Get Your Marriage On! with Dan Purcell

This episode is a special one—episode 300.
That feels really meaningful to me. I'm grateful you listen, share the podcast, and care enough about your marriage to keep showing up for these conversations. I really do celebrate you and your commitment to building a strong, intimate, passionate marriage.
For this milestone episode, I wanted to do something a little different.
So I turned it into a personal research project around a question I've been pondering for a long time:
👉 What's the difference between having sex… and making love?
In this episode (Part 1), I reached out to trusted experts and mentors to hear their perspective—and what they shared genuinely changed how I think about intimacy in marriage.
You'll hear from:
Dr. Jennifer Finlayson-Fife on desire, freedom, and why we lose "aliveness" in long-term relationships
Dr. Chelom Leavitt on emotional connection as the strongest predictor of sexual satisfaction
Adam & Karissa King on moving from transactional sex to truly knowing and being known
This isn't just about sex.
It's about:
Meaning
Connection
Desire
And the kind of intimacy that makes a marriage feel alive again
Don't miss Part 2 (Episode 301), where we continue this conversation with three more voices and perspectives.
More about our guests:

Dr. Jennifer Finlayson-Fife is the author of a book, That We Might Have Joy, she offers amazing online courses, and has an exciting in-person events coming up this summer. 
Dr. Chelom Leavitt is a world-renowned sex researcher and has many helpful resources on her website about mindfulness in sexuality, relationships, teaching kids about sex, and more.
Adam and Karissa King, better known online by the brand Dear Young Married Couple, teach courses, host a podcast, and provide many resources, especially for newly married couples. They are also in the process of releasing a new book.
 
Resources and Events:
We invite you to explore our Get Your Marriage On coaching program. Get ready for our men's and women's groups starting up again in May!
 
Disclaimer: The opinions and values expressed by guests on the Get Your Marriage On! podcast are their own and do not necessarily reflect the opinions and values of the host. Appearance on the podcast does not imply an endorsement of the guest or their products by Get Your Marriage On or its host. While we work hard to bring you quality and valuable content, listeners are encouraged to use their own best judgment in applying the information or products discussed on this podcast.

In this episode, I respond to a vulnerable question from a wife navigating desire differences, purity culture, and a husband who seems to always want more—more novelty, more frequency, more intensity.
If you've ever felt like:
You're not "enough" sexually

Your spouse is never satisfied

Sex has become a source of pressure instead of connection

…this episode is for you.
We'll talk about:
The three core drivers of sexual desire

Why anxiety can increase desire in one spouse and decrease it in the other

The "try-sexual" dynamic 

How ego can quietly sabotage intimacy

What true sexual maturity actually looks like

This isn't about doing more, but becoming more mature, grounded, connected and intentional.

Resources
Episode 101: Overcoming Roadblocks to Intimacy & Sexual Desire (mentioned in the episode)
👉 Join our exclusive Men's Only and Women's Only groups starting in May! They are limited to 10 people each, so check them out before they're gone.
👉 We're cruising in the fall, and we currently have ONE spot left. Make it yours!

What if low libido, fatigue, brain fog, mood changes, or sexual dysfunction aren't just "part of getting older"?
In this episode, Dan talks with family nurse practitioner Shelly Wilkinson about hormones, libido, insulin resistance, and the role whole-body health can play in sexual wellness. Shelly shares her personal story, what led her into hormone education, and why she believes many men and women are missing an important piece of the puzzle when it comes to energy, desire, and long-term health.
They talk about common signs of hormone imbalance, what questions to ask when seeking help, why libido issues are often more complex than we think, and how physical health and relational health can work together to improve intimacy.
If you're in midlife and noticing changes in energy, mood, desire, or sexual function, this conversation (and the one just previous to this epsiode in this mini series) will help you navigate the next steps.


In this episode, you'll hear:
Why low libido may not be only a relationship issue

Common symptoms that can point to hormone concerns

The connection between hormones, energy, and sexual health

Questions to ask before working with a hormone provider

Why both spouses may need to look at their health, not just one

How physical wellness can support emotional and sexual intimacy

Check out more about Shelly and her clinic here: http://wasatchmedicalspa.com
 



Resources and Events:
We invite you to explore our Get Your Marriage On coaching program. Get ready for our men's and women's groups starting up again in May!
We have one more spot available on our cruise! We'd love to have you join us!
 
Disclaimer: The opinions and values expressed by guests on the Get Your Marriage On! podcast are their own and do not necessarily reflect the opinions and values of the host. Appearance on the podcast does not imply an endorsement of the guest or their products by Get Your Marriage On or its host. While we work hard to bring you quality and valuable content, listeners are encouraged to use their own best judgment in applying the information or products discussed on this podcast.

Low libido, erectile dysfunction, hormone imbalance, and sexual frustration in marriage are often treated like isolated problems. But what if they're actually connected to something much bigger?
In this episode of the Get Your Marriage On! Podcast, Dan sits down with Dr. Jerry Dugger to talk about the link between physical health and sexual health. They discuss testosterone, estrogen, cortisol, thyroid, gut health, inflammation, sleep, stress, and why the body has to be understood as a whole system.
You'll also hear practical insights on how better health habits can improve desire, energy, confidence, and connection in marriage.
 
Resources and Events:
We invite you to explore our Get Your Marriage On coaching program. Get ready for our men's and women's groups starting up again in May!
We have one more spot available on our cruise! We'd love to have you join us!
 
Disclaimer: The opinions and values expressed by guests on the Get Your Marriage On! podcast are their own and do not necessarily reflect the opinions and values of the host. Appearance on the podcast does not imply an endorsement of the guest or their products by Get Your Marriage On or its host. While we work hard to bring you quality and valuable content, listeners are encouraged to use their own best judgment in applying the information or products discussed on this podcast.

What does your nervous system have to do with your sex life?
More than you might think.
In this episode, Dan sits down with nervous system specialist Morgan Starr-Riestis, who explains why feeling safe in your body is one of the most important ingredients for great intimacy.
Many couples assume sexual problems are about technique, desire differences, or communication. But often the real issue is something deeper: our nervous systems are stuck in fight, flight, or shutdown.
Morgan shares how our bodies are wired for safety, how dysregulation can show up in the bedroom, and why learning to regulate yourself can dramatically change your intimate connection.
You'll learn:
• Why safety is the foundation of pleasurable sex • The difference between actual safety vs perceived safety • How shame, pressure, and expectations dysregulate the body • Simple daily practices that help regulate your nervous system • Why trying too hard to orgasm can sometimes make it harder • How to identify the underlying need behind recurring relationship patterns
Morgan also shares practical exercises couples can try right away to build safety and connection in everyday moments.
If sex sometimes feels stressful, pressured, or emotionally loaded, this episode will help you understand what your body is trying to tell you—and how to work with it instead of against it.
You can find Morgan on all socials with the handle @mind.psy.guidance
Resources and Events:
We invite you to explore our Get Your Marriage On coaching program. For a limited time, you can try it free for 30 days and get access to coaching sessions and our full course library.
We also have an opening due to a cancellation at our upcoming couples retreat, and one more spot available on our cruise! We'd love to have you join us!
 
Disclaimer: The opinions and values expressed by guests on the Get Your Marriage On! podcast are their own and do not necessarily reflect the opinions and values of the host. Appearance on the podcast does not imply an endorsement of the guest or their products by Get Your Marriage On or its host. While we work hard to bring you quality and valuable content, listeners are encouraged to use their own best judgment in applying the information or products discussed on this podcast.