Anger Secrets

For more information on how to control your anger, visit angersecrets.com.
Have you ever felt like small frustrations slowly build up until suddenly you’re snapping at the person you care about most? You tell yourself you’ll do better next time, but the same pattern keeps repeating, leaving you feeling frustrated, guilty or stuck.
In this episode of The Anger Secrets Podcast, anger expert Alastair Duhs speaks with Matthew, a husband who found himself caught in a cycle of escalating arguments that were damaging trust in his relationship. Although he didn’t see himself as someone with a major anger problem, underlying stress and unprocessed emotions were turning everyday situations into conflict.
You’ll hear how Matthew learned to recognise his early warning signs of anger, slow down his reactions and use practical tools to shift from conflict to cooperation, rebuilding calm communication and creating positive change at home.
What you’ll learn in this episode:
-Why anger often shows up through small moments rather than big events
-How frustration can build quietly until it suddenly explodes
-The importance of recognising where you are on the Tension Scale
-Why thoughts don’t have to become actions
-How changing your perspective can transform your relationship dynamics
-Simple tools that help you slow down and respond more intentionally
Want help with this?
If you recognise yourself in Matthew’s story and want practical support learning how to control your anger, help is available:
-Watch the free training on breaking the anger cycle
-Book a free 30-minute Anger Assessment Call
-Learn more about The Complete Anger Management System

For more information on how to control your anger, visit angersecrets.com.
In this episode, anger expert Alastair Duhs introduces a simple but powerful framework designed to help you interrupt anger before it turns into an explosion. Instead of trying to calm down after an outburst has already started, you’ll learn how to recognise the early warning signs of anger and use a practical four-step process to change what happens next.
If you’ve ever felt like anger takes over too quickly, or that you remember coping strategies only after it’s too late, this episode offers a clear and practical solution you can start using immediately.
Key Takeaways:
-Most people try to manage anger after they’ve already reacted. The real power lies in recognising the moment when anger is rising, not when it has already exploded.
-The STOP Model gives you a structured way to create space between trigger and reaction.
-Your anger rarely goes from zero to 100 instantly. There is almost always a window where change is possible.
-Practicing these skills during low-stress situations helps build automatic responses when high-stress moments arise.
-Small physical reminders (notes, cards, visual cues) can reinforce new habits.
Resources & Next Steps:
If you’d like support controlling your anger and breaking long-standing patterns:
-Visit: https://angersecrets.com
-Book a free 30-minute phone call
-Access the free training on "Breaking The Anger Cycle"

For more information on how to control your anger, visit angersecrets.com.
Have you ever had an argument that started over something small? The dishes, a tone of voice or being late, and somehow ended with both of you feeling hurt, defensive and completely misunderstood?
In this episode of The Anger Secrets Podcast, anger expert Alastair Duhs explains why most relationship conflict isn’t caused by big problems. It’s caused by small moments where listening breaks down, emotions rise and conversations spiral out of control before either person realises what’s happening.
You’ll learn three practical communication skills that actually work: helping you feel heard, express yourself clearly without aggression and stop everyday disagreements from turning into damaging arguments.
What you’ll learn in this episode:
Why good intentions still lead to communication breakdowns
The most common mistake people make when they think they’re “listening”
How to express yourself clearly without sounding aggressive or defensive
A simple structure for difficult conversations that reduces conflict
How to negotiate disagreements without damaging trust or respect

The three communication skills covered:
Active listening: Learning to understand before responding
Clear, non-aggressive expression: Saying what you mean without escalating conflict
Effective negotiation: Working together instead of against each other

Want help with this?
If communication in your relationship keeps breaking down, especially when emotions run high, support is available:
Watch the free training on breaking the anger cycle
Book a free 30-minute Anger Assessment Call
Learn more about The Complete Anger Management System

Visit angersecrets.com to get started.
When communication changes, relationships change with it.
And remember:
You can’t control other people — but you can control yourself.

For more information on how to control your anger, visit angersecrets.com.
Have you ever gone from calm to furious in a matter of seconds, and only afterwards wondered, “Where did that come from?”
In this episode of The Anger Secrets Podcast, anger expert Alastair Duhs explains why anger rarely comes out of nowhere. Instead, it’s usually triggered by long-standing patterns that quietly shape how you react in relationships, at work and under stress.
You’ll learn what anger triggers really are, where they come from, and why recognising them early gives you the power to slow things down before anger takes control.
What you’ll learn in this episode:
What anger triggers are and why they feel automatic
Why small moments can activate intense emotional reactions
Common anger triggers, including feeling disrespected, criticised, or overwhelmed
How past experiences and stress fuel present-day anger
Why awareness is the first step to real anger control

Practical tools discussed:
Identifying your personal anger triggers through reflection
Using a diary or journal to spot patterns in your anger
Recognising early warning signs before anger escalates
Challenging unhelpful thoughts through cognitive reframing
When to seek professional support to speed up change

Want help with this?
If you want support identifying and managing your anger triggers:
Watch the free training on breaking the anger cycle
Book a free 30-minute Anger Assessment Call
Learn more about The Complete Anger Management System

Visit angersecrets.com to get started.
Once you can recognise your anger triggers, you’re no longer at their mercy.
And remember:
You can’t control other people, but you can control yourself.

For more information on how to control your anger, visit angersecrets.com.
Is anger always a bad thing? Or are there times when feeling angry actually makes sense?
In this episode of The Anger Secrets Podcast, anger expert Alastair Duhs explains why anger itself isn’t the problem. The real damage happens when anger is either suppressed or expressed in ways that hurt relationships.
You’ll learn what healthy anger really looks like, how it differs from destructive anger and how to express anger in a way that protects trust, communication and emotional safety.
What you’ll learn in this episode
Why anger is a normal and necessary human emotion
The difference between healthy, assertive anger and destructive anger
How unhealthy anger damages trust and connection over time
Real-life examples of responding to anger at work and in relationships
Practical ways to express anger calmly, clearly, and respectfully

Key principles of healthy anger:
Healthy anger is expressed, not suppressed
It is assertive, not aggressive
It focuses on solutions rather than blame
It respects both your needs and the needs of others

Practical tips covered:
Pause before reacting and reflect on what’s really going on
Use “I” statements instead of blame or accusation
Focus on problem-solving rather than winning
Set clear, respectful boundaries
Practice forgiveness to avoid carrying resentment

Want help applying this?
If you’d like support learning how to express anger in healthier ways:
Watch the free training on breaking the anger cycle
Book a free 30-minute Anger Assessment Call
Learn more about The Complete Anger Management System

Visit angersecrets.com to get started.
Anger doesn’t need to be eliminated. It needs to be understood and used wisely.
And remember:
You can’t control other people, but you can control yourself.