoy this person?” “Why am I prepping for the breakup when everything’s going fine?” “Am I making problems where there are none?” 👀 Then this is for YOU.
I’m walking you through:
✨ The "prep for the pain" loop that keeps you emotionally exhausted
✨ Why treating your relationship like a project to manage is sabotaging your joy
✨ How mistaking surveillance for loyalty drains your connection ✨ And how to finally start trusting yourself so you can receive the love right in front of you
Whether you're dating, in a long-term relationship, or navigating love after heartbreak, this episode is your permission slip to step off the spiral ride and start feeling secure for real.
🎧 Get ready to hear:
→ Why your anxiety won’t let you enjoy a secure partner
→ The real reason you keep sabotaging connection
→ How to stop overthinking and start building self-trust
This episode is especially for my anxious attachment babes, my high-functioning overthinkers, and my career girlies who crush it at work but feel like a mess in love.
This week we’re unpacking the real reason your brain confuses anxiety for intuition (and how to stop self‑sabotaging a healthy relationship!) If you’ve ever questioned your feelings, overanalyzed your partner’s every move, or convinced yourself your anxiety was a “gut feeling,” this episode is for you!
🧠 In this episode we'll be diving into:
✨ Why “the ick” is often a fear of intimacy, not intuition
✨ How anxiety shows up as false alarms in safe relationships
✨ The difference between red flags vs. self‑protection
✨ How to stop testing your partner and start trusting connection
✨ What your nervous system is actually trying to protect you from
✨ Why discomfort doesn’t mean danger—it means growth I share a personal story about how I almost lost an incredible partner because I thought my fear was “a sign.” (Spoiler: it wasn’t.) I want you to stop mistaking safety for boredom and start building the kind of secure relationship you’ve been craving!
🫶 Whether you’re newly dating, navigating relationship anxiety, or trying to trust your GOOD partner, this episode will give you the real talk, mindset shifts, and embodiment work you didn’t know you needed.
🦋 Ready for the deeper work?
🔥Click here to grab the Relationship Glow-up Guide! 🔥
💖JOIN THE HEALING GIRL GANG!💖
🔥CONFIDENCE CODE 💕
FOLLOW CLARE ON Instagram, TikTok or YouTube
WORK WITH ME: VIP 1:1 Session
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24:58
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24:58
What Happens When You Confuse Your Anxiety For Intuition
This week we’re unpacking the real reason your brain confuses anxiety for intuition (and how to stop self‑sabotaging a healthy relationship!)
If you’ve ever questioned your feelings, overanalyzed your partner’s every move, or convinced yourself your anxiety was a “gut feeling,” this episode is for you!
🧠 In this episode we'll be diving into:
✨ Why “the ick” is often a fear of intimacy, not intuition
✨ How anxiety shows up as false alarms in safe relationships
✨ The difference between red flags vs. self‑protection
✨ How to stop testing your partner and start trusting connection
✨ What your nervous system is actually trying to protect you from
✨ Why discomfort doesn’t mean danger—it means growth
I share a personal story about how I almost lost an incredible partner because I thought my fear was “a sign.” (Spoiler: it wasn’t.) I want you to stop mistaking safety for boredom and start building the kind of secure relationship you’ve been craving!
🦋 Ready for the deeper work?
🔥Click here to grab the Relationship Glow-up Guide! 🔥
💖JOIN THE HEALING GIRL GANG!💖
🔥CONFIDENCE CODE 💕
FOLLOW CLARE ON Instagram, TikTok or YouTube
WORK WITH ME: VIP 1:1 Session
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28:13
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28:13
Why You Keep Mistaking Anxiety for Intuition in Your Relationship
In this episode we’re unpacking one of the most confusing (and exhausting) dynamics in anxious relationships ➡️ Anxiety vs. Intuition. And why your nervous system can't tell the difference.... yet.
We’ll dive into:
✨ The #1 way to know it’s anxiety (not intuition)
✨ How urgency, reactivity & spiraling feel like instinct - but aren’t
✨ Why you're addicted to checking the “emotional alarm system”
✨ What happens when your gut is actually trauma memory
✨ How to disable the internal alarm so you stop mistaking fear for truth
✨ What it actually feels like when your intuition is speaking
PLUS: 🥲 A healing win from a client who went from toxic love + cancer treatment → to remission, emotional regulation, and finally letting love in 💅 🛏 My unhinged side quest to find the world’s best sheets (self-regulation starts in the bedroom, babes) 📲 Real talk Q&A from inside The Healing Girl Gang: “Is it weird he only calls at night?”
🦋 Ready for the deeper work?
🔥Click here to grab the Relationship Glow-up Guide! 🔥
💖JOIN THE HEALING GIRL GANG!💖
🔥CONFIDENCE CODE 💕
FOLLOW CLARE ON Instagram, TikTok or YouTube
WORK WITH ME: VIP 1:1 Session
Listen up Girlies!! Healing isn’t just a (hot girl) walk in the park, it’s a damn journey. The BeThatHealingGirl Podcast is all about busting old school dating myths, breaking down our childhood traumas, unlearning our bad habits and healing your way to your DREAM LIFE! Let’s keep it real and begin to heal because honestly… eff that guy not texting you back, stop worrying about being liked, it’s time to let go of anxious attachment behaviors, start getting comfortable with being vulnerable and know your damn worth! So stop wishing you were her, join the journey and BE that healing girl.