THE AUTISM ADHD PODCAST

People Pleasing Is Dangerous for Autistic & ADHD Kids: What Parents and Therapists Need to Know
People pleasing is often labeled as being kind, flexible, or mature.
But for autistic and ADHD children and teens, people pleasing is often something else entirely.
It's a self-protective survival strategy—one rooted in fear of rejection, emotional pain, and the belief that their needs are "too much."
In this episode of The Autism ADHD Podcast, I talk about why people pleasing is especially risky for neurodivergent kids and teens, how it develops, and the early warning signs adults often miss.
I also share a very real moment from my own life—standing in a grocery store with no water at home, right before a major ice storm—and how that moment revealed just how powerful (and dangerous) people pleasing can be, even after a year of hard work.
This episode is for parents, therapists, and educators who want to support autistic and ADHD children and teens in building safety, boundaries, and self-trust—without pushing them into burnout.
In this episode, I cover:
What people pleasing really looks like in autistic and ADHD children and teens
Why people-pleasing is closely connected to masking and emotional safety
Early warning signs, including over-apologizing and difficulty saying no
How people pleasing is often unintentionally reinforced by adults and peers
Why people pleasing increases burnout, anxiety, and vulnerability in relationships
How supporting capacity and boundaries can reduce meltdowns and shutdowns
If you've ever worried that teaching boundaries might make a child "too rigid" or "selfish," this episode offers a compassionate, neurodiversity-affirming reframe.
🎧 Listen now and share with another parent, therapist, or educator supporting autistic and ADHD kids and teens.
🥁🥁🥁🥁 MORE Great information for you! 
The 135 School Accommodations for Autistic & ADHD Students Guide is now available, including three detailed cases with accommodations for ONLY $27.95
What's Inside:
📚 Academic Supports (45 accommodations)
From pre-teaching strategies to assistive technology, the tools students need to access the curriculum without barriers
🎨 Sensory & Environmental Supports (22 accommodations)
Create a learning environment where your child can focus, regulate, and engage—not just survive
🧠 Executive Functioning & Self-Advocacy (24 accommodations)
Build the skills that will serve them for life—organization, time management, and speaking up for their needs
🤝 Social Supports (21 accommodations)
Turn recess and group work from nightmare to opportunity with structured, supportive approaches
💚 Mental Health & Emotional Regulation (23 accommodations)
Because learning can't happen when a child is overwhelmed, anxious, or in crisis
Plus:
✅ An example of each accommodation
✅ 3 detailed cases along with accommodations
✅ Tips on how to identify areas of need
✅ Free helpful education resources
Don't miss this opportunity to access 135 neurodiversity-affirming accommodations for only $27.95
➡️ Parents click here
➡️ Therapists click here
➡️ Educators click here
Thank you for your advocacy!
After you get your guide, you can also access these free resources below:) ⬇️
🌟 Get your FREE "Get To Know My Child Snapshot"
Parents click here, Therapists click here, Educators click here
⭐️ Hey Therapists! Come on over for NEURODIVERSITY-AFFIRMING CONTINUING EDUCATION 
Enhance your therapeutic approach with our affirming and engaging trainings while earning CE credits to fulfill your professional development requirements, as our courses are approved by the NBCC.
Therapists click here
⭐️ Welcome to our PARENT MASTERCLASSES WITH Q&A 
Each live class is packed with supportive strategies on the topics parents want most. Can't make it live? No worries, because you'll get the replay. Sign up to be the first to know when the next masterclass is scheduled.
Parents, click here for your masterclasses 
❤️ You're invited to my FACEBOOK GROUPS. Can't wait to see you there:) 
Parents, come on over and join the Autism ADHD Facebook Group for Parents
Therapists & educators, join the Facebook Group for professionals 
Subscribe, Support & Share
📱 Follow: @theautismadhdpodcast on Instagram and Facebook
📺 Come on over to YouTube and check out Autism ADHD TV with Holly
Please leave a review! Your 5-star reviews help other families and professionals find The Autism ADHD Podcast. Thank you:)
About Holly Blanc Moses
Holly Blanc Moses is a neurodivergent psychologist, speaker, consultant, continuing education provider, and host of The Autism ADHD Podcast, Autism ADHD TV, and parent masterclasses.

