Wire Talk with Karen Stubbs

Big emotions can leave even the most confident mom wondering, Is this normal… or should I be concerned? Counselor Dr. Chinwé Williams joins Karen and Emily to explain what’s happening in our kids’ brains when they completely lose it and how we can partner with them to teach coping skills so they can move toward handling hard emotions on their own.
Episode Recap:
Are kids struggling with mental health more these days or are we just better at recognizing it? (2:32)
As young as age 5, kids are struggling with ‘task persistence’ (4:41)
Anxiety is a sign - it’s not the enemy (8:54)
Understanding the upstairs vs. downstairs brain (15:48)
How do we help our child via co-regulation? (20:04)
Where’s the line between attachment science and gentle parenting? (22:50)

Scripture:  James 1:19 (NIV) — “Everyone should be quick to listen, slow to speak and slow to become angry.”

Discussion Questions:
When your child has big emotions, what’s your first instinct: fix it, stop it, discipline it, or help them through it?
Dr. Williams said anxiety is a sign, not the enemy. What might your child’s anxiety be telling you right now?
How well do you stay regulated when your child is dysregulated? What tends to send you over the edge with them?
Is there an area where you’re stepping in too quickly instead of giving your child a chance to struggle, persist, and build confidence?

Resources:
Pick up a copy of Calm, Courageous, and Connected
Sign up for Dr. Chinwé’s free monthly newsletter online
Connect on IG: @dr.chinwewilliams
Reach out to have Karen or Erin come speak in your community.
Atlanta moms - sign up for Mom Core Live! - a short term group with Karen and Erin

Want More of This Conversation?
In Wire Talk+, Dr. Chinwé Williams gets incredibly practical about what to say and do during a meltdown—including how to respond when your child’s big emotions trigger your own.
Become an Insider today to get bonus content each week, join quarterly Zoom calls with Karen and sustain the ministry of this podcast!

Working moms carry a lot, and sometimes we make the load even heavier by carrying things God never asked us to! Erin Mashaw joins Karen and Emily to talk about mom guilt, comparison, and that nagging feeling that you’re always disappointing someone.If you’re constantly wondering whether you’re doing enough at work or at home, we hope this conversation will help you put down some of that weight! 

Episode Recap:
Every season looks different in the life of a working mom (0:50)
Being a working mom can feel like you are constantly disappointing someone (3:30)
Between the physical and the emotional, working moms are constantly busy (6:00)
The story of Martha shows us that we often carry things God has not given us (8:20)
How do we move away from a comparison mentality? (11:25)
Our kids don’t need perfect moms, they need us to be honest and real (14:26)
Your ‘race’ is unique to your family and your circumstances (17:21)

Scripture: Luke 10:40-42 (NIV) 
“But Martha was distracted by all the preparations that had to be made. She came to him and asked, “Lord, don’t you care that my sister has left me to do the work by myself? Tell her to help me!”
“Martha, Martha,” the Lord answered, “you are worried and upset about many things,  but few things are needed—or indeed only one. Mary has chosen what is better, and it will not be taken away from her.”

Discussion Questions:
Where do you feel the most pressure to “do it all” right now? Is that pressure actually coming from God?
Do you ever feel like you’re disappointing someone no matter what you choose? How does that affect the way you show up at work or at home?
Where are you comparing your family or your motherhood to someone else’s? 
What are you carrying right now that God may never have asked you to carry?

Resources:
Follow Erin Mashaw online: @erinmashaw 
Reach out to have Karen or Erin come speak in your community.
Atlanta moms - sign up for Mom Core Live! A short term group with Karen and Erin beginning the week of October 13th. 

Want More of This Conversation?
Wire Talk INSIDERS will hear Karen and Erin share helpful boundaries they have put in place to balance and honor both work and family. Plus - don’t miss the printable chart to help you assess “What’s Mine to Carry?”
Become an Insider today to get bonus content each week, join quarterly Zoom calls with Karen and sustain the ministry of this podcast!

Boundaries can feel uncomfortable, but they’re essential for healthy relationships! Counsellor Debbie Causey joins Karen and Emily today to explain what healthy boundaries actually look like, how over-functioning hurts the people we’re trying to help, and how to know when it’s time to say no. If boundaries are hard for you, you’ll walk away with practical tools, including how to start with a few “baby nos” to protect your relationships without building walls.
Episode Recap:
Why are boundaries a universal struggle? (2:40)
Healthy boundaries aren’t a wall, they’re a fence with a gate (4:11)
We need to learn the difference between a burden and a backpack (6:45)
How can I tell if I have a boundary issue with someone else? (10:54)
Over-functioning teaches people to be lazy and steals their confidence (14:15)
What's the difference between setting a boundary and just avoiding people? (16:00)
Get someone objective in the situation if you need to (22:36)
Practice saying “ baby” nos (23:31)

Scripture: Galatians 6:2-5 (NIV) 
“Carry each other’s burdens, and in this way you will fulfill the law of Christ. If anyone thinks they are something when they are not, they deceive themselves. Each one should test their own actions. Then they can take pride in themselves alone, without comparing themselves to someone else, for each one should carry their own load.”

