Breakthrough with Thais Gibson Podcast

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Have you ever walked away from someone who wasn’t showing up for you—only to immediately wonder if you gave up too soon?

That guilt doesn’t necessarily mean you made the wrong decision. Sometimes, it comes from a deeply ingrained pattern of putting other people’s feelings, needs, and experiences ahead of your own.

In this episode, Thais Gibson sits down with Brian to explore rebuilding trust in relationships, navigating hypervigilance while dating, and learning how to honor your boundaries without weaponizing your empathy against yourself.

They unpack why noticing every subtle shift in someone’s behavior can make dating feel exhausting, how over-adapting can lead to self-abandonment, and why healthy relationships require you to consider your own feelings and needs just as much as you consider someone else’s.

You’ll also learn practical exercises for working through chronic guilt, strengthening your relationship with your boundaries, and becoming more rooted in yourself while dating.

In This Episode, You’ll Learn:
• Why hypervigilance can make dating and relationships feel confusing
• How to distinguish observation from overanalysis
• Why “matching someone’s energy” can pull you away from your authentic self
• How empathy can become a trap when you stop considering your own needs
• Why repeatedly abandoning your boundaries can reinforce betrayal wounds
• How to communicate needs without trying to control another person
• Why incompatibility doesn’t mean either person is bad or lacking value
• How to recognize when you’ve genuinely tried enough in a relationship
• A daily guilt and boundary practice for reducing self-abandonment
• How to identify and communicate your core relationship needs

TIMESTAMPS

00:00 – When Giving Someone Another Chance Stops Feeling Authentic
01:29 – Why Guilt Doesn’t Mean You Made the Wrong Decision
04:30 – How Hypervigilance Shows Up in Dating
08:37 – How Much Communication Is Reasonable in Early Dating?
16:07 – Why “Matching Their Energy” Can Become a Trap
22:38 – How You Can Weaponize Your Empathy Against Yourself
27:12 – The Connection Between Guilt, Shame, and Abandonment
35:44 – How Self-Betrayal Keeps Betrayal Wounds Alive
38:58 – The Daily Guilt and Boundary Practice
42:11 – 5 Core Needs to Look for in a Relationship
52:18 – When Should You Communicate Your Needs?
56:35 – The Daily Practice for Ending Self-Betrayal

Meet Thais
Thais Gibson, PhD, is a Best-Selling Author, Pastoral Counselor, Relationship Coach, and the founder of The Personal Development School (PDS). Between 2013 and 2019, she developed Integrated Attachment Theory® (IAT), the Six-Step Method to Becoming Secure, a framework rooted in neuroscience, attachment theory, psychology, and spirituality, trademarked in October 2021. IAT works across six pillars:

✔ Rewire Your Attachment Core Wounds
✔ Learn Your Attachment Needs
✔ Regulate Your Nervous System Somatically
✔ Learn Healthy Boundaries
✔ Improve Communication
✔ Rewire Your Unhealthy Protest Behaviors

Since opening in 2020, PDS has grown to serve over 70,000 students in 145 countries, achieving a 97% satisfaction rate and helping people reprogram their subconscious patterns and build thriving, secure relationships.

Helpful Resources:

🧠 Take the Free Attachment Style Quiz
https://attachment.personaldevelopmentschool.com/?utm_source=podcast&utm_campaign=attachment-quiz&utm_medium=organic&el=podcast

📘 Become an IAT Relationship Coach
https://attachment.personaldevelopmentschool.com/iat?utm_source=podcast&utm_campaign=iat&utm_medium=organic&el=podcast

📚 Read the New Attachment Theory Book
https://attachment.personaldevelopmentschool.com/book/the-new-attachment-theory?utm_source=podcast&utm_campaign=the-new-attachment-theory&utm_medium=organic&el=podcast

🎧 Discover Podcast Episodes
https://attachment.personaldevelopmentschool.com/podcast?utm_source=podcast&utm_campaign=podcast-page&utm_medium=organic&el=podcast

📝 Read the PDS Blog
https://blog.personaldevelopmentschool.com/

Let’s Connect on Socials:
📸 Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/thepersonaldevelopmentschool/
📘 Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/ThePersonalDevelopmentSchool
🎵 TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@thaisgibson
💼 LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/company/thepersonaldevelopmentschool/

Learn Somatic Tools to Regulate Emotions, Heal Triggers & Calm Your Nervous System:
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Do you find yourself criticizing, judging, or shaming yourself when you make a mistake? Sometimes, the way we speak to ourselves can reinforce a painful punishment-and-reward cycle, where we only allow ourselves to feel good enough when we believe we’ve done something “right.”