We use the word friend all the time—at school, at home, on the playground. "Line up, friends." "We don't hit our friends." "That's my friend from work." It sounds warm and inclusive, and it's almost always said with good intentions.
But for many autistic and ADHD children, language is taken literally. When we tell them everyone is their friend, they believe us. And then they expect those people to act like friends—to include them, play with them, and treat them kindly. When that doesn't happen, the confusion can turn into hurt, self-blame, anxiety, and even depression.
In this episode, I break down why overusing the word friend can be especially harmful for neurodivergent children—and how it can unintentionally teach them to ignore their own experiences or accept mistreatment. I share real-life examples from classrooms, playgrounds, and therapy spaces, including what happens when a child asks, "Are you my friend?" and the answer doesn't match the actions.
We'll talk about:
*Why autistic and ADHD children often take friendship language literally
*How some children are bullied through "pretend friendship."
*Why teaching actions of a friend is more helpful than using labels
*How to help children notice when friendship behaviors change and know who to go to for help
*A simple visual circles model that teaches self-friendship, boundaries, and different levels of connection
*Why we need to be cautious with questions like "Who's your best friend?"
*How society's message that "more friends = more value" can deeply harm neurodivergent kids
*And why being a good friend to yourself is just as important as having friends around you
I also share examples from my own adult friendships to show that real friendship doesn't look one way—and that closeness, frequency, and intensity can all vary and still be meaningful.
If you're a parent, educator, or mental health professional supporting autistic or ADHD children, this episode offers a compassionate reframe and practical language shifts that can reduce confusion, protect emotional safety, and support healthier relationships.
Because being precise with our language doesn't make kids less kind—it makes them safer. And safety is where real connection begins.
🎧 If you find this episode helpful, please consider sharing it with a parent, therapist or teacher, and leaving a 5-star review so more people can find the podcast. The more people we can reach, the more neurodivergent children we can help:) 
🥁🥁🥁🥁 MORE Great information for you! 
The 135 School Accommodations for Autistic & ADHD Students Guide is now available, including three detailed cases with accommodations for ONLY $27.95
What's Inside:
📚 Academic Supports (45 accommodations)
From pre-teaching strategies to assistive technology, the tools students need to access the curriculum without barriers
🎨 Sensory & Environmental Supports (22 accommodations)
Create a learning environment where your child can focus, regulate, and engage—not just survive
🧠 Executive Functioning & Self-Advocacy (24 accommodations)
Build the skills that will serve them for life—organization, time management, and speaking up for their needs
🤝 Social Supports (21 accommodations)
Turn recess and group work from nightmare to opportunity with structured, supportive approaches
💚 Mental Health & Emotional Regulation (23 accommodations)
Because learning can't happen when a child is overwhelmed, anxious, or in crisis
Plus:
✅ An example of each accommodation
✅ 3 detailed cases along with accommodations
✅ Tips on how to identify areas of need
✅ Free helpful education resources
Don't miss this opportunity to access 135 neurodiversity-affirming accommodations for only $27.95
➡️ Parents click here
➡️ Therapists click here
➡️ Educators click here
Thank you for your advocacy!
After you get your guide, you can also access these free resources below:) ⬇️
🌟 Get your FREE "Get To Know My Child Snapshot"
Parents click here, Therapists click here, Educators click here
⭐️ Hey Therapists! Come on over for NEURODIVERSITY-AFFIRMING CONTINUING EDUCATION 
Enhance your therapeutic approach with our affirming and engaging trainings while earning CE credits to fulfill your professional development requirements, as our courses are approved by the NBCC.
Therapists click here
⭐️ Welcome to our PARENT MASTERCLASSES WITH Q&A 
Each live class is packed with supportive strategies on the topics parents want most. Can't make it live? No worries, because you'll get the replay. Sign up to be the first to know when the next masterclass is scheduled.
