What Fresh Hell: Laughing in the Face of Motherhood | Parenting Tips From Funny Moms

How do you get kids to help out—ever, at all—without default resistance that makes it feel like it's not worth the trouble of your having asked?

Kids *should* contribute to their families' lives without their parents resorting to nagging or threats. Kids in other cultures, we are told, participate willingly and fully. Why does this seem so hard for so many of us?

We discuss:

Whether "chores" framing is part of the problem

How gender roles shape the expectations of who's helping

Whether they have to like participating for it to matter

Why we seem to find this harder than our parents did

Here are links to some of the resources mentioned in the episode:

Susan Newman for Psychology Today: Raising Baby Hunter-Gatherer Style

Jennifer Katzenstein for Johns Hopkins Medicine Wellness and Prevention blog: How to Get Your Kids to Do Chores

Reem Raouda for CNBC Make It: I’ve studied over 200 kids—parents who have an easy time getting their children to listen never use these 5 ‘toxic’ phrases

Amy Sutherland for the NYT: What Shamu Taught Me About a Healthy Marriage

Frank Bruni for the NYT: Tolstoy and Miss Daisy

Deborah Gilboa: GET THE BEHAVIOR YOU WANT...WITHOUT BEING THE PARENT YOU HATE!

Our Fresh Take with Michaeleen Doucleff, author of HUNT, GATHER, PARENT

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What Fresh Hell is co-hosted by Amy Wilson and Margaret Ables.

We love the sponsors that make this show possible! You can always find all the special deals and codes for all our current sponsors on our website:

⁠⁠⁠https://www.whatfreshhellpodcast.com/p/promo-codes/
Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

This Deep Dive series revisits some of our past episodes about the joys and the challenges that come with raising kids with differences and disabilities.

What if we're looking at autism in the wrong way? Dr. Lynn Koegel, co-author of ⁠Hidden Brilliance: Unlocking the Intelligence of Autism⁠, explains how to engage with the strengths in kids with autism rather than focusing on what they're lacking.

⁠Dr. Lynn Koegel⁠ is a clinical professor at the Stanford School of Medicine. She and her husband developed Pivotal Response Treatment which focuses on motivation. She has been supporting autistic individuals for more than 40 years.

Dr. Koegel and Margaret discuss:

Why we're focusing on the wrong things when we assess kids with autism

The power of peer support

Connecting authentically with kids with autism

Dr. Koegel explains that professionals are often trained to look at what's "wrong" with children with autism rather than what's right. It helps to look at the differences in children with autism, as Margaret likes to say, as morally neutral.

Here's where you can find Lynn:

⁠autismPRThelp.com⁠

⁠@lynn.koegel on Facebook⁠

⁠hidden-brilliance.org⁠

What Fresh Hell is co-hosted by Amy Wilson and Margaret Ables.

We love the sponsors that make this show possible! You can always find all the special deals and codes for all our current sponsors on our website:

⁠https://www.whatfreshhellpodcast.com/p/promo-codes/
Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Are women really better at all the things we do? Or are we just used to doing more?

Amy talks with sociologist and author Leah Ruppanner, author of the new book DRAINED, about her definition of the "mental load" and why so many women feel constantly overwhelmed.

Leah defines the mental load as much more than keeping track of tasks. It’s deeply emotional work tied to caring for others, anticipating needs, and managing relationships.

In this interview Leah breaks down the different types of mental load, from organizing daily life to providing emotional support, maintaining relationships, creating special moments for families, and supporting everyone else’s goals. While many partners contribute in visible ways, much of this broader, invisible work still falls to women.

Leah also shares a practical framework for evaluating your mental load: understanding where your energy is going, who you’re carrying, and what you can delegate, drop, or rebalance. When reducing the load isn’t possible, rest and recovery become essential. Think of yourself as the family MVP.

This episode is a reminder that the mental load is real, complex, and worth examining—and that making it visible is the first step toward meaningful change.

Here's where you can find Leah:

@prof.leahruppanner on Instagram, TikTok

The Miss Perceived Podcast

https://www.leahruppanner.com

Buy DRAINED: https://bookshop.org/a/12099/9780593850909

What Fresh Hell is co-hosted by Amy Wilson and Margaret Ables.

We love the sponsors that make this show possible! You can always find all the special deals and codes for all our current sponsors on our website:

⁠https://www.whatfreshhellpodcast.com/p/promo-codes/
Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

What is emotional intelligence, exactly? Is it the yin to IQ's yang? Is it equally crucial to our success and well-being?

In this episode we talk about what EQ (or EI, depending on who you're asking) actually means, why it matters, and whether it can be taught to both adults and kids.

We discuss:

The four core components of emotional intelligence: self-awareness, self-management, social awareness, and relationship skills (plus what's been taken off the list)

Why emotional intelligence is morally neutral

Why neurodivergent kids may experience emotional intelligence differently

Practical ways to help kids build emotional intelligence

Here are links to some of the resources mentioned in the episode:

Suzanne Ross for The Explainer: What is emotional intelligence and why do you need it?

Crystal Ott for Ohio University Extension: What is Emotional Intelligence?

Daniel Goleman on LinkedIn: The Four Domains of Emotional Intelligence

Adam Grant for Medium: The Dark Side of Emotional Intelligence

Peg Rosen for Understood.org: Emotional intelligence: What it means for kids

Brigham Young University: Study visually captures hard truth: Walking home at night is not the same for women

University of Cambridge Judge Business School: The psychologist who reminds us that emotions affect our working lives

Find all of our guests' books, as well as books we personally recommend: https://bookshop.org/shop/whatfreshhellcast

What Fresh Hell is co-hosted by Amy Wilson and Margaret Ables.

We love the sponsors that make this show possible! You can always find all the special deals and codes for all our current sponsors on our website:

⁠⁠⁠https://www.whatfreshhellpodcast.com/p/promo-codes/
Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

This Deep Dive series revisits some of our past episodes about the joys and the challenges that come with raising kids with differences and disabilities.

Kate Swenson writes and creates videos about her life as a mother of four and and an autism advocate for ⁠"Finding Cooper's Voice⁠," a living, thriving community of people who not only advocate for autism, but also make the world a better place for individuals with disabilities and their families.

We discuss Kate's book ⁠Forever Boy: A Mother's Memoir of Autism and Finding Joy⁠ and her nonprofit ⁠The More Than Project, ⁠which supports the needs of special needs families that go beyond the needs of their special needs child.

Kate tells us about:

Kate's journey to finding the correct diagnosis for her child

what led her to put her story out into the world

the sometimes-loneliness of special needs parenting, and how the Finding Cooper's Voice community offers insight, support, and fellowship

Get FOREVER BOY in our Bookshop store: https://bookshop.org/a/12099/9780778311997

and follow @findingcoopersvoice on Facebook and Instagram.

What Fresh Hell is co-hosted by Amy Wilson and Margaret Ables.

We love the sponsors that make this show possible! You can always find all the special deals and codes for all our current sponsors on our website:

⁠⁠⁠https://www.whatfreshhellpodcast.com/p/promo-codes/
Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices