Become A Calm Mama

Your teenager pulling away from you is normal, and it’s a sign their brain is doing exactly what it’s supposed to do. In the teen years, your child’s job is to build an identity outside your family, and their brain is wired to care far more about social safety than physical safety or future success.
Your job is to stay calm, be available but not needy, listen without fixing, and hold clear rules without lectures. The way you handle these years is what sets up a good relationship with your young adult later.
You’ll Learn:
Why your teen cares more about their friends than their grades (and why that’s developmentally right on track)
Why your teen shuts down after school, and how to give them the decompression time they need
How to listen to your teen’s problems without rescuing, fixing, or falling apart
Why adolescence is like making a cake

Parenting teens is so, so hard. But as a mom who is now on the other side, with young adult children I have a really good relationship with, I can tell you that a lot of what makes that relationship work now came from choices I made during the teen years.
In today’s episode, I’ll help you understand what’s happening in your teen’s brain so you can give them the support they need and stay connected, even as you let go of control.
Read the full show notes here.
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Related Episodes:
The Parenting Teens Playlist on Spotify - A curated list of Become A Calm Mama’s teen-focused episodes
Episode 32: Adolescence & Identity
Episode 84: Better Conversations with Teens & Tweens
Episode 86: The Adolescent Brain

Free Resources:
Get your copy of the Stop Yelling Toolkit!
In this free guide you’ll discover:
✨ A simple tool to stop yelling once you’ve started (This one thing will get you calm.)
✨ 40 things to do instead of yelling. (You only need to pick one!)
✨ Exactly why you yell. (And how to stop yourself from starting.)
✨A script to say to your kids when you yell. (So they don't follow you around!)
Download the Stop Yelling Toolkit here
Connect With Darlynn:
Book a complimentary session with Darlynn
Learn about the different parenting programs at www.calmmamacoaching.com
Follow me on Instagram @darlynnchildress for daily tips
Rate and review the podcast on Itunes

The simplest way to calm down your day is to decide in advance when each everyday task happens, cut down the number of choices your family has to make, and give your kids your full attention at the hardest transitions: wake-up, drop-off, pickup, and bedtime.
In my house, that looked like easy ready-made breakfasts, no screens on school mornings, a small drawer of favorite clothes, lunchboxes on the counter right after school, the dishwasher run every single night, one sport at a time, and the same 5 to 8 dinners on repeat.

In this episode, I’m sharing some of my own tried-and-true routines and rhythms for simplifying your daily life. This is not a to-do list or the way it's "supposed" to be done. It's how I created our daily routines, why I made those choices, and how they helped me establish a peaceful and easy rhythm for our home.
You’ll Learn:
Three key times of day when your kid needs your full attention
Why it’s okay to let yourself off the hook sometimes (and ideas of what to let go of)
How to adjust these rhythms to work for you and your family

Your days will look different than mine did, and you definitely don’t need to use every tip I share here. I do hope you’ll get some ideas for how to structure your days and simplify your life. Start with one or two favorites, and take it from there!
Read the full show notes here.
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Related Episodes:
Episode 2.34: Stress-Free Mornings With Kids: The 3-Step Easy Morning Routine
Episode 2.35: Bedtime Routine Falling Apart? Here's How to Set (and Hold) Bedtime Limits
Episode 2.36: Screen Time Battles? Here's How to Set Effective Screen Time Limits
Episode 2.37: Homework Struggles Solved: Afternoon Routines and Limits That Motivate Kids
Episode 2.38: How to Get Kids to Do Chores Without Nagging (Age-by-Age Guide)
Episode 2.39: Peaceful Meals: How to Get Your Kids to Behave at the Dinner Table (Without Yelling)

Free Resources:
Get your copy of the Stop Yelling Toolkit!
In this free guide you’ll discover:
✨ A simple tool to stop yelling once you’ve started (This one thing will get you calm.)
✨ 40 things to do instead of yelling. (You only need to pick one!)
✨ Exactly why you yell. (And how to stop yourself from starting.)
✨A script to say to your kids when you yell. (So they don't follow you around!)
Download the Stop Yelling Toolkit here
Connect With Darlynn:
Book a complimentary session with Darlynn
Learn about the different parenting programs at www.calmmamacoaching.com
Follow me on Instagram @darlynnchildress for daily tips
Rate and review the podcast on Itunes

There are two simple concepts that solve almost every dinnertime struggle. The first is the Division of Responsibility in Feeding - giving the right responsibilities to the right people (hint: it’s not your job to make sure your kid cleans their plate). The second is using the Limit Setting Formula to set clear limits that turn mealtime chaos into a routine your kid can actually learn from.
Dinner doesn’t have to be so dramatic. Today, I’ll help you create a dinner routine that gives less chaos and more peace, connection, joy, and ease.
You’ll Learn:
Common mistakes that parents make at dinner (and what to do instead)
How to deal with picky eating, using the Division of Responsibility in Feeding
What to do about the mealtime behaviors that are driving you nuts
Example limits and scripts for common dinnertime problems
When to get professional help for your picky eater

