360. Why You Keep Getting Triggered and How to Finally Break the Pattern
You swear it’ll be different this time. You’ll stay calm when your mom criticizes you, when your partner walks away mid-argument, or when your friend ghosts you for the third time. And yet…there you are again: defending, withdrawing, or apologizing just to make the tension stop. You’re not weak. You’re wired. Your brain learned long ago what to do when it sensed danger, and it still thinks those same moves are saving your life. Today we’re going to talk about what’s really driving your emotional reactions, why change feels so impossible at first, and the five-step process to finally rewire those old patterns for good.____________________________Full blog and show notes: https://abbymedcalf.com/breaking-emotional-patterns Download your free guide: The Emotional Pattern Interrupter: A 1-Page Guide to Rewire in Real Time. This quick-win worksheet walks you through the five-step process in under two minutes so you can shift from reaction to choice the moment you feel triggered: https://abbymedcalf.com/pattern-interrupterJoin my online community, One Love Collective, on Substack: https://abbymedcalf.com/substack. You'll get...✨ Early drops + ad-free podcast episodes✨ Worksheets, journal prompts, downloads, and guided visualizations✨ Community chats and live Q&A calls with Abby_________ Subscribe to the Love Letter and get my little messages each week! https://abbymedcalf.com/loveletter-opt-in/ 👉 Pick up a copy of my new book, Boundaries Made Easy: Your Roadmap to Connection, Easy and Joy: https://abbymedcalf.com/boundaries 👉 Pick up The Workbook: Boundaries Made Easier to use as a companion to the book or as a standalone masterclass: https://abbymedcalf.com/boundaries-workbook 👉 Buy my #1 bestselling book on Amazon, Be Happily Married: Even If Your Partner Won’t Do a Thing: https://abbymedcalf.com/book ____________________________Looking for past episodes of the Relationships Made Easy Podcast? Head over to https://abbymedcalf.com/podcast-the-archives where you’ll find past episodes.Ready to dig deeper? Take one of my online courses (some are FREE!) or grab a workbook: https://abbymedcalf.com/shopSay hello on social:Substack: https://substack.com/@abbymedcalfphdInstagram: https://www.instagram.com/abbymedcalfthrivingLinkedIn: https://linkedin.com/in/abbymedcalfthrivingYouTube: https://abbymedcalf.com/youtube Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
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359. Soothing Yourself First: Why Relying on Others Isn’t the Answer
You always wait. You wait for the phone call from your partner, the text from a friend, the counselor’s time, maybe even your parent’s voice to calm you. But what if I told you that waiting is costing you your power? That you are the single most reliable person you’ll ever have to calm you down, and until you claim that, you’ll keep showing up in your relationships needy, reactive, or out of sorts. Today we’re going to uncover why you habitually reach for someone else first, how that pattern affects the one relationship you can’t escape (the one with you), and most importantly, I’ll give you five research-backed self-soothing tools you can start using right now, so you don’t have to wait for rescue.____________________________Full blog and show notes: https://abbymedcalf.com/when-you-cant-wait-for-someone-to-calm-you-down Get the self-soothing toolkit - Your Calm Is in Your Hands: 5 Ways to Self-Soothe Like an Adult: https://abbymedcalf.com/self-sootheJoin my online community, One Love Collective, on Substack: https://abbymedcalf.com/substack. You'll get...✨ Early drops + ad-free podcast episodes✨ Worksheets, journal prompts, downloads, and guided visualizations✨ Community chats and live Q&A calls with Abby_________ Subscribe to the Love Letter and get my little messages each week! https://abbymedcalf.com/loveletter-opt-in/ 👉 Pick up a copy of my new book, Boundaries Made Easy: Your Roadmap to Connection, Easy and Joy: https://abbymedcalf.com/boundaries 👉 Pick up The Workbook: Boundaries Made Easier to use as a companion to the book or as a standalone masterclass: https://abbymedcalf.com/boundaries-workbook 👉 Buy my #1 bestselling book on Amazon, Be Happily Married: Even If Your Partner Won’t Do a Thing: https://abbymedcalf.com/book ____________________________Looking for past episodes of the Relationships Made Easy Podcast? Head over to https://abbymedcalf.com/podcast-the-archives where you’ll find past episodes.Say hello on social:Substack: https://substack.com/@abbymedcalfphdInstagram: https://www.instagram.com/abbymedcalfthrivingLinkedIn: https://linkedin.com/in/abbymedcalfthrivingYouTube: https://abbymedcalf.com/youtube Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