In this guided process, Thais Gibson takes you through an exercise designed to help you reconnect with yourself, practice self-compassion, and begin humanizing yourself again.

Rather than simply judging yourself for a mistake or regret, you’ll be guided to look beneath the surface. You’ll explore the emotions, beliefs, fears, and patterns that may have contributed to what happened, and practice seeing yourself with greater empathy and understanding.

This process isn’t about avoiding accountability. It’s about learning how to take responsibility while also recognizing what was happening internally, so you can understand what needs healing and approach growth from a place of compassion rather than shame.

You’ll Learn:
❤️ How self-judgment can affect your relationship with yourself
❤️ How to notice emotions and sensations connected to a difficult memory
❤️ How to explore the beliefs, fears, and patterns behind past mistakes
❤️ How to see yourself from a more compassionate perspective
❤️ How to replace shame and harsh self-talk with empathy
❤️ How to identify what you may need to heal or work on moving forward
❤️ How self-compassion and accountability can exist together

Timestamps:
00:00 — What Is a Guided Process?
00:26 — Reparenting & Humanizing Yourself
00:57 — Breaking the Cycle of Self-Criticism
01:48 — Compassion, Accountability & Growth
02:47 — Guided Process Begins
03:26 — Revisiting a Mistake or Regret
03:55 — Noticing Your Emotions & Body Sensations
04:45 — Recognizing Self-Judgment
05:49 — Understanding What Led to the Mistake
06:32 — Exploring Your Thoughts & Beliefs
07:12 — Seeing Yourself as a Human Being
07:54 — Practicing Empathy Toward Yourself
08:10 — Choosing Compassion Over Shame
09:11 — What Do You Need From Yourself?
09:43 — Taking Responsibility at the Root
10:13 — Identifying What You Can Improve
10:56 — A Final Moment of Self-Compassion

Meet Thais
Thais Gibson, PhD, is a Best-Selling Author, Pastoral Counselor, Relationship Coach, and the founder of The Personal Development School (PDS). Between 2013 and 2019, she developed Integrated Attachment Theory® (IAT), the Six-Step Method to Becoming Secure, a framework rooted in neuroscience, attachment theory, psychology, and spirituality, trademarked in October 2021. IAT works across six pillars:

✔ Rewire Your Attachment Core Wounds
✔ Learn Your Attachment Needs
✔ Regulate Your Nervous System Somatically
✔ Learn Healthy Boundaries
✔ Improve Communication
✔ Rewire Your Unhealthy Protest Behaviors

Since opening in 2020, PDS has grown to serve over 70,000 students in 145 countries, achieving a 97% satisfaction rate and helping people reprogram their subconscious patterns and build thriving, secure relationships.

Helpful Resources:
🧠 Take the Free Attachment Style Quiz
https://attachment.personaldevelopmentschool.com/?utm_source=podcast&utm_campaign=attachment-quiz&utm_medium=organic&el=podcast

📘 Become an IAT Relationship Coach
https://attachment.personaldevelopmentschool.com/iat?utm_source=podcast&utm_campaign=iat&utm_medium=organic&el=podcast

📚 Read the New Attachment Theory Book
https://attachment.personaldevelopmentschool.com/book/the-new-attachment-theory?utm_source=podcast&utm_campaign=the-new-attachment-theory&utm_medium=organic&el=podcast

🎧 Discover Podcast Episodes
https://attachment.personaldevelopmentschool.com/podcast?utm_source=podcast&utm_campaign=podcast-page&utm_medium=organic&el=podcast

📝 Read the PDS Blog
https://blog.personaldevelopmentschool.com/

Let’s Connect on Socials:
📸 Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/thepersonaldevelopmentschool/

📘 Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/ThePersonalDevelopmentSchool

🎵 TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@thaisgibson

💼 LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/company/thepersonaldevelopmentschool/

Start Healing Core Wounds with Our Reparent Your Inner Child Course, Free with a 7-Day Trial to the Personal Development School
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Why can certain relationship triggers feel so overwhelming for a Fearful Avoidant—and why can the instinct to shut down, get angry, or push someone away feel almost impossible to control?

