Trust Me Mom

In this episode of Trust Me Mom (Season 2, episode 33), Ekaterina Konovalova sat down with Vanessa Spinarsky - registered social worker, content creator, and one of the most honest voices in modern motherhood.Vanessa shared her personal story of loss of her father, what led her into social work, and how motherhood shook her sense of identity. Together, we unpacked the reality of postpartum burnout, the pressure and “surveillance” moms feel on social media, why it’s normal to not enjoy every moment, and how shame gets projected in parenting spaces. We also dove into the mental load, inequality at home, and what partners can do that actually helps: acknowledge reality without debating it.To learn more about Vanessa, check her website https://linktr.ee/vanessaspinarsky00:37 — Meet Vanessa Spinarsky 01:10 — Why Vanessa became a therapist: early creativity + psychology02:40 — Losing her dad at 8 and how it shaped her inner world05:46 — “Motherhood rocked me”: identity crash + anxiety07:20 — Social media “surveillance” and moralized motherhood10:24 — The daily grind: “getting back to zero” and burnout10:56 — The “strong one” identity + postpartum vulnerability13:35 — What progress in motherhood really looks like: adapting15:16 — Guilt, overstimulation, and not enjoying every moment16:01 — Why stepping away can be loving (and not “abandoning”)20:58 — Shame: internal vs projected judgment (comment sections)24:21 — Mental load + inequality: shift from blame to acknowledgement29:38 — Lessons from her husband: letting go of control + embracing rest33:25 — Vanessa’s book journey (proposal + what’s coming)35:38 — Nervous system flexibility: micro-rest and realistic regulation40:23 — Why you can’t “switch back” to pre-kid life overnight40:30 — Final thoughts: co-regulation, “me too,” and feeling seen#TrustMeMom #VanessaSpinarsky #Motherhood #Postpartum #MomBurnout #MentalLoad #WorkingMoms #Parenting #GentleParenting #MomShame #Matrescence #NervousSystem #EmotionalRegulation #MarriageAndParenting #WomenSupportingWomen

In this episode of the Trust Me Mom podcast, host EkaterinaKonovalova sat down with author Alex (Sasha) Simakovsky to explorethe science, psychology, and emotional power of human touch.
Alex shared what inspired his book, More Than a Touch:Rediscover the Healing Power of Handholding, and why intentional touch ismore important than ever in a post-pandemic, digital-first world. Together,they discussed tactile hunger, parenting and child regulation, relationshiprepair, cultural perspectives on touch, and simple handholding practices thatcan help children and adults feel safer, calmer, and more connected.
 
📘 Alex’s Book: MoreThan a Touch: Rediscover the Healing Power of Handholding https://www.amazon.com/More-Than-Touch-Rediscover-Handholding/dp/B0FKXZX5M4
 
00:00 Introduction & welcome
00:22 Why human touch matters (especially after the pandemic)
01:02 What inspired the book More Than a Touch
02:10 Growing up with holistic, touch-based healing
03:54 The science of touch: hormones, stress & regulation
05:37 Parenting, touch, and emotional safety for kids
06:03 Hand-in-hand breathing exercise for children
08:16 Demonstration: how hand-in-hand breathing works
09:32 Why assisted regulation works better for some kids
10:17 The “30-second rule” and intentional touch
10:41 Handholding during conflict and relationship repair
12:59 Cultural differences in handholding around the world
15:28 Alex’s favorite chapters and modern-day application
16:54 A powerful father–daughter story from the book
19:23 Closing thoughts  
 
#TrustMeMom #HumanTouch #Handholding #ParentingTools#EmotionalRegulation #TactileHunger #MindfulParenting #ChildDevelopment#Relationships #MentalHealth #Attachment #NeurodivergentKids #HolisticWellness#ConnectionMatters

Raising a teenager with big emotions can feel overwhelming, especially when nothing you say seems to help. In this episode of Trust Me Mom, host Ekaterina Konovalova sits down with therapist and author Katie K. May, a leading expert on teen behavior and emotional regulation.Katie introduces the concept of “fire-feelers” - teens who experience emotions intensely and struggle to calm down once triggered. Drawing from her own lived experience and years of clinical work using Dialectical Behavior Therapy (DBT), she explains why common parenting strategies like minimizing, fixing, or pushing for conversations often backfire.In this deeply honest and practical conversation, we cover:• Why teen behaviors like self-harm, withdrawal, or lashing out are often coping strategies• The difference between validation and invalidation• How parents can stop escalating conflict and start building trust• When to step back vs. when to intervene during emotional crises• How parents’ own emotional regulation shapes their teen’s outcomes• The grief parents experience as their child grows, and why it matters• What to do if your teen talks about suicide or self-harm To learn more about Katie, check out her website: https://katiekmay.com/ 00:00 – Introduction01:02 – Meet Katie K. May & today’s topic01:42 – Katie’s personal story & why she became a therapist03:03 – What are “fire-feelers”?04:28 – Why parents unintentionally invalidate teen emotions06:34 – What validation really looks like (and sounds like)08:02 – Friendship insecurity & clingy behavior in teens10:55 – The parent-teen escalation cycle (transactional model)12:56 – Why you shouldn’t problem-solve during emotional flooding14:06 – Boundaries without authoritarian parenting16:33 – What to do in serious teen crises (running away, self-harm)18:03 – Why fixing your teen’s problems can backfire19:44 – Are you a fire-feeler too?20:28 – Parental grief as kids grow and push away23:10 – When extended family doesn’t support your parenting choices26:12 – DBT therapy & working with teens and families27:21 – What to do if your teen talks about suicide29:25 – How parents accidentally reinforce harmful behaviors31:57 – What’s normal vs. concerning teen behavior33:47 – Why one bad moment can ruin a teen’s whole day35:24 – Nature vs. nurture in emotional sensitivity37:18 – How teens can safely feel emotions instead of numbing39:03 – Final advice: parents go first #TrustMeMom #teenmentalhealth #parentingteens #FireFeelers #EmotionalRegulation #DBTTherapy #HighlySensitiveTeen #TeenBehavior#MentalHealthAwareness #ParentingSupport #TraumaInformedParenting

