Check out full book list post on Substack here: My go-to healing book list for winterThank you so much, everyone, for letting me walk alongside you this season.I have a quick favor to ask as we close out this season: If the podcast has supported you in any way it would mean the world to me if you would take just a moment to leave an honest rating or review on the podcast, wherever you listen. To make it easy, I’ll leave the link for you to leave a rating or a review below!When you rate and review the podcast it helps more people find the podcast who are looking to join and have these kinds of conversations around healing codependency and the mother wound. Your voice makes a huge impact, and I am so grateful to receive your support. Thank you.I hope you all have a restful and nourishing winter, and hopefully I’ll see you in the Codependency Alchemy membership! This is a public episode. If you'd like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit alyssaaazander.substack.com/subscribe
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35:22
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35:22
How to get out of the thought spiral (in 3-steps)
Do you ever notice how one small trigger can send you into a full-blown spiral? Maybe your partner takes too long to text back, or a conflict makes you think the relationship is doomed and suddenly you’re catastrophizing, overthinking, or blaming yourself. In this episode of Codependency Alchemy, I walk you through my 3-step “Stop the Spiral” framework (Root, Regulate, Redirect) to help you come back to your body when your nervous system gets hijacked. We’ll explore common thought spirals like fear of abandonment, self-blame, and overthinking, and I’ll share how to re-center with compassion instead of control.This episode is for you if:* You find yourself stuck in anxious or intrusive thought loops.* You panic when there’s space or silence in your relationship.* You replay conversations, wondering if you said the “wrong thing.”* You want to feel calm and grounded instead of consumed by fear.I know now that spiraling is actually just my body asking for safety. When you pause to root into what’s actually happening, regulate your nervous system, and redirect your energy back to yourself, you stop trying to fix the fear and start learning from it.🌟 Special Podcast Listener Offer: Join the Codependency Alchemy Membership today and get 40% off!→ Click here to claim your discount and join now!💬 Get Community Support: Join our vibrant, supportive chat community and get real-time guidance on your healing journey. → Join the chat✨ Free Shadow Work & Inner Child Guide: Ready to deepen your healing with a step-by-step guide?→ Download my FREE guide🎥 Watch 9+ Powerful Masterclasses: Access practical tools, guided exercises, and transformative teachings to help you heal codependency and build healthier relationships. → Exclusive Masterclass Library✍🏾 From My Journal: Intimate insights and reflections directly from my personal healing journey.→ Read my latest journal entries💎 Explore “The Gems”: Browse curated free resources filled with practical wisdom and actionable insights designed to support your growth and healing. → Get your free resources here This is a public episode. If you'd like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit alyssaaazander.substack.com/subscribe
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35:57
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35:57
Why fixing their mood doesn’t fix you
Do you ever feel like it’s your job to make your partner (or kids, or parents) feel better when they’re upset? In this episode of Codependency Alchemy, we explore the codependent pattern of taking responsibility for someone else’s emotions and how it leaves you feeling resentful, anxious, and disconnected from yourself. I share how to shift from fixing their discomfort to creating safety within yourself, and we practice a real-time shadow work and somatic inner child exercise to help you break the cycle.This episode is for you if:* You immediately spring into action when your partner seems grumpy.* You believe making them feel better will give you peace or safety.* You feel resentful after trying to “fix” their mood.* You’re ready to learn tools that help you meet your discomfort instead of abandoning yourself.The real invitation is to ask yourself: is your partner asking you to fix their mood? The belief that “if I make them better, I’ll feel safe” is an old survival strategy, and we can appreciate how it supported you at one point in time but it doesn’t actually work in your adult relationships. In fact, it often leaves you more anxious, frustrated, or resentful. The real alchemy happens when you take all the energy you’d spend on fixing them and pour it into caring for yourself.🌟 Special Podcast Listener Offer: Join the Codependency Alchemy Membership today and get 40% off!→ Click here to claim your discount and join now!💬 Get Community Support: Join our vibrant, supportive chat community and get real-time guidance on your healing journey. → Join the chat✨ Free Shadow Work & Inner Child Guide: Ready to deepen your healing with a step-by-step guide?→ Download my FREE guide🎥 Watch 9+ Powerful Masterclasses: Access practical tools, guided exercises, and transformative teachings to help you heal codependency and build healthier relationships. → Exclusive Masterclass Library✍🏾 From My Journal: Intimate insights and reflections directly from my personal healing journey.→ Read my latest journal entries💎 Explore "The Gems": Browse curated free resources filled with practical wisdom and actionable insights designed to support your growth and healing. → Get your free resources here This is a public episode. If you'd like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit alyssaaazander.substack.com/subscribe
