The SelfWork Podcast

Messy marriages are all over the place – and living through them and maybe grieving them can at times be extremely complicated. In today’s SelfWork episode, whether you’re grieving the death of someone with whom you had a complex and even hurtful relationship or whether that relationship still exists, you are often needing to grieve that person’s impact on you. With Valentines Day fast approaching, a date that people often have great fun with or hate living through, it’s important to realize that not all grief belongs with “good” or “meaningful” relationships. Maybe you were estranged from them. Maybe the relationship or marriage has taken you down paths that you didn’t want to go or never thought you would – and you have difficult feelings about that. It may seem contradictory – why would you need to grieve someone’s life or simply their presence in your life – if they’d hurt you? Or if you regret either getting married or staying married. That’s on today’s SelfWork.
The listener email today is from someone who read my book on perfectly hidden depression and was moved by it. She paints in eloquent detail her own reaction. Why am I reading it to you? Because maybe it explains how you might feel – or how someone you love might feel.
Vital Links:
Link to pre-order the Perfectly Hidden Depression Workbook! 
Research on divorce's effect on children
Advertisers Links: 
Click HERE for the NEXT GEN offer from AG1 – with bonus product with your new subscription
By the way... 

I’m excited to let you know that my new workbook, The Perfectly Hidden Depression Workbook, is available for pre-order! It’s a stand-alone workbook (so doesn't need to be used with the original book) and goes through the ten traits of PHD - things like taking on too much responsibility, not knowing how to be more open emotionally - and guides you through new exercises and ideas. These can help you decide what about your drive or your perfectionism you want to keep - and what you need to let go. It’ll publish on April 1st - but pre-order numbers are very important! So I’ll hope you’ll pre-order now! Here's the link!
You can hear more about mental health and many other topics by listening to my podcast, SelfWork with Dr. Margaret Rutherford. Subscribe to my newsletter and receive one weekly email from me, highlighting my weekly blog post and podcast! If you’d like to join myself and others in my private FaceBook group, click here and answer the membership questions! I'd love to see you there!
And there’s another way to send me a message! You can record by clicking below and ask your question or make a comment. You’ll have 90 seconds to do so and that time goes quickly. By recording, you’re giving SelfWork (and me) permission to use your voice on the podcast. I’ll look forward to hearing from you!

 

Our Sponsors:
* Check out BetterHelp: https://www.betterhelp.com
* Check out Timeline: https://Timeline.com/selfwork30

Advertising Inquiries: https://redcircle.com/brands

Today we're exploring what's termed "anticipatory grieving."
When you know something is going to happen that will bring its own kind of grief… whether it’s a loved one being diagnosed with a terminal illness, an unwanted divorce being filed, learning that a child will struggle with a learning difference – it can bring a slew of emotions, many of them moving in and out of your awareness quickly. Anticipatory grieving is a way to imagine, visualize, and begin to emotionally prepare for the loss that is to come.
We’ll focus today on the five steps of anticipatory grieving – the how, when, what, where, and why it’s important. But before I do that, for any of you who are thinking, “Why in the hell would I want to do that?” I’ll answer that very good and reasonable question.
I received a lovely message from someone telling me she’d listened to my podcast episode with Terry McGuire – who’s the host of Giving Voice to Depression and has struggled with depression herself. Terry talked about anhedonia – and this listener asked me to talk more about what you can do about this particular symptom of depression.
Vital Links:
Link to pre-order the Perfectly Hidden Depression Workbook! 
 
By the way...

I’m excited to let you know that my new workbook, The Perfectly Hidden Depression Workbook, is available for pre-order! It’s a stand-alone workbook (so doesn't need to be used with the original book) and goes through the ten traits of PHD - things like taking on too much responsibility, not knowing how to be more open emotionally - and guides you through new exercises and ideas. These can help you decide what about your drive or your perfectionism you want to keep - and what you need to let go. It’ll publish on April 1st - but pre-order numbers are very important! So I’ll hope you’ll pre-order now! Here's the link!
You can hear more about mental health and many other topics by listening to my podcast, SelfWork with Dr. Margaret Rutherford. Subscribe to my newsletter and receive one weekly email from me, highlighting my weekly blog post and podcast! If you’d like to join myself and others in my private FaceBook group, click here and answer the membership questions! I'd love to see you there!
And there’s another way to send me a message! You can record by clicking below and ask your question or make a comment. You’ll have 90 seconds to do so and that time goes quickly. By recording, you’re giving SelfWork (and me) permission to use your voice on the podcast. I’ll look forward to hearing from you!

 
 
 

Our Sponsors:
* Check out BetterHelp: https://www.betterhelp.com
* Check out Timeline: https://Timeline.com/selfwork30

Advertising Inquiries: https://redcircle.com/brands

Today, I'm excited to introduce SelfWork listeners to The Jordan Harbinger Show, which has become a regular listen on my walks. If you've been looking for another top rated podcast, we hope you'll give Jordan Harbinger a listen.

Self-criticism can take on a life of its own. And become so constant that you have to fight it on a daily or even hourly basis.
So today we’re going to focus on what may be keeping your self-criticism alive and well in ways that you don't realize.
There are two steps we’ll cover. The first is raising awareness of your own inner self-critical voice. The second is assessing what role or function it may have for you. What purpose might self-criticism have that weirdly protects you in some way or serves a role for you in your life?
For our email, I’ve pulled some excerpts from an email I received from a younger reader who’d read the article on enmeshment I have on my website. She has questions about her relationship with her parents – she finds herself, even in her early 20’s, sharing certain kinds of things with them that her friends don’t share with their parents – and think it’s a little strange that she shares those experiences with hers. Her friends are saying that that’s oversharing – that there are certain things you no longer share with your folks as you grow and develop your own life away from them. Are her friends right?
Advertisers Links: 
Click HERE for the NEXT GEN offer from AG1 – with bonus product with your new subscription!
Vital Links:
Link to pre-order the Perfectly Hidden Depression Workbook! 
Dr. Margaret's article on covert narcissism
Enmeshment article by Dr. Margaret
 
By the way...

I’m excited to let you know that my new workbook, The Perfectly Hidden Depression Workbook, is available for pre-order! It’s a stand-alone workbook (so doesn't need to be used with the original book) and goes through the ten traits of PHD - things like taking on too much responsibility, not knowing how to be more open emotionally - and guides you through new exercises and ideas. These can help you decide what about your drive or your perfectionism you want to keep - and what you need to let go. It’ll publish on April 1st - but pre-order numbers are very important! So I’ll hope you’ll pre-order now! Here's the link!
You can hear more about mental health and many other topics by listening to my podcast, SelfWork with Dr. Margaret Rutherford. Subscribe to my newsletter and receive one weekly email from me, highlighting my weekly blog post and podcast! If you’d like to join myself and others in my private FaceBook group, click here and answer the membership questions! I'd love to see you there!
And there’s another way to send me a message! You can record by clicking below and ask your question or make a comment. You’ll have 90 seconds to do so and that time goes quickly. By recording, you’re giving SelfWork (and me) permission to use your voice on the podcast. I’ll look forward to hearing from you!

Our Sponsors:
* Check out BetterHelp: https://www.betterhelp.com
* Check out Timeline: https://Timeline.com/selfwork30

Advertising Inquiries: https://redcircle.com/brands

Today, I'm excited to introduce SelfWork listeners to The Jordan Harbinger Show, which has become a regular listen on my walks. If you've been looking for another top rated podcast, we hope you'll give Jordan Harbinger a listen.