Dismissive Avoidants Don’t Chase — Here’s What It Means
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Dismissive Avoidants don’t chase — but that doesn’t mean they don’t care. Often, their withdrawal comes not from indifference but from deep-seated fear and subconscious self-protection. Understanding why they pull away is the first step to seeing the truth behind their behaviour.
In this video, Thais Gibson explains what it really means when a Dismissive Avoidant doesn’t chase, why vulnerability feels unsafe for them, and how their subconscious beliefs shape their decisions. You’ll gain clarity on their withdrawal patterns and learn how to respond in a way that preserves your emotional health.
You’ll learn:
✅ Why vulnerability triggers fear in Dismissive Avoidants
✅ How subconscious beliefs block them from pursuing connection
✅ The self-protective thought patterns they rely on when feeling threatened
✅ Why “it’s easier to be alone” becomes their default choice
✅ How shame wounds influence their ability to sustain closeness
Episode Breakdown:
00:00 – Intro
00:27 – 1. Dismissive Avoidants Are Terrified of Vulnerability
01:42 – 2. Dismissive Avoidants Are Constantly in Their Feelings, Minus Their Fears
03:03 – 3. Dismissive Avoidants Believe That It’s Easy to Be Alone
05:06 – Integrated Attachment Theory™ Certification
06:00 – 4. Dismissive Avoidants Lack Healthy Modelling of Healthy Relationships
06:57 – 5. Dismissive Avoidants Have a “Defectiveness” Core Wound
08:07 – Initiate the Conversation, Set a Deadline, and Vet the Person
08:52 – Conclusion
Meet the Host
Thais Gibson is the founder of The Personal Development School and a world leader in attachment theory. With a Ph.D. and over a dozen certifications, she’s helped more than 70,000 people reprogram their subconscious and build thriving relationships.
Helpful Resources:
🧠 Take the Free Attachment Style Quiz
https://attachment.personaldevelopmentschool.com/?utm_source=podcast&utm_campaign=attachment-quiz&utm_medium=organic&el=podcast
📚 Read the Learning Love Book
https://attachment.personaldevelopmentschool.com/learning-love?utm_source=podcast&utm_campaign=learning-love&utm_medium=organic&el=podcast
🎧 Discover Podcast Episodes
https://attachment.personaldevelopmentschool.com/podcast?page=1
📝 Read the PDS Blog
https://blog.personaldevelopmentschool.com/
Let’s Connect on Socials:
📸 Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/thepersonaldevelopmentschool/
📘 Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/ThePersonalDevelopmentSchool
🎵 TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@thaisgibson
💼 LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/company/thepersonaldevelopmentschool/
#DismissiveAvoidant #AttachmentStyles #AvoidantAttachment #RelationshipAdvice #EmotionalHealing #ThaisGibson #ThePersonalDevelopmentSchool #AttachmentTheory #FearOfIntimacy #AttachmentHealing
Understanding these dynamics will help you stop overthinking their absence and start recognizing what it truly means when a Dismissive Avoidant doesn’t chase.
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Have you ever been dating a Fearful Avoidant and everything seemed to be going great — until suddenly, they pulled away and lost interest? Or maybe you are a Fearful Avoidant and can’t understand why you sometimes go cold, even when things are good.
In this video, Thais Gibson breaks down 5 key reasons fearful avoidants suddenly lose attraction — and what you can do to prevent it from happening, whether you’re dating one or healing as one.
You’ll learn:
✅ Why broken trust instantly shuts down a Fearful Avoidant’s connection
✅ How anxious pressure or crossed boundaries trigger loss of attraction
✅ The “expectation overload” that makes them pull back fast
✅ Why feeling trapped activates their powerful flight response
✅ How unmet needs and emotional burnout lead to sudden detachment
Episode Breakdown:
00:00 – Intro
00:47 – Reason 1: Their Trust is Broken
01:43 – Reason 2: Violated Their Boundaries
02:53 – Reason 3: Unreal Expectations on Them
03:40 – Attachment Styles & Intimacy Course
04:21 – Reason 4: Feeling Trapped
05:05 – Reason 5: They Feel It's a One-Sided Relationship
06:43 – Conclusion
Meet the Host
Thais Gibson is the founder of The Personal Development School and a world leader in attachment theory. With a Ph.D. and over a dozen certifications, she’s helped more than 70,000 people reprogram their subconscious and build thriving relationships.