Parents, click here for your masterclasses 
❤️ You're invited to my FACEBOOK GROUPS. Can't wait to see you there:) 
Parents, come on over and join the Autism ADHD Facebook Group for Parents
Therapists & educators, join the Facebook Group for professionals 
Subscribe, Support & Share
📱 Follow: @theautismadhdpodcast on Instagram and Facebook
📺 Come on over to YouTube and check out Autism ADHD TV with Holly
Please leave a review! Your 5-star reviews help other families and professionals find The Autism ADHD Podcast.
About Holly Blanc Moses
Holly Blanc Moses is a neurodivergent psychologist, speaker, consultant, continuing education provider, and host of The Autism ADHD Podcast, Autism ADHD TV, and parent masterclasses.

"Bossy." "Rude." "Demanding." "Has an attitude."
If your autistic or ADHD child keeps getting these labels from teachers, family members, other parents or even yourself - this episode is for you.
As an AuDHD psychologist, I see this pattern and how it silences the voices of neurodivergent children. destroying children's voices every single day.
In this episode, I'll show you:
What's REALLY happening when your neurodivergent child speaks directly
Why YOUR nervous system reacts so strongly to their tone (and why that matters)
The devastating long-term impact of constantly correcting tone
The 4-Step approach that changes everything (with real examples you can use TODAY)
How to repair when you get it wrong
This isn't about letting kids "be rude." It's about understanding the difference between directness and disrespect - and protecting your child's ability to advocate for themselves.
I'm excited to share this episode with you and share about an incredible workshop - "A Better 2026: A Gentle Reset for Overwhelmed Parents of Neurodivergent Children." 
If you are ready to learn how to make 2026 lighter, you'll want to register right away! Can't wait to see you there:) 
PARENTS CLICK HERE 
🥁🥁🥁🥁 MORE Great information for you! 
The 135 School Accommodations for Autistic & ADHD Students Guide is now available, including three detailed cases with accommodations for ONLY $27.95
What's Inside:
📚 Academic Supports (45 accommodations)
From pre-teaching strategies to assistive technology, the tools students need to access the curriculum without barriers
🎨 Sensory & Environmental Supports (22 accommodations)
Create a learning environment where your child can focus, regulate, and engage—not just survive
🧠 Executive Functioning & Self-Advocacy (24 accommodations)
Build the skills that will serve them for life—organization, time management, and speaking up for their needs
🤝 Social Supports (21 accommodations)
Turn recess and group work from nightmare to opportunity with structured, supportive approaches
💚 Mental Health & Emotional Regulation (23 accommodations)
Because learning can't happen when a child is overwhelmed, anxious, or in crisis
Plus:
✅ An example of each accommodation
✅ 3 detailed cases along with accommodations
✅ Tips on how to identify areas of need
✅ Free helpful education resources
Don't miss this opportunity to access 135 neurodiversity-affirming accommodations for only $27.95
➡️ Parents click here
➡️ Therapists click here
➡️ Educators click here
You are going to LOVE this guide!
Thank you for your advocacy!
⭐️ Hey Therapists! Come on over for NEURODIVERSITY-AFFIRMING CONTINUING EDUCATION 
Enhance your therapeutic approach with our affirming and engaging trainings while earning continuing education credits to fulfill your professional development requirements, as our courses are approved by the NBCC.
Therapists click here
Subscribe, Support & Share
📱 Follow: @theautismadhdpodcast on Instagram and Facebook
📺 Come on over to YouTube and check out Autism ADHD TV with Holly
Please leave a review! Your 5-star reviews help other families and professionals find The Autism ADHD Podcast.
About Holly Blanc Moses
Holly Blanc Moses is a neurodivergent psychologist, speaker, consultant, continuing education provider, and host of The Autism ADHD Podcast, Autism ADHD TV, and parent masterclasses.