Often, underneath these reactions are deeply wounded and unmet needs that have never been fully resolved.

In this episode, Thais Gibson explores the Fearful Avoidant attachment style and the process of reparenting wounded needs. You’ll learn how unmet childhood needs can create coping mechanisms that continue into adulthood, why certain triggers can make you feel younger or more emotionally reactive, and how these patterns may contribute to relationship self-sabotage.

Thais breaks down some of the Fearful Avoidant’s most significant needs—including safety, trust, feeling seen, heard, understood, worthy of love, and having freedom and autonomy. She also explains why the moments when you most want to push someone away can point toward a deeper wound asking for your attention.

Most importantly, you’ll learn how to turn inward and begin meeting these needs in your relationship with yourself so you can create greater self-trust, self-compassion, and healthier relationship patterns.

In This Episode, You’ll Learn:
✔ How deeply unmet needs can create coping mechanisms
✔ Why unresolved needs can make emotional reactions feel young, desperate, or childlike
✔ The Fearful Avoidant’s wounded needs for safety and trust
✔ Why feeling seen, heard, understood, and worthy of love can be especially important
✔ The Fearful Avoidant’s need for freedom and autonomy
✔ Why intense anger, hurt, resentment, and abandonment fears can signal wounded needs
✔ Why pushing someone away can actually be an attempt to push emotional pain away
✔ How breaking trust with yourself can magnify trust wounds with other people
✔ Why relying entirely on another person to heal your unmet needs can create unhealthy patterns
✔ How to identify where you may be abandoning or betraying yourself
✔ How tracking your daily behaviors can reveal wounds and unmet needs
✔ How to identify what you desperately want from others and begin giving it to yourself
✔ Why self-compassion and a healthier internal dialogue are important parts of reparenting
✔ How to identify the unmet need underneath your urge to push someone away

Timestamps:
00:00 – Fearful Avoidants & Reparenting Wounded Needs
00:44 – How Unmet Needs Create Coping Mechanisms
01:29 – Why Wounded Needs Can Make You Feel Younger
02:24 – Safety & Trust as Wounded Needs
03:25 – Feeling Seen, Heard, Understood & Worthy of Love
04:37 – The Need for Freedom & Autonomy
04:46 – How to Recognize Your Wounded Needs
05:37 – Why Fearful Avoidants Push People Away
06:18 – The Pain Underneath Anger & Shutdown
07:03 – What Your Deepest Triggers Are Showing You
07:47 – Rebuilding Trust With Yourself
09:10 – Why Healing Has to Begin Within
10:15 – Questions to Identify Your Core Wounds
10:58 – Tracking Your Behaviors & Unmet Needs
11:28 – What Do You Deeply Desire From Others?
12:09 – Reparenting Through Self-Compassion
12:52 – Finding the Need Beneath Pushing Someone Away

Meet Thais
Thais Gibson, PhD, is a Best-Selling Author, Pastoral Counselor, Relationship Coach, and the founder of The Personal Development School (PDS). Between 2013 and 2019, she developed Integrated Attachment Theory® (IAT), the Six-Step Method to Becoming Secure, a framework rooted in neuroscience, attachment theory, psychology, and spirituality, trademarked in October 2021. IAT works across six pillars:

✔ Rewire Your Attachment Core Wounds
✔ Learn Your Attachment Needs
✔ Regulate Your Nervous System Somatically
✔ Learn Healthy Boundaries
✔ Improve Communication
✔ Rewire Your Unhealthy Protest Behaviors

Since opening in 2020, PDS has grown to serve over 70,000 students in 145 countries, achieving a 97% satisfaction rate and helping people reprogram their subconscious patterns and build thriving, secure relationships.