Helpful Resources:
🧠 Take the Free Attachment Style Quiz
https://attachment.personaldevelopmentschool.com/?utm_source=podcast&utm_campaign=attachment-quiz&utm_medium=organic&el=podcast
📚 Read the Learning Love Book
https://attachment.personaldevelopmentschool.com/learning-love?utm_source=podcast&utm_campaign=learning-love&utm_medium=organic&el=podcast
🎧 Discover Podcast Episodes
https://attachment.personaldevelopmentschool.com/podcast?page=1
📝 Read the PDS Blog
https://blog.personaldevelopmentschool.com/
Let’s Connect on Socials:
📸 Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/thepersonaldevelopmentschool/
📘 Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/ThePersonalDevelopmentSchool
🎵 TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@thaisgibson
💼 LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/company/thepersonaldevelopmentschool/
#FearfulAvoidant #DisorganizedAttachment #AttachmentStyles #ThaisGibson #AttachmentTheory #AvoidantAttachment #HealingRelationships #PersonalDevelopmentSchool #RelationshipAdvice #EmotionalConnection #AttachmentHealing
If you’ve ever wondered why a Fearful Avoidant loses interest so abruptly — or how to stop this pattern before it ruins a great relationship — this video will help you understand exactly what’s going on beneath the surface.
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6:51
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6:51
When a Dismissive Avoidant Acts Like Your Partner… But Won’t Commit
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https://attachment.personaldevelopmentschool.com/dream-life-sex-course?utm_source=podcast&utm_campaign=dream-life-sex-course&utm_medium=organic&utm_content=pod-10-07-25&el=podcast
They text you every day, spend weekends with you, and act like you’re together, yet freeze or pull back the moment commitment comes up. Sound familiar? In this video, Thais Gibson breaks down why dismissive avoidants often behave like partners without committing, revealing the emotional roadblocks, childhood conditioning, and subconscious fears driving their behavior.
You’ll also learn how to recognize the difference between emotional unavailability and genuine potential, plus practical tools to protect your heart, communicate your needs, and decide when to stay—or walk away.
You’ll learn:
✅ The four key reasons dismissive avoidants resist commitment—even when they care deeply
✅ Why emotional intimacy feels unsafe due to childhood neglect or unmet needs
✅ How vulnerability and commitment trigger subconscious fear and shame
✅ Why poor conflict-resolution skills cause long-term resentment and withdrawal
✅ How communication gaps make both partners feel misunderstood and criticized
✅ What “Integrated Attachment Theory™” teaches about repairing connection and building trust
Video Breakdown (Timestamps):
00:00 – Intro
00:37 – The Four Attachment Styles
01:11 – 1. Emotional Connection Wasn’t Modeled in Childhood
04:17 – 2. Dismissive Avoidants Struggle With Vulnerability
05:39 – Integrated Attachment Theory™ Certification
06:33 – 3. Why They Don’t Know How to Resolve Conflict
09:46 – 4. Why They Feel Misunderstood and Criticized
12:10 – Conclusion
Meet the Host
Thais Gibson is the founder of The Personal Development School and a world leader in attachment theory. With a Ph.D. and over a dozen certifications, she’s helped more than 70,000 people reprogram their subconscious and build thriving relationships.