https://www.youtube.com/@autismadhdtvwithhollySensory experiences shape how neurodivergent kids feel, think, and show up in the world — and when those experiences are overwhelming, confusing, or dismissed, the emotional toll can be enormous.
In today's rebroadcast, Holly Blanc Moses (AuDHD therapist, evaluator, and mom) gets deeply personal, sharing powerful stories from her own childhood and adulthood that reveal what sensory differences really feel like from the inside. From the "sock struggle" to being pushed into a pool, to finally standing under a waterfall at 50 years old—Holly opens the door to understanding sensory experiences in a way that is validating, compassionate, and unforgettable.
Whether you're a parent, therapist, or educator, this episode will help you see big reactions, meltdowns, refusals, or "sensitivities" through an entirely new lens:
✨ One rooted in sensory distress, not misbehavior.
✨ One grounded in emotional safety, not compliance.
✨ One that teaches us to believe kids—even when we don't fully understand.
Because when we understand sensory needs, we understand the child.
In This Episode, You'll Learn:
What sensory overload actually feels like for many autistic and ADHD individuals
Why sensory distress often leads to emotional dysregulation or meltdowns
How invalidation ("You're being dramatic") impacts long-term emotional wellbeing
Why believing kids' sensory experiences improves trust, attachment, and regulation
Holly's personal sensory stories (you may see your child or client in them!)
Who This Episode Is For:
✔ Parents of autistic & ADHD children
✔ Mental health therapists
✔ Educators, school staff, and support professionals
✔ Anyone who wants to better understand sensory differences and emotional regulation
If you've ever wondered, "Why does this tiny thing create such a big reaction?" — this episode will give you the clarity and compassion you've been searching for.
🥁🥁🥁🥁 MORE Great information for you! 
The 135 School Accommodations for Autistic & ADHD Students Guide is now available, including three detailed cases with accommodations for ONLY $27.95
What's Inside:
📚 Academic Supports (45 accommodations)
From pre-teaching strategies to assistive technology, the tools students need to access the curriculum without barriers
🎨 Sensory & Environmental Supports (22 accommodations)
Create a learning environment where your child can focus, regulate, and engage—not just survive
🧠 Executive Functioning & Self-Advocacy (24 accommodations)
Build the skills that will serve them for life—organization, time management, and speaking up for their needs
🤝 Social Supports (21 accommodations)
Turn recess and group work from nightmare to opportunity with structured, supportive approaches
💚 Mental Health & Emotional Regulation (23 accommodations)
Because learning can't happen when a child is overwhelmed, anxious, or in crisis
Plus:
✅ An example of each accommodation
✅ 3 detailed cases along with accommodations
✅ Tips on how to identify areas of need
✅ Free helpful education resources
Don't miss this opportunity to access 135 neurodiversity-affirming accommodations for only $27.95
➡️ Parents click here
➡️ Therapists click here
➡️ Educators click here
You are going to LOVE this guide!
Thank you for your advocacy!
After you get your guide, you can also access these free resources below:) ⬇️
🌟 Get your FREE "Get To Know My Child Snapshot"
Parents click here, Therapists click here, Educators click here
⭐️ Hey Therapists! Come on over for NEURODIVERSITY-AFFIRMING CONTINUING EDUCATION 
Enhance your therapeutic approach with our affirming and engaging trainings while earning CE credits to fulfill your professional development requirements, as our courses are approved by the NBCC.
Therapists click here
⭐️ Welcome to our PARENT MASTERCLASSES WITH Q&A 
Each live class is packed with supportive strategies on the topics parents want most. Can't make it live? No worries, because you'll get the replay. Sign up to be the first to know when the next masterclass is scheduled.
Parents, click here for your masterclasses 
❤️ You're invited to my FACEBOOK GROUPS. Can't wait to see you there:) 
Parents, come on over and join the Autism ADHD Facebook Group for Parents
Therapists & educators, join the Facebook Group for professionals 
Subscribe, Support & Share
📱 Follow: @theautismadhdpodcast on Instagram and Facebook
📺 Come on over to YouTube and check out Autism ADHD TV with Holly
Please leave a review! Your 5-star reviews help other families and professionals find The Autism ADHD Podcast.