Helpful Resources:

🧠 Take the Free Attachment Style Quiz
https://attachment.personaldevelopmentschool.com/?utm_source=podcast&utm_campaign=attachment-quiz&utm_medium=organic&el=podcast

📘 Become an IAT Relationship Coach
https://attachment.personaldevelopmentschool.com/iat?utm_source=podcast&utm_campaign=iat&utm_medium=organic&el=podcast

📚 Read the New Attachment Theory Book
https://attachment.personaldevelopmentschool.com/book/the-new-attachment-theory?utm_source=podcast&utm_campaign=the-new-attachment-theory&utm_medium=organic&el=podcast

🎧 Discover Podcast Episodes
https://attachment.personaldevelopmentschool.com/podcast?utm_source=podcast&utm_campaign=podcast-page&utm_medium=organic&el=podcast

📝 Read the PDS Blog
https://blog.personaldevelopmentschool.com/

Let’s Connect on Socials:
📸 Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/thepersonaldevelopmentschool/
📘 Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/ThePersonalDevelopmentSchool
🎵 TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@thaisgibson
💼 LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/company/thepersonaldevelopmentschool/

#FearfulAvoidant #FearfulAvoidantAttachment #InnerChildHealing #Reparenting #CoreWounds #AttachmentStyles #AttachmentTheory #HealingJourney #PersonalDevelopmentSchool

Ready to start healing your core wounds and reparenting your wounded needs?

Explore Reparent Your Inner Child, free with a 7-day trial to the Personal Development School:
https://offer.personaldevelopmentschool.com/reparenting-your-inner-child?utm_source=podcast&utm_campaign=reparenting-your-inner-child&utm_medium=organic&utm_content=pod-09-30-26&el=podcast

Start Healing Core Wounds with Our Reparent Your Inner Child Course, Free with a 7-Day Trial to the Personal Development School
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Have you ever noticed that certain emotional triggers make you suddenly feel younger, overwhelmed, or unsure how to meet your own needs?

When important needs go unmet in childhood, we may grow into adulthood without developing the emotional skills, boundaries, or self-connection needed in those specific areas. That’s where reparenting can become an important part of the healing process.

In this episode, Thais Gibson explores what reparenting means, how childhood parenting experiences can influence our adult patterns, and how we can begin showing up for the wounded parts of ourselves differently.

Thais explains how this can look across attachment styles. A Dismissive Avoidant who experienced emotional neglect may struggle to identify, process, or communicate their feelings. An Anxious Preoccupied individual with abandonment wounds may repeatedly abandon their own feelings and needs while focusing on everyone else.

You’ll also learn a practical starting point for reparenting: using emotional triggers and unwanted behavioral patterns as feedback. By identifying what you feel, where you feel it in your body, what need is underneath the emotion, and how you can meet that need in a healthier way, you can begin building the skills that may have been missing earlier in life.

In This Episode, You’ll Learn:
✔ What reparenting means and how it relates to unmet childhood needs
✔ Why certain parts of our emotional development can feel “stuck” around old wounds
✔ How childhood experiences can influence the way we treat ourselves as adults
✔ How emotional neglect can affect a Dismissive Avoidant’s relationship with their emotions
✔ How abandonment wounds can influence an Anxious Preoccupied individual’s relationship with their own needs
✔ Why childhood modeling can shape subconscious relationship patterns
✔ The four major parenting styles discussed in the episode
✔ Why emotional pain can be used as feedback for healing
✔ Why a secure partner or therapist cannot replace the work of learning to meet your own needs
✔ How to recognize, label, and locate emotions in your body
✔ How to uncover the unmet need underneath an emotional trigger
✔ Why self-sabotaging behaviors may have started as survival behaviors
✔ How to replace outdated coping patterns with healthier ways of meeting your needs

