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Relationships Made Easy

Dr. Abby Medcalf
Relationships Made Easy
Latest episode

402 episodes

  • Relationships Made Easy

    392. How Do You Actually Build Emotional Intimacy?

    2026/07/20 | 46 mins.
    You can be married for thirty years and still feel lonely with the person sleeping next to you. If this is (or has been you), what you’ve actually been missing isn’t more time together, more sex, or more communication. You’re missing emotional intimacy. Today I’m walking you through what emotional intimacy actually is, the four things people confuse it with, why it’s so hard to build, the four building blocks that make it real, and exactly how to start practicing each one… starting today.
    ____________________________
    Full blog and show notes: https://abbymedcalf.com/how-to-build-emotional-intimacy
    Grab today’s free download: The Emotional Intimacy Audit: A Quick Scorecard to See Where You Actually Stand: https://abbymedcalf.com/emotional-intimacy-audit
    Join my online community, One Love Collective, on Substack: https://abbymedcalf.com/substack.
    You'll get...
    ✨ Early drops + ad-free podcast episodes
    ✨ Worksheets, journal prompts, downloads, and guided visualizations
    ✨ Community chats and live Q&A calls with Abby
    _________
    👉 Subscribe to the Love Letter and get my little messages each week! 
    https://abbymedcalf.com/loveletter-opt-in/ 
    👉 Pick up a copy of my new book, Boundaries Made Easy: Your Roadmap to Connection, Ease and Joy: https://abbymedcalf.com/boundaries
    👉 Pick up The Workbook: Boundaries Made Easier to use as a companion to the book or as a standalone masterclass: https://abbymedcalf.com/boundaries-workbook
    👉 Buy my #1 bestselling book on Amazon, Be Happily Married: Even If Your Partner Won’t Do a Thing: https://abbymedcalf.com/book 
    ____________________________
    Looking for past episodes of the Relationships Made Easy Podcast? Head over to https://abbymedcalf.com/podcast-the-archives where you’ll find past episodes.
    Ready to dig deeper? Take one of my online courses (some are FREE!) or grab a workbook: https://abbymedcalf.com/resources
    Say hello on social:
    Substack: https://substack.com/@abbymedcalfphd
    Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/abbymedcalfthriving
    LinkedIn: https://linkedin.com/in/abbymedcalfthriving
    TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@abbymedcalfphd 
    YouTube: https://abbymedcalf.com/youtube

    Our Sponsors:
    * Check out Quince and use my code quince.com/rme for a great deal: https://www.quince.com
    * Check out Upwork and use my code upwork.com for a great deal: https://www.upwork.com

    Advertising Inquiries: https://redcircle.com/brands

    Privacy & Opt-Out: https://redcircle.com/privacy
  • Relationships Made Easy

    391. How Do You Know If You’re Really in Love?

    2026/07/13 | 47 mins.
    Today I’m going to walk you through what “in love” really means at the brain level (spoiler: it’s not just chemistry), why fear sounds so much like love your nervous system can’t tell them apart, the four fear thoughts that masquerade as love and how to spot each one, what real love feels like in your body, and how this should look at different stages of a relationship so you can tell whether you’re in love at the beginning, the middle, or the long-haul phase you might be in right now.
    ____________________________
    Full blog and show notes: https://abbymedcalf.com/how-to-know-if-youre-in-love
    Free Download: Am I in Love or Just Afraid? It’s a quick scorecard that’ll help you walk through this exact test on your own relationship: https://abbymedcalf.com/am-i-in-love
    Join my online community, One Love Collective, on Substack: https://abbymedcalf.com/substack.
    You'll get...
    ✨ Early drops + ad-free podcast episodes
    ✨ Worksheets, journal prompts, downloads, and guided visualizations
    ✨ Community chats and live Q&A calls with Abby
    _________
     👉 Subscribe to the Love Letter and get my little messages each week! 
    https://abbymedcalf.com/loveletter-opt-in/  
    👉 Pick up a copy of my new book, Boundaries Made Easy: Your Roadmap to Connection, Ease and Joy: https://abbymedcalf.com/boundaries
    👉 Pick up The Workbook: Boundaries Made Easier to use as a companion to the book or as a standalone masterclass: https://abbymedcalf.com/boundaries-workbook
    👉 Buy my #1 bestselling book on Amazon, Be Happily Married: Even If Your Partner Won’t Do a Thing: https://abbymedcalf.com/book 
    ____________________________
    Looking for past episodes of the Relationships Made Easy Podcast? Head over to https://abbymedcalf.com/podcast-the-archives where you’ll find past episodes.
    Ready to dig deeper? Take one of my online courses (some are FREE!) or grab a workbook: https://abbymedcalf.com/resources
    Say hello on social:
    Substack: https://substack.com/@abbymedcalfphd
    Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/abbymedcalfthriving
    LinkedIn: https://linkedin.com/in/abbymedcalfthriving
    TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@abbymedcalfphd 
    YouTube: https://abbymedcalf.com/youtube

    Our Sponsors:
    * Check out Quince and use my code quince.com/rme for a great deal: https://www.quince.com
    * Check out Upwork and use my code upwork.com for a great deal: https://www.upwork.com

    Advertising Inquiries: https://redcircle.com/brands

    Privacy & Opt-Out: https://redcircle.com/privacy
  • Relationships Made Easy

    390. “But It Felt So Real”: Why Red Flags Don’t Look Like Red Flags

    2026/07/06 | 47 mins.
    Today I’m not doing the standard “look for red flags” thing. Ugh, I hate that phrase. It puts the whole burden on you to spot something that, by its nature, doesn’t look like a flag at all. (And then when you don’t see it, somehow that’s your fault? Nope. Stop. We’re not doing that here.)
    The reason red flags feel like green flags is that high-intensity behaviors mimic the outputs of real love, things like attention, certainty, and devotion, without including any of the inputs, things like time, consistency, and being actually known. So today I’m walking you through eight specific behaviors that consistently get mistaken for green flags, plus one tool, the Pace Test, that does the work of all of them at once. You’re going to leave with a real radar for this.
    ____________________________
    Full blog and show notes: https://abbymedcalf.com/red-flags-look-like-green-flags
    Free Download: Is This a Green Flag or Just a Fast Flag?: A Quick Self-Check for Early Dating. Use this tool the next time you’re in early dating, or to look back honestly at a past relationship and see what you might have been picking up on: https://abbymedcalf.com/green-flag-fast-flag
    Join my online community, One Love Collective, on Substack: https://abbymedcalf.com/substack.
    You'll get...
    ✨ Early drops + ad-free podcast episodes
    ✨ Worksheets, journal prompts, downloads, and guided visualizations
    ✨ Community chats and live Q&A calls with Abby
    _________
     👉 Subscribe to the Love Letter and get my little messages each week! 
    https://abbymedcalf.com/loveletter-opt-in/  
    👉 Pick up a copy of my new book, Boundaries Made Easy: Your Roadmap to Connection, Ease and Joy: https://abbymedcalf.com/boundaries
    👉 Pick up The Workbook: Boundaries Made Easier to use as a companion to the book or as a standalone masterclass: https://abbymedcalf.com/boundaries-workbook
    👉 Buy my #1 bestselling book on Amazon, Be Happily Married: Even If Your Partner Won’t Do a Thing: https://abbymedcalf.com/book 
    ____________________________
    Looking for past episodes of the Relationships Made Easy Podcast? Head over to https://abbymedcalf.com/podcast-the-archives where you’ll find past episodes.
    Ready to dig deeper? Take one of my online courses (some are FREE!) or grab a workbook: https://abbymedcalf.com/resources
    Say hello on social:
    Substack: https://substack.com/@abbymedcalfphd
    Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/abbymedcalfthriving
    LinkedIn: https://linkedin.com/in/abbymedcalfthriving
    TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@abbymedcalfphd 
    YouTube: https://abbymedcalf.com/youtube

    Our Sponsors:
    * Check out Quince and use my code quince.com/rme for a great deal: https://www.quince.com
    * Check out Upwork and use my code upwork.com for a great deal: https://www.upwork.com

    Advertising Inquiries: https://redcircle.com/brands

    Privacy & Opt-Out: https://redcircle.com/privacy
  • Relationships Made Easy

    389. Why You Always Feel Like an Afterthought

    2026/06/29 | 43 mins.
    You wanted them to choose you without being asked because you believe that if you have to ask, it doesn’t really count. You want a partner who puts their work down first. The parent who calls to see how you're doing. The friend who reaches out for no reason. When they don't, something in you decides it means there’s something wrong with you, and you add it to a growing list of evidence that you're the afterthought. But wanting to be chosen is a real psychological need, not neediness. The problem isn't the wanting, it's a belief you're probably carrying about what asking means. Today we'll name the five things you actually need to feel safe and seen in a close relationship, the belief that's quietly eroding yours, and a three-step process I call the 3 A's for getting out of the trap.
    ____________________________
    Full blog and show notes: https://abbymedcalf.com/why-you-feel-like-an-afterthought
    Download Am I Running a Silent Test? A Quick Self-Assessment, which walks you through spotting your own Silent Tests and running the 3 A's, step by step: https://abbymedcalf.com/silent-test
    Join my online community, One Love Collective, on Substack: https://abbymedcalf.com/substack.
    You'll get...
    ✨ Early drops + ad-free podcast episodes
    ✨ Worksheets, journal prompts, downloads, and guided visualizations
    ✨ Community chats and live Q&A calls with Abby
    _________
     Subscribe to the Love Letter and get my little messages each week! 
    https://abbymedcalf.com/loveletter-opt-in/ 
    👉 Pick up a copy of my new book, Boundaries Made Easy: Your Roadmap to Connection, Ease and Joy: https://abbymedcalf.com/boundaries
    👉 Pick up The Workbook: Boundaries Made Easier to use as a companion to the book or as a standalone masterclass: https://abbymedcalf.com/boundaries-workbook
    👉 Buy my #1 bestselling book on Amazon, Be Happily Married: Even If Your Partner Won’t Do a Thing: https://abbymedcalf.com/book 
    ____________________________
    Looking for past episodes of the Relationships Made Easy Podcast? Head over to https://abbymedcalf.com/podcast-the-archives where you’ll find past episodes.
    Ready to dig deeper? Take one of my online courses (some are FREE!) or grab a workbook: https://abbymedcalf.com/shop
    A great idea to stay motivated and keep your head in a positive direction is to buy some of my fabulous, inspirational merchandise. Get yourself a t-shirt, mug, tote bag or notebook with that daily reminder that you’ve got this! https://abbymedcalf.com/shop
    Say hello on social:
    Substack: https://substack.com/@abbymedcalfphd
    Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/abbymedcalfthriving
    LinkedIn: https://linkedin.com/in/abbymedcalfthriving
    TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@abbymedcalfphd 
    YouTube: https://abbymedcalf.com/youtube

