Neurodivergent Conversations | Autism, ADHD, AuDHD, PDA, Emotional Regulation, SEND parent, Meltdowns, Special Needs Parent

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If you've ever looked back on your life and realized how much energy went into just fitting in, this episode is going to feel like a deep exhale.

Greer sits down with author and ADHD coach Caroline Maguire for an honest conversation about friendship, masking, and what it really means to find your people as a neurodivergent adult — and to help your kids do the same.

Together they talk about why "just fit in" was never good advice, why unmasking is a journey rather than a switch you flip, and the difference between masking out of fear and choosing to keep yourself safe in a room that isn't safe yet. Caroline also shares one of her favorite parenting reframes: trading "why can't you be like everyone else?" for a curious "what happened, buddy?"

You'll hear why interest is the real fuel for connection, how starting small (even one activity) beats trying to do it all, and the permission so many of us need — to stop collecting any-old friends and start finding people who actually treat us well.

If you're tired, stretched thin, and wondering where friendship even fits right now, consider this your reminder: you're doing the best you can, and you get to choose.

Caroline's books, Why Will No One Play With Me? and Friendship Skills for Neurodivergent Adults, are linked below, and you can find her on Instagram

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Join us for Christmas in July as we connect, celebrate, and have a little fun!

If you've ever cancelled plans not because you didn't want to go, but because there was just no capacity left in the house — this one's for you.

In this episode, Greer sits down with Tracey Jewel Constable, a late-diagnosed neurodivergent mum raising her son Frankie, who is autistic and navigating ARFID (Avoidant Restrictive Food Intake Disorder). Together, they get into the honest, unglamorous, and also genuinely beautiful reality of parenting a child with additional needs when you're also managing your own nervous system.

Tracey talks about what "extra time" actually means in their house — and why it's not minutes, it's sometimes hours, or sometimes it means canceling everything and ordering Uber Eats. She shares how she and her husband use a simple battery-level check-in (think Brené Brown energy) to navigate days when capacity is low for one or both of them, and why pushing through doesn't help anyone when the tank is empty.

They also dig into Frankie's ARFID journey, including what it looked like before his PEG tube — and the beautiful shift Tracey has witnessed since he's been getting the nutrition his body needs. There's so much warmth in the way she talks about his stims and zoomies coming to life.

And then there's the social side — the invisible nature of neurodivergence, the comments from strangers in grocery stores, the friends who quietly drift away (Greer calls it "the silent slip away" and honestly, it's the most accurate phrase). Tracey and Greer both share how finding their people online changed everything — not a big circle, but a real one, where you don't have to mask or say you're fine when you're not.

This episode ends with something worth sitting with: it's not just awareness we're after anymore. It's acceptance. And that starts with meeting people where they are — with kindness, with dignity, and with the understanding that compassion doesn't cost a thing.

If you've been feeling lonely on this road, you are not alone. This community is out there, and it is waiting for you.

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JOIN CHRISTMAS IN JULY- a place to connect, receive free gifts, and have a little fun!

If you've ever wished the people around you just got it — this episode is for you.

Greer sits down with Jennifer Kaufman, school principal, author, and grandmother to a grandson with autism, to talk about what it actually looks like when extended family shows up well — and what gets in the way.

Jennifer brings a rare perspective. She's spent her career in autism education, but when her own grandchild was diagnosed, she had to learn something different: how to set aside the expert hat and just be grandma. That shift wasn't automatic. It was intentional.

Together, Greer and Jennifer get honest about the expectation piece (the holiday table you imagined vs. the one that's actually yours), the advice trap that even well-meaning grandparents fall into, and what it really means to be a safe space — not just a safe person.

Plus: the small gestures that land hardest, why an offer feels so different from a request when you're already stretched thin, and a reminder worth holding onto — neurodiverse people aren't giving us a hard time. They're having a hard time.

📖 Jennifer's book is linked below.  Also mentioned: The Blue Envelope Program — a simple tool to help keep neurodivergent people safer during police encounters. Search "Blue Envelope Program" to find it in your area.

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Check out Jennifer's book

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⁠⁠⁠The Unfinished Idea Website

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What actually changes when a child with ADHD becomes a teenager?

In this episode, Carla names something so many families are living: as kids grow, the support systems drop (parents reminding, teachers prompting, schedules structuring)… but the expectations rise (more deadlines, longer projects, less supervision). And for ADHD brains—where the planning and regulation center is still developing—this creates a painful gap between what’s expected and what’s neurologically ready.

Carla reframes what parents often interpret as “lack of motivation” as something else entirely: a regulation + structure need. She explains why teens might say, “I know what to do, but I just can’t start,” and how that isn’t defiance—it’s overwhelm and executive overload.

You’ll also hear how constant reminders (even well-intentioned ones) can turn a teen’s name into correction… and how that can quietly erode self-esteem over time. Carla offers small, practical shifts that help teens feel less attacked and more supported—like pausing before speaking, lowering your voice, using “we” language, and asking “What’s the first step?” instead of “Why haven’t you started?”

This is a deeply grounding conversation if you’re parenting an ADHD teen and you’re tired of the power struggles. It’s not about letting everything slide—it’s about building the kind of structure that helps your teen’s brain quiet down, so they can access their skills… and keep their confidence intact.

The Wonder Project: Subscriber support makes more great content like I Gotta Ask with Annie F. Downs possible. The Wonder Project subscription on Prime Video is available in the U.S. for $8.99/month or $89.99/year after a 7-day free trial.Visit IGottaAsk.com to learn more!

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Have you ever asked your partner to pass you something and gotten a "why?" in return — and thought, wait, what just happened? If that moment felt strangely familiar, this episode might be for you.

Greer is getting honest about something she doesn't see talked about enough: what it's like to be married to someone who may have PDA (pathological demand avoidance). Not from a place of frustration or blame — but from a place of real, lived experience, ongoing learning, and genuine love for her husband and their marriage.

She walks through what PDA actually is, why it can look like defiance even when it isn't, and the two things that have made the biggest difference in her own relationship — neither of which she came to perfectly, or all at once.

What you'll hear in this episode:

Setting expectations before the moment matters — way before. Not at the airport. Not when you're already frustrated. Greer shares how pre-loading expectations (sometimes weeks in advance) has quietly lowered the demand pressure in her home and made daily life feel a little more like a team effort.

Bringing your partner into the solution — not as a strategy to "trick" them, but as a genuine invitation to be part of the answer. It doesn't always look the way you'd do it. And Greer's honest about the fact that she's still figuring this out (the missing lightbulb is proof).

She also talks about the importance of low-demand evenings, why adults with PDA are often holding so much together during the day, and why asking your partner what actually helps them is always worth trying.

This episode won't hand you a perfect system. But it will remind you that you're not alone in this — and that both of you are learning, even when it's hard.

The Wonder Project: Subscriber support makes more great content like I Gotta Ask with Annie F. Downs possible. The Wonder Project subscription on Prime Video is available in the U.S. for $8.99/month or $89.99/year after a 7-day free trial.Visit IGottaAsk.com to learn more!

GET THE LINKS

⁠⁠⁠The Unfinished Idea Website

Join the Unfinished Community

Follow me on socials:

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