Timestamps:
00:00 – Reparenting & Childhood Parenting Styles
00:59 – What Is Reparenting?
01:41 – Learning to Reparent Yourself
02:28 – How Unmet Childhood Needs Affect Adult Growth
03:17 – Dismissive Avoidant Attachment & Emotional Neglect
05:04 – Reparenting Emotional Wounds
05:24 – Anxious Preoccupied Attachment & Abandonment
06:59 – How Childhood Modeling Shapes Our Patterns
08:07 – Why Old Wounds Can Make You Feel Like a Child
08:43 – The 4 Major Parenting Styles
10:25 – Using Emotional Pain as Feedback
11:14 – Can a Secure Relationship Help You Heal?
11:37 – Why You Still Need to Reparent Yourself
12:23 – A Practical Reparenting Exercise
13:19 – Identify the Need Beneath the Trigger
13:30 – Self-Sabotaging Behaviors as Survival Strategies
14:07 – Behaviors, Unmet Needs & Reparenting

Meet Thais
Thais Gibson, PhD, is a Best-Selling Author, Pastoral Counselor, Relationship Coach, and the founder of The Personal Development School (PDS). Between 2013 and 2019, she developed Integrated Attachment Theory® (IAT), the Six-Step Method to Becoming Secure, a framework rooted in neuroscience, attachment theory, psychology, and spirituality, trademarked in October 2021. IAT works across six pillars:

✔ Rewire Your Attachment Core Wounds
✔ Learn Your Attachment Needs
✔ Regulate Your Nervous System Somatically
✔ Learn Healthy Boundaries
✔ Improve Communication
✔ Rewire Your Unhealthy Protest Behaviors

Since opening in 2020, PDS has grown to serve over 70,000 students in 145 countries, achieving a 97% satisfaction rate and helping people reprogram their subconscious patterns and build thriving, secure relationships.

Helpful Resources:

🧠 Take the Free Attachment Style Quiz
https://attachment.personaldevelopmentschool.com/?utm_source=podcast&utm_campaign=attachment-quiz&utm_medium=organic&el=podcast

📘 Become an IAT Relationship Coach
https://attachment.personaldevelopmentschool.com/iat?utm_source=podcast&utm_campaign=iat&utm_medium=organic&el=podcast

📚 Read the New Attachment Theory Book
https://attachment.personaldevelopmentschool.com/book/the-new-attachment-theory?utm_source=podcast&utm_campaign=the-new-attachment-theory&utm_medium=organic&el=podcast

🎧 Discover Podcast Episodes
https://attachment.personaldevelopmentschool.com/podcast?utm_source=podcast&utm_campaign=podcast-page&utm_medium=organic&el=podcast

📝 Read the PDS Blog
https://blog.personaldevelopmentschool.com/

Let’s Connect on Socials:
📸 Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/thepersonaldevelopmentschool/
📘 Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/ThePersonalDevelopmentSchool
🎵 TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@thaisgibson
💼 LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/company/thepersonaldevelopmentschool/

#InnerChildHealing #Reparenting #CoreWounds #AttachmentStyles #AttachmentTheory #DismissiveAvoidant #AnxiousPreoccupied #EmotionalHealing #PersonalDevelopmentSchool

Ready to start healing core wounds and build a healthier relationship with yourself?

Explore Reparent Your Inner Child, free with a 7-day trial to the Personal Development School:
https://offer.personaldevelopmentschool.com/reparenting-your-inner-child?utm_source=podcast&utm_campaign=reparenting-your-inner-child&utm_medium=organic&utm_content=pod-09-28-26&el=podcast

How To Repair Relationships & Create Lasting Emotional Connection
https://offer.personaldevelopmentschool.com/relationship-repair?utm_source=podcast&utm_campaign=relationship-repair&utm_medium=organic&utm_content=pod-09-25-26&el=podcast

Have you ever received an apology that sounded like the right words—but somehow still didn’t feel sincere?

Maybe you heard, “I’m sorry you feel that way,” a dismissive “Sorry, can we move on?” or an apology immediately followed by blame. These responses can leave you feeling unheard, misunderstood, and even more disconnected than before the conversation began.

In this episode, Thais Gibson breaks down five types of apologies that can feel emotionally manipulative or insincere, why people may communicate this way, and what a healthy apology actually looks like.

You’ll learn why a sincere apology requires more than simply saying “sorry.” Thais explains the importance of acknowledging emotions, becoming genuinely curious about the other person’s experience, and finding a solution that addresses the underlying problem. She also shares how to validate someone’s feelings without accepting unhealthy behavior—and how to set boundaries that support healthier communication going forward.

