Anger Secrets

For more information on how to control your anger, visit angersecrets.com.
In this episode, anger expert Alastair Duhs shares five practical ways to respond when someone else's anger is directed at you. Whether it's a partner who explodes, a colleague who unloads or a family member who pushes your buttons, how you respond in those moments matters more than you might think.
Rather than fighting back or shutting down, Alastair explains how staying calm, using empathy and setting clear boundaries can completely change the dynamic, without accepting blame or tolerating abuse.
Key Takeaways:
You staying calm is the most powerful thing in the room. Responding with your own anger only escalates the situation. Managing your nervous system first changes everything.
Most of the time, someone else's anger isn't really about you. Recognising this creates distance from the heat and prevents unnecessary conflict.
Anger is usually just the surface. Underneath it is almost always something softer - hurt, fear, or feeling unheard. Empathy shifts the conversation faster than any argument.
Boundaries aren't threats. A calm, clear statement of what you will and won't accept creates more safety in a relationship, not less.
If what you're experiencing crosses into abuse, verbal, emotional, or physical, these tips aren't enough. Real support is needed, and your safety always comes first.

Resources & Next Steps:
If you'd like support handling anger, yours or someone else's, and building calmer, more loving relationships:
Visit: angersecrets.com
Book a free 30-minute phone call
Access the free training on "Breaking The Anger Cycle"

For more information on how to control your anger, visit angersecrets.com.
In this episode, anger expert Alastair Duhs shares three practical steps to help you control your anger before it takes over. If you've ever said something you regret in the heat of the moment, or felt like your anger erupts before you even realise what's happening, this episode explains exactly why that happens and what you can do about it starting today.
Rather than offering generic advice like "count to ten" or "take a deep breath," Alastair breaks down the real mechanics of anger: why it escalates so fast, what's actually driving it beneath the surface and how better communication can transform even the most stuck relationship patterns.
Key Takeaways:
You can't control your anger if you don't know it's happening. Learning to spot your personal early warning signs before anger peaks is the most important first step.
Your anger isn't caused by what happens to you. It's caused by what you think about what happens to you. Changing the thought changes the response.
Beneath every repeated trigger is usually a rigid belief, and once you can see it clearly, you can begin to shift it.
Active listening is one of the most powerful anger management tools in relationships. When people feel truly heard, defensiveness drops and real conversations become possible.
These are skills, not personality traits. They get easier with practice.

Resources & Next Steps:
If you'd like support controlling your anger and building calmer, more loving relationships:
Visit: angersecrets.com
Book a free 30-minute phone call
Access the free training on "Breaking The Anger Cycle"

For more information on how to control your anger, visit angersecrets.com.
Have you ever promised yourself you’d stay calm with your kids only to find yourself yelling anyway when your patience runs out? You try the usual parenting tips, counting to ten or staying positive, but in the moment none of it seems to work.
In this episode of The Anger Secrets Podcast, anger expert Alastair Duhs explains why most discipline advice fails when emotions are already high, and what actually works instead.
You’ll learn how your internal emotional state plays a bigger role than your child’s behaviour, and how small changes in awareness, communication and structure can transform discipline from reactive to calm and effective.
What you’ll learn in this episode:
-Why your child’s behaviour isn’t the real cause of your anger
-How stress and unprocessed emotions influence your reactions
-The importance of clear expectations instead of vague rules
-How noticing positive behaviour reduces conflict over time
-Why empathy helps children calm down faster without removing boundaries
-When and how to take a timeout yourself to prevent escalation
Want help with this?
If you’re tired of yelling and want practical tools to stay calm and connected with your kids, support is available:
-Watch the free training on Breaking The Anger Cycle
-Book a free 30-minute Anger Assessment Call
-Learn more about The Complete Anger Management System

For more information on how to control your anger, visit angersecrets.com.
Have you ever felt like small frustrations slowly build up until suddenly you’re snapping at the person you care about most? You tell yourself you’ll do better next time, but the same pattern keeps repeating, leaving you feeling frustrated, guilty or stuck.
In this episode of The Anger Secrets Podcast, anger expert Alastair Duhs speaks with Matthew, a husband who found himself caught in a cycle of escalating arguments that were damaging trust in his relationship. Although he didn’t see himself as someone with a major anger problem, underlying stress and unprocessed emotions were turning everyday situations into conflict.
You’ll hear how Matthew learned to recognise his early warning signs of anger, slow down his reactions and use practical tools to shift from conflict to cooperation, rebuilding calm communication and creating positive change at home.
What you’ll learn in this episode:
-Why anger often shows up through small moments rather than big events
-How frustration can build quietly until it suddenly explodes
-The importance of recognising where you are on the Tension Scale
-Why thoughts don’t have to become actions
-How changing your perspective can transform your relationship dynamics
-Simple tools that help you slow down and respond more intentionally
Want help with this?
If you recognise yourself in Matthew’s story and want practical support learning how to control your anger, help is available:
-Watch the free training on breaking the anger cycle
-Book a free 30-minute Anger Assessment Call
-Learn more about The Complete Anger Management System

For more information on how to control your anger, visit angersecrets.com.
In this episode, anger expert Alastair Duhs introduces a simple but powerful framework designed to help you interrupt anger before it turns into an explosion. Instead of trying to calm down after an outburst has already started, you’ll learn how to recognise the early warning signs of anger and use a practical four-step process to change what happens next.
If you’ve ever felt like anger takes over too quickly, or that you remember coping strategies only after it’s too late, this episode offers a clear and practical solution you can start using immediately.
Key Takeaways:
-Most people try to manage anger after they’ve already reacted. The real power lies in recognising the moment when anger is rising, not when it has already exploded.
-The STOP Model gives you a structured way to create space between trigger and reaction.
-Your anger rarely goes from zero to 100 instantly. There is almost always a window where change is possible.
-Practicing these skills during low-stress situations helps build automatic responses when high-stress moments arise.
-Small physical reminders (notes, cards, visual cues) can reinforce new habits.
Resources & Next Steps:
If you’d like support controlling your anger and breaking long-standing patterns:
-Visit: https://angersecrets.com
-Book a free 30-minute phone call
-Access the free training on "Breaking The Anger Cycle"