What really happens after we get married and have kids — and why does “equality” so often disappear?In this powerful episode of Trust Me Mom (Season 1, episode 30), host Ekaterina Konovalova sits down with Abby Eckel — content creator, educator, and advocate for equitable partnerships — to unpack the realities of modern motherhood, invisible labor, emotional load, and why so many women feel overwhelmed despite “doing everything right.”Abby shares her journey into advocacy, the TikTok moment that went viral when she talked about splitting household labor equally, and why so many men don’t even realize they’re at the center of their relationships. This conversation dives into:- Why motherhood feels nothing like what we were promised- How gender roles quietly reassert themselves after children- The danger of framing women as responsible for men’s well-being- Why “just communicate better” is often terrible advice- What centering yourself actually looks like in real life- How raising boys differently can change future generations- This conversation is honest, uncomfortable at times, deeply validating — and necessary.00:00 Introduction & why this conversation matters00:52 Meet Abby Eckel & the struggle of modern working moms01:49 “I felt lied to about motherhood” — Abby’s origin story03:20 The viral moment: splitting cooking & bedtime equally04:32 Raising boys without gendered roles06:48 Teaching kids to fully finish tasks (the train-track story)08:53 Why women don’t want to come home to chaos11:44 Equal custody laws & why they scare mothers12:34 Scott Galloway, single men, and misplaced responsibility15:37 Why women aren’t meant to “fix” men16:39 “Just get a divorce?” — a provocative starting point19:10 Michelle & Barack Obama and invisible labor22:00 Why gender norms explode after kids25:33 Men being centered — and not realizing it29:16 When wives stop being “fun” and why31:09 Religion, submission, and unequal expectations33:00 What women can do right now to reclaim themselves36:04 Centering yourself without burning everything down36:19 Closing thoughts & gratitude#TrustMeMom #MentalLoad #InvisibleLabor #EquitableMarriage #ModernMotherhood #WorkingMoms #EmotionalLabor #Feminism #ParentingBoys #GenderRoles #MarriageReality#MotherhoodUnfiltered #SelfCentering #BreakingTheCycle #weaponizedincompetence

What’s really behind the growing teen mental health crisis —and are we asking the wrong questions?
In this episode of Trust Me Mom, host EkaterinaKonovalova sits down with Dr. Will Dobud, social work clinician, researcher, and co-author of Kids These Days, to unpack how modern mental health systems may be unintentionally harming young people.
Dr. Dobud challenges the over-medicalization of childhood,the rise of diagnostic labels as identity, and the belief that more therapy manuals and rules equal better outcomes. Drawing from decades of research, clinical practice, and outdoor-based therapeutic work, he explains why teensare often the canaries in the coal mine, and how our systems prioritize control over care.
Together, they explore:
• Why therapy outcomes haven’t improved in 50+ years• How labels like ADHD or depression can become limiting identities• The real risks and rewards of outdoor and experiential therapy• Power dynamics in therapy — and why acknowledging them matters• What parents should know before outsourcing their child’s mental health• How society shapes teen distress more than we want to admit00:00 – Introduction: Kids, mental health, and whythis conversation matters
01:15 – Will Dobud’s personal journey into social work
05:30 – From troubled teen to therapist: learning what actually helpskids
09:40 – Overdiagnosis, labels, and identity in youth mental health
14:30 – Why therapy manuals don’t improve outcomes
18:40 – What outdoor therapy really is (and isn’t)
23:50 – The myth of “better” therapy models
29:10 – Group expeditions, agency, and giving kids control
33:40 – How positive experiences can heal more than trauma talk
38:20 – Power, safety, and the real risks in therapy
45:00 – When systems protect themselves instead of kids
51:30 – Teens as the “canaries in the coal mine”
56:00 – Environmental, social, and systemic contributors to distress
1:01:00 – Why this isn’t a parenting manual — and why that matters
1:05:30 – Final thoughts: hope, responsibility, and rethinking care
 
#TrustMeMom #KidsTheseDays #TeenMentalHealth #YouthMentalHealth #ParentingTeens #MentalHealthAwareness #TherapyReimagined #Overdiagnosis #ADHD #OutdoorTherapy #ExperientialTherapy #SocialWork #Psychology #MentalHealthSystem #RaisingKidsToday