How to Talk to Your Parents About Money, with Behavioral Economist Etinosa Agbonlahor
#636: Behavioral economist Etinosa Agbonlahor joins us to discuss "money scripts" — the unconscious beliefs we inherit or develop about finances.
Agbonlahor, CEO of Decision Alpha and former Director of Behavioral Science Research at Fidelity Investments, is the author of "How to Talk to Your Parents About Money."
She studied financial management at Cornell University and explains how these hidden biases create problems when we try to discuss finances with family members.
You might assume everyone thinks saving money makes sense, while your parents operate under completely different beliefs. These conflicting scripts can derail conversations before they start.
Agbonlahor shares the story of a single mother who became so anxious about money after her divorce that she refused to buy her teenager expensive shoes. Years later, she realized she was trying to teach extreme frugality to protect her daughters from the financial insecurity she experienced.
The key to productive money conversations lies in three principles: care, curiosity and cooperation. You approach with empathy rather than judgment, ask open-ended questions to understand their situation, and work together toward solutions instead of trying to be the financial savior.
The conversation covers specific topics you should address with aging parents: debt, retirement planning, long-term care preferences, and estate planning. Agbonlahor emphasizes starting these discussions early, before a crisis hits.
You want to understand their vision for retirement — whether they prioritize security, adventure or leaving a legacy — and then assess the gap between their goals and current reality.
When parents refuse to discuss finances, you might need to involve trusted friends, spiritual leaders or professional advisors who can have these conversations instead.
Resources Mentioned:
Book: How to Talk to Your Parents About Money, by Etinosa Agbonlahor
The Humble Dollar Forum
Timestamps:
Note: Timestamps will vary on individual listening devices based on dynamic advertising run times. The provided timestamps are approximate and may be several minutes off due to changing ad lengths.
(00:00) Introduction to money scripts
(00:56) What behavioral economics studies
(03:03) Hidden money beliefs
(04:34) Money script examples
(06:16) Adult trauma responses
(09:32) Personality and money
(11:57) Trauma changes personality
(12:55) Protecting future habits
(15:17) Debt conversation approach
(22:03) When to start conversations
(27:53) Using "I" statements
(29:51) Sample conversation scripts
(33:36) Handling resistance
(43:35) Parents' money frameworks
(56:46) Long-term care planning
(58:02) Stepparent conversations
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1:00:21
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Q&A: Gold vs. Stocks – and Why Inflation Panic Makes You Poor
#635: Arielle’s head is spinning from the seemingly contradictory advice she hears about the best investments to hedge against inflation and a possible recession. What’s she missing?
Dave is curious about private investments after listening to a recent First Friday episode. What are they, and should he consider them for his portfolio?
Abbey is stoked about the raise she negotiated for her first job out of school. But she’s worried about liability risk related to her new position. How does she protect herself?
Former financial planner Joe Saul-Sehy and I tackle these three questions in today’s episode.
Enjoy!
P.S. Got a question? Leave it here
For more information, visit the show notes at https://affordanything.com/episode635
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1:34:57
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1:34:57
Wharton Professor: The 7 Hidden Types of Entrepreneurs | with Lori Rosenkopf
#634: Picture this: you're 26 years old, fresh out of Wharton, and you decide to start a business with two friends. You spend years building a digital marketing firm that eventually works with Dollar Shave Club and Madison Reed. You bootstrap the entire thing without taking a dime of venture capital funding.
That's exactly what one Wharton graduate did — and his story represents the reality of entrepreneurship that most people never hear about.
Lori Rosenkopf, a management professor at Wharton Business School and head of Venture Labs, joins us to shatter the biggest myths about starting a business. The Mark Zuckerberg college dropout story? It's not just rare — it's misleading.
Research shows that the most successful entrepreneurs, those in the top 0.1 percent of venture-backed firms, average late 30s to early 40s when they start their companies. Many continue launching businesses into their 50s and 60s.
Your age and corporate experience isn't holding you back from entrepreneurship — it's actually giving you an advantage.
Rosenkopf breaks down seven different types of entrepreneurs, from disruptors who overturn entire industries to bootstrappers who build profitable businesses using their own resources. You'll hear about a founder who disrupted the hair color industry in her 50s with Madison Reed, and a banker who built an entire financial services division inside Square.
We cover the rise of direct-to-consumer brands in 2013, why 80 percent of entrepreneurs are bootstrappers, and how artificial intelligence is creating new opportunities for people to start businesses without massive upfront investments.