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51:58
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51:58
The shadow side of comfort zones
Do you ever notice how even when you know something isn’t working — the job, the relationship, the habit — you still put off making the change? In this episode of Codependency Alchemy, I share what I’ve been navigating around stepping away from being the “fixer,” why we cling to what feels familiar even when it drains us, and how to use shadow work and inner child healing to move through the fear of the unknown.This episode is for you if:* You’re afraid that making a change means you’ll lose people or end up alone.* You keep waiting for the “right time” to make a move, but it never comes.* You feel stuck in old patterns of caretaking or people-pleasing.* You’re ready to learn tools that help you feel safe enough to choose differently.Whether we like it or not, not making a change is also a choice— and it often gives us the very opposite of what we think it will. We tell ourselves staying the same will bring safety or stability, but it usually leaves us with guilt, anxiety, and exhaustion. The medicine here is compassion. When you hold that part of you with love and say, “Of course you’re afraid,” you create the safety you need to move forward.🌟 Special Podcast Listener Offer: Join the Codependency Alchemy Membership today and get 40% off!→ Click here to claim your discount and join now!💬 Get Community Support: Join our vibrant, supportive chat community and get real-time guidance on your healing journey. → Join the chat✨ Free Shadow Work & Inner Child Guide: Ready to deepen your healing with a step-by-step guide?→ Download my FREE guide🎥 Watch 9+ Powerful Masterclasses: Access practical tools, guided exercises, and transformative teachings to help you heal codependency and build healthier relationships. → Exclusive Masterclass Library✍🏾 From My Journal: Intimate insights and reflections directly from my personal healing journey.→ Read my latest journal entries💎 Explore "The Gems": Browse curated free resources filled with practical wisdom and actionable insights designed to support your growth and healing. → Get your free resources here This is a public episode. If you'd like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit alyssaaazander.substack.com/subscribe
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44:36
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44:36
The fear that almost ruined my relationship (and the lesson that saved it)
A year ago today, Justin and I got kicked off a flight, and what could have been a total meltdown moment turned into one of the biggest relationship lessons of my life. Over pints in the Amsterdam airport, I realized I’d been carrying the same fear in new clothing and it was quietly robbing me of experiencing the love I already had in my relationship.In this episode, I share the full story and the mind-shattering epiphany that cracked me open: why trying to control your partner’s future resentment (or cheating, or rejection) only keeps you stuck, and how softening, trusting, and letting yourself be supported can actually transform your relationship.This episode is for you if:* You find yourself bracing for impact instead of enjoying the present.* Money, resentment, or “what if” fears creep into your love life.* You tend to control, fix, or over-function to feel safe.* You’re ready to experience what happens when you stop gripping and let yourself be held.This isn’t just a travel story, it’s how you can stop letting fear control your relationship and finally feel the safety and joy you’ve been craving.🌟 Special Podcast Listener Offer: Join the Codependency Alchemy Membership today and get 40% off!→ Click here to claim your discount and join now!💬 Get Community Support: Join our vibrant, supportive chat community and get real-time guidance on your healing journey. → Join the chat✨ Free Shadow Work & Inner Child Guide: Ready to deepen your healing with a step-by-step guide?→ Download my FREE guide🎥 Watch 9+ Powerful Masterclasses: Access practical tools, guided exercises, and transformative teachings to help you heal codependency and build healthier relationships. → Exclusive Masterclass Library✍🏾 From My Journal: Intimate insights and reflections directly from my personal healing journey.→ Read my latest journal entries💎 Explore "The Gems": Browse curated free resources filled with practical wisdom and actionable insights designed to support your growth and healing. → Get your free resources here This is a public episode. If you'd like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit alyssaaazander.substack.com/subscribe
Codependency Alchemy is a space for healing codependency through shadow work and inner child healing. Join Alyssa for the vulnerable conversations, personal stories, and hard truths that help you reclaim your voice, set soul-aligned boundaries, and create relationships rooted in self-trust and authenticity. alyssaaazander.substack.com
South Africa