About Holly Blanc Moses
Holly Blanc Moses is a neurodivergent psychologist, speaker, consultant, continuing education provider, and host of The Autism ADHD Podcast, Autism ADHD TV, and parent masterclasses.

In this episode of The Autism ADHD Podcast, host Holly Blanc Moses welcomes Shelly Robinson, a Certified Conscious parenting coach and founder of Raising Yourself.
You don't want to miss this episode! Parents, therapists, and educators are going to LOVE this episode. Holly and Shelly cover 5 signs of emotionally safe parents, why this way of parenting is the best for both the child and the parent and how to work on becoming a safer parent. They dive into crucial topics like allowing kids to disagree respectfully, not taking their behavior personally, and the importance of self-care for parents. They emphasize the value of genuine apologies, collaborative problem-solving, and authentic connection with neurodivergent children. Holly and Shelly also share personal stories and practical strategies for breaking the cycle of hierarchical parenting. The episode aims to help parents and professionals with tools to support neurodivergent kids and create emotionally safe and connected homes.
🥁🥁🥁🥁 MORE Great information for you! 
The 135 School Accommodations for Autistic & ADHD Students Guide is now available, including three detailed cases with accommendations for ONLY $27.95
What's Inside:
📚 Academic Supports (45 accommodations)
From pre-teaching strategies to assistive technology, the tools students need to access the curriculum without barriers
🎨 Sensory & Environmental Supports (22 accommodations)
Create a learning environment where your child can focus, regulate, and engage—not just survive
🧠 Executive Functioning & Self-Advocacy (24 accommodations)
Build the skills that will serve them for life—organization, time management, and speaking up for their needs
🤝 Social Supports (21 accommodations)
Turn recess and group work from nightmare to opportunity with structured, supportive approaches
💚 Mental Health & Emotional Regulation (23 accommodations)
Because learning can't happen when a child is overwhelmed, anxious, or in crisis
Plus:
✅ An example of each accommodation
✅ 3 detailed cases along with accomodations
✅ Tips on how to identify areas of need
✅ Free helpful education resources
Don't miss this opportunity to access 135 neurodiversity-affirming accommodations for only $27.95
➡️ Parents click here
➡️ Therapists click here
➡️ Educators click here
You are going to LOVE this guide!
Thank you for your advocacy!
After you get your guide, you can also access these free resources below:) ⬇️
🌟 Get your FREE "Get To Know My Child Snapshot"
Parents click here
Therapists click here
Educators click here
⭐️ Hey Therapists! Come on over for NEURODIVERSITY-AFFIRMING CONTINUING EDUCATION 
Enhance your therapeutic approach with our affirming and engaging trainings while earning CE credits to fulfill your professional development requirements, as our courses are approved by the NBCC.
Therapists click here
⭐️ Welcome to our PARENT MASTERCLASSES WITH Q&A 
Each live class is packed with supportive strategies on the topics parents want most. Can't make it live? No worries, because you'll get the replay. Sign up to be the first to know when the next masterclass is scheduled.
Parents, click here for your masterclasses 
❤️ You're invited to my FACEBOOK GROUPS. Can't wait to see you there:) 
Parents, come on over and join the Autism ADHD Facebook Group for Parents
Therapists & educators, join the Facebook Group for professionals 
Subscribe, Support & Share
📱 Follow: @theautismadhdpodcast on Instagram and Facebook
📺 Come on over to YouTube and check out Autism ADHD TV with Holly
 Please leave a review! Your 5-star reviews help other families and professionals find The Autism ADHD Podcast.
About Holly Blanc Moses
Holly Blanc Moses is a neurodivergent psychologist, speaker, consultant, continuing education provider and host of The Autism ADHD Podcast, Autism ADHD TV and parent masterclasses.
Make sure to check out Shelly Robinson's amazing resources!