BeThatHealingGirl Podcast

“If he wanted to he would” doesn’t create clarity it creates pressure, testing, and a constant feeling of “am I being chosen enough?”

And that’s where the spiral starts.

In this episode, we break down:

💭 Why “if he wanted to he would” fuels overthinking and relationship anxiety

🧠 How this mindset turns you into a silent tester instead of a communicator

🔥 The subtle ways it makes you pull back, overanalyze, or keep score

🪞 Why it feels empowering… but actually disconnects you from your partner

❤️ What secure love actually looks like instead (hint: it’s not mind reading)

Real talk moment:

This belief creates a relationship where:

you don’t ask for what you want

you expect them to “just know”

and you quietly decide what things mean about how much they care

And then you end up feeling disappointed…

even when nothing is technically wrong.

Because you’re measuring love based on unspoken rules.

This episode is for you if:

✨ You keep thinking “if they cared, they would just do it”

✨ You struggle to ask for what you want without feeling needy

✨ You find yourself testing instead of communicating

✨ You overanalyze effort, timing, or small actions

✨ You want to feel secure… but keep spiraling instead

🔥Click here to grab the Relationship Glow-up Guide! 🔥 

💖JOIN THE HEALING GIRL GANG!💖

🔥CONFIDENCE CODE 💕

FOLLOW CLARE ON Instagram, TikTok or YouTube

WORK WITH ME: VIP 1:1 Session

Have you ever pulled back just to see if they notice? Waited to text… to see if they text first? Stayed quiet about what you wanted… just to see if they remembered?

Yeah. That counts as testing.

And if you’re doing this (even subtly) it might be the exact reason your relationship feels exhausting, unstable, or emotionally unsafe… even when your partner is actually showing up for you.

In this episode, we’re unpacking one of the most common anxious attachment patterns: testing your partner to prove they care.

Because here’s the hard truth:

They can’t pass a test they don’t know they’re taking.

And the more you test…

the less safe the relationship actually feels - for both of you.

In this episode, we talk about:

💭 Why pulling back to “see what they do” creates distance instead of closeness

🧠 The anxious attachment pattern behind relationship testing

🔥 Why testing your partner is actually a form of control — not connection

🪞 The hidden reason testing feels necessary (even when your partner is good)

❤️ Why engineered love never feels as safe as natural love

🌱 How to shift from testing → trusting in your relationship

And yes, we talk about the very real moment where you don’t say what you want…

just to see if they remember.

(Hi, Costco sushi test. Been there 😅)

Because constantly watching, analyzing, and waiting to see what they do… is emotionally exhausting.

And honestly? No one wants to feel like they’re in a relationship performance review.

This episode is for you if:

✨ You pull back to see if they’ll chase you

✨ You test to see if they remember what you want

✨ You feel anxious unless they prove they care

✨ You feel like you’re doing all the emotional work

✨ You struggle to trust even when they show up

Because secure relationships don’t grow through testing.

They grow through communication.

And through trusting that love can show up naturally...without being forced.

🔥Click here to grab the Relationship Glow-up Guide! 🔥 

💖JOIN THE HEALING GIRL GANG!💖

🔥CONFIDENCE CODE 💕

FOLLOW CLARE ON Instagram, TikTok or YouTube

WORK WITH ME: VIP 1:1 Session

We're talking about the loop today. The one where you keep checking: "Are we good?" "Do you still like me?" "Is everything okay?" And even when they reassure you… it doesn’t stick.

In this episode, we talk about:

💭 Why reassurance feels good… but never lasts

🧠 The sneaky way reassurance becomes emotionally addictive

🔥 How constantly checking breaks trust with yourself

🪞 Why asking “Are we okay?” actually creates more pressure

❤️ The difference between performing healing vs practicing healing 🌱 The one thing I changed that helped me stop chasing reassurance

And yes, we talk about that very real anxious girl moment where: You know you're strong. You know you're capable. You know you're successful. But inside? You're spiraling over a vibe shift and analyzing tone like it's your full-time job. 