Discussion Questions:
Is there a relationship where you’re carrying someone else’s “backpack”? What would it look like to hand that responsibility back to them?
Where are you over-functioning for someone in a way that may actually be keeping them from growing?
What’s one “baby no” you need to practice saying this week? What makes that ‘no’ difficult for you?

Resources:
Need more on Boundaries with your kids ? Listen to episode 494! 
Pick up a copy of Boundaries by Dr. Henry Cloud & John Townsend
Reach out to have Karen come speak in your community.

Want More of This Conversation?
During Wire Talk+, Debbie shares a personal story of when she got it really wrong by not having boundaries and leaves us with encouragement about how boundaries can change your life for the better!
Become an Insider today to get bonus content each week, join quarterly Zoom calls with Karen and sustain the ministry of this podcast!

Sometimes it's not the kids - it's the adults around them that make parenting so difficult! Today we are answering your questions about difficult in-laws, boundaries with extended family, and tricky friendships that can make even simple parenting scenarios more complicated. Tune in and learn something practical to help you navigate whatever you're facing this week.
Episode Recap:
Should I re-engage my family of origin? Historically, it has been painful. (5:30)
I’m struggling with my sister-in-law who tries to parent my kids (8:30)
We are raising our kids far from family - how do I bring this grief to God? (11:55)
One of my close friend’s children is just plain destructive, how do I handle that? (16:07)

Scripture: Romans 12:18 (NIV) 
“If it is possible, as far as it depends on you, live at peace with everyone.”

Discussion Questions:
Generally speaking, are boundaries easy for you to create? 
Is there a relationship in your life that regularly makes parenting harder? What specifically is creating tension?
Where do you need a clearer boundary with extended family? What keeps you from setting it?
Are you carrying grief over the family relationships you wish your kids had? Have you honestly brought that disappointment to God?

Resources:
Use code WT20 to get $20 off SOAR registration today! 
Pick up a copy of Boundaries by Dr. Henry Cloud & John Townsend
Reach out to have Karen come speak in your community.

Want More of This Conversation?
During Wire Talk+, Karen and Emily share real-life examples of how boundaries have brought freedom to their relationships and Karen offers her best in-law advice!
Become an Insider today to get bonus content each week, join quarterly Zoom calls with Karen and sustain the ministry of this podcast!

Have you ever looked at your child and wondered, Where in the world is this behavior coming from? If you’re feeling overwhelmed by big emotions, difficult behavior, or a child you just can’t seem to figure out, this episode is for you. Karen and Emily share practical insight and tools to help you better understand your child and respond with confidence instead of frustration.
Episode Recap:
Sign up for SOAR today!  (1:32)
My 10 yr old is so domineering that other kids don’t want to play with him (3:44)
My ADHD daughter cannot control her temper and hits frequently (5:39)
My son has been horribly mean to us lately, what could be wrong that he has started to treat us this way? (10:05)
It’s okay to pause and remind your kids of your family’s rules (13:25)
When we discipline our son, he takes his anger out on our Sheetrock (18:09)

Scripture: James 1:19-20 (NIV)
“My dear brothers and sisters, take note of this: Everyone should be quick to listen, slow to speak and slow to become angry, because human anger does not produce the righteousness that God desires.”
Discussion Questions:
What behavior in your child scares/worries you the most right now? Are you dealing with what’s actually happening, or are you catastrophizing about where it could lead?
Karen talked about knowing her children’s sin tendencies. Do you know your child’s? Have you asked God to show you what’s really going on in their heart?
When your child loses control, do you tend to lose control too? What would it look like for you to pause before responding?
Is there a behavior you’ve been excusing that actually needs a clear boundary or consequence? What do you need to address this week?

Resources:
Use code WT20 to get $20 off SOAR registration today! 
Listen to past ADHD specific episodes: 207, 208, 530
Reach out to have Karen come speak in your community.
Become a WT+ Insider this month and get an exclusive SOAR discount! 

Want More of This Conversation?
During Wire Talk+, Karen pulls back the curtain on what discipline really looked like in the Stubbs home, plus she and Emily talk about how to keep from catastrophizing when our kids’ behavior scares us.
Become an Insider today to get bonus content each week, join quarterly Zoom calls with Karen and sustain the ministry of this podcast.