#113: The Messy Middle of Stepmom Life: Intrusive Thoughts, Comparison, and Control
Do you ever catch yourself spiraling with intrusive thoughts about not being “enough” as a stepmom? Maybe you wonder if you’ll ever feel as important as your partner’s kids’ mom. Or you feel that rush of pressure to have a baby of your own—just so you can finally feel “equal.”If that’s you, you are not alone.In this episode of The Stepmom Side Podcast, Alicia dives deep into what she calls the messy middle of stepmomming—the stage where you’ve been in the role long enough to know the hard stuff, but you’re still figuring out how to handle the constant tension of:Dealing with intrusive thoughts of feeling inferior as a stepmom without biological kidsThe pressure and jealousy around wanting your own kids just to feel equalFacing the double standard: what makes you a “great mom” with an ours baby would’ve been called “evil” with your stepkidsBalancing care and control—wanting to show up for your stepkids but not having the legal authority to make decisionsRecognizing when it’s time to step back and let the actual parents handle it, even when you see the gapsCoping with frustration, resentment, and those “rage-cleaning the bathroom” momentsWhy comparison to the ex or to a “perfect family” is a trap you don’t have to stay stuck inAlicia shares her own messy middle stories—like jealousy when she didn’t have kids of her own yet, or the time she literally walked four miles at night just to calm down after stepfamily stress. You’ll hear real talk, honest encouragement, and strategies to help you feel less alone and more grounded in your role.👉 Whether you’re childless, child-free, or balancing stepkids with kids of your own, this episode will remind you: you are not broken—you’re just in the messy middle.✨ Join the conversation inside The Stepmom Side Community, where you can connect with stepmoms who truly get it.Support the showWant a specific topic covered? Let me know here.After you listen to this, tag me on Instagram @aliciakrasko and let me know what you think!Get all the FREE RESOURCES here.Want to learn more about The Stepmom Side community? Here's where you get all the info. Looking forward to connecting with you on the inside.All things Alicia visit www.aliciakrasko.comGet on the list, get behind the scene info on Stepmom life, and tips delivered to your inbox.
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#112: Getting Over Your Partner’s Past (And How to Stop Throwing It in Their Face)
In this candid episode, Alicia gets real about something most stepmoms won’t say out loud: you want to be over your partner’s past… but reminders keep ambushing you—kids’ faces, old photos, in-law stories, even the house you live in. She explains why your brain grabs the past when you don’t feel safe, the hidden cost of re-hashing old wounds, and a step-by-step plan to stop using history as ammunition so you can build the future you actually want.Who this is for:Stepmoms who feel caught between “I’m fine” and “I’m about to bring up 2014 again.” If you’ve ever tossed a decades-old moment into a current disagreement, this one’s for you.What you’ll learn:Why the past feels so present: Safety responses, stepfamily triggers, and the comparison trap (you’re not “first,” so it feels like you’ll never “come first”).The real cost of holding on: Erosion of trust, the resentment loop, and how re-reading old chapters keeps you from writing new ones.Six tools to move forward (without pretending it never happened):Catch the trigger in real timeSeparate past from presentJournal it (hello, Ex-Files) instead of dumping it on your partnerChoose your future over your fear (simple visualization prompt)Forgiveness vs. boundaries (what each one actually does)Shift the self-talk: from “I’ll never measure up” to “I am the present and the future”Key takeawaysWhen you don’t feel safe, your brain reaches for “proven” past evidence to protect you. That doesn’t mean it serves your relationship now.The more you punish your partner for the past, the less space there is to create something new—today.You are not in competition with their past. You are their present and future.Boundaries protect you; expectations attempt to control them. Keep them separate.If the roles were reversed, you wouldn’t want your old chapters thrown at you either.Related episodes & resourcesEpisode 111 – Spiraling: Why It Happens & How to Feel Safe Again → aliciakrasko.com/111Episode 110 – The Secret Journal Every Stepmom Should Have (Your “Ex-Files”) → aliciakrasko.com/110Want a specific topic covered? Let me know here.After you listen to this, tag me on Instagram @aliciakrasko and let me know what you think!Get all the FREE RESOURCES here.Want to learn more about The Stepmom Side community? Here's where you get all the info. Looking forward to connecting with you on the inside.All things Alicia visit www.aliciakrasko.comGet on the list, get behind the scene info on Stepmom life, and tips delivered to your inbox.