    Our Sponsors:
    * Check out Quince and use my code quince.com/rme for a great deal: https://www.quince.com
    * Check out Upwork and use my code upwork.com for a great deal: https://www.upwork.com

    Advertising Inquiries: https://redcircle.com/brands

    Privacy & Opt-Out: https://redcircle.com/privacy
  • Relationships Made Easy

    388. Why Fairness Is Destroying Your Relationship

    2026/06/23 | 45 mins.
    That's not fair.
    You said it as a kid. You've thought it as an adult. Maybe you thought it this morning when you were loading the dishwasher while your partner sat on the couch. Maybe you thought it when you were the one who made the dinner and then also had to clean up because somehow that's just how it goes. Maybe you're thinking it right now, because you're the one reading this, trying to figure out how to make things better, and why are you always the one who has to make changes when they're not doing anything? That's not fair either.
    Fairness is one of the most universal thoughts humans have. And it's also one of the most quietly destructive forces in a relationship. Today, I'm going to show you why the fairness argument keeps you stuck, what the research says about what's happening in your brain when things feel unfair, and the one question that will change everything the next time you feel the resentment starting to build. You're going to leave this episode with a completely different way of thinking about fairness, and I promise it's going to change how you show up in every relationship in your life.
    ____________________________
    Full blog and show notes: https://abbymedcalf.com/fairness-relationships-why-it-backfires
    Grab The Fairness Reframe: The One Question That Stops Resentment Before It Starts: https://abbymedcalf.com/fairness-reframe
    Join my online community, One Love Collective, on Substack: https://abbymedcalf.com/substack.
    You'll get...
    ✨ Early drops + ad-free podcast episodes
    ✨ Worksheets, journal prompts, downloads, and guided visualizations
    ✨ Community chats and live Q&A calls with Abby
    _________
     Subscribe to the Love Letter and get my little messages each week! 
    https://abbymedcalf.com/loveletter-opt-in/ 
    👉 Pick up a copy of my new book, Boundaries Made Easy: Your Roadmap to Connection, Ease and Joy: https://abbymedcalf.com/boundaries 
    👉 Pick up The Workbook: Boundaries Made Easier to use as a companion to the book or as a standalone masterclass: https://abbymedcalf.com/boundaries-workbook
    👉 Buy my #1 bestselling book on Amazon, Be Happily Married: Even If Your Partner Won’t Do a Thing: https://abbymedcalf.com/book 
    ____________________________
    Looking for past episodes of the Relationships Made Easy Podcast? Head over to https://abbymedcalf.com/podcast-the-archives where you’ll find past episodes.
    Ready to dig deeper? Take one of my online courses (some are FREE!) or grab a workbook: https://abbymedcalf.com/shop
    A great idea to stay motivated and keep your head in a positive direction is to buy some of my fabulous, inspirational merchandise. Get yourself a t-shirt, mug, tote bag or notebook with that daily reminder that you’ve got this! https://abbymedcalf.com/shop
    Say hello on social:
    Substack: https://substack.com/@abbymedcalfphd
    Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/abbymedcalfthriving
    LinkedIn: https://linkedin.com/in/abbymedcalfthriving
    TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@abbymedcalfphd 
    YouTube: https://abbymedcalf.com/youtube
     

    Our Sponsors:
    * Check out Quince and use my code quince.com/rme for a great deal: https://www.quince.com
    * Check out Upwork and use my code upwork.com for a great deal: https://www.upwork.com

    Advertising Inquiries: https://redcircle.com/brands

    Privacy & Opt-Out: https://redcircle.com/privacy
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About Relationships Made Easy
The research says the key to a happy life is happy relationships. But how exactly do you make your relationships better? That’s what this show is all about. I’m Dr. Abby Medcalf, psychologist, best-selling author, TEDx speaker, and (according to my kids) the bossy Jewish mom you didn’t know you needed. With decades of experience and millions of listeners in over 180 countries, I give you the no-fluff, research-backed strategies to make all your relationships better: with your partner, your family, your friends, and (most importantly) yourself. Every week on the Relationships Made Easy podcast, I mix straight talk, humor, and science to help you communicate effectively, set healthy boundaries, and stop second-guessing yourself. Because great relationships aren’t built in a day. Great relationships are built daily.
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