In This Episode, You’ll Learn:
✔ 5 common types of emotionally manipulative or insincere apologies
✔ Why “I’m sorry you feel that way” can feel invalidating and deflect responsibility
✔ How Avoidant Attachment patterns can sometimes turn “sorry” into a way of escaping conflict
✔ Why “Sorry, but you…” prevents both sides of a conflict from being properly resolved
✔ How to respond when someone uses your past behavior to justify hurting you
✔ Why an apology delivered with attitude usually fails to repair emotional connection
✔ Why unresolved conflicts from the past tend to keep resurfacing
✔ How to acknowledge someone’s emotions without accepting unhealthy behavior
✔ The key ingredients that make an apology feel sincere
✔ How curiosity, understanding, boundaries, and solutions can help repair a relationship

Timestamps:
00:00 – Why Some Apologies Don’t Feel Sincere
01:10 – #1: “I’m Sorry You Feel That Way”
02:45 – #2: Saying Sorry to Avoid the Conflict
04:01 – #3: “Sorry, But You…”
05:17 – How to Respond to Blame During an Apology
05:59 – #4: Saying Sorry With an Attitude
06:30 – A Healthier Way to Respond During Conflict
06:53 – #5: “Forget About the Past”
07:37 – What a Healthy Apology Actually Looks Like
07:39 – Acknowledge the Other Person’s Feelings
08:08 – Validating Feelings While Maintaining Boundaries
09:08 – Curiosity, Understanding & Finding a Solution
09:36 – Resolving a Two-Way Conflict

Meet Thais
Thais Gibson, PhD, is a Best-Selling Author, Pastoral Counselor, Relationship Coach, and the founder of The Personal Development School (PDS). Between 2013 and 2019, she developed Integrated Attachment Theory® (IAT), the Six-Step Method to Becoming Secure, a framework rooted in neuroscience, attachment theory, psychology, and spirituality, trademarked in October 2021. IAT works across six pillars:

✔ Rewire Your Attachment Core Wounds
✔ Learn Your Attachment Needs
✔ Regulate Your Nervous System Somatically
✔ Learn Healthy Boundaries
✔ Improve Communication
✔ Rewire Your Unhealthy Protest Behaviors

Since opening in 2020, PDS has grown to serve over 70,000 students in 145 countries, achieving a 97% satisfaction rate and helping people reprogram their subconscious patterns and build thriving, secure relationships.

Helpful Resources:

🧠 Take the Free Attachment Style Quiz
https://attachment.personaldevelopmentschool.com/?utm_source=podcast&utm_campaign=attachment-quiz&utm_medium=organic&el=podcast

📘 Become an IAT Relationship Coach
https://attachment.personaldevelopmentschool.com/iat?utm_source=podcast&utm_campaign=iat&utm_medium=organic&el=podcast

📚 Read the New Attachment Theory Book
https://attachment.personaldevelopmentschool.com/book/the-new-attachment-theory?utm_source=podcast&utm_campaign=the-new-attachment-theory&utm_medium=organic&el=podcast

🎧 Discover Podcast Episodes
https://attachment.personaldevelopmentschool.com/podcast?utm_source=podcast&utm_campaign=podcast-page&utm_medium=organic&el=podcast

📝 Read the PDS Blog
https://blog.personaldevelopmentschool.com/

Let’s Connect on Socials:
📸 Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/thepersonaldevelopmentschool/
📘 Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/ThePersonalDevelopmentSchool
🎵 TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@thaisgibson
💼 LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/company/thepersonaldevelopmentschool/

#RelationshipRepair #HealthyCommunication #Apology #ConflictResolution #AttachmentStyles #AttachmentTheory #HealthyRelationships #RelationshipAdvice #PersonalDevelopmentSchool

Ready to repair your relationship and create a stronger, lasting emotional connection?

Explore How To Repair Relationships & Create Lasting Emotional Connection:
https://offer.personaldevelopmentschool.com/relationship-repair?utm_source=podcast&utm_campaign=relationship-repair&utm_medium=organic&utm_content=pod-09-25-26&el=podcast