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#111: When You’re Spiraling as a Stepmom: Why It Happens and How to Stop
Spiraling happens to every stepmom. You’re not broken—you’re human. In this episode, Alicia breaks down why stepmoms spiral, when it usually happens, and the steps you can take to calm your nervous system and find your footing again. If you’ve ever felt like your thoughts are racing, your chest is tight, and everything feels like too much, this episode will help you feel safe and grounded.What you’ll learn in this episode:Why spiraling is normal and not a personal failureCommon triggers that make stepmoms spiralSimple, practical tools to stop a spiral and find safetyHow to shift from survival mode into calm confidenceWhether you’re new to stepmom life or years in, this episode will help you find peace in the middle of the chaos.Want a specific topic covered? Let me know here.After you listen to this, tag me on Instagram @aliciakrasko and let me know what you think!Get all the FREE RESOURCES here.Want to learn more about The Stepmom Side community? Here's where you get all the info. Looking forward to connecting with you on the inside.All things Alicia visit www.aliciakrasko.comGet on the list, get behind the scene info on Stepmom life, and tips delivered to your inbox.
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#110: The Secret Journal Every Stepmom Should Have
Ever wish you could say exactly what’s on your mind to your partner’s ex… but know it’ll only make things worse? In this episode, Alicia shares the concept of an “Ex-Files”—a private place to store your unspoken thoughts, frustrations, and screenshots. Learn why it’s essential for your peace, your relationship, and your stepmom sanity.You’ll discover:What an Ex-Files is and how to set one upWhy it protects your relationshipWhen to use it (and when not to)How it helps you release frustration without blowing things upCreate your Ex-Files today and give yourself the gift of peace.Want a specific topic covered? Let me know here.After you listen to this, tag me on Instagram @aliciakrasko and let me know what you think!Get all the FREE RESOURCES here.Want to learn more about The Stepmom Side community? Here's where you get all the info. Looking forward to connecting with you on the inside.All things Alicia visit www.aliciakrasko.comGet on the list, get behind the scene info on Stepmom life, and tips delivered to your inbox.
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#109: When In-Laws Stay Close to the Ex: Navigating the Challenges as a Stepmom
In this episode of The Stepmom Side Podcast, Alicia dives deep into the challenges that come when in-laws stay close to the ex. This dynamic can leave you feeling like the outsider in your own family, causing frustration, jealousy, and insecurity. But how can you cope with these feelings and build healthier boundaries? Tune in as Alicia shares her personal experiences, provides insight into the complex family dynamics, and offers practical advice to navigate these tricky situations with confidence.In This Episode, We Discuss:The Hard Reality: As a stepmom, you don’t get to decide who has a relationship with the ex. This loss of control can be hard, but it’s the reality of blended families.It’s Not Personal: Just because your in-laws maintain a relationship with the ex doesn’t mean they don’t like you. It’s about family history and dynamics, not about your worth.The Emotional Toll: Feelings of jealousy, exclusion, and frustration are common when in-laws stay close with the ex. Alicia shares how to manage these emotions without letting them control you.Competing Loyalties: In-laws are walking a fine line between supporting their child (your partner) and maintaining relationships with the ex for the sake of the kids. It’s important to understand their position without taking it personally.Healthy Communication and Boundaries: Learn how to communicate your feelings to your partner and establish boundaries that work for your relationship. Find ways to navigate family gatherings and sensitive situations without feeling like the “outsider.”Developing Your Own Relationship with In-Laws: Alicia offers tips on how to build a connection with your in-laws separate from the ex. This can help you feel more secure in your role as a stepmom.Want a specific topic covered? Let me know here.After you listen to this, tag me on Instagram @aliciakrasko and let me know what you think!Get all the FREE RESOURCES here.Want to learn more about The Stepmom Side community? Here's where you get all the info. Looking forward to connecting with you on the inside.All things Alicia visit www.aliciakrasko.comGet on the list, get behind the scene info on Stepmom life, and tips delivered to your inbox.
Do you find yourself googling for "Stepmom help" or "Stepmom struggles" more than you'd care to admit? If so, you're in the right place. The Stepmom Side Podcast is a conversational podcast about being a Stepmom and what that actually looks like. Host Alicia Krasko covers everything from part-time, full-time, to being an empty nester as a Stepmom. Every week, you'll get a bit of humor, advice, and a conversation that will have you taking an objective look at how you're showing up. You can expect honest (and uncomfortable) conversations with perspective shifts mixed in to help you create the life you no longer have to google for help.
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