Helpful Resources:
🧠 Take the Free Attachment Style Quiz
https://attachment.personaldevelopmentschool.com/?utm_source=podcast&utm_campaign=attachment-quiz&utm_medium=organic&el=podcast
📚 Read the Learning Love Book
https://attachment.personaldevelopmentschool.com/learning-love?utm_source=podcast&utm_campaign=learning-love&utm_medium=organic&el=podcast
🎧 Discover More Podcast Episodes
https://attachment.personaldevelopmentschool.com/podcast?page=1
📝 Read the PDS Blog
https://blog.personaldevelopmentschool.com/
Let’s Connect on Socials:
📸 Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/thepersonaldevelopmentschool/
📘 Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/ThePersonalDevelopmentSchool
🎵 TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@thaisgibson
💼 LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/company/thepersonaldevelopmentschool/
#DismissiveAvoidant #AvoidantAttachment #AttachmentStyles #ThaisGibson #AttachmentHealing #RelationshipAdvice #EmotionalIntelligence #BoundariesMatter #SecureLove #RelationshipHealing
They act like your partner but resist commitment. Discover the emotional patterns behind dismissive avoidant behavior and how to respond with clarity and strength. Don’t forget to subscribe, rate, and share this episode. 💗
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12:54
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12:54
If An Avoidant Does These 4 Things They’re Discarding You
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Dismissive Avoidants rarely come out and say “I’m done.” Instead, they show it through subtle but powerful patterns, often long before the actual breakup happens. In this episode, Thais Gibson breaks down the four unmistakable signs that an avoidant is emotionally checking out and shares how to protect your self-worth, regulate your nervous system, and set healthy boundaries before it’s too late.
Drawing on neuroscience and ancient wisdom, Thais explains how oxytocin drops, cortisol spikes, and emotional disconnection create chaos in relationships—and how to use self-awareness and communication to stop the spiral and regain control.
You’ll learn:
✅ The four red flags that signal a dismissive avoidant is preparing to leave
✅ How “flaw finding” and subtle criticism act as deactivation strategies
✅ Why they replace intimacy with creature comforts like work or hobbies
✅ The neuroscience of emotional withdrawal and bonding disruption
✅ How to use pattern interruption and self-regulation to stop self-blame
✅ The boundaries and conversations that separate healing from heartbreak
Video Breakdown (Timestamps):
00:00 – Intro
00:53 – 1. If You See Them Shutting Down Emotionally
01:52 – 2. If There Are Sudden Devaluing Behaviors or Comments
04:59 – Attachment Styles & Intimacy Promo
05:31 – 3. Replacing Intimacy with Creature Comforts
06:51 – The Neuroscience Behind Relational Distress
09:16 – Pattern Interrupt
11:29 – Setting Clear Boundaries
13:44 – Ancient Wisdom on Self-Consideration
15:30 – 4. When They Stop Communicating
16:41 – Conclusion
Meet the Host
Thais Gibson is the founder of The Personal Development School and a world leader in attachment theory. With a Ph.D. and over a dozen certifications, she’s helped more than 70,000 people reprogram their subconscious and build thriving relationships.
Helpful Resources:
🧠 Take the Free Attachment Style Quiz
https://attachment.personaldevelopmentschool.com/?utm_source=podcast&utm_campaign=attachment-quiz&utm_medium=organic&el=podcast
📚 Read the Learning Love Book
https://attachment.personaldevelopmentschool.com/learning-love?utm_source=podcast&utm_campaign=learning-love&utm_medium=organic&el=podcast
🎧 Discover More Podcast Episodes
https://attachment.personaldevelopmentschool.com/podcast?page=1
📝 Read the PDS Blog
https://blog.personaldevelopmentschool.com/
Let’s Connect on Socials:
📸 Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/thepersonaldevelopmentschool/
📘 Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/ThePersonalDevelopmentSchool
🎵 TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@thaisgibson
💼 LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/company/thepersonaldevelopmentschool/
#DismissiveAvoidant #AvoidantAttachment #AttachmentHealing #ThaisGibson #RelationshipAdvice #EmotionalIntelligence #AttachmentStyles #BoundariesMatter #BreakupRecovery #SecureLove
When an avoidant starts to pull away, it’s not random, it’s patterned. Learn to spot the signs early and protect your peace before it’s too late. Don’t forget to subscribe, rate, and share this episode. 💗
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16:51
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16:51
The Shocking Thing the Fearful Avoidant Struggles With Most!