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358. Holiday Peace On Demand: What to Do When Family Drama Boils Over
The holidays can bring out the best in us and the absolute worst. One minute you’re sipping cocoa, the next you’re fantasizing about running away from the dinner table and hiding in your car. You love your family, but let’s be honest: they can drive you crazy. That’s why in this episode I’m giving you tools you can actually use in real time. You’ll learn a simple 90-second reset that calms your body, a handful of one-line phrases that stop conflict without escalating it, and a repair strategy you can use afterward so resentment doesn’t follow you into the new year.____________________________ Full blog and show notes: https://abbymedcalf.com/holiday-conflict-cheat-sheet Get Your Holiday Conflict Cheat Sheet: https://abbymedcalf.com/holiday-conflict-sheet Join my online community, One Love Collective, on Substack: https://abbymedcalf.com/substack. You'll get...✨ Early drops + ad-free podcast episodes✨ Worksheets, journal prompts, downloads, and guided visualizations✨ Community chats and live Q&A calls with Abby_________ Subscribe to the Love Letter and get my little messages each week! https://abbymedcalf.com/loveletter-opt-in/ 👉 Pick up a copy of my new book, Boundaries Made Easy: Your Roadmap to Connection, Easy and Joy: https://abbymedcalf.com/boundaries 👉 Pick up The Workbook: Boundaries Made Easier to use as a companion to the book or as a standalone masterclass: https://abbymedcalf.com/boundaries-workbook 👉 Buy my #1 bestselling book on Amazon, Be Happily Married: Even If Your Partner Won’t Do a Thing: https://abbymedcalf.com/book ____________________________Looking for past episodes of the Relationships Made Easy Podcast? Head over to https://abbymedcalf.com/podcast-the-archives where you’ll find past episodes. Ready to dig deeper? Take one of my online courses (some are FREE!) or grab a workbook: https://abbymedcalf.com/shop Say hello on social:Substack: https://substack.com/@abbymedcalfphdInstagram: https://www.instagram.com/abbymedcalfthrivingLinkedIn: https://linkedin.com/in/abbymedcalfthrivingYouTube: https://abbymedcalf.com/youtube Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
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357. Talk So They Lean In: The 5 Moves for Difficult Conversations
Hard conversations don’t usually blow up because of the issue itself. They blow up because of the moves we make in the moment. You’ve been there: you bring up money, or intimacy, or family dynamics, and suddenly you’re in the middle of a fight you didn’t want, wondering how it went sideways so fast. The good news? You don’t need more guts or more clever comebacks. You need a better playbook. Today I’ll teach you the five moves that keep defensiveness low and collaboration high. You’ll learn the exact questions to ask, what to do when your partner shuts down, and how to leave the conversation feeling connected instead of defeated.____________________________ Full blog and show notes: https://abbymedcalf.com/how-to-have-hard-conversations-without-defensiveness Download My Conversation Pocket Guide: https://abbymedcalf.com/convo-guide Join my online community, One Love Collective, on Substack: https://abbymedcalf.com/substack. You'll get...