Read the full show notes here.
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Related Episodes & Resources:
Episode 66: Peaceful Dinners & Picky Eaters
Child of Mine: Feeding with Love and Good Sense by Ellyn Satter
Episode 2.34: Stress-Free Mornings With Kids: The 3-Step Easy Morning Routine
Episode 2.35: Bedtime Routine Falling Apart? Here's How to Set (and Hold) Bedtime Limits
Episode 2.36: Screen Time Battles? Here's How to Set Effective Screen Time Limits
Episode 2.37: Homework Struggles Solved: Afternoon Routines and Limits That Motivate Kids
Episode 2.38: How to Get Kids to Do Chores Without Nagging (Age-by-Age Guide)

Free Resources:
Get your copy of the Stop Yelling Toolkit!
In this free guide you’ll discover:
✨ A simple tool to stop yelling once you’ve started (This one thing will get you calm.)
✨ 40 things to do instead of yelling. (You only need to pick one!)
✨ Exactly why you yell. (And how to stop yourself from starting.)
✨A script to say to your kids when you yell. (So they don't follow you around!)
Download the Stop Yelling Toolkit here
Connect With Darlynn:
Book a complimentary session with Darlynn
Learn about the different parenting programs at www.calmmamacoaching.com
Follow me on Instagram @darlynnchildress for daily tips
Rate and review the podcast on Itunes

The fastest way to get kids to actually do chores is to stop reminding and start using a limit: "You're welcome to [the next thing] as long as [the chore is done]."
Pick one or two age-appropriate chores at a time, connect each one to something that already happens next in your child's day (e.g. a snack, screen time, homework, going outside) and follow through calmly and consistently.
In this episode, I’ll show you how to get your kid to do chores and how to build a habit that they can internalize so that doing their chores becomes automatic.
I’m sharing an age-by-age breakdown of what's reasonable to expect from your kid, five common mistakes that keep chores from sticking, and exactly how to use the Limit Setting Formula so you're not nagging, bribing, or quietly doing everything yourself.
You’ll Learn:
The benefits of chores for kids (and for you)
Age-appropriate expectations for chores
Common mistakes families make with chores, and how to avoid them
How to create a chore routine that actually works so you can stop reminding and nagging

Read the full show notes here.
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Related Episodes:
Episode 151: Giving Allowance to Teach Financial Literacy
Episode 2.34: Stress-Free Mornings With Kids: The 3-Step Easy Morning Routine
Episode 2.35: Bedtime Routine Falling Apart? Here's How to Set (and Hold) Bedtime Limits
Episode 2.36: Screen Time Battles? Here's How to Set Effective Screen Time Limits
Episode 2.37: Homework Struggles Solved: Afternoon Routines and Limits That Motivate Kids

Free Resources:
Get your copy of the Stop Yelling Toolkit!
In this free guide you’ll discover:
✨ A simple tool to stop yelling once you’ve started (This one thing will get you calm.)
✨ 40 things to do instead of yelling. (You only need to pick one!)
✨ Exactly why you yell. (And how to stop yourself from starting.)
✨A script to say to your kids when you yell. (So they don't follow you around!)
Download the Stop Yelling Toolkit here
Connect With Darlynn:
Book a complimentary session with Darlynn
Learn about the different parenting programs at www.calmmamacoaching.com
Follow me on Instagram @darlynnchildress for daily tips
Rate and review the podcast on Itunes

Homework fights almost never come down to laziness or defiance. They come down to five specific causes - exhaustion, procrastination, perfectionism, low motivation, and disorganization - and each one has its own reason behind it and its own fix.
The two tools that solve nearly all of them are the Connection Tool (for the in-the-moment big feeling) and the Limit Setting Formula for building a routine. In this episode, I’ll walk you through what’s actually going on with each behavior, and exactly what to say and do about it.
You’ll Learn:
Why rewards and sticker charts don’t actually motivate kids in the long term.
Why procrastination, perfectionism, low motivation, and disorganization are emotional and structural issues, not character flaws (and why this is even more true for kids with ADHD)
How to use the Connection Tool in the moment your kid is stalling or melting down
How to run a Coaching Conversation for repeat patterns like perfectionism
Real examples of homework limits you can use tonight

Read the full blog post here.
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Related Episodes:
Episode 2.34: Stress-Free Mornings With Kids: The 3-Step Easy Morning Routine
Episode 2.35: Bedtime Routine Falling Apart? Here's How to Set (and Hold) Bedtime Limits
Episode 2.36: Screen Time Battles? Here's How to Set Effective Screen Time Limits

Free Resources:
Get your copy of the Stop Yelling Toolkit!
In this free guide you’ll discover:
✨ A simple tool to stop yelling once you’ve started (This one thing will get you calm.)
✨ 40 things to do instead of yelling. (You only need to pick one!)
✨ Exactly why you yell. (And how to stop yourself from starting.)
✨A script to say to your kids when you yell. (So they don't follow you around!)
Download the Stop Yelling Toolkit here
Connect With Darlynn:
Book a complimentary session with Darlynn
Learn about the different parenting programs at www.calmmamacoaching.com
Follow me on Instagram @darlynnchildress for daily tips
Rate and review the podcast on Itunes