🔥Click here to grab the Relationship Glow-up Guide! 🔥 

💖JOIN THE HEALING GIRL GANG!💖

🔥CONFIDENCE CODE 💕

FOLLOW CLARE ON Instagram, TikTok or YouTube

WORK WITH ME: VIP 1:1 Session

You know they’re a good partner.

They text back.

They show up.

They follow through.

 

And yet…

you’re still spiraling. 😅

 

You’re analyzing tone.

Second-guessing everything.

White-knuckling your way through a relationship that is actually safe.

 

And if you’ve ever thought:

“Why can’t I just relax when nothing is technically wrong?”

 

This episode is for you!

 

Because here’s the hard truth: sometimes the very thing you’re doing to not mess it up… is the thing quietly creating pressure in the relationship.

Yep. We’re going there.

In this episode, we talk about:

💭 Why you still feel anxious (even when your partner is consistent and safe)

🧠 The sneaky habit that actually makes anxious triggers worse

🔥 Why telling yourself “don’t worry” makes the spiral stronger

🪞 How trying to be the cool, chill girlfriend creates more tension (relatable, I know 😅)

❤️ Why you can’t think your way into feeling secure

🌱 How letting go of perfection opens the door to real connection

 

And yes — we talk about the classic anxious girl move:

trying SO hard to get it right… that you accidentally make it weird.

Been there. Done that. Bought the emotional support iced coffee.

 

💌 Ready for deeper support? Inside Healing Girl Gang, we practice the tools and reps that move you from anxious attachment → secure connection.

🔥Click here to grab the Relationship Glow-up Guide! 🔥 

💖JOIN THE HEALING GIRL GANG!💖

🔥CONFIDENCE CODE 💕

FOLLOW CLARE ON Instagram, TikTok or YouTube

WORK WITH ME: VIP 1:1 Session

3 Things I Did to Face My Biggest Relationship Anxiety Triggers (That Most People Skip)

If you’ve ever felt terrified that they might leave…

If a delayed text ruins your whole day…

If you logically know it’s not that big of a deal, but emotionally you feel completely hijacked…

This episode is for you. 🫶

Because here’s the truth, being aware of your triggers doesn’t mean you know how to face them.

In this episode, I’m sharing something deeply personal, the three things I did to face one of my biggest attachment triggers: reconnecting with my dad after 11 years of no contact. And what I learned in that experience completely changed the way I understand anxious attachment and emotional healing.

This isn’t just theory.

This is what it actually looks like to sit with discomfort instead of running from it… to stop rehearsing conversations… and to show up open, present, and willing to feel.

In this episode, we talk about:

💭 Why anxious attachment is actually a form of avoiding your own feelings

🧠 The hidden ways you rehearse, control, and overthink to avoid discomfort

❤️ Why most people skip the exact steps that create real intimacy

🪞 The connection between childhood attachment wounds and adult relationship triggers

🌱 The three things I did differently that created healing instead of more anxiety

✨ How facing your triggers (not avoiding them) is where real connection happens

If you’re the strong one…

The high-achiever…

The one who can handle everything, except the moment your relationship feels uncertain…

You are not broken.

You’re patterned.

And patterns can change.

This episode will help you understand why your triggers feel so intense and how to move toward connection instead of fear.

Because healing anxious attachment isn’t about controlling the outcome…

It’s about showing up open, even when it feels terrifying.

💌 Ready for deeper support? Inside Healing Girl Gang, we practice the tools and reps that move you from anxious attachment → secure connection.

🔥Click here to grab the Relationship Glow-up Guide! 🔥 

💖JOIN THE HEALING GIRL GANG!💖

🔥CONFIDENCE CODE 💕

FOLLOW CLARE ON Instagram, TikTok or YouTube

WORK WITH ME: VIP 1:1 Session