Unlock Deeper Intimacy Starting Today. Get 7 Days Free Plus Lifetime Access to Our Attachment Styles & Intimacy Course and Finally Transform Your Relationships for Good!
https://attachment.personaldevelopmentschool.com/dream-life-sex-course?utm_source=podcast&utm_campaign=dream-life-sex-course&utm_medium=organic&utm_content=pod-10-05-25&el=podcast
Many Fearful Avoidants see themselves as fiercely independent—until real feelings and vulnerability take hold. Suddenly, emotional dependency sneaks in, making it feel like you lose yourself in the relationship. If this resonates, you’re not alone—and there is a way to break free from the push-pull cycles.
In this video, Thais Gibson reveals the hidden signs of emotional dependency for Fearful Avoidants, the neuroscience and childhood roots behind it, and the exact steps you can take to heal so you can love deeply without losing yourself.
You’ll learn:
✅ The 3 key signs of emotional dependency in Fearful Avoidant relationships
✅ How attachment trauma in childhood wires the brain for dependency cycles
✅ Why independence flips into preoccupation when real feelings develop
✅ How neuroscience explains the highs, lows, and nervous system disruption the Fearful Avoidant's experience
✅ 3 practical steps to heal, regulate, and create secure interdependent relationships
Episode Breakdown:
00:00 – Intro
01:14 – Have You Lost Yourself in a Relationship Before?
01:41 – 1. When Feelings Get Real, You Feel You Are Over-identifying With Your Partner
03:29 – 2. Although Difficult to Ask, You Seek Reassurance in a Relationship
05:12 – Attachment Styles and Intimacy Promo
05:48 – 3. You Sometimes Feel Emotional Highs and Lows
07:09 – The Neuroscience Behind the Fearful Avoidant Attachment Style
10:34 – Step 1: Learn to Meet Your Own Needs
11:44 – Step 2: Have a Relationship With Yourself Outside of Your Romantic Relationship
12:53 – Step 3: Rewire Old Triggers From Past Relationships
13:38 – Ancient Wisdom on Self-Love
14:49 – Conclusion
Meet the Host
Thais Gibson is the founder of The Personal Development School and a world leader in attachment theory. With a Ph.D. and over a dozen certifications, she’s helped more than 70,000 people reprogram their subconscious and build thriving relationships.
Helpful Resources:
🧠 Take the Free Attachment Style Quiz
https://attachment.personaldevelopmentschool.com/?utm_source=podcast&utm_campaign=attachment-quiz&utm_medium=organic&el=podcast
📚 Read the Learning Love Book
https://attachment.personaldevelopmentschool.com/learning-love?utm_source=podcast&utm_campaign=learning-love&utm_medium=organic&el=podcast
🎧 Discover More Podcast Episodes
https://attachment.personaldevelopmentschool.com/podcast?page=1
📝 Read the PDS Blog
https://blog.personaldevelopmentschool.com/
Let’s Connect on Socials:
📸 Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/thepersonaldevelopmentschool/
📘 Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/ThePersonalDevelopmentSchool
🎵 TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@thaisgibson
💼 LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/company/thepersonaldevelopmentschool/
#FearfulAvoidant #AttachmentStyles #EmotionalDependency #AttachmentTheory #Relationships #Healing
Fearful Avoidants often feel independent until deep feelings trigger hidden emotional dependency. This episode explains why it happens and how you can heal to keep your sense of self while building healthy, lasting relationships.
Welcome to The Thais Gibson Podcast, where transformation happens fast and lasts a lifetime. Tune in for expert insights on breaking free from repetitive patterns, practical steps for reprogramming your subconscious mind, and empowering conversations that will inspire you to evolve into your best self across all aspects of life!