Rosenkopf explains her "six Rs" of entrepreneurial thinking: reason, recombination, relationships, resources, resilience, and results. She argues that most people already think entrepreneurially without realizing it — even parents who optimize their family routines are solving problems through innovation.
We explore the world of "intrapreneurs" — people who build new businesses within established companies — and discuss acquisition entrepreneurship, where people buy existing small businesses instead of starting from scratch.
Whether you want to start a side hustle, position yourself for a promotion, or eventually launch your own company, Rosenkopf's framework shows multiple paths to creating value through innovation.
Timestamps:
Note: Timestamps will vary on individual listening devices based on dynamic advertising run times. The provided timestamps are approximate and may be several minutes off due to changing ad lengths.
(0:00) Entrepreneurship myths
(1:28) Data on successful entrepreneur ages
(2:10) Seven entrepreneur archetypes
(3:09) Defining entrepreneurship through value creation
(5:27) The disruptor model
(8:13) Direct-to-consumer origins
(11:13) Bootstrapper
(14:03) Transitioning from employee to bootstrapper
(18:38) AI's impact on entrepreneurship
(28:27) Social entrepreneur
(35:31) Technology commercializer
(39:45) The Funder
(43:12) The Acquirer
(58:06) Intrapreneurship
(1:03:12) Finding your entrepreneurial calling
(1:14:40) Six Rs of entrepreneurial mindset
(1:19:50) More information
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1:20:00
Q&A: How to Spot Investment Scams Before You Lose Everything
#633: Paul is worried the private equity investment he’s about to make could be a scam. How can he do his due diligence and stay protected when there’s a shortage of reliable information?
Rob is questioning the purpose of a bond allocation in his eight-figure investment portfolio. Is he on to something, or is there a legitimate case to add them?
Dan can retire in a few years, but he’s itching to do it now. Would buying a business be the key to unlocking an earlier exit from his W2?
Former financial planner Joe Saul-Sehy and I tackle these three questions in today’s episode.
Enjoy!
Resources:
Interview with Dr. Eric Cole
Interview with Katie Gatti Tassin
P.S. Got a question? Leave it at https://affordanything.com/voicemail
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1:15:39
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1:15:39
How to Get Everything You Want at Work
Your Next Raise is open for enrollment!
https://affordanything.com/how-to-negotiate-your-next-raise
#632: There are 10 conversations that a person should have at work in order to do a better job, have better relationships at work, and make more money.
Melody Wilding, Professor of Human Behavior at Hunter College, joins us to talk about how you can get the most out of your boss.
Resources:
Managing Up by Melody Wilding: managingup.com
Timestamps:
Note: Timestamps will vary on individual listening devices based on dynamic advertising run times. The provided timestamps are approximate and may be several minutes off due to changing ad lengths.
(00:00) The 10 Conversations Framework
(02:37) Shifting Workplace Dynamics
(06:11) Key Conversations for Alignment
(10:02) Understanding Your Boss’s Priorities
(12:02) Mapping Stakeholder Influence
(15:28) Visibility and Proximity Bias
(20:31) Managing Shifting Priorities
(22:11) Understanding Boss Archetypes
(28:01) Navigating Personality Frameworks
(32:06) Articulating Your Communication Style
(35:03) Taking Ownership and Suggesting Ideas
(39:59) Building a Reputation Through Ownership
(45:03) Setting and Framing Boundaries
(56:01) The Ripple Effect of Unaddressed Issues
(59:00) Feedback Conversations
(01:03:02) Recapping the Framework Steps
(01:11:09) Building Your Story Bank
(01:18:01) Advancement and Compensation Conversations
(01:25:15) Framing Your Compensation Request
(01:29:00) Navigating Policy-Based Responses
(01:31:51) Creative Compensation Solutions
(01:34:29) Knowing When to Leave
(01:36:13) Assessing Future Opportunities
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You can afford anything, but not everything. We make daily decisions about how to spend money, time, energy, focus and attention – and ultimately, our life.
How do we make smarter decisions? How do we think from first principles?
On the surface, Afford Anything seems like a podcast about money and investing.
But under the hood, this is a show about how to think critically, recognize our behavioral blind spots, and make smarter choices. We’re into the psychology of money, and we love metacognition: thinking about how to think.
In some episodes, we interview world-class experts: professors, researchers, scientists, authors. In other episodes, we answer your questions, talking through decision-making frameworks and mental models.
Want to learn more? Download our free book, Escape, at http://affordanything.com/escape. Hosted by Paula Pant.
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