✨ Early drops + ad-free podcast episodes✨ Worksheets, journal prompts, downloads, and guided visualizations✨ Community chats and live Q&A calls with Abby_________ Subscribe to the Love Letter and get my little messages each week! https://abbymedcalf.com/loveletter-opt-in/ 👉 Pick up a copy of my new book, Boundaries Made Easy: Your Roadmap to Connection, Easy and Joy: https://abbymedcalf.com/boundaries 👉 Pick up The Workbook: Boundaries Made Easier to use as a companion to the book or as a standalone masterclass: https://abbymedcalf.com/boundaries-workbook 👉 Buy my #1 bestselling book on Amazon, Be Happily Married: Even If Your Partner Won’t Do a Thing: https://abbymedcalf.com/book ____________________________Looking for past episodes of the Relationships Made Easy Podcast? Head over to https://abbymedcalf.com/podcast-the-archives where you’ll find past episodes.Ready to dig deeper? Take one of my online courses (some are FREE!) or grab a workbook: https://abbymedcalf.com/shopSay hello on social:Substack: https://substack.com/@abbymedcalfphdInstagram: https://www.instagram.com/abbymedcalfthrivingLinkedIn: https://linkedin.com/in/abbymedcalfthrivingYouTube: https://abbymedcalf.com/youtube Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
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356. When Kindness Has Claws: Dealing With Relational Aggression
Ever had someone freeze you out of a group text? Spread just enough gossip to make you doubt yourself? Smile to your face while subtly undermining you behind your back? That’s not just “drama,” it’s a form of bullying called relational aggression, and it can wreck friendships, families, and entire communities if it’s left unchecked. It’s not just drama. It’s emotional sabotage. Today, I’m breaking down what relational aggression really is, why it’s so destructive, and the research-backed strategies to protect yourself and stop the cycle, whether you’re dealing with family gatherings, sorority politics, or your neighborhood book club._________ Full blog and show notes: https://abbymedcalf.com/relational-aggression-how-to-recognize-it-and-stop-itGet the Relational Aggression Response Scripts: https://abbymedcalf.com/aggression-scripts Join my online community, One Love Collective, on Substack: https://abbymedcalf.com/substack. You'll get...✨ Early drops + ad-free podcast episodes✨ Worksheets, journal prompts, downloads, and guided visualizations✨ Community chats and live Q&A calls with Abby_________ Subscribe to the Love Letter and get my little messages each week! https://abbymedcalf.com/loveletter-opt-in/ 👉 Pick up a copy of my new book, Boundaries Made Easy: Your Roadmap to Connection, Easy and Joy: https://abbymedcalf.com/boundaries 👉 Pick up The Workbook: Boundaries Made Easier to use as a companion to the book or as a standalone masterclass: https://abbymedcalf.com/boundaries-workbook 👉 Buy my #1 bestselling book on Amazon, Be Happily Married: Even If Your Partner Won’t Do a Thing: https://abbymedcalf.com/book ____________________________Looking for past episodes of the Relationships Made Easy Podcast? Head over to https://abbymedcalf.com/podcast-the-archives where you’ll find past episodes.Ready to dig deeper? Take one of my online courses (some are FREE!) or grab a workbook: https://abbymedcalf.com/shopSay hello on social:Substack: https://substack.com/@abbymedcalfphdInstagram: https://www.instagram.com/abbymedcalfthrivingLinkedIn: https://linkedin.com/in/abbymedcalfthrivingYouTube: https://abbymedcalf.com/youtube Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
The research says the key to a happy life is happy relationships. But how exactly do you make your relationships better? That’s what this show is all about. I’m Dr. Abby Medcalf, psychologist, best-selling author, TEDx speaker, and (according to my kids) the bossy Jewish mom you didn’t know you needed. With decades of experience and millions of listeners in over 180 countries, I give you the no-fluff, research-backed strategies to make all your relationships better: with your partner, your family, your friends, and (most importantly) yourself. Every week on the Relationships Made Easy podcast, I mix straight talk, humor, and science to help you communicate effectively, set healthy boundaries, and stop second-guessing yourself. Because great relationships aren’t built in a day. Great relationships